Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or the songs.

Note: I hope I got Blitzwing's accent right.

On days like this, Starscream wondered why he wanted to lead the Decepticons in the first place.

It certainly wasn't for the entertainment.

Blackarachnia dropped the energon cube she had been sipping and turned to face the second-in-command with a glare that could have rivaled Megatron's.

"Shut. Him. Up."


Said Decepticon was racing through the mining tunnels, screaming about a One-Eyed-one-Horned-Flying-Purple-People-Eater. Quite on purpose, Blitzwing skidded to a halt just before he was crashed into Starscream.

"Hey, 'Screamy!" Random cheered. "'Ave jou zeen Luggy?"

"Well what do you think?"The Seeker screamed. "No one has seen Lugnut since you started screeching about 'Purple People Eaters!"

"Jou aft-head." Blitzwing pouted. "Itz intended az a compliment! He vas a von eyed, von 'orned flying purple people eater! Von eyed, von 'orned purple people eater, zure looks strange to meee!"

"Blitzwing," Blackarachnia said calmly. "Where are Hothead and Icy?"

"I gave zem za day off! Itz myyy day today!" the jack-o-lantern cackled.

Starscream shut his optics down a nanokilik in case he succumbed to hitting the triple-changer over his head. He would not go into an outrage and attack him, he would not-

"Blitzwing," Megatron said calmly, walking into the room. "What is the meaning of this?"

The triple changer grinned mischievously, which he always did. "I'm singin'."

"Please desist. You're giving Starscream a processor ache."

"He is NOT!" the jet argued opening his optics. "I can handle all the singing that malfunction can throw at me!"

Megatron gave a rare smile. "Blitzwing, you have my permission to sing all you want, whenever you want, and as loud as you want, to Starscream."

With this Blitzwing cheered madly, before beginning a chorus of Pop Goes the Weasel.

"Zats da vay da money goes…pop goes da veasel!"

At this point Lugnut crept in, his single optic locked on Blitzwing, who had abandoned weasels and had moved on to a song he had had stuck in his CPU for megacycles, but could never find the right time to sing…

Starscream was ignoring the triple changer and had his CPU on beating the slag out of the Decepticon overlord for the second time that morning.

"Jou've got za touch! Jou've got za power! Jah!"" for emphasis, he threw an energon cube at Starscream, which bounced off of his head and hit the wall.

"After all iz said an' done, jou've neva walked, jou've neva run, jou're a vinner! Jou've got za moves, you know za strength, break za rulez, take za heet, jou're nobodie's fool! Jou're at jou're best vhen za goin' geeettts rough!" Blitzwing jumped onto the table.

Jou've got za touch! Jou've got za power! Vhen all 'ellz breaking loose, jou'll be ridin' ze eye of za stooorm!"

Starscream worked his way from under the pile of energon cubes Megatron had tossed him in.

"I never understood if you never walk, and you never run, why that makes you a winner."

Blackarachnia and Megatron shrugged. "Human songwriters. It rhymed. It seemed to fit. It was twenty-plus years ago. Drop it."

"But it-"

"Silence Starscream!" a blast made sure of his absolute silence. "No dissing 'The Touch."

In the repair bay, Starscream was plagued by two Decepticons, one triple changer who sang 'Dare' all through the visit, and one overlord who only said 'I told you we should have brought Astrotrain and Octane.'

Yes, sometimes Starscream wanted nothing more than to be a second-in-command.