Gia's Rambles: A very quick one shot. I haven't really edited it much yet. But I'll work through it when I have more time and probably finesse it a little bit more. I just wanted to know if it was worth either continuing or polishing to its full potential...If it has potential...hmmmm

Edit:I can't believe I spent forever staring at Garrus in game and got the colour of his eyes wrong. Kicking myself. But then, when I wrote this it had been a while since I'd played ME. All fixed now!

There were very few things Shepard could ever really find to complain about. She couldn't complain about her past, because she had come to accept it, and it had made her what she was.

She couldn't complain about the war, because she was doing what she could to help the people she wanted to protect. She couldn't complain about her crew or the politicians she had to deal with, because as a Spectre, she had almost complete control of everything around her. That and she respected her crew as friends.

But there were two things she would complain about, and they were possibly the most niggly little things that could ever be brought up by a Spectre so she often didn't bother.

1. The food aboard the Normandy. It was crap. End of story.

2. The constant muscle aches and pains that came from being in military pressure armour all day.

Shepard sighed and rubbed her neck as she bent over Jokers seat, watching the universe rush by.

"You alright Commander? You look beat" Shepard snorted and smiled down at her pilot fondly.

"Just hungry." Joker nodded companionably, but didn't take it any further. If you knew Shepard you would know that she rarely ate anything but tablet food on the Normandy. Even though the tablets gave the illusion of a meal, nothing could beat a good steak.

"Were about to dock at the Citadel Commander, anything you want to say to the crew." Shepard rubbed her neck again and lent a little forward into the ready com-link.

"Everyone behave, you may have the next 24 hours to yourselves, but I want you all back, agile and alive when we head out again" Joker chuckled and cut the link, throwing a smile at his commander.

As a Spectre, Shepard had demanded her crew to be allowed a temporary respite from duties from the council. They had been obligated to say yes, due to the most resent unpleasant mission that had been forced upon the only human Spectre.

Everyone on the Normandy had sworn never to speak of that mission again.

"So, what are you planning to do with your leave?" Joker asked suddenly, tilting his head up to Shepard.


"Oh…I won't lie, that's pathetic commander" Shepard nodded, unwilling to openly express just how lame she knew it was. But she had nothing better to do. She didn't have a lover, or a family to visit, and she didn't really feel like hijacking any of her crews newly found free time.

"What about you?" She asked, trying to half change the topic. Joker grinned his little boy grin and wiggled his eyebrows. Shepard thought it might be better not to know.

"I should go" She said quickly, patting his shoulder and hurrying away from her pilot. Despite their rather harsh beginnings, Shepard had finally managed to convince Joker that she didn't think any less of him because of his condition. It had sparked a friendship of sorts between them, and she had a lot of respect for the man.

Her stomach growled and Shepard decided she would add eating to her list of things to do while off duty. Maybe she would head to that new food bar in the Wards. Maybe she would try the new Turian run restaurant Garrus had mentioned.


His name made her smile. Garrus, the Turian who had said he would give his life to protect her. Well, more specifically, he had said he would give his life to serve his commanding officer. But it was almost the same thing. Shepard rubbed the bridge of her nose and scolded herself.

When it came to Garrus, she seemed to find herself overanalysing his words. Overanalysing his body language, his facial expressions, the way he would act towards her.

This was odd for a woman who had always read people with military discipline.

"Commander Shepard…" Speak of the devil, Shepard recognised his voice instantly. The way he seemed to enunciate her name with more fondness than a crew member should, the soft rumble that he always spoke in, with the higher pitched more human voice laced through it. Garrus's voice was very hard to miss, at least to her ears.

"Commander Shepard, may I speak with you" Shepard turned and met Garrus's eyes. Electric, blue, alien eyes. Sometimes those eyes could be scary. But his brow was furrowed slightly, and his expression twisted into something of concern, so his eyes seemed less scary.

"Of course, what can I do for you Garrus?" His mandibles twitched into a half smile, and he tilted his head to one side, eyes flickering along the empty corridor. He always seemed to smile like that when she said his name. At least when they were having a private conversation.

"I have a confession to make commander. You see, unlike many of the crew I have very little to do outside this ship…I was hoping I might be able to burden you for a while tonight, maybe we could have some decent food"

Shepard wasn't taken back at all. It wasn't uncommon for her squad members and herself to have a meal together when they docked. In fact, that was basically standard. But with the extra time off, most of her combat crew were retreating to family or friends in the Citadel area.

