Chapter 1: Leaving

Bella's Point of View

Today is Charlie's 25th anniversary – his death anniversary. It's hard not being around him anymore. I couldn't even go to his funeral.

I try not to show anything around Edward, I know he would feel bad and try to make it better. Even though he can't do anything. But I wasn't in the mood to be cheered up.

My new family has gone hunting, a fair few hours away. I insisted staying home, I said I wanted to clean Edward and my room.

Edward asked if he could help but I told him it would be easier to do it alone.

I stood in the dining room, staring out across the woods that surrounded our house.

Thoughts kept rushing through my head.

We were currently living in Alaska and Charlie is buried in Forks Cemetery, and I visit his grave every year.

Edward and everyone else must of forgotten - which is unlikely. Their probably waiting for me to say something about it.

If I was going to visit Charlie this year I was going to go alone.

The past few weeks I have been feeling weird, like I didn't belong with Edward's family anymore. It feels like I'm making their life horrible, that they are fed up with me already.

I don't know why but I haven't felt like this since Charlie died.

I tried not to show too many emotions around Jasper or anyone else.

If they knew how I felt...
I couldn't finish that thought. It would hurt them too much to see me like that again.

Edward and I have been happily married for 75 years. I love him, and somehow he still loves me.

2 weeks ago I had a breakdown, I finally broke. Everyone was worried about me, they didn't know if I would snap out of it or not.

I laid in Edward's arms for 3 days dry sobbing.

All my family was dead.

Except Jacob.

I don't know if he has stopped phasing or is still running around as a teenage, giant wolf.

Jake didn't mind my change; he said as long as we stay friends, he wouldn't hate me.

But I haven't talked to him since... Well, since Charlie died.

We all ran down to be with him. I didn't stay long enough for the funeral, people would notice me almost instantly.

I frowned sadly. Edward and everyone would be home soon.

Do I want to see them, after I have had a long think about this? What if i have another break down?

I couldn't do that to them again. Not with everything they have done for me.

I made up my mind. I'm going to see Jake and Charlie. But if Jake didn't want to see me, I would go somewhere else.

Then I remembered Alice, she would see me doing this.

I quickly darted up to Carlisle's study and found a piece of paper and a pen.


Please don't tell anyone - especially Edward. I need to do this. Tell everyone I say sorry and that this is the only way that I can't hurt them again.

I can't have another break down in front of anyone - especially not in front of Esme or Edward. It would hurt them too much to see me like that.

Alice if you love me you will not come after me. Alice you will always be my sister, if I come back I will do anything for you.

But please don't come after me.

Love you so much big sis


It always made Alice happy when I call her big sis. Technically she is, but physically...

This would hurt Edward so much.

I just can't leave without a goodbye. I can't say it in person, then I won't be able to leave.

And Esme, my loving mother, would be so heart broken...

I shook the image of Esme sobbing out of my head.

I wrote a letter to every one of my beloved family members, and placed them in a place they would find it.

Edward's on his piano...

Alice's near one of the beautiful flower vases...

Carlisle's in his study...

Esme's in the kitchen...

Emmett's under the tv...

Rosalie's on her car's bonnet...

and Jasper's in his room.

Alice would make them find it, just to make it a bit fun.

I told each of them how much I loved them, how sorry I was and told them that I had to go.

I didn't tell them where I was going. Only Alice knew, and she wouldn't tell anyone... if she loved me she wouldn't.

I explained to Edward to not come after me, if he did it would hurt me too much to see him if I lost it.

This would hurt him, yes, but it will hurt me more to see him. To see him happy to see me alright, when I wasn't.

I would have to pretend, to let them see I was okay. I would not let them see my true feelings.

And I couldn't do that. I couldn't pretend.

I knew Alice would hurry everyone, to get them home in time. They would try to convince me to stay.

Alice wouldn't tell them why - hopefully.

I looked out the front door, stole one last glance at the house - who knew when I would be back - and ran towards Forks.

My First Chapter FanFic
Going to try and post next chapter soon.
Please Review will convince me to continue.