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~Normal Text~

The black, demonic Berserk Fuhrer sniffed the lovely, gentle flowers.

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'I hate you, AvaDe, you bat-shit loco, manipulative son of a bitch!'

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"All your base are belong to us!"

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"You're avenger status is pissing me off, Uchiha Sasuke!

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"I'll drown myself in sulfuric acid before I Gattai with a Molga!"

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~Demonic/Enhanced Speech~

"I hate Molgas!"

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Good day to you, my brothers and sisters!

I, Avade, bestow upon you the next chapter in the Naruto: A Zoid's Tale, after several months of no updates!

If you want to know why, life is being a bitch, death is being a bastard, fate is being a whore, and all in that somewhere in the middle, a wombat is destroying a tank with nothing but it's natural weapons, in the middle of nowhere!

…okay, seriously, I was experiencing a wave of laziness in addition to my life, so I had little time to work on this chapter.

Just a heads up, my co-authors and fellow insaniacs: HolyMage Mouto and crimsonkyuubi have helped me in filling in some gaps in characters that will be needed, and a couple of their OC's will be seen!

I implore you all to try making up OC's with their Zoids, so long as they are reasonable and not insanely crazy and deadly… I mean, not everyone can have a Madthunder, right?

If you sent me a profile for your OC, and I haven't sent word or hinted at their appearance, it's likely I forgot about them, and a simple resending of those profiles will clear it all up!

Trust me, I like big stories with lots of characters, because then it makes the transition into new chapters harder without going one by one with each read, otherwise everyone would just skip ahead to the parts they want to read… which pisses me off for having to have bothered putting the effort into propping it up for you guys in the first place.

And please, no Yaoish-OC's, by this point in time you must have gotten at the very least, a hint as to my policy towards Yaoi, and if you haven't… you really shouldn't be reading my works then, shouldn't you?

This chapter isn't very filled with action, rather I designed it to have you people thinking ahead, as well as guessing what I'm going to be doing for the story in the near and far future…

And if you can catch the many subtle hints in the stories, well then good for you!

This chapter has a lot of dialogue that is left purposely ambiguous on who is talking, and I will do this very often to create suspense and have you posting up like two to ten reveiws on who you think is saying what, which is why I did it… I want more reviews.

More reviews means a more inspired me, and that means that the chances of increased frequency in updates and story length and quality jump as well!

Remember this kiddies, and you will last through the trials of my works!

Now, on with the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Zoids, they belong to their respective owners!

Private Disclaimer: Every time Madara smiles, another Uchiha rolls in his grave… yeah, that's it, I'm too lazy to make up a friggin competent disclaimer, so if you're not down with that… I have two words for you:



The cawing of a random - and rather annoying - Pteras signaled the start of a morning for the mechanic and parts dealer that lived in this part of the Jungle Country, which for the ill-informed, translated to the land that was the home of the former glorious Village Hidden in the Grass, otherwise known as Kusagakure. Despite his immediate misgivings about having to be awoken, this man knew it deep within his heart that there was no avoiding the daily activities that had become his life.

In reality, each day was nothing more than another repeat of the day before it - save a few minor changes in whom came around and what for - but in general it was just an endless chain. Every morning, he would be woken up by the same damn Pteras, grumble for ten minutes about wanting to sleep in, then eventually getting up and showering, then clothing himself, then preparing breakfast, then performing his daily physical and Zoid-riding exercises, then going to his nearby shop that functioned as a parts dealership/repair & maintenance workshop for the workday, taking a break to get lunch in between shifts - funny, seeing as he was the only one whom worked there - and the occasional powernap, and finally closing up to go home, eat dinner, shower again, spend a little free time doing whatever, before finally going to sleep to start the next repeat of the cycle.

To most - that weren't related to the Nara Clan of Konoha, the only exception whom would also share the same opinion as this man - a life that dull would sooner beget suicide faster than one could say 'Looping', however, to one Sorahane Kagami a life that simple and uneventful was 'just right.'

A man of thirty-four years, Kagami was not overly large as one would expect a former native of Kumogakure - yes, no one could deny he had muscle, and Kagami most certainly did not appear scrawny by any definition of the word - but his muscle mass and stature were not overtly great, at the very least not to make him look like someone from the Yotsuki clan. With his physical build, Sorahane Kagami would not seem altogether unusual, ironically however his hair style and eye color in conjunction made up for that - in spades, one might add.

