Disclaimer : Twilight is not mine.
To Me, You're an Angel
Point of view: Edward
"People who are homeless are not social inadequates. They are people without homes."
I could describe my life in three words: a fucking hell.
I am a twenty five year old bum who has no home and only owns the clothes that are on my back. I would describe myself as invisible. No one seemed to notice me until... she did. Her big tired eyes glanced at my direction and looked into my own. I can't remember the last time a stranger looked me in the eye, let alone smiled at me. To people I look dangerous, maybe they see a fucking big flashing sign on my forehead that says, 'stay away'.
I can't help my appearance, I live on the streets of Chicago. If I don't look somewhat alarming others will finish me off. I can't even fucking count how many fights I have been in over a bag of food or over the only jacket I have. If you run into another street inhabiter, fucking turn around before something happens because something will.
I can't afford to get my own place, but I do have a job. It doesn't pay much, but at least it's something and it gets me food and water. I work for my cousins Emmet and Jasper. They own a small fast food restaurant in the bad part of Chicago. It's not my favorite place, but I have no choice. No one else is willing to hire a homeless that looks like he might be a murderer. During the night I usually sleep in alleys or not sleep at all. Being on the streets since the age of sixteen really gives you time to learn how not to sleep when your body is craving it.
My father passed away when I was six from a brain tumor. My mother didn't have the money to pay for the treatment or medical insurance, so my father had no choice, but to let the disease destroy him on day at a time. I remember fucking crying for days, especially after seeing how my mother got. She looked awful and would get sick thinking about my father. She blamed herself for his death and when I was eight, she took her own life, leaving me with a note that explains why she couldn't stay on this earth anymore. I do not hate her for what she did, my father was the love of her life. I guess I could say she loved my father to death. I found her on the kitchen floor after I got home from school. Her wrists were sliced, blood pooling around her body. I have seen so much shit in my young life that when I remember my mothers body, the provocative image in my mind doesn't affect me anymore. My mind and body are now immune to feeling sick when I see death. My body definitely reacts differently than others would.
So here I am, after five different foster homes and 17 years of being on my own I still am the same little shit I was. I hate being social and I don't have any friends. The only people I know that I talk to are Emmet and Jasper who have tried getting me out of the streets and living with them ever since I was sixteen, but there is no fucking way I was going to live off of somebody else's money. No. Fucking. Way.
I looked down at my torn shoes, fuck, I'm going to need to get some new ones. It's starting to get cold outside and when it starts snowing, I know I'll have snow in them. I really need to stop going to that diner and spending my money. I try not to go everyday, but theres no way I can stay away for more than two days. That's where she works, the one that smiles at me, the one that doesn't give a fuck about my appearance.
I wonder if she can tell I'm homeless.
The first time I ate there was an accident. I didn't mean to go eat somewhere that would cost me more than a dollar, but I was starving for a somewhat real mean. The diner is kind of shity, so I knew I could order a cheap meal that would fill me up pretty good. I walked in and sat at one of the tables in the back when I caught her eyes. The were big and brown, but something was wrong, they were sad, almost dead. She stood at the cashier's register, giving someone their receipt. Her long wavy hair was a beautiful shade of mahogany. I have never seen that specific shade of brown before, it was gorgeous. Her skin looked velvety soft and was almost translucent. This beautiful woman was almost as white as me. She looked petite, but I couldn't see the rest of her body, it was behind the desk. The day I saw her was the first day I felt human. I got these tingly feelings whenever the corner of my eye caught her form and my heart hummed faster than ever. I got excited when she would look at me because her gaze was different, it was full of love and almost held concern.. That beautiful brunette was so fucking fascinating that I almost choked on my scrambled eggs when her full red lips smiled at me.
After the first sight, I went to that diner every day of the week. I didn't go on Saturday or Sunday because she didn't work those days. I moved myself from the alley to behind a bus stop that was by the diner. I watched her come to work every day and then watched her leave when it closed. It really bothered me that she left so late at night. Her red truck was always parked in front of the diner's doors, but still, if a guy wanted her, he could probably just take her. This area is dangerous, even for someone like me.
I saw her almost everyday for the last two weeks.
I looked at the watch Emmet bought me for my birthday. I really didn't fucking want him to spend money on me, but he did and he said he couldn't return it because he had engraved my name on the back. I had to accept it. It was almost seven forty five, which meant I only had fifteen more minutes until I go and see the angel that smiles at me. I sat behind the but bus stop, watching a little boy play with a ball, his mother yelling at him to stop or he won't get ice cream. The little boy stopped and sat on the bench in front of me. He looked at me and then quickly looked away.
"Mommy, why is that guy so scary?" He sat closer to his mother. She turned around and looked at me sitting on a cardboard on the grown. Her face turned into disgust, like she was better than me.
