Holy shit it's been nearly a year.
Sorry guys, if anybody remembers who I am. :P I've been pretty busy lately. But anyway, here! It's not much, but it's the best I can do right now; kinda short on time and I'm also pretty sleepy.
Did you miss me?
Akaya's mouth hung open. Everything had happened in a blur, and somehow he was watching his psychotic older sister call Yukimura by his first name, and his psychotic fiancé call Emi nee-chan.
His first reaction was something akin to "AHHHHHH!"
His second reaction was, "Well, golly, this kinda sucks. My psycho sis and psycho fiancé are in the same room and they probably both have weapons."
His third and final reaction reverted back to "AHHHHHH!"
(And somewhere, in the back of his mind, he also thought, "Ooh, shooting lessons. Those will come in handy in a week or so, when we're walking down the altar. I wonder if machine guns are easy to conceal.")
"You—what—I—no—this—nee-chan," he whimpered, deciding it was better to side with his psychotic older sister. At least they were blood-related. The lesser of two evils. And the both of them were rather evil. This was really not turning out to be a good day—not with the way Marui was offering popcorn to the petrified witnesses and chuckling like this was all a good soap opera. Akaya ground his teeth and vowed to ally with both Emi and Yukimura someday, and annihilate the singer. Stupid Marui. It was all Marui's fault. He wouldn't have gotten himself into this if Niou hadn't said he'd put Marui on cleaning duty. If Marui hadn't told him to "act gay". If Marui hadn't made out with him in front of celebrities. If Marui hadn't forced him to sing. If—if—if—!
Emi wrapped her arm around him, consolingly, and stared down into his eyes the way only a psychotic older sister could. "It's okay," she cooed. "Emi-nee-chan's here now."
(It occurred to Akaya that it was rather freaky how similar Emi was to Yukimura. Dating your sister. Ew.)
(Actually, just . . . dating a guy. Ew.)
"Oh, Akaya," Yukimura whispered, sounding hurt. He looked up at him, adoringly, and smiled the way only a psychotic boyfriend could. "You'd pick her over me?" His voice was breathy and quiet, and the other partygoers melted into a collective puddle of goo.
Akaya was torn between smacking himself in the face and smacking Yukimura upside the head. He chose to do neither, since the former would be rather painful and the latter would… probably lead Yukimura to cause him some (read: apocalyptic) pain, too. "It's not that, per se," 'cause nee-chan is my sister and everything and there's just so much going on and…" Akaya rambled, one word after the other, bouncing out before he could reel them in.
"Haha," his words said. "We're inadvertently dissing Yukimura and he can't do a thing to us because we're soundwaves and we don't have a body, but you do, Akaya, and he'll make your life miserable and we will watch. Haha. Haha."
Damn you, Akaya thought back. He plastered a bright, fake, shiny-hard-plastic sort of smile on his face. "I could never choose between the two of you," he lied.
That's not a lie.
He really couldn't choose between them.
If only because choosing one would mean not choosing the other . . .
. . . and that meant Death.
Bloody, Violent Death.
Yes, with capitalized letters. Very important to add the capitalized letters.
It was patented, too.
Emi's grip around him tightened.
Yukimura's eyes narrowed.
Akaya slipped away and casually went to get a drink. Or five. Hundred.
Marui cackled evilly.
This meant war.
They were huddled in a room, the door shut. The sounds of the party drifted in, but all Akaya could think about was losing his virginity to fifty-something people.
Cue terrified shudder.
"You're not worried at all about the fifty-some, or whatever it is?" Akaya fretted.
Marui snorted. "Unlike some people, I'm not a virgin."
Akaya gasped and kicked him in the shin. "We're at a party, jackass! Have some class!"
"Holy fuck, ow," Marui hissed. "Is it my fault you refuse to screw people? That's the whole bloody point of a higher education, you know. College equals sex with strangers. Stupid."
"Are you deaf?"
"Psh, no. How could I sing if I were deaf?"
Akaya paused. "First of all, you could. Second of all . . . no!"
"Anyway," Marui said, like Akaya wasn't having a quarter life crisis, "My agent says he's not sure if I should sing this peppy love song, or if I should sing another R&B thing. There's going to be a music video for it and everything, but I have to decide on a song, first. What do you think? 'Love Like Woe' by The Ready Set, or 'Break Your Heart' by Taio Cruz?"
Akaya gaped. "I don't care!"