In fact, it was his exotic appearance that made him more noteworthy than his Shinobi record made him out to be. With Kagami's eye-catching look, one would be drawn to look at him when flipping through the Bingo Book, often his appearance became a subject of rumors - both serious and ridiculous - especially, seeing as it was a style rarely - if ever, in all honesty - adopted by a ninja.

Like the former Uchiha heir Uchiha Itachi, Kagami kept his hair in a low ponytail to keep it out of the way of his vision, and having bangs that framed his face which combined with his facial creases gave him a sort of grave appearance and making his likeness to the Uchiha with the namesake 'Weasel' that more noticeable.

"It's damn becoming an issue, as it's already something I regularly loathe!" Kagami growled to himself, and it was becoming an annoying subject of rumor for him nowadays, seeing as the damn Uchiha nuke-nin was slowly growing more like Kagami in appearance as he grew older, and many a people came all the way out here to find him, just to ask him if he was in fact Itachi's father… a phenomena that wasn't rare enough in Kagami's opinion.

'I'd remember for sure if I slept with an Uchiha… cause the chances of me having fathered that nutcase, are the same as Yugito-chan having the Sharingan!' And that wasn't likely to happen… Kagami knew personally that Yugito had gone through more life-threatening situations in a typical month, than a platoon of Kumo's Anbu did in a year, and Sharingan would have by all accounts activated by this time, and so Kagami knew a safe bet when he saw one. Hell it's why he's been able to live on his lousy income: he had the luck of the devil, and often regularly cleaned out the poker tournaments at Kusa's famous casinos.

As he looked in the mirror and took in his ruffled appearance, another oddity of Kagami which now would normally not be noticeable - as if his similarity to another infamous Shinobi wasn't enough - is his (in comparison to his ex-fellow Kumo villagers) skin tone. Kagami's skin complexion bore a slightly mild tan, which - while not altogether rare in other places like Suna or Konoha - was an incredible rarity in Kumo where almost the entire collective of people consisted of either dark or pale-skinned residents, a trait Kagami shared with his blond-haired sixteen-year old troublemaker of a godchild Yugito, whom he remembered he was due to visit in the next month.

To add to the abnormal appearance of a former villager of Kumo, Kagami's hair color was an unorthodox combination of a primary color base of sky blue, with a few secondary-highlights of white in the form of streaks that were - to the opinion of whatever misguided Deity [coughorloonyco-writerscough] that designed Kagamai - randomly scattered throughout his hair as a whole.

In fact, the only known residents of Kumo with hairs of any kind of light blue or white were those bearing relation to Kagami, the entirety of which had become borderline extinct by this point in time, save the only other relative of Kagami's that was of noteworthy attention: one of the Genin on the team of Kumo's Hachibi Jinchuuriki, Yotuski Kirabii's own Omoi. Thinking about him, Kagami idly recalled that he would have to visit Kumo very soon, seeing as he had missed Omoi's last birthday, and Omoi was one of the very few whom actually tried to befriend his antisocial goddaughter.

That, and like Kagami, the young Omoi was also orphaned, although unlike Kagami whom remained a self-raised orphan for all of his life - a depressing scenario that was unfortunately becoming much too common nowadays - Omoi was 'unofficially' adopted by Kirabii; he had been raised alongside his lifelong friends and teammates Samui and Karui, which basically meant: that they were by every means Kirabii's kids and Yotsuki clan members… only that the dark-skinned and blond-haired fan of colloquialism was too damn friggin lazy and childish to properly file in the blasted paperwork for the actual authentication of their adoption.

'I mean, come on!', the immediate in response to that train of thought that Kagami thought, 'Every time he files in anything involving paperwork, he does completely unnecessary and extremely retarded things, like writing instead of his actual name, he puts down in the required field: 'Jinchuuriki-sama and Hachibi-sama', which makes even less sense seeing as that refers to two people, and actually writing the reports in rhyming verse!!!'

And the truly ironic part about Kirabii's half-assed adoption of his Genin: the attitude the Yotsuki clan held in relation to Kirabii's unofficial adoption of his Genin team. While normally, they could be as obstinate and uncooperative as the Hyuuga of Konoha towards allowing outsiders into their clan, in this case the Yotsuki's at worst could have cared less, and at best even approved and promoted Kirabii's adoption of them, and Kagami sometimes wondered if all that power had actually gone to their heads, and now they believed whatever they did make them look better!

"Then again…", Kagami mumbled to himself with obvious humor, "…Kirabii is the proverbial purple ram in a clan where black sheepare a rarity alone, which makes him the proverbial slap in the face towards the majestic image promoted by the clan."