"Baby, don't look at that man. He is no good," she told her son and sat up to go sit farther away. I didn't fucking care. I was used to this kind of treatment. Obviously, if you live on the streets, that means your automatically "bad" person. Everyone that's not homeless seems to think that. I have never stole, murdered, or ever hurt somebody in any way, unless I had to defend myself of course. I have met plenty of people living here that were honest, good, souls. That lady is a fucking bitch. I looked away and decided it was time to go have my dinner.
The familiar sound of the door bell rang when I opened the entrance to the diner. I went straight to the table I sat in everyday. That table was never taken, it was almost as though people knew it was mine. My heart was thumping against my chest and I thought it was going to rip my skin and lend in my angel's hands.
Fuck, she's not mine.
I quietly groaned and waited for the waitress. I was afraid to look up and see her today. I loved watching her work and blush every time some fucker tried to hit on her, but today felt different. I could almost feel her sadness radiating from across the room. I snuck a peak at her and I gasped, she was beautiful, but so down. What happened to her? She caught me staring and smiled, I quickly looked away. By the way, that was smile number twenty three. I didn't want her to think I watch her. Fuck, she probably thinks I'm some kind of stalker. The waitress came up to my table and asked for my order. I learned that her name was Jessica, she worked here as much as my little brunette did.
"I'll have what I usually get with a glass of water, please."
"No, problem. That would be just a few minutes," she said and walked away. I like Jessica, but sometimes she is a little too forward. The first day I was here she wrote her number down on a napkin and gave it to me. I didn't even bother. I left the napkin on the table. I don't want her... I want the girl that works the cashier. Today is day number eleven that I see her and she looks like heaven. She did something different with her hair, it was curled into light ringlets that flowed down her small back. Her lips were red, oh how I wish to kiss those luscious lips and suck them into my mouth. Her face was so beautiful and soft, she doesn't need makeup. She was naturally alluring.
My food finally came and stopped me from acting like such an idiot. I was practically ogling her from across the room. I bet she was uncomfortable, her blush was the bright color of pink. Did she know how fucking bad I wanted to talk to her and feel her? I can't... I don't deserve her.
She deserves someone who can take care of her and provide a home. I can never do that.
Of course Jessica noticed my staring and raised an eye brow at me.
"What?" I asked.
"What were you staring at?"
"If you're staring at Bella, forget it. She turns down any guy that asks her out," she replied rolling her eyes and walking back to the kitchen. So her name is Bella. God, everything about her was beautiful, even her name. I tried saying her name in my head.
God... she will be the death of me! A total stranger will destroy me.
I began eating my food when Bella looked back at me and eyed my water. Her eyes got angry and she stalked back to the kitchen. What was she doing? While she walked to the kitchen, I caught a glimpse of her body. Her physic was fucking perfection. I wonder what it would feel like to hold her against me, to feel the warmth that would radiates from her tiny form. I want her.
Today, she wore a beautiful midnight blue dress that looked expensive. I hope she didn't have a date later. She is supposed to only be mine. I took another bite and groaned in frustration, when I realized two teenagers grabbed my jacket off of the table and began messing with it.
"Hey, throw it to me," one of the fatter kid said.
"Come on, you homeless pussy, come take your jacket, if you could even understand what we are saying!" Another one said and all three of them began laughing.
"Why did you get the cheapest meal? Oh, yeah, you are a good-for-nothing homeless. We see you sleeping outside everyday." I just ignored them and tried to get my jacket back, but they were fucking tossing it to each other, then I felt someone behind me and smelt strawberries and vanilla. I didn't order dessert? I looked behind me and Bella was standing there, looking fucking pissed with a cup of coffee in her hand. She sat the coffee next to my plate and stood in front of me, her hand accidentally brushing mine. A sock of electricity ran through my body. It ignited my soul and drove my heart into full blast beating mode.
Fuck, touch me again.
What was she doing standing in front of me? Her hand was stretched out, waiting for the idiots to put my jacket in her hand.
"Give me the jacket," she said sternly. The three boys looked confused then started laughing.
"Give me the fucking jacket!" She shouted and their stupid jaws dropped. She was stiff, her back almost touching my chest and I ached to take a step closer and push myself against her. She smelt like strawberries and vanilla. It was fucking addicting.
I lowered my head and whispered in her ear, "you really don't have to do that, I can handle them myself." She gasped at the closeness of my body and relaxed a little. Her neck looked so soft...
Don't touch, Edward.
She looked back at the boys and they flinched. Bella is really angry, but why would she care so much about getting my jacket back?
