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~Normal Text~

The black, demonic Berserk Fuhrer sniffed the lovely, gentle flowers.

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'I hate you, AvaDe, you bat-shit loco, manipulative son of a bitch!'

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"All your base are belong to us!"

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As well as...

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"You're avenger status is pissing me off, Uchiha Sasuke!

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"I'll drown myself in sulfuric acid before I Gattai with a Molga!"

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~Demonic/Enhanced Speech~

"I hate Molgas!"

MARKER= "Double-Quotation Marks" & Bold


Hello one and all, that is RIGHT!

I'm back, and better and more insane than ever… and I thought I couldn't get any more insane!

…wait, thinking that in itself is signifying your getting even more insane right?

…but what if that kind of thinking instead is what constitutes growing more insane…

…or is it-GAH! Nevermind!

Wow, I really have to keep a hold of my insanity… or else I might go sane…

Anyways… I haven't got much to say on my defense of why I haven't been updating much, well… um, yeah… anyways, I know right now you want to hear me not rant, and instead want to see the new chapter of Naruto: A Zoid's Tale, right? Well here it is…

By the way, this chapter is slightly incomplete in that I didn't bother adding the reviews… yet.

At this moment that I am typing… right now… eh not going to fall for that again…

This moment I'm tired and just want to get the chapter up, I'll bother posting my review responses when I re-update this chapter, which I do actually do, by the way. I mean, is it really that hard to just resubmit the same material with just a few changes, additions, and corrections?

Oh yes, the reviews that I responded to that I will re-upload to the rehashed version of this chapter will only go up to the last reviewer I had before I uploaded, and if you're asking by this point who that was, then just forget about it and wait to see the re-upload like everyone else!

Anyways, here is the chapter, disclaimer is disclaimer, and will be made into a real disclaimer once I re-upload.

But for now, an emergency temporary disclaimer, I don't own anything in this story, not even my ideas… STOP STEALING MY IDEAS EVIL-ME!


"Target in range, attempting to neutralize!"





"Desert Liger 04 is down! I repeat, Desert Liger 04 is down!

The sounds of battle…

"Desert Liger 02, attempt to distract him, Command Wolf 02, attempt to shoot him from behind!"





"Command Wolf 02 is down! Desert Liger 02, try to-"

The engine of war…

"Desert Liger 02 is down! All forces, surround the target, do not let him get in range!"





"Command Wolf 03 is down!"

The song that never seemed to end…

"Blade Liger 02 is down!"





"This isn't working!"


"We've been sent on a suicide mission!"





"Stealth Viper 03 is down! Command Wolf 05 is down!"

Why did it have to be this way?

"Blade Liger 04 is down! All forces, form up on Blade Liger 01!"





"Blade Liger 01 down! Desert Squad 1 and Mission Leader is down! This mission is a failure, initiate a full-scale retreat! All forces, attempt to retreat at once, to al members of Desert Squad, do NOT attempt to engage the target!"

Why did they decide now to betray me…?

"Fuck, we didn't anticipate for… No! Guysak 05 is down! Guysak 04 is down! The target is now pursuing us! Do NOT let him catch you or you will die!"





"Oh my god… Guysak 02 is down! Guysak 01 is down! Desert Squad 2 Leader has been killed! Desert Squad 2 is down to 1 remaining Zoid! No! Now Stealth Viper 02 is down! He's slaughtering us!"

Why now, of all times…?

"That's it! This is Command Wolf 01, I'll try to redirect his attention! You all make your escape!"





"Command Wolf… Command Wolf 01 is down… Desert Squad 4 has been terminated…"

Why does nobody understand me…?

"Desert Liger 01! Watch out!"





"Dammit, Desert Liger 01 is down! Desert Squad 3 Leader has been killed! Desert Squad 5 is down to 1 remaining Zoid!"

Why didn't anyone care about me…?

"This is Blade Liger 05 of Desert Squadron 1, aborting mission! The target is too strong! Requesting backup, do you copy? Does anyone read me?"





"Stealth Viper 04 is down! Stealth Viper 01 is down! Desert Squad 5 Leader has been killed! Squad 5 is down to 1 remaining Zoid! Fucking shit!"

Why didn't anyone love me…?

"Desert Liger 05 is down… Desert Squad 3 has been terminated…"

"He's going to kill us!"

Oh yes… that's right…

"He's going to kill us all!"





"He almost got me! We're dead! It's hopeless! I might as well…"

I'm a monster…

"Shut up and keep running, Steal Viper 05!"





"We need help, call for backup again!"

I live only for myself…

"Nobody is responding!"





"This is Desert Squad 1! Desert Squad 3 and 4 have been completely destroyed. Desert Squad 2 and 5 are down to their last Zoids! Desert Squad 1 is down to two Zoids. We are all currently without our squad leaders! Requesting backup, do you copy?"