Marui folded his arms in an oh-no-you-didn't sort of way. "Geez, fine! Here I am, trying to be charitable and whatever—you know what? I'm going to ask your sister." He grinned a slow, menacing grin. "Your sister's hot, you know. I'd tap that."
"She's my sister!" Akaya sputtered. "And I'm taller than you! So don't you dare!"
Marui cackled. "You know what would really be funny? If Yukimura fell for her, and dumped you. Be like, 'Akaya and Emi turned me straight.' That'd be sad. I mean, funny. But sad."
"It might work out that way; but nee-san really doesn't like him. And as long as she doesn't approve, there's no way I'll ever get married to him. Besides, it's not even legal in Japan."
"Like Yukimura couldn't drag you to Canada or something and marry you there," Marui pointed out with an eye-roll. "Speaking of Mura and Emi, where are they?"
"Hell if I know," Akaya muttered, then added, "Mura? When did you start calling him that?"
"It was either that or Yuki," Marui said defensively. "And Yuki's girly. And I didn't want to call him Seiichi, since he's your boyfriend and all. Wouldn't want you to jump me, or something." He cackled again.
"I will hurt you," Akaya told him seriously. "I will hurt you. And if Sanada thinks you're pressuring Yukimura into being unfaithful or something, he'll hurt you. And that'll be way, way worse."
Marui raised his hands defensively. "Chill, chill! I won't touch your fiancé."
Akaya moaned and buried his face in his hands.
"Aka-chaaaaaaan," a voice sang. Akaya's head shot up. "Are you busy, darling dearest?"
"Nee-chan," he greeted wearily. "Hi." He got up to open the door, but Marui beat him to it, bowing dramatically and murmuring in a low, seductive tone, "Good evening."
Emi giggled. "What a charming friend you have, Aka-chan!" She looked fantastically eager. "Is he good with knives?"
"I'm a fast learner," Marui assured. "But yeah, I have a little prior knowledge with knives."
"Cooking doesn't count," Akaya deadpanned.
Marui turned almost as red as his hair. "Shut up!"
"A man who cooks," Emi said approvingly. "I like your taste." Her eyes narrowed. "Aka-chan, why didn't you date this young man, instead of…" She trailed off, but it was obvious whom she was speaking of. Then she burst into delirious laughter and added, "Then again, I didn't know you swung that way, my dear! It's my personal opinion you should go back to chasing girls and leave a few hot guys to me—or I might just have to become a lesbian. Never slept with a chick though. I think I'd have to practice a little…"
Marui's expression implied that he wouldn't mind at all and could he pretty please watch—
Akaya kicked him in the shin.
"I would love it if you could teach me the art of knife-throwing," Marui offered charmingly, hiding his pained grimace very well.
"And I would love to teach you," Emi responded smoothly, holding out a hand. Marui brought his lips to it with the practiced ease of a well-established flirt. Akaya took one look at the incestuous scene—Marui was his brother, goddamnit, and Emi his sister, and to hell with their respective hotness—and forcibly dragged Marui away.
Akaya flung open the door to a random room, Marui's collar still in his hands, the redhead cursing at him halfheartedly but mostly laughing which only pissed Akaya off more—
—and promptly saw Niou, half undressed, with two girls laying next to him. His former boss arched an eyebrow and inquired coolly, "Do you mind?"
Akaya's face was even redder than Marui's hair, but the redhead in question just grinned, answered, "I knew there was a reason I looked up to you!" and left Niou in peace, taking Akaya with him.
"That was—that—that—" Akaya stuttered, staggering down the hall. "I can't un-see that!"
"Burn the picture into your mind," Marui said approvingly. "This is the epitome of a true party." He smiled a slow smile. "I'd say this is the part where the party gets interesting."
Akaya hated it when Marui was right.
They were walking past the (suspiciously locked) rooms when Akaya halted. Marui walked straight into him, then scowled and demanded, "What the hell are you doing? We're gonna miss the party! Business deals and stuff, remember? The whole point of this thing?"
"Listen," Akaya hissed.
"To what?" Marui demanded.
"Is that—is that someone crying?"
Marui paused and pressed his ear against the door. "I think so," he whispered at last. "What—?"
Someone—a young man—was sobbing hysterically.
And then there was the sound of delirious laughter.
"What's going on in there?" Akaya whispered back, horrified.
The hysterical laughter increased in volume, louder and louder and louder and louder and then—
And then Marui fell into the room and faceplanted on the floor.
Because someone opened the door.
And Akaya was left staring into the brilliant eyes of a switchblade-smiling Fuji Syusuke.