"Hell, anything he does that doesn't include nor involve rapping, dancing, writing rhymes, which basically translates to basically everything Kirabii - and which is, according to recent studies, the leading factor in the rising number of people moving away from Kumo - would be seen as a redeeming quality, in what would be an otherwise hopeless case for the Yotsuki clan."

"I almost feel sorry for the damn bastards, having to wake up every day and watch that menace drive people into the mental asylums and tarnish their carefully-constructed reputation… but I think my spite towards those bastards for what they did to Yugito-chan and her parents outweighs my pity for them…"

The sudden snarl that Kagami released only expressed a fraction of the emotions that were centered around the subject of the Yotsuki clan, more specifically the atrocious acts that they committed in the name of power that had ended up costing his best friend Nii Shinji his life, turning Nii Yugito into a pariah, and assassinating Nii Asuka in the hopes of turning Yugito into their personal weapon. The Yotsuki clan was the source of everything that Kagami hated about Kumo, they were the ones that made him so sick of his village that he retired somewhat earlier than he originally expected, and they were the most likely reason Kagami might ever decide to aid Kumo's enemies in annihilating the village, as they had cost him his two closest friends and the only chance for his goddaughter to have a somewhat normal life.

Yugito's parents had been Kagami's only friends during their time at the Kumo ninja academy, and the only people Kagami could trust with anything that was troubling him. After graduating and - with no small amount of pleasure - finding himself on the same Genin team as Shinji and Asuka, Kagami and his two teammates made a name for themselves, with their power and teamwork leading to their recognition as Kumo's equivalent of the Densetsu no Sannin.

'And just like the Sannin, our team were as closely knit as teammates could get, hell I saw them as my surrogate siblings. I lost track of the number of times I found myself playing the role of the middle man, and ergo peacemaker, between Shinji and Asuka's fights. And those were almost always one-sided: damn Shinji was too much of a gentleman to chastise or harm Asuka beyond what was typical of a spar, and unfortunately for him Asuka did not pull her insults… or her punches, damn volatile redhead was a Tsunade in the making, temperament included…'

As a veteran of the Third Great Ninja War, Kagami was no stranger to losing the people he cared for, it was an occurrence much too often for Kagami's liking, especially seeing as he was still alive after all his friends had been killed, it even became a sort of superstition concerning him: if any mission that Kagami is on - and isn't in charge - goes out of control, the only survivor expected to live and tell the tale of what went wrong would be Kagami himself.

But it was the loss of his best friends that struck him hardest, seeing as Kagami had never had a real significant other, as all the potential ones had been killed in wartime, by an assassin ninja from an enemy village, or on a mission that backfired horribly. The death of Shinji and Asuka, coupled with the treatment that Yugito was receiving from the village, was what led to his resignation… as otherwise, his only option would have been to go on a rampage and be put down before he ended up destroying the entirety of Kumo, and all of it's vile scum that called themselves villagers. After he retired, Kagami moved around like a hermit, searching for an appropriate place to settle down and hide away from the world that he had slowly grown to despise, which is how he ended up here in the first place.

The Jungle Country was usually only recognized for being a wedge that separates the borders of the Countries of Fire, Earth, Storm, and Stream, each of which with their own Hidden Village. Like Jungle housed the Shinobi of Kusa, the other countries along with their Daimyo's held the allegiance of their own Shinobi and Kunoichi of their respective villages.

Everyone knew Fire Country was home to Konohagakure, Earth Country sheltered Iwagakure, both of whom were well- established 'giants' in the ninja world, and the other two - while less renown than the former two, were prosperous nonetheless - villages Amegakure and Takigakure claimed their mark in the countries of Storm and Stream respectively.

But many often forgot that Jungle Country - and ergo, Kusagakure - existed specifically between these staunch rivals, and in fact Jungle was often ignored or omitted from classification as a country with a Hidden Village by a great majority of people. And seeing as this, combined with the lack of manpower for Kusagakure to really do anything to someone at Kagami's level other than pester him with empty threats, it made for the perfect location for Kagami to settle down.

And yet… Kagami couldn't help but feel restless… like he simply wasn't ready for retirement, despite his incredible desire to leave it all behind. This was something all to common, Kagami learned, that affected any sort of warrior trained in some form of combat, whom retired early in their career as a result of issues in life, and it was even more prevalent in veterans of war. Even after wanting nothing to do with his former career as a ninja, Kagami still felt that innate drive to battle, and deep down… Kagami wanted to experience the thrill of battle…

===X===X===X Chapter 04: Talk of the Town X===X===X===

In this particular clearing, the mechanical sound of Zoids moving could be heard, and upon a closer glance the individual Zoids responsible looked very much alike, seeing as they were both part of the Genosaurer variety. Each one stood out amongst the scenery, and would more than likely still stand out if they were hypothetically placed amongst an entire army of Geno-Type Zoids.