I love only myself…

"Desert Liger 05 is down… Kentaro-aniki… DAMN YOU FUCKING TANUKI!"





"Stealth Viper 05 is down! Desert Squad 5 has been terminated! Guysak 03 is down! Desert Squad 2 has been terminated! I'm… all alone…"

Yes… and you too, Ichibi…

"So… it's just you and me, you bastard spawn of Evil! I don't care if I die here, you don't take my older brother from me and expect me to just roll over and die?"





"This is for KENTARO! SHI-NE!"

No… I don't think I'll call you Shukaku… it sound's like the name of a drunkard…

"Desert Squad? This is Sunagakure Outpost 3, we received your distress signal, do you read me? Desert Squad? Do you read me? DESERT SQUAD?"

===X===X===X Chapter Six: Cataclysm of Fates! Crossed Prophecies! X===X===X===

"Hey Iruka?"

"Yes, Anko?"

"How much do you want to bet on Naruto's chances of finishing Yugito's task by the end of this week?"

"…do you mean for or against that notion?"


"Then no, I took that bet last time because I expected that Naruto would have finally managed to gain some headway during the beginning of the week, and by the end of that week he'd have gotten it…"

"Aw, but he really did look like he was, so I figured…"

"You're his sister, you know when he will and won't be able to do something, that alone is an unfair advantage, plus last time, you only gave him four days instead of an actual full week."

"Hey, I wasn't going to wait seven days, what do I look like, an idiot?"

"It still wasn't fair, and you have to at least try to be fair when making bets."

"Says you! I remember perfectly that you took Naruto with you into that casino and made a killing thanks to his godly powers of luck, I swear Yugito might be Lady Luck in disguise, with how obsessed she seems about him, and with how lucky he is…"

"You might be right there…"

"So… are you in?"

"Double or nothing."


"Fine, if you win, not only do you get my share of the 'profits' from the casino, but I'll also massage you for a full week."


"But if I win, then not only do I keep all of my money, but you can't binge on dango for a week."

"NO! My precious dango!"

"Fine! Then instead you won't complain about anything to me for the next week."

"Only if it involves Naruto."

"That includes your rants about dango being better than ramen."

"But it IS better!"


"Fine… but only for a week, and I get to keep eating it, right?"

"Yes, because otherwise you'd break that week-long silence faster than a Shunshin, no matter whatever your obligations are…"

"Alright, deal?"


"…and by the way, the week started… last Sunday."


"Ah, you're so easy to rile up, Iruka. No wonder Naruto takes after you!"

'You has better get it done today Naruto, or I'm going to make the Kyuubi haters seem like pacifist hippies by the time I'm down with you…'


There were very few times that Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto, or just plain Naruto (if that's how you rolled) found himself unable to make headway in something that he already had the basic understanding in completing… however, like the saying goes, 'theoretical can only wish it could be realistic, and it has nigh nothing on practical.'

And much the same, what was simple in pen and paper and mental thought, was a fucking quagmire of epic proportions when trying to actually go through the physical enactment.

So far, Naruto had been able to Bio-Gattai along with the Des Genosaurer without Kyuu, and had even - with the express 'permission' of Yugito (which basically consisted of Naruto asking her and she immediately responding in the positive, without even considering the request, much to Naruto's ever-growing frustration) - managed to Bio Gattai with the Geno Hydra to see if it was an issue on interaction between himself and the Des Genosaurer.

The issue did not exist between Naruto the Des Genosaurer, as the Zoid almost felt like an extension of himself whenever they Bio-Gattaied.

With that said, there could be only one of two possible issues: Kyuu was either having trouble Gattaing with either the Des Genosaurer or Naruto himself, or as Naruto suspected, a bit of both.

Yugito had it so lucky, her Zoid and her Organoid Ni were so well behaved and always on the same level of wavelength, always paralleling each other…


That might just be it!

What if they had been going about it the wrong way?

Instead of making it so that their mental wavelengths had to be exactly alike, they had to simply parallel their wavelengths!

Combining wavelengths would create obstructive interference that prevented anything from being accomplished, but having parallel wavelengths would allow for them to coexist without ever interfering with one another!

"Kyuu, Des, I figured it out! We're going to give this another shot, but this time, instead of making them exactly alike, we only have to make sure our wavelengths are equally parallel to one other!"

On the sidelines, the rest of the entourage, which consisted of the Diablo Tiger and the Shadow Fox exploring a brook nearby out of sheer boredom, Anko and Iruka whom were sitting close to Naruto's position on a nearby tree branch and making their bets, and the Geno Hydra simply content with watching the Des Genosaurer, much like her pilot Yugito was with watching Naruto himself, whom along with Ni were lazing on top of the Geno Hydra's snout, the Organoid Ni having contented herself in a different manner.