"I'm going to count to three, if the jacket is not placed in my hand by three, I will find it that you will not be welcomed in here again and I will track down your parents and tell them about all the plans you have about going to parties and fucking girls. I'm sure they would love to hear that information about their little boys," Bella said taking a deep breath. She began counting.
And the jacket was in her hand with the boys walking out the door with red faces. She clutched the jacket to her chest and turned around to face me. She smiled that amazing smile. Number twenty four.
"I'm really sorry about those boys, they sometimes come in here around the afternoon and are really annoying. I don't know why they are here so late. Are you alright?" Bella asked putting her hand on my wrist. I gasped, her hand is so soft and warm.
"I'm okay, are you okay?" She nodded her head and gave my jacket back. I pulled it on and smelt it. It smelt like Bella. People were still watching us. We were standing too close, but I didn't give a fuck.
"You really shouldn't be talking to me, I'm not good for you," I tried warning her. She rolled her beautiful eyes and extended her hand to me.
"I'm Bella by the way. I see you everyday," she said smiling. I took her hand and held it longer than I should have. I let her go and felt the same tingles I felt when she touched my wrist a minute ago.
"Edward. Edward Cullen," she smiled at my name, but her eyes were still sad.
"Are you okay, Bella? Did those boys hurt you?"
She gasped in surprise. I bet she didn't know I could feel how she feels and notice when she's hurting. She did hide her feelings pretty well though.
"No, I'm okay. It's just, my truck broke this morning and it's in the shop. I'm really hoping it won't be expensive to replace whatever broke."
Oh, so that's why I didn't see her truck today. When she arrived to work this morning a yellow porsche dropped her off, a tiny woman driving it.
"Oh, I'm sorry about that."
She smiled, nodding her head and looked at the coffee on my table.
"Oh, Edward, I got you coffee. I noticed you look tired and I thought it might help. Don't worry about paying for it. It's covered," she said and pointed at the cup. The way my name rolled on her tongue made me shiver. I wanted to hear her say it again. I nodded and thanked her. She walked back to the cashiers register and helped a customer. I finished my food and for a minute I felt like I could make her mine, but then remembered that I'm no good for her.
I'm a loser and she, she is a goddess.
I walked up to pay for my food and was drawn into that scent again. I never really walked up to the cashier's register because I never needed any change back, but today I did. I gave Bella the crumpled five dollar bill. She took it and gave me my change. I wanted to look at her forever. I did not want to leave. How will she get home tonight? She doesn't have her car. I lost track of the time and noticed that it was almost closing time. I was so fucking worried about Bella getting home safe, so I had to ask.
"Um, how will you be getting home if your truck is broken?"
"I have to take the bus."
I can't have Bella walking around these streets alone, especially at this time. I thought for a minute and took a deep breath. I know I should stay away from her, but I just can't. I'm a selfish creature, I crave her company.
"Let me walk you to the bus stop, that's the least I could do to repay you for the coffee."
She smiled and nodded, "okay."
"I'll wait for you outside," I nodded to the door.
"Okay, give me a minute. I'll grab my jacket and meet you." She walked to the back of the diner and I headed outside. I walked away from the door so I wasn't in the way of people. I looked up at the sky and noticed how cloudy it is. I'll have to go over Emmet's for tonight. It looks like it will rain pretty hard.
I saw Bella walking out and she looked around, her face falling when she couldn't find me. Did she actually want to see me too? I walked over, standing behind her and putting my hand on her shoulder. She jumped, turning around while her hands clutched her throat. I didn't mean to frighten her. A man that was getting into his car yelled out to Bella.
"Hey, miss, is that jerk bothering you?"
Bella looked angry again and shouted back, "No, he is not bothering me and he is not a jerk!"
She rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand, holding it, and dragging me away from that fucker. Bella's hand stayed on mine the entire walk to the stop. It was so small, but held onto mine tightly. I smiled to myself as we walked together, other guys on the street eyeing me. I gave them a dirty look when they glance at my Bella. We got to the stop right in time for her to get on. She let go of my hand and I instantly felt the emptiness. Our had hands had fit together so well. I looked at my hand and tried to see whatever it was what was burning my skin and making it tingle like that. I saw nothing. Bella noticed what I did and blushed. Fuck, I love that blush.
Bella's voice was officially my favorite thing to listen to, especially when she said my name like that.
"Goodnight, Bella." She got on the bus and it disappeared into the darkness.
My love, obsession, and possession of Bella began with a smile. That's all it took for me to fall deep and hard, to be... addicted. Right now the best thing about me is Bella. I have never been in love and now that I know what love is, it's because of her. I hope she notices that every time I smile at her it's a form of love, a gift to her from my heart.
Be safe, Bella... until next time.
What did you think? Bella is too much for Edward to ignore, he wants her. =]
Reviews keep me writing faster! =]
Thanks for reading.