The first resembled the Genosaurer in a way… if the Genosaurer had a blue/green based armor color, was longer in length and shorter in height, and overall looked generally more streamlined in it's design. So in reality, it wasn't a Genosaurer, but it was certainly of the Geno-Type, as why else would it have anchors on it's feet that was synonymous with the use of a Charged Particle Cannon. But then again, Zoid-selling rip-off artists often would put anchors on Theropoda-Theme Zoids, so as to fool buyers into thinking the Zoid they were going to buy was an actual real Genosaurer.

But the blue/green Genosaurer look-alike also had one more detail that sealed it's authenticity: the strange small cannon-like weapon stored within the mouth of the mysterious blue/green Geno-Type Zoid. Even if you had never seen what the cannon looked like personally, any Zoid pilot or Ninja-Z worth their salt would be able to spot and identify that weapon.

After all: as the saying goes, "A Zoid can look like a Genosaurer, it can walk like a Genosaurer, it can fight, kick, and bite like a Genosaurer, it can even have anchors and brace itself for a powerful backlash like a Genosaurer, but if it doesn't have a Charged Particle Cannon, it's only an imposter. But if you see a Zoid with that kind of weapon in it's mouth, you had better pray that you aren't on their radar scope, because that's the real deal, not that you'll live long enough to tell about it…"

The second Zoid that accompanied the first looked more like the true model of a Genosaurer, yet it too could not claim to be a normal Genosaurer - if Genosaurers were common enough to be denoted with the term normal, and in a relative sense of the word - as it possessed some variations in it's own design. Unlike the normal Genosaurer, which had a dark-violet armor color with lavender - or in rare cases, brick red - paneling, this particular Geno-Type Zoid possessed an onyx colored armor with sangria colored paneling, and orange as well as goldenrod runic markings that covered various portions of the Zoid.

In addition to that, the normal Genosaurer was equipped with a Laser Gun mounted on it's forehead, and a [Double] Long Range Pulse Laser Rifle mounted on it's back, however this Zoid lacked both of those weapons. Instead of a Laser Gun, the Zoid had a foldable Laser Charging Blade mounted on it's head, and instead of the Long Range Pulse Laser Rifle on it's back, the Zoid instead possessed a Thruster Pack with two menacing large multi-functional claws mounted on two extendable arms attacked to the Thruster Pack that were nicknamed X-Breakers.

Not only that, but the Zoid also had a large variety of fixed weapons that did not come as part of the normal Genosaurer, and seemed to have come from a variety of both Geno and Fuhrer-Type Zoids. Firstly noticeable were the two Weapon Binders that were mounted on the sides of each of it's legs, with the Weapon Binders acting as a combination armament, which of itself consisted of three individual weapons: the AZ 140mm Shock Gun, the 80mm Beam Gun, and finally the Micro Poison Missile Pod, all of which together could be fired independently or together if desired.

The other visible weapon on this Zoid that did not follow the normal trend of what a Genosaurer possessed happened to be what resembled two smaller-scale versions of the X-Breakers, except the larger versions were attached to the Thruster Pack mounted on the Zoid's back, whereas the smaller versions were attached and mounted onto the shoulders of the Zoid's small arms.

These smaller versions even had extendable arms like the larger X-Breakers, and seeing as the claws 'hand' faced the front of the Zoid when at rest, combined with the claws folding back like the Laser Charging Blade on the Zoid's head, it gave viewers the impression that the claws served as a warning that it would strike at anyone that came too close. In fact, the claws themselves could actually vibrate extremely quickly, which in actuality served to increase the lethality of the claws themselves, but when vibrating while at rest, the smaller X-Breakers would simply give off a strange humming sound. Not to mention that the smaller claws possessed Jamming Blade technology that could stop and destroy Zoids with just a single precise hit.

As any enemy unfortunate enough to find themselves in front of this Zoid and close enough to melee, the claws would lunge forward very quickly, and thus take out it's intended prey before they could even react. Thus, those claws could actually relate the Zoid to a rattlesnake, as both the Zoid and the rattlesnake could and did use a certain part of their boy to emanate a sound that served to warn intruders (the rattle for the rattlesnake, and the hum for this Zoid), and if agitated could strike faster than one could anticipate, and by that means deal a single quick - and often fatal blow - with that single strike.

