"For the Love of Jasper" One-Shot Contest
Pen name: ForTheLoveOfTwilight
Existing work: N/A
Primary Players: Jasper, Maria
Disclaimer: I don't own anything twilight. The wonderful Ms. Meyer does
To see other entries in the "For the Love of Jasper" contest, please visit the C2:
I found Maria where I knew she would be, in her room drawing. She always drew. I would like them if they weren't always dark themes. She'd draw the stereo typical vampires burning in the sun. She had drawn a woman drowning in an iced over pond looking through the glass. There was the one of the Devil with his minions raping women and beheading the men while eating the flesh of children, that one really disturbed me, her mind was not one I would want a trip into.
"Maria I can't do this anymore."
I could feel the confusion flowing off her. Did she really have no idea what I meant?
"There has to be more to life than this war. There is just so much death and destruction. Blood-lust is everywhere. The emptiness has consumed me."
The understanding was evident in her eyes; I didn't need my gift to know that she had figured it out.
"Oh...You want to leave, but you're the best fighter I've got! The only one that can control the newborns, how am I supposed to control their fights if you leave? How can I calm them down when their in fear of getting caught? What about when I need to kill them and they know? How do I keep them calm to execute them? Your just going to leave me to do that aren't you? Don't you feel bad about leaving that entire burden on me?"
"Of course I feel guilty! You should feel it too! You make me absorb their emotions as well as yours! Everyday all I feel is the hatred they have for every thing. Their burning for blood, I don't want to take another father, mother, daughter, son, or anyone! These humans deserve their lives! What right do we have to play god? There has to be a way to feed on something other than humans. I can't take the pain anymore! It's torture. I feel like something is missing, like something is waiting for me. Something better."
"Wow, I didn't know you felt like that. Look, just leave. I will take everything upon myself to deal with. Go off and just forget about me! I don't need you! I can do it my damn self! You're nothing Jasper! NOTHING!"
Maria was panting with unneeded air by the time she was done with her rant. Her anger was rolling off her like a sudden thunderstorm. I had to keep from letting it affect me and take over my resolve. I wouldn't let her anger turn into mine. It was strong enough to effect me but not strong enough to to take over me and make me regret my actions. She's had some intense emotions, she was depressed one day and iIt made me want to commit suicide just to be with in a hundred feet of the area when she was there. She felt her emotions ten fold. There fore, I felt them even stronger than she did if I felt the same way. She never did tell me why she was depressed.
I could feel my loneliness intensifying by the second. Yeah, I had Maria, but she didn't let herself care for anyone. Anytime I would feel kindness from her it was quickly masked with need, the need for murder and power. Newborns weren't much company. The ones who weren't disposed of for being of no use were distant; they only knew fear and the burning desire for blood.
I wanted something different, I wasn't sure what I was looking for but it was something gentle. I heard it was peaceful in the North, maybe that was what I needed; calm. Something that was unheard of here amongst the raging war for I would find a companion; was I even worthy of one?
Anything had to be better that the constant rage, agony, and pain that I currently lived with. The emotions I felt were all sickening.
I wanted things I had only felt from unsuspecting humans, I wanted to feel them for myself. A different kind of lust, sexual lust, kindness for others, compassion for the less fortunate and most of all love.
I had felt it in numerous humans. Unrequited love, family love, friendly love, and the love for a partner. In my case the last one would be considered a mate. I had yet to feel any of these emotions from the vampires that made up my social life. To find love I knew I would have to leave, no needed to leave. If love ever existed here the violence has over shadowed it. The vampires let the darkness consume them and take over their desires.
I knew if I didn't leave now that I would never be able to escape the confines of the harsh world I had come to know.
Surprisingly the words Maria had spoken, although out of anger were backed up with truthfulness. She would let me go, no games. She wouldn't kill me after I got so far. I had to give her my gratitude. She may hate the idea of loosing her best solider but would grant me my wish. For that I was eternally grateful.
I didn't know why I hadn't seen it before. I should have been able to uncover her true feelings. She obviously had gotten good at masking her truest desires, because what she did next and her feelings were a complete shock to me.
"I didn't tell you, you could just leave like this! Anger got the best of me. You're staying, and if you leave I will get the newborns to come after you. They will track you down and kill you under my command. You will not leave all of this for me to do alone."
She was seething with anger, betrayal, and oddly enough, fear. The fear confused me, couldn't piece together why it was there. I understood the betrayal- I was betraying her, and the anger also directed at me. The fear was a mystery I would probably never understand.
"Fine, I'll stay but don't expect me to do everything I was doing, you're going to have to kill the ones you don't want. I will train them but you do the dirty work."
There was no way I would stay and kill more of my kind for her because she didn't find them useful. That was cruelty in its worst kind. They were children in my eyes. Babies. I'd also heard of human mothers killing their children and that was what this was like to me. Maria created them and also wanted them gone if they weren't useful. It reminded me of when Kings would kill off their wives for not being able to bear boys. How humans and creatures alike could murder something, someone they're supposed to love? It gave me an insight to who they really were and how they loved- not at all. It would always be a mystery to me how anyone could be so cruel.
"As long as you train them, I will find someone to dispose of them. Deal?"
As long as I didn't have to do it,it was fine by me.
~Nineteen Months Later~
The last year and a half or so had been utterly depressing. I would never understand how I lived the way I did. Maria held her end of the bargain for eight months. It started with one bad newborn that she wanted gone right away and the person who did the job was feeding. She didn't want to do it so, I had to. Percilla's screams and pleads will forever be imbedded into my soul. I would remember the panic, the agony, the pain, the guilt (which she shouldn't have been feeling) and most of all the self disgust. I'd never felt a Vampire at it's death feel self disgust. She was sickened with what she was, every time she fed she wept and sobbed tearlessly for the lost life that could have been avoided. She was kind, graceful, and gentle. She didn't like what she was. She detested it with every fibre of her being.