"Sure, that would be nice." 'less pathetic' jokers voice echoed in her head and she smiled slightly. No doubt the pilot would be proud of the fact that she had made plans.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have just docked, please make your calm and orderly way from the ship…then tear this place apart!" Shepard smiled as Jokers voice dominated the air space. She would get angry with him later.

"Shall we commander?" Shepard turned her attention back to Garrus and nodded, taking point as they meandered towards ships main docking port.

Dinner with Garrus was surprisingly easy to get thought. They talked continuously about missions and pasts, what they wanted to do when they left the service, what they hated and what they liked.

The food was amazing, but then, next to the slop served on the Normandy intergalactic road kill would look like 5 star cuisine.

"So, are we eating dessert too? Or do you have business to attend to?" Shepard chuckled at Garrus as he lent back in his chair and smiled.

"I'm on leave Garrus, I have nothing to do at all…" Shepard smiled and laid her fingers on the table top "I have dedicated my life to the Alliance, I don't have anything else outside missions and firearms." She tapped in her dessert order to the tables computer. "Since I lost my family in the raids, I've had very little to do with spare time. So I tend to avoid it" Garrus mimicked her sad smile and patted her hand across the table.

This action took her by surprise and Shepard had to take a moment to compose herself. His touch seemed electric against her hand, and his skin was incredibly hot. She had never noticed that before.

"Have you ever thought of finding a man? Settling down?" Shepard took a breath and met Garrus' eyes. He had said it in an off handed way, but something about his facial expression stopped her. He looked…truly interested, like her answer to this question could lead to another, more important question she didn't know about.

There she went over analyzing things again.

"That's an incredibly personal question don't you think?" She stated after a moment, staring at her overly pale hands against the black tabletop. Garrus snorted, something she had never heard him do, and corrected himself.

"I'm sorry commander, I've heard your species is capable of feeling desire for someone of the same sex. Maybe I should rephrase my question to include that strange anomaly…Have you ever thought about settling down with another person, commander" Shepard, despite herself, laughed and looked at her companion with disbelief.

"Thank you for your consideration Garrus but I'm not one of those humans. I just try not to look to the future too much. And what do you mean 'my race'? are you telling me Turians don't have gay couples" Garrus smiled at her and shrugged

"No. Not really. I suppose the only thing that comes close to your 'gay' couples for my race, would be looking to an entirely different species…but that does happen quite often. In fact, because Turians are so immersed in Citadel Space and the surrounding colonies, its not uncommon for us to find life mates that are a different species…even saying…its still rather odd" Shepard raised an eyebrow

"If a turian finds a human companion then, how do you reproduce?" Garrus looked away a bit, mandibles twitching.

"That's an incredibly personal question don't you think?" He said after a pause. Shepard felt a blush rise in her cheeks and cleared her throat

"Right, of course, sorry Garrus" Thankfully at that stage her dessert arrived and she had something to do with her hands and mouth.

Garrus didn't order dessert. So his pensive stare quickly disturbed the momentary lull in conversation. Finally, Shepard thought of something to say that would clear the stagnant air

"You said Turians find 'life mates', would that be like a human marriage?" Garrus frowned and rubbed his shoulder, leaning into the table.

"No." He began, then paused, reached over to her, and stole a forkful of her chocolate pie. "Life mate is just the closest translation we could make into English. To be a life mate goes further than marriage. You become one with the person you bond with, you are connected in a way that humans can't really understand unless you experience it."

Shepard was so shocked that he had done something so intimate by both using her fork and stealing off her plate that she only caught the last part of the conversation. She quickly formed a clumsy question in response.

"And how can you experience it" Garrus smiled almost dreamily

"Sex. When a Turian has sex with a person they want to bond with they can create a link between their persons. Its very hard to explain in English, a lot of the words we use to explain life mates doesn't exist in any other language"

Shepard frowned, suddenly curious.

"Can you explain it to me in your language then?" Garrus tilted his head in the special way he only ever did when he was around her and nodded slowly.

"You won't understand, but I will"

And he started talking.

When a Turian spoke their home language, the high pitched human voice that Shepard was used to disappeared, leaving only a low rumble that seemed to centre from deep in his chest.

His words were like seduction. They poured forward in gentle waves and lapped over Shepards ears. His eyes were intent on hers and she felt herself beginning to blush. She didn't know what he was saying but each sound he made seemed more important than the last, more sweet and addictive to her ears. He seemed to be speaking to her and only her, nothing else mattered, nothing else existed, it was just his voice, just him that was important.