All in all, these two Zoids were definitely not Genosaurers, as could be plainly seen with all of the before mentioned differences, so what were they? The blue/green Geno-Type Zoid was actually a Geno Hydra, a rarity even among the few notable instances of people possessing any Geno-Type Zoids, and it's partner would be something that people couldn't automatically identify, seeing as it was- at the moment - one of a kind model known as the Des Genosaurer, and both - along with their respective pilots Yugito and Naruto, and their respective Organoids Nii and Kyuu - were in Waterfall Country, on their way to pass into Jungle Country.

Not as lush with vegetation as Jungle Country, Waterfall Country nonetheless had a surprising variety of flora and fauna, with some rare animals and the occasional exotic Zoid such as the Dimetroptera or the Styluarmor, but then again there had to be some explanation as to how Takigakure was famed for never having been invaded, especially if the proclaimed unassailable Village Hidden in a Waterfall had easy access to such exotic wild Zoids as these.

In fact, Takigakure was known specifically for it's Mode-Zoids, which were the Zoids that had two or more different battle forms, which could be easily switched between by the Zoids whenever desired, and it's Fuzor-Zoids, which could actually do a Gattai similar to the pilot/Zoid Bio Gattai, which allowed certain Zoids to combine into a new Zoid more formidable than both could have been when separate.

One known famous example was the famous ex-Taki Ninja-Z known as Kakuzu, whom was feared for his incredible mini-army of Fuzor-Zoids that could combine at separate at Kakuzu's command to form scarily strong Zoids like the Chimera Dragon or the Matrix Dragon, and if need be his ace in the hole: Gojulox. The power of the Gojulox spoke for itself when it became known that Kakuzu lost a confrontation with the Shodaime Hokage, however the simple fact that Kakuzu lived to tell of the tale, whom would later be punished and jailed unjustly for his failure.

Only Kakuzu would later escape, and in vengeance kill all the people that had ordered for his imprisonment, and inexplicably using them to somehow be able to control more than six Fuzor-Zoids at a time (normally the max that a single living pilot could support in a Local Bio-Gattai Network was at most six Zoids, with one human-piloted Zoid and five unmanned or computer-controlled Zoids). And the fact that somehow Kakuzu was still alive and kicking to this day, and from the rumors among the bounty hunters, he had not weakened a single bit despite being older than the Sandaime Hokage…

Now, why were Yugito and Naruto in Waterfall Country to begin with? Apparently, with Yugito's information and assistance Naruto had anticipated that they would be hunted down like dogs by their respective villages, and would have to plan some way to lose their hounds without having to endlessly face and fight tooth and nail with and each and every Anbu or Hunter-Nin squad sent after them, which Naruto knew would only end up getting them both killed… or worse. And with a little assured help from Yugito, Naruto had devised a plan to lose their trackers temporarily, so as to at the least give themselves an open window to make their next move.

Simply, Naruto and Yugito left too many tracks and leads for even two or three Anbu or Hunter-Nin squads to be able to fully follow, without at least taking a significant of time to investigate each and every one, which they would have to do, seeing as otherwise they would have to return home empty-handed, and their village councils would not be fond of their failures.

First, while they had remained in the neutral country between Fire Country and Lightning Country, both Naruto and Yugito took it upon themselves to openly ask for information and 'mentioned' where they might be headed and what the planned to do, and each every story was similar and yet different at the same time: several times they claimed to be 'travel-loving' newlyweds, and they were on their way to Rice Country, celebrating their honeymoon by touring and seeing the sights; in other instances they claimed to be siblings, and that they were heading to Tea Country in search of their family, whom they were separated from during a violent storm; and on one occasion, they claimed to be a God and his Angel, destined to go to Rain Country in order to face a rival God and his devotee (unknown to Naruto and Yugito, two people adorned in black cloaks with red-clouds, whom were a certain orange spiky-haired man and a blue short-haired woman, both just happened to simultaneously sneeze somewhere far away when that remark was made), each and every one were random and yet not too obvious.

Eventually, they had managed to hitch a ride on a company-owned Zoid carrier, after saving the life of the company's owner from the local mob, and eventually found themselves in Water Country, which allowed them to start the next part of their plan. From the stories that Yugito had heard of, the time they arrived on their particular island in Water Country coincided with the decennial gathering of renown artists, actors, musicians, and sculptors for a special exhibition known as the Zoidiad.