After Kyuu had begun to display his own frustration at something that 'a friggin house cat could do', Ni had taken to throwing insults and non-sequiturs randomly and unexpectedly with the intention of messing up Kyuu's performance, and to great success, much to his annoyance.

The first time Ni had tried doing that, Yugito had scolded her Organoid for possibly sabotaging Naruto's efforts, but a quick reply from the Rinnegan-wielding blond had Yugito suddenly singing an entirely different tune…

Hell, even Anko, whom had at first had taken to teasing Naruto about his 'private servant', had become rather disturbed with just how much emphasis she placed on her surrogate little brother's 'requests.' And that did not even account for Iruka's own long-term reaction to Yugito's 'behavior.'

However, before we get to them, let's go over their current situation.

Strangely enough, they were in, of all possible places, the Land of Rain, which for some reason, was actually the safest place that they had stayed in so far… despite logic dictating that Hanzou would hunt down any within the borders of the Land of Rain itself.

But Naruto could senses something wrong with this image, yet he was the only one…

They had been traveling together for a little less than a month, going on for what was now three, approaching four weeks, and while Iruka and Anko had their own team dynamic, the dynamics between Naruto and Yugito were very… surreal, if nothing else, in their opinion.

Her devotion to Naruto could almost be constituted as marking her as a fan girl, but for some reason, trying to do so would simply be… wrong, as if it was an incorrect designation, and she wasn't obsessed about some crush on him, if anything, she idolized him more like a devotee did to their patron God… almost exactly like a devotee…

Hell, she used the honorific of 'ousama', one they had never heard in usage, and when asked what made him so special, she remarked…

"Because he just is: above, all others…"

They both had to wonder if such a pair could have even existed elsewhere, and if it involved another guy running around with a Rinnegan on the loose…

Sadly they and everyone else were too engrossed with their respective activities, to notice the simultaneous pair of sneezes that came from only a small hidden distance away.

But getting back to the situation at hand, both Iruka and Anko observed as Yugito smiled and remarked, "He did it, but then again… I knew he would.", and both merely shook their head and simply attributed her behavior to a new strain of fangirlism…

They didn't even want to begin to believe that the Worshipping Naruto as God theory had any credulence, lest they lose what sanity they did manage to keep intact from the trials and tribulations they withstood throughout their lives.


They waited in anticipation, as finally Naruto shouted, "Bio-Orga-Gattai, Go!"

The resulting flash of light blinded everyone in the vicinity, and once it cleared, low and behold, the Des Genosaurer had taken a slightly red tint of it's colors, and it's runes began to glow, signifying that the Bio-Gattai with the Organoid Gattai (or 'Orga-Gattai' for short) had managed to finally become successful.

Wait a minute…

Iruka remembered their deal, "Yes! I win! That means no 'Dango-Dango-Dango!' or 'Dango is the best thing ever!' and anything involving else involving dango, or 'Naruto, you're a bigger pain in the ass on a good day than Iruka is on a bad day! Why don't you do something Iruka?' or 'Iruka! Iruka! Naruto stuck his tongue out at me! Punish him!' and anything else involving Naruto that you want to complain about! Not for an ENTIRE WEEK!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-", was Anko's cry to the heavens as she realized she had lost a bet that was all but guaranteed to turn in her favor, and now she didn't have Iruka's money… AND she couldn't rant about dango and Naruto to Iruka…

Oh well, she'd just have to talk Naruto's ear off twice as hard to compensate for her withdrawal from annoying Iruka…

Their thoughts, after acknowledging the terms and resolution of the bet, once again shifted back to Naruto, whom was experiencing something akin to nausea, only much worse.

"Hey… Yugito, is it supposed to be this… disorienting, when you do this? I feel like I'm going to hurl in a circle…"

The feathery giggle from Yugito relieved Naruto, sensing that everything was just fine as she decided to explain for the benefit of everyone present, "While most people don't notice this feeling except when they Bio-Gattai for the first time, for Jinchuuriki… it's a little different. You see, it's easy for us to handle the Bio-Gattai, so used are we to being on a similar wavelength to our Bijuu Organoid, and the closest Jinchuuriki-Bijuu pairs can even think to each other without speaking, so Bio-Gattaing isn't really all that difficult."

"It's doing that and Gattaing with our Organoids that gives us the 'worsened' disorientation that most people feel when Bio-Gattaing with a rather powerful or unfamiliar Zoid, and it doesn't really go away, you simply have to get used to it, and eventually you learn to be able to push yourself past letting it affect you."