I would forever have a soft spot in my heart for her, I didn't love her, per se, but it was the closest I had been with anyone since I was human, and I couldn't remember much of my human life. After Maria had me dispose of Percilla she kept pleading with me to dispose of others, saying I was the most human about it and she didn't wish to see them suffer any more than they had to. I caved.
"Kerina, Caroline, Jose, Maggie, George, Marcus, Mario, and Lilly need to be disposed of by Thursday, that gives you four days. Got it?"
"We could keep Mario, he still has two weeks untill his one year mark."
"No, his strength is already gone. He's lost his newborn touch. He is also very disobedient. Get. Rid. Of. Them. All of them!"
Mario still had his strength, maybe she was upset with him because she is attracted to him and he turned her away. It really hurt her pride when he did that, I mused as I made my way to George's room.
I knocked on his door and it opened a crack, George was a shy child around the early age of just fourteen. I could feel his fear towards me. I eased it by taking it in and sending him wave of peacefulness. I hated to not let them feel what they wanted to feel but it was necessary to get them to come with me.
"Hi, George. Mind taking a walk with me?"
"S..Sure" He stuttered out.
We started our walk in silence. George never was one to be able to hold a conversation. He kept to himself.
"Your getting rid of me aren't you?"
"Be merciful, I don't want to much pain please."
No more fear was emanating from him. He was feeling his own peace. I was stunned into silence as I pondered why he would be at peace before death. I may be able to feel others emotions but that didn't mean I was never surprised by them. George was one of a kind. I hated to have to dispose of him but I couldn't see a way out of it. When we got about twenty miles out into the desert we stopped. I was just about to tear his head from his body when I could smell others. It was a familiar smell. Peter and Charlotte! But they had left ages ago, what were they doing back?
"What are you doing back Peter? You know if Maria found out she would have yours and Charlotte's heads!"
"Yeah, yeah. We came to get you! You're coming with us. We know you will love it! Who's that?"
"This is George. Do you mind if he comes with us? I really don't want to dispose of him..."
"Of course not!" Charlotte piped in.
I really didn't like the idea of leaving but this was the only time frame I would have time to leave, before Maria took notice. I didn't know why I hadn't done it before, maybe I just wasn't as ready as I thought I was. Now, with Peter and Charlotte here I was as ready as I could be. I think it had to do with their feelings as well.
"Where are we going?" George asked. His curiosity was burning at him, he couldn't contain his question any longer. I hadn't really thought of where we were going to go, I was still too dumbfounded about Peter and Charlotte showing up to get my thought process to get much further than leaving.
"We'll explain as we run. We should get going before Maria comes looking for you two and we need to find cover before day breaks,." Peter announced.
I had to agree with him. Plus,I really didn't care where we were going at the moment, as long as it was away from here.
We started off and when we were about a hundred and eighty some miles away with no signs of being followed Peter started to tell us about where we were going.
"We are going to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. We found an abandoned wear house out there that's roughly ninety years old. We have been staying there. It looks like it used to be used to manufacture tooth paste. We aren't sure. Its completely empty save for some machines that are in pieces. We went there when we left and got some clothes but that's all. We really haven't been doing much except reading and just enjoying each others company. We thought you would like it there since every now and again I would get a dose of your longing to leave. It was only when I spoke to you about leaving, although you refused to go with me. "
"Well I didn't feel the need to leave without letting Maria know. When I tried to tell her about a year and a half ago she wouldn't let me leave. I didn't realize how frightening she could be until then, hell, I didn't know I was even afraid of her, or death 'til she threatened me. I know I could have left but I didn't want her to follow me and leave me no choice but to kill her if she decided to come with the newborns. I'm not that cruel."
"Yeah, I understand. Still if it were me I would have left anyway, you should have not told her but you have too much respect for her to do that. I didn't apparently." Peter chuckled lightly at the end of his statement.
We were going to run until the sun showed its light. At first sight we would find somewhere to wait until the sun went down since we would most likely be in a sunny place, we didn't need to risk detection.
I started to wonder, would I find what was missing? Could I find something to complete me? From what Peter was saying they didn't do much of anything and that seemed boring to me. Granted I did prefer being bored over war. We were in a forest somewhere, I had lost track of where we were. It was beautiful. The viberant green of the leaves had a hint of yellow and brown to them since it was close to Autumn. Humans couldn't see the coloring when it first started but I could see it. The rich brown and red of the ground that seemed to pulse under me. The spider webs that had intricate designs on them fascinated me, and the insects and animals were unique. The centipedes that were sometimes brown, sometimes red and there was even a yellowish one. The butterflies that were every size shape and color, I had yet to see a set of wings on a butterfly that had the exact same shape. A deer crossed our path with the distinct bounce that meant it was a mule dear. had me mesmerized by its beauty.
The branches of the trees caressed my skin much like satin. I could hear the birds chirping with glee in the early morning hour. The dark sheet above us twinkled with tiny spots of light, the moon full and glazed over with an orange light. It was breath takingly beautiful. I hadn't noticed just how peaceful being in the woods could be.
My mind raced with thoughts of how much good had come out of leaving Maria. I could be happy! I could find a mate...maybe. I could live without the horrors of murdering my own kind. I could live without committing the atrocities of war. I was already feeling the freedom and contentment I was looking for.
My new life had begun.