Similar to the Chunin Exams, the Zoidiad only occurred after a time interval has passed, in this case being ten years, and it changed placed in where it took place after every exhibition. The exhibition itself held little interest for Eisen Dragoon despite it's notoriety, however Yugito soon discovered that something about it had interested Naruto, and later learned just how crafty and thought-out Naruto could be after he explained the next stage of the plan to her.

First, Naruto and Yugito took advantage of being privy to the knowledge of an attack by money-hungry missing nins that would attack the people at the competition to prepare to mount an offense, and due to the lack of hired ninjas to protect the competition - seeing as never before had any rouge ninja attempted to raid the revered competition - they would have been basically doomed. However, right before the raiding missing ninja could do any serious harm, Yugito and Naruto showed up 'just in the nick of time' and proceeded to demolish the missing ninja.

The true devilry of Naruto's genius became apparent in how he anticipated the reaction of the people to their being rescued: they celebrated Yugito and Naruto's selfless acts and treated them like heroes, and after seeing their Organoids and Naruto's rune-covered Des Genosaurer - the majesty of which gave several custom-Zoid designers there an orgasm induced by what they saw - later came to see them as the God and Angel Yugito proclaimed them to be (seeing as she would always refer to Naruto as a God and she his Angel, every time she asked just what exactly he and she were). Expecting their desire to find some way to rewards their saviors, Naruto gave them a request that also substituted as a challenge, something that not only appealed to their desire to reward their saviors but also fueled their drive at what they would consider a true example of a masterpiece.

The first part of the request consisted of a competition to see whom could create the best life-sized replica bust of the Geno Hydra and the Des Genosaurer, with the best having each detail down to the very last small runic symbol on the Des Genosaurer, which the sculptors were more than happy to accept. The second part consisted of a kabuki play about two heroes whose design drew inspiration from themselves, even so much as to have the two characters match their physical appearances, even so much as having costumes to play out the roles of their Organoids, the production and performance of which the actors and playwrights strived to perform.

The third request tied in with the first and the second, with the request being that they ensure to spread the word by traveling with the Zoid busts and the kabuki play, which was almost unnecessary, seeing as after every Zoidiad exhibition, the works and plays that were produced and their creators went around the Elemental Countries showcasing the results. Yugito then realized what Naruto intended: with all the busts of their Zoids and plays with actors to look like them traveling around, it would make trying to find the real them practically impossible, what with the only thing to go by in searching for them being their own appearances and the last sightings of what their Zoids looked like.

The last request however confused Yugito, as it had nothing to do with securing their anonymity, and it was made to the Zoid-designers with certain instructions and requirements that made no sense. Some of the requirements be that the Zoid be able to act as a mobile base, that it be large enough to carry other smaller Zoid carriers, that it had to be amphibious, that it could house at least a hundred individuals with their own private quarters at minimum, and that was only the obscure things that Yugito could make sense of, after all, what was so important to her God that he constantly emphasized on making sure the Zoid was bright 'kill-me' orange?

That was about three weeks ago, and two weeks after they left Water Country, which also coincided with the time that their pursuers arrived to look for them, just as Naruto had predicted, and during the next two weeks till now, Naruto and Yugito had gone on a crisscross adventure around the neutral and minor countries, confusing whatever few remaining pursuers that had managed to tail them up to that point, because to them it seemed like they were trying to shake them off with no end in sight.

In reality, Naruto was just trying to kill for time, yet not once did he explain in full detail what he had planned to Yugito, but really that was only because she never asked, always preferring to follow 'Naruto-ousama' unquestionably, and really she was enjoying her newfound freedom… as well as being on a wild adventure with the guy that had changed her life for the better.

Yes, she knew he had something big planned, but Yugito by now had become very familiar with how Naruto thought and acted, and it would only take a few more weeks before Yugito completely knew Naruto to the point that they would not even have to talk to know what the other was thinking, similar to their paralleled counterparts from Ame, whom unknown to them were stumped in trying to locate them. And not just them, disregarding the norm of Anbu and Hunter-Nin squads that were tracking them, there were several groups and teams of individuals that were searching for Naruto and Yugito, and it would only be matter of time before they crossed paths.


"Yo my peeps and sheeps, masters of disasters, diggas of the nig…!

"Sensei, I'll emasculate you if you finish that line!"


"That's much better."

"Wow you're cranky. Did your enormous breasts get so heavy that you're suffering PMS earlier than expected?"

"Shut the hell up, you obnoxious pervert!"

"Why are you complaining? Your anthills aren't even big enough to feed mice, so you have nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about?! I'll show you something to worry about!"