Shepard found herself leaning forward, confused and excited and completely oblivious to everything but his voice as he rumbled and growled in his native tongue. Then she began to hear English words thrown into the mix, soft higher notes in his deep voice that served only to make it more alluring.

She registered some of his words. Sensual…beautiful…connection…soul.

She realised that 'bonding', becoming a Turian life mate, must be what this addictive feeling was like. This desperate need for him to reach out and touch her, to make some form of physical contact. It must feel like this somehow, like your were being drawn forward towards your mate, that you had to do everything in your power to protect this beautiful alien…this alien who served on your crew, who was your subordinate.

Shepard started. What was she doing? What just happened? She cleared her throat and Garrus stopped talking, tilting his head at her. Shepard suspected if he could, he would be raising an eyebrow.

"You're going red Commander." He muttered after a moment, stealing the last bite of her chocolate desert and chuckling. Shepard pressed her hands to her face and cleared her throat again, trying to calm herself down. What in hells name was wrong with her? Garrus was still chuckling softly to himself when he spoke next to his flustered Commander

"Don't worry Ma'am, I've heard a Turian's true voice can very easily seduce even the strongest woman, especially when talking about such a…" He paused and leant forward enough for Shepard to catch a slight glint in his black eyes "delicate subject" Shepard felt her breath hitch and she narrowed her eyes at the table top, unable to meet Garrus' obviously intent look. Dear god she was falling apart at the seams.

"I think I need a drink" She said finally.

"So…why don't Turians drink alcohol again?" Shepard asked, finishing her fourth 'Citadel Special' and watching Garrus down his fifth. He seemed to be holding up a lot better than she was. They were sitting in the corner or the bar, Shepard comfortably leaning against the wall as she sipped her way through her drinks.

"Well…I never said in the first place." Garrus said quietly "But I can tell you that this was a bad idea…a very bad idea, why did I let you talk me into this?" Shepard snorted and started on the new drink Garrus placed in front of her. Surprised when she noticed his glass had already been emptied again.

"I didn't talk you into this, I pulled rank on you." She said, trying to bring her authority voice back to her. She couldn't do it. She was a little too intoxicated. Garrus chuckled and threw back another drink.

This had been a good idea, her horrible inability to grasp control of her language skills had disappeared as soon as she had left the table. Now she felt like she was herself again, well, a little bit less controlled, but still…it was better than the soppy mess Garrus had turned her into. She was still very uncomfortable about how easy it had been for him to work her up into a state like that. Yes his voice was magical, but honestly, how ridiculous her reaction had been.

"You know commander…I shared something about myself with you. I told you about a life mate…now, I think its time for you to share something about yourself" Shepard started at the sound of Garrus's voice. He was sitting closer than she remembered, his shoulder brushing hers as he moved slightly to the music. She could have sworn he was sitting further away just a moment before.

"What would you like to know?" She asked finally, taking another drink. Garrus gave what must have been a smile.

"Anything" He was leaning into her now, his shoulder pressed against hers. Shepard wasn't sure what to do. She couldn't exactly lean away from him, she was already pressed into the wall, and on top of that she suddenly wasn't sure she wanted to lean away.

"You remember, before, when you asked me about if I wanted to marry someone and settle down?" Shepard paused, unsure if she wanted to continue.

"Yes?" She glanced at Garrus out of the corner of her eye and sighed, rubbing her neck.

"I…well, I think about it sometimes…but then I count how many enemies I have, and I count them out in my head, over and over…and I know I never could." Garrus 'hmmed' next to her, his three long fingers tapping on the table.

"But you have people to protect you" He said finally, reaching out and taking her hand briefly, squeezing it before letting it go.

There was a long pause, where neither of them said anything. But Shepard noticed Garrus was shifting almost constantly in his chair, his shoulder rubbing against hers and his hand brushing her fingers every now and again. He was acting agitated, but a smooth agitated that confused Shepard thoroughly.

"This was such a bad idea" Garrus suddenly burst out with a chuckle, shifting on his bar stool and throwing a look at his commander. The tension was instantly broken. Shepard swayed a little to the music and smiled.

"I never have bad idea's." She declared after a moment, rubbing her neck with her free hand. "I'm the first human Spectre, my plans are always well thought out…gosh my neck hurts" Garrus, who had started watching his Commander intently, narrowed an eye at her.

"Why does your neck hurt?" Shepard turned to him, there was definite concern in his voice. She smiled at him and took another sip of her drink, running her fingers through her hair.

"Its called pressure amour. Us silly little humans aren't very suited to constantly living in a pressurized environment. Its not particularly comfortable for us" she went back to working out a rather nasty knot in her neck.

