Disclaimer: I own nothing, I make no money from this (which is a shame, because it's a lot more fun than real work).

This is a drabble that popped into my head after watching Truth or Consequences. I know there's a lot of them out there right now, but this particular missing scene is not one anyone else has written yet; and let's face it, it just had to be done.

Grab Your Gear


"Petty Officer Finnegan," said Gibbs, dropping a manila file on the table and folding himself into his usual seat in the sparse, functional interrogation room.

"Sir," the young submariner replied nervously.

"You know what you're charged with."

"Yes, sir. Do you know… Will I lose my submarine clearance?"

"Oh, that's the last thing you should be worrying about right now. I've been in this job more than fifteen years, Finnegan. I've seen people commit stupid crimes, and bizarre ones. But I gotta tell ya, your case is a new one on me."

"I … I know it looks bad, sir…"

"Well, yeah, Finnegan; that's why we're here and you're facing a court marshal. But I gotta admit, I'm looking forwards to finding out why ya did it."

"For Billie, sir," Finnegan told him earnestly. "She needed me."

"Billie needed to be stuffed in a kitbag?"

"I would never have hurt her, Agent Gibbs! I love her!"

"So, you just couldn't bear to be parted from her? And you really thought no one would find out?"

"I figured I could hide her. It was stupid, I know."

"Then why'd you do it?"

"Because I'm all she's got! No one else could've cared for her like I do; I couldn't just give her up to some stranger!" The young man ran frustated hands through his hair. "Look, I know she was only with me a few months. But now… I can't imagine being without Billie."


"Gotta admit, she is pretty cute," said McGee, in the dim observation room.

"I'm not so sure," remarked Tony. "She looks like she's planning something."

"Planning something? You're kidding, right?"

"It's all in the eyes, McDoolittle. And that little chicklet definitely has something up her sleeve."

"Like what?"

"How should I know, McGee; I'm just telling you to stay sharp. It's always the harmless looking ones that manage to bite you in the ass."

"You're being ridiculous, Tony."

"Well, excuse me for trying to give a younger agent the benefit of my experience."

"More like psychosis," Tim muttered under his breath.


"Where is Billie, sir?" Finnegan asked tentatively. "Is she ok?"

"Being looked after."

"Can I… is there any way I can get to see her?"

"You want me to arrange a visit?" Gibbs asked incredulously. "After what you did?"

"She pines when I'm not around."

"Pines? You kept her in your apartment for weeks; and then when you shipped out, you tried to take her with you and hid her under your bunk on board a top secret nuclear submarine!"

"She likes the dark! I did everything I could to keep her happy…"

"No; you just did whatever you could to keep her with you; whether it was good for her or not. What if she'd got sick? Run out of food, or water?"

"I would've figured something out. Whatever it took, I would've done it…"


"The plea of a desperate man," drawled McGee.

"Obsessed, Timmy; there is a difference. Some people just don't know when to let go. My uncle Fabrizio was just the same; perfectly normal right up until that night he got caught on the golf course at 3am, hunting for mole people with a nine iron and a jar of worms."

"Normal as in normal, or normal by DiNozzo standards?"

"The only difference between me and a mad man is that I am not mad, Elf Lord. Anyway, Uncle Fab was too rich to be crazy. He was just a little… you know, quirky. Eccentric."

"So if hunting mole people is eccentric, what does that make this guy?"

"On a petty officer's salary? A fruit loop. When it comes to crazy, money talks."

"Right; and being able to recite the whole script of Dr No by heart is perfectly normal. And what about Gibbs? Spending six years building a boat by hand in his basement?"

"Bossman's… determined. Focussed. Driven. Dedicated."

"All of which are synonyms for obsessive."

"Well, who says obsession is always a bad thing? You have your computer geek stuff and your little Sherlock Holmes pipe and your typewriter thing which I do not even pretend to understand. Abby has her conspiracy theories, Bossman has his boat, I have my movies, Ziva…" His voice trailed off.

"Cooking,"said McGee softly. "Martial arts, and playing piano. And trying to figure out what everyone else is doing."

"You miss her, McGee?" Tony's voice was almost unrecognisably wistful.

"Almost as much as you do, Tony," his friend replied, with a sigh.


"So, Finnegan, tell me," Gibbs drawled. "Just how did you smuggle the koala aboard the submarine?"


Gibbs, during the blurred montage scene where Tony talks about all the cases they've had since losing Ziva.

"Grab your gear! Petty Officer smuggled a koala onto a submarine."

Re-watch the episode and tell me that one line did not deserve its own fanfiction.

Can't, can ya?

Oh, and by the way… watch this space for a new chapter of The Lost Boy, coming soon…