I don't own any of the Ashes to Ashes characters

Still suffering terrible writers block for TAoL, so just a quick drabble to keep myself entertained until the blocks gone :)


Gene ran his hand along the stiff length of it, squeezing it gently in his hand and tracing his thumb across the smooth tip. He sighed softly, lifting his gaze to Alex, who sat across from him on the top of his desk, her face schooled calmly, a scrutinising expression on her features as her eyes slowly lifted from his lap to his face, tooth worrying at her bottom lip slightly as she watched, intrigued.

"Alright, Bols?" He murmured, adjusting his grip slightly as he settled more comfortably into his chair, legs shifting apart as he went.

"I'm fine," she murmured softly, gaze resting on his hand yet again, forehead creasing into a soft frown. "But I thought you said it was big?"

A slight flush of embarrassment tinted Gene's cheeks, but except for that there was no other outward reaction, his hand still gently caressing, his touch not faltering. "I said it was impressive, Alex... and it is."

Alex shrugged, eyes narrowing, leaning forward and tilting her head to a different angle, displaying ample cleavage to Gene's hungry gaze as she viewed it from different angles, taking in the size, the shape, the colour... His hand tightened slightly as she watched, and a soft groan left his lips.

"Looks just the same as any other to me, Gene..." Alex said honestly, sitting back slightly. "Pinkish, stiff, long – I've seen it all before. And I have to confess, I'm somewhat disappointed - I was rather expecting something exceptional."

Gene gritted his teeth, face reddening in the dim light. "Look, Bolly, I didn't say it was huge, I said it was thorough and it got the job done!"

Alex nodded apathetically, and then shrugged again. "It's still too spindly, Gene – I wouldn't give it five out of ten!"

Gene looked aghast, his mouth going slack and his hand stilling its movements. "Spindly?" His voice was laced with disgust and he reached out to grab her wrist, jerking her towards him and closing her hand in place of his own. "Touch that, and then tell me it's spindly!" Gene demanded, glowering slightly, even as her wrist relaxed under his touch.

Alex bit her lip, hesitating only slightly, gaze flicking to Gene's face for a brief second, before she traced her fingers gently up and down, feeling the warmth beneath her fingers, the smooth surface and the surprising strength as she nodded in agreement, hefting it slightly in her palm as she tested the weight of it.

"See," Gene said breathily, her smell wafting in his nostrils as he met her eyes, face mere inches from hers. "Feels good, don't it? Pretty impressive, even by your standards... right?"

"Alright, you aren't wrong, it is-" her tongue peeked out of her mouth slightly as she searched for a word, "...sturdy."

Gene smiled in satisfaction, watching as she continued to trace the length with her delicate hands, captivated as her purple nails contrasted starkly with the pink. "Told you so," he said smugly, his breathing shallow.

Alex looked amused and, smiling coyly, she replied, hand still touching, "but that doesn't mean you know how to use it, does it?"

"Sounds like a challenge," Gene murmured. He waited a moment before speaking again; "Fancy a demo, Bols?" His tone was suggestive and warm as he waggled his eyebrows, grinning daringly up at her.

Alex smirked, unfazed. "Oh, naturally... How shall we do this?"

Gene swiftly placed his hands on her hip, moving her so that she sat directly in front of him, her jean clad thighs exactly in his line of vision. "Stand right there..." He grinned. "Do yer worst, Bollinger Knickers." He reached into the drawer slowly as he spoke, not once breaking eye contact, placing a small, brightly coloured square in her hand. He sat back, resuming his gentle exploration as he kept his eyes fixed on her.

"Out of interest," Alex said, picking something up from the desk, "why do you only rate it nine out ten? You seem quite taken with it."

Gene shrugged. "Friction burns- right pain in the arse, so to speak. And it hurts yer wrist a bit after a while an' all, what with all that bloody jerkin' an' rubbin'..." He trailed off slightly, and Alex snorted in amusement.

"Sounds inconvenient," she agreed softly, dropping her gaze.

Still grinning, Alex lowered her pencil to the post-it note she now held, shaking her head. "I still don't understand why you need an eraser, Gene."


Wasn't sure about the rating, so it's M for safety. Hope you liked :)

Mage of the Heart