"… See. Your missed, ergo, your aims sucks. Just like your mouth does when the missions aren't paying well…"

"I don't give fucking blowjobs, dammit! I have a job!"

"And you lack a brain in that empty hollow barrel of hot air you call a head, while my head is nice and full."

"Well, maybe you should get out here so I can tear off yours!"

"Which one? I have to point out, however, that it'd be a very unfair match, seeing as both of my heads combined are bigger than both of yours."

"What… the fuck, does that even mean?!"

"Didn't you just challenge me to a cockfight?"

"What the fuck are you on?! I didn't say that! And just were would we get the damn chickens needed to fight in one?"

"Well, I'm assuming this from learning about anatomy, but we already have our tools installed."

"Have you been smoking Sensei's bong again?! That's disgusting, that's not a cockfight, that's just sick what you just said… hey wait a minute! Did you just call me a guy?!"

"You can't blame me. You're breasts are so flat that you make walls jealous. Your actions are too aggressive to make you a tomboy, and it doesn't help your image that your appearance makes you look less of a woman and more of a man."

"Come back here and say that again! I'll tear it off, and then you can tell me how it is to feel less of a dick and more like a dickless!"

"Butt pirate."

"Bullshit artist!"





"Shut the fuck up both of you, or I'm going to tie you both naked to a tree and send the tree to Iwa!"



"She got you good."

"Fuck you, Sensei."/"Fuck you, Sensei!"

"Now that the children have finally quit bitching, I can tell Sensei what we found."



"No! Don't call me by that name! Remember, we have to go by our codenames!"

"…this is embarrassing… uberEMShax0r… "

"No! It's uberEMShax0r-sama!"

"(Sigh) …uberEMShax0r-sama. Why do we have to use codenames again?"

"I'm glad you asked $uper$am$ara$age$! We are all part of our secret organization, and thus we can't just go out spilling our identities to the public!"

"…and why did you decide to call our organization's codename…"

"COCK BALL UDDER?! What dumbass kind of fucking name is that?"

"Well, I didn't want to make an anagram using our group's name, and besides… the anagram generator on wordsmith couldn't turn anything decent up when I typed it in. So I took the three most obvious words I could think of about our group."

"And that was…?"

"Black, red, cloud."

"And you used…"

"Well, I did the smartest thing, which was to pick the first word I found, which was Ballcock Udder, then I simply switched it around so that nobody would suspect us. I mean, come on! It's pretty ingenious!"

"It's also pretty stupid…"

"Well I say that's our group's name's codename, and what I say goes! Understand?"

"Well, can we at least use anagrams for our names if we're going to use anagrams at all?"

"No. I tried that before, it sucked like hell! Most of everyone's names couldn't produce any feasible anagram, in fact only our resident 'God' turned up a passable name."

"…what is it?"


"Yeah… I think we'll stick to your dumb codenames…"

"Excellent! Now we do role call. $uper$ick$am$ara$age$?"

"Here……… pine?!"






"Hehehe… here!"




"Here. Where's my 50,000 ryou?"



"…kay. "Master=Of=Puppets?"

"Here. How long is this going to take?!"

"Almost done. Last but not least, !Artis%aBANG!?"

"Hell fucking yeah it is, un!"

"Very good, we are all present! Now, $uper$ick$am$ara$age$, I believe you mentioned that the boy has your Doujutsu?"

"That I did, Ze- I mean, 2xOmnOmnOmx2, was able to get a very good look at the boy, and he could tell that the appearance of his eyes were not a mere trick of the light."

"I see… and I suppose you want to see if you can persuade him to join our group?"


"…very well."

"…that's it, un?! No argument?! No conniption fit?! No ranting about your secret evil plan involving the Bijuu Zoids and their Jinchuuriki that must be carried out exactly as designed?! Not even a growl?!"

"!Artis%aBANG!, I never said our plans were set in stone, having lived as long as I have, I've learned that sometimes you have to be flexible, and bend over…"

"Stop, un! Do NOT finish that sentence, or I swear I'll use my prototype C5 on you!"

"…you have a C5?!!!"

"Yup, un!"

"I bet you're just bluffing!"

"Do you really want to find out?"

"…no, no I definitely don't, I'd prefer to keep myself intact, thank you very much. Getting back to what I was TRYING to say before I was so rudely INTERRUPTED, we need the power of the Bijuu Zoids, but I never stated that we needed them in their raw unsealed form. No, if anything, it would make our goal that much easier if we had the Jinchuuriki working with us…"

"Excuse me, Mizukage-sama?"

