Of Polar Bears
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A wee drabblish type affair concerning characters that do not belong to me and are forever caught in the evil machinations of E. Kripke. I hope he knows what he's doing.
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He doesn't stand a chance. He knows it now, he's suspected it for longer than he wants to admit, the evidence is overwhelming. One day he's going to agree. How can he not? He'll say it because he's weak and he's human and now it's out there just waiting for him, he'll give into it. He doesn't want to and will use everything in his rapidly decreasing arsenal to try and avoid it, but he's too far down this path and he's been on it too long. The last fragile remnants of his faith have been swept away. He has nothing left. It's like that dizzying feeling of standing on the top of a cliff and fighting the impulse to throw yourself off; it makes no sense but it's there and the longer you stand on that crumbling edge, staring into nothing, the stronger the impulse becomes until giving into it seems a blessed release.
Walking away from this cliff top is not a choice he has. There's no one there to pull him back, no one who cares. He holds the fate of the world in his unwilling hands and no one gives a crap. Funny how that works.
It's Lucifer. Lucifer wants him for his very own. Lucifer will find him and wear him down and it'll slip out. It reminds him of the old 'don't think about the polar bear' trick. As soon as the thought forms it's impossible to quash. It expands rapidly into every nook and cranny, filling the mind and the harder you try not to think about it the more firmly it takes root. He'd kill himself a thousand times over if he believed it would make any difference. Maybe he will anyway. He has nothing to lose. Nothing to gain either, which just makes the whole thing one goddamn enormous sick joke.
Perhaps he should just get it over with, do it now. Fulfill the expectations that anybody who ever meant anything has always held about him and his choices.
It's there on the tip of his tongue, he keeps trying to swallow it, suppress and deny it but one day soon he's going to say it.
He's going to say yes.