Subspace emissary: Lemony Snicket style

I was gonna do this fully until I realized it would be stupid. It's a oneshot

You are currently better off reading other smash bros fanfics which contain adventure and laughter and avoid the ASOUE fanfics which contain misery and despair but I feel that what I think can put a new dimmer light on the epic quest that is the subspace emissary

Dear Reader

As you read this strange combination of things be aware that this is an adventure and hard to turn into a sad story. But with a few changes of story that will be hardly be noticed will help me though.

Do not read this sad twist on the subspace journey and go read a happier story like Subspace emissary: the littlest elf edition

In the first chapter entitled THE SAD STADIUM the Smashers find out about a giant airship bringing red clouds, a oversized flower with teeth, a cannonball and a fat man who likes garlic.

If you are reading this to try and enjoy it, I highly doubt it unless you like a fanfic writer with a taste for SSBB and ASOUE.

Yours Randomly


Subspace Emissary: Lemony Snicket Style

Chapter 1: The Sad Staduim

I am surprised you read on after seeing my warnings but know you are hear I will leave the door open with a neon lighted arrow sign pointing out the door to let you know you can leave any time preferably, now, while the chance is ripe.

In the randomly floating stadium, all seemed perfectly fine. Mario the most recognised gaming face in the world was brawling against Kirby in what seemed to be the finals of a tournament it is unknown whether it was, but it must have been important because the fine Princess Peach and Princess Zelda were there, who are also respected smashers.

The fight didn't last long. The details I got said that Kirby beat Mario to a pulp, an expression which here means 'beaten like the wimp he really can be '.

When the Italian and the round pink thing were getting ready to claim the trophy and sign autographs of the soon unlucky fans in the audience. The huge face of a rival Kirby knew was on an airship known as 'Halberd' and the research confirms that he was not piloting the airship and my co-workers are still trying to deduce from the clues how it was taken.

Out of the ship came little bugs and I keep a lone one in a jar by my bookshelf. They are little purple glowing 'shadow bugs'. I am studying the one I have to find out about where they are from.

Also exiting the Halberd was what seemed to be an important figure that goes by the name Ancient Minister carrying a bomb, which he dropped on the ground and two robots placed themselves 'willingly into it' a phrase which here means obeying orders even if it means killing themselves.

After Mario's loss, the plumber wanted to impress the Mushroom Princess so he went to stop the bomb and, at random, a cannonball launched Mario into the sky and fortunately for the smashers they cannot die, they will only be turned into trophies which is still a horrible state to be in.

From what I am told, being a trophy is in fact like being in a dentist's waiting room without the slight cough of the old man sitting across the way, the really annoying receptionist on the phone, the young child playing with the 'donated' toys and the woman turning the page of the 2 year old gossip magazine. Also when you get revived you feel like you were completely knocked out which is what happened in the first place.

While Kirby watched Mario get launched, A huge flower with teeth and no eyes captured both princesses who are used to this but were still shocked that it happened in less than 2 seconds.

The huge flower beast, known as Petey Piranha, was immensely big and rather powerful.

To describe a fight between a pink blob and a huge flower is beyond me but it resulted in an explosion.

Apparently Kirby and Princess Peach survived, while Zelda struggled to get free. And, on que, another villain arrived. This time this villain was fatter and smaller, he also smelled of garlic and was gassy. Not nice. The villain was Wario, Mario's cousin and enemy. Holding a dark cannon, a device which turns you instantly into a trophy. Again not nice, but you chose this to read and that door is still leading you away.

Wario tried to get Peach, but she could easily avoid this. He turned to Zelda who was still very weak. He shot it a full power and Zelda became a trophy. Then attention turned to the subspace bomb. We all forget about it at some point.

Kirby saw this, so he made a warp star and flew him and Peach to safety, not for long though.

-Fanfiction stops here-

I'm sorry to all who think I could possibly continue, I won't. That's the plain and simple truth. It would be too much work. Feel free to try and make me, though.