"Jaws-Lurkin~Under~You, didn't I tell you not to call me by that title, do you see a stupid piece of headwear and dumb robes on me?"

"Actually, uberEMShax0r-sama, about that…"

""Weasels~Illusion~World609, I was asking a rhetorical question. Now, Jaws-Lurkin~Under~You, what was it you wanted to ask?"

"How do you intend to gather the Jinchuuriki? I mean, last we heard, every single one of them had fled their villages, and they could be anywhere right about now!"

"Simple, my carnivorous friend, we use the Jinchuuriki to flush out the Jinchuuriki."

"…in a language we can understand, please?"

"…sigh, why must I explain everything? Okay, here's what's going to happen…"


"Hello my loyal assistant, tell me… what news have you discovered from Konoha?"

"Yes Oro.."

"Tut tut tut, must I remind you not to refer to me by my name out in the open? I'm number one in the Bingo Book's Most Wanted, and I can't risk having my movements tracked. You know that blasted former teammate of mine has his spy network, and they could be listening in on us!"

"I apologize Otokage-Sama, getting back to my report, my sources have informed me that Mizuki failed his mission to acquire the exotic Zoid, just as you had intended."

"And the old buzzard that was my former teacher, is he still under the premise that he is onto my plans?"

"Yes, he is completely fooled into believing that he has you figured out. Although there is a complication, and I do not know how…"

"Just spill out the words, you sneaky little excuse of a Medic-Nin! It's not like I'm some bastard that will kill you just because I'm a sadistic bastard that is a megalomaniac whom seeks immortality, and generally wishes to see the suffering of others!"

"About that…"

"I was speaking in rhetorical, now be a man and tell me what's so important that you're dancing around with words!"

"Otokage-sama… he has left the village."

"…run that by me again?"

"He left! The details are so hush-hush that I barely got any word of it, I actually had to do some investigation of my own to confirm it! It's true! He is no longer within the borders of Konohagakure."

"That idiot! Didn't I raise him to think ahead?! I mean, without a Zoid that he can't Bio-Gattai with, he's simply a giant bullseye!"

"…actually, about that…"

"Oh great, more good news, I hope…"

"Actually sir, it is in my opinion. It appears our little maelstrom has been planning this departure for quite some time, if I can say it in my opinion, he's been waiting for this moment for a few years now…"

"…I take back my words, it seems he has gotten more crafty, I bet that he even expected me to pull something like this, and then capitalized on it."

"Believe it or not, sir, but that actually is what happened."

"Well, I guess that is a little more relieving, but I'm still concerned about him in some inadequate Zoid…"

"Otokage-Sama… he didn't take just any Zoid… he took the Zoid that you had warned me about."

"You mean…?!"

"Yes… he left and took both his Organoid and the Des Genosaurer."

"This is perfe…"

"That's not all, sir."

"…more good news, I hope?"

"Surprisingly, it wouldn't seem that way at first, but upon reading more into it…"

"Say it, for the love of Kami!"

"The monkey and the warhawk have sent at least one ninja after the maelstrom."

"…dammit, well I trust Danzo's intentions, he's probably either sending one of his Anbu Ne, or another one of his pet projects…"

"That is correct, sir, also the Anbu that the monkey sent aren't meant to harm the maelstrom, they're meant to protect and guide it… also not necessarily back to the village, it seems. I haven't gotten the info on who was sent, seeing as I left Konoha to inform you of this before I could acquire that bit of information…"

"I see, no matter! Now, do you still have a channel by which to contact… her?"

"…um, yes sir! But are you sure…"

"Yes, she owes me her life, and if anything… she'll revere him as much as she does me… do not worry, he is a strong boy… I raised him and taught him, and if he's anything like I believe he is… he will have trouble surviving long enough for me and him to reunite… not to worry, all in due time…"


And there you go!

The next chapter will be coming sometime in the near future, seeing as I've gotten back into the funk of writing fanfiction, so it's hopeful that the next chapter will be more exciting and interactive, but then again…

Everyone needs to do a little plot development every now and then, and I am no exception!

So, with my parting words being said, damn you Yaoi Fangirls, and praise be to harems!

Oh yeah, I'm going to put on my profile a petition for Fanfiction(dot)Net to place a yaoi filter on the story filters! I'm sick and tired of seeing it when it's not wanted, and if you agree with me, then leave a review or a message saying that you want to sign on the petition!

Hopefully, we'll have enough names soon for me to live long enough to see that filter… lest I die from excessive vomiting… damn Yaoi fangirls…

AvatarofDeath13, over and out!