"I could help you out with that if you'd like…" Garrus muttered, his lip plates suddenly very close to her ear.

"I'm a fool commander, you shouldn't trust me like this in my condition" Shepard mumbled something into her pillow and sighed, far too content with Garrus's warm hands working out the kinks in her lower back.

The trip form the bar back to the Normandy had been a quick one. Garrus had kept one hand on the small of Shepard's back the entire time. His hand was a lot bigger than most humans, and a lot hotter too. Shepard wasn't really concerned about his hand. She had drunk too much trying to keep up with Garrus to notice much outside walking straight and keeping an authoritative face when people saluted her.

The lights were off in the ship, obviously people though there was no reason to keep anything powered up on an empty ship. Shepard even had to enter her pin manually into her bedroom door to get it to open. Then she just collapsed on the bed and let Garrus make himself at home. Apparently, he intended to make good on his promise to 'help her out' with her sore neck, because almost instantly his hands started working away at her shoulders.

"Why? What condition?" Shepard purred finally, tilting her head out of the hard military pillow. The alcohol was steadily removing her control. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this drunk. No, not drunk, she was incredibly tipsy. Yes, Commander Shepard didn't get drunk.

"Because your precious human alcohol is…" His hands stopped with his words, and suddenly Garrus was whispering right into her ear, his casual clothed self nearly on top of her. "It has a very different effect on my people Commander, it is what you would call an aphrodisiac…but in a much stronger form" Shepard froze, her eyes wide as Garrus lent back from her ear and started kneading the muscles of her back again. "It essentially takes any form of…sexual or emotional desire we have for a person and amplifies it. Depending on how much we drink, it can make it nearly impossible to resist the object of our desires."

Her heart was literally going to come out of her chest, it was going to tear its way out with how fast and hard it was beating. What was Garrus going on about? Was he serious? Had she accidentally subjected him to a painful night of self controlled imprisonment?

"How much alcohol does it take to make your 'desire' irresistible?" She asked quietly, maybe she hadn't made a huge mistake, perhaps they needed to drink more than Garrus had.

"Two or three glasses tends to do it" So little, but Garrus had been downing those massive glasses like they were water. He had more self-control that Shepard could even gratify herself with. How the hell was he still here, in her room, when his body would be demanding sex? That must have been why Garrus was so determined to stay with her after they had left the bar. He must have thought sticking with her would be safer than going it alone.

Did he really think she would be able to stop him if he went charging out of here after some mystery woman he wanted to fuck? She was intoxicated and there was no way in hell she was going to shoot him.

Of course Garrus would be after another Turian, because wanting a human would be, as he had said before 'odd'. Wanting another species was wrong for any race. Shepard wondered what if would be like to look at a female Turian through Garrus's eyes and find her attractive.

Shepard frowned. He probably didn't find her attractive at all by comparison. Probably thought she was ugly.

That thought stung. Shepard wanted Garrus to find her attractive. She wanted him to think she was pretty. Not just the butch commander he had to answer too.

Her thoughts cut themselves off when a warm weight pinned her legs to the bed. Garrus was straddling her, his weight mainly supported on his knees but he was straddling her all the same. His hands were moving across her sides now, dragging the edge of her shirt up in a very accidental fashion every now and again.

Oh god.

Shepard stayed devastatingly still, tracking every movement of Garrus's hands across her lower back.

What if? What if Garrus did find her attractive?What if his aphrodisiac soaked brain wanted her? She nearly giggled at the prospect, but silenced herself. She was acting like an idiot about all of this. She needed to cool off and compose herself. She needed to get her Commander face back on and assess this situation.

Garrus had drunk a lot of what his species used like Viagra. He was obviously trying to control the urge to sleep with someone. Which could be her, but would only be her because he was sexually frustrated. She shouldn't take advantage of this situation to for fill her desires should she? That would be incredibly morally corrupt.

Garrus, apparently, wasn't going to give her a choice in his plans.

In under a second, Shepard found herself on her back, a small silver knife pressing into her stomach. Her breath caught as Garrus's bright blue eyes met hers and he smiled down at her with an aggressiveness she hadn't seen him wear outside battle.

"I've wanted this for a very long time..." He rumbled and brought the knife up in a quick jerk.

And her shirt was gone…

Apologies for any grammatical or spelling errors. Please let me know what you think. This isn't as polished as most of the work I do is, it just happened after I saw the trailer for ME2, and remembered how I always thought Garrus should have been a romance option...

Tell me what you think.

- Gia's Soul