"Just remember, just like most Ninja-Z can only maintain a full-on Bio-Gattai for a few hours without needing to rest, a Jinchuuriki has about one hour, tops, that they can remain fused, and for every second that you remain in that state, you have to wait twice as many seconds for a second Orga-Gattai to be used after a first, and after that you have to wait twice as long as you did before, meaning 1 second of activation for every four seconds of waiting, and it doubles each and every time you use it in succession."

"A minimum of eight hours is required to reset the time passage counter back to the base 'one second to two seconds' ratio, so you shouldn't be using it in rapid succession if you still expect to have to fight even after using it."

"Normally, it would not be this extreme for other Zoids, but most Zoids would not even be able to withstand the power overload from both a Bio-Gattai and an Orga-Gattai, in fact Jinchuuriki almost always cannot Bio-Gattai or Orga-Gattai with any Zoid that isn't particularly draining in power consumption, much less both, hence why Geno-Type Zoids are perfect for us. In the past, Organoids not created from the Bijuu could only stay fused for very short and set periods, while with us, our Organoids can help adapt out Zoids to better handle the Orga-Gattai."

"For me, Ni, and the Geno Hydra, we have mastered the Orga-Gattai to the point that our max time limit for a single Gattai session extends to an extra hour, with the same exact pattern of doubly-increasing waiting periods to perform another one. I would imagine there is more too it, but we'd require an expert on Geno-Type Zoids, or Zoids similar to Geno-Types."

Indeed, who?

"I believe… I may have that experience…"

And that was when the mystery pair, that had remained hidden from the others, decided to make their entrance.

Casually walking out from the trees were a pair of individuals clad with black cloaks adorned with red clouds, and both of them had their faces covered by their straw hats which had… bells dangling from them?

Really, were they circus performers from the last Zoidiad?

As they took off their hats, not even bothered by the threatening posture of everyone else in Naruto's' 'group', even with their Zoids at their sides, they both noticed that the term bizarre really did seem to stick with them. Really, orange and blue hair, and what was with the piercings?

It really did seem like the Zoidiad clowns had come to bother them for something.

Up until the moment Naruto managed to catch a glimpse of the orange-haired person's eyes… and saw an almost exact mirror image of his own eyes staring right back at him, and he nearly chocked upon verbalizing that announcement, "T-t-th-th-the … the Rinnegan!"

Taking a moment to capitalize on Naruto's shock, Pein did something that was very uncharacteristic of himself, and smiled and asked politely, "Well, it seems we have more in common than just the type of Zoids we use…"

As if taking that as a signal to enter, two new Zoids appeared directly behind the strange pair of intruders. The one that seemed to belong to the blue-haired female resembled a Pegasus if anything, being mostly blue on the bottom portion of it's body and white on the upper portion, with red-shaded wings and gold-treated greaves where the cannon bones of a horse of Pegasus would be, a pair of shock cannons mounted on each side on the rear of the Zoid facing forward, and to top it all of, the Zoid had an elongated horn on it's head that was almost assuredly it's primary weapon, all in all making it be some combination of an armored unicorn and Pegasus.

But the other Zoid no doubt belonged to the auburn-haired man with the same eyes as Naruto, for it was essentially the same kind of Zoid that existed among the Geno-Type and Fury-Type Zoids, a Tyrannosaurus-based Zoid that was mostly blue with orange… panels, for there was no other word to describe the strange parts of the Zoid that appeared at certain points around the Zoid's design, and in perfect honesty, it looked actually less intimidating than his own Des Genosaurer.

Naruto knew better.

Oh he knew, just by looking into the eyes of his counterpart that he stood no chance if he fought now… he could somehow sense it, and looking at the man told him that the man himself knew he sensed it, and as if not having done anything to warrant suspicion, the auburn-haired man with the Rinnegan chuckled and remarked, "Why so serious?"

The only person whom didn't look completely disturbed was the auburn-haired man's partner, whom seemed to have an eerily familiar expression upon her visage, one that many took notice of, and as if turning to confirm their speculations, saw nearly the same exact expression being delivered by Yugito, whom had moved herself into a position where she could best support and defend Naruto if necessary… the same position style that the women was utilizing, except a lot more refined and with the experience of having done it countless times before.

Deciding that this confrontation needed to go somewhere, Iruka, the most sensible of Naruto's ragtag group of misfits, promptly cut to the point and asked the question that everyone knew was just waiting to be asked, "Who are you, and why are you here?"

The only response made was a wagging of the finger as the auburn-haired man seemed to chastise Iruka for some unknown mistake, and then replied, "That is rather rude behavior, do you treat all your guests this way?", and even Naruto couldn't help but snicker at the irony of someone else being the teacher and Iruka being the 'bad apple.'

Once again, as if he was simply expecting them to just obey his wishes, he beckoned them as he walked away, saying, "Come, my associates and I have prepared a banquet for us to discuss certain… interests that we have in your group, I believe Kisame is cooking… he makes the best ramen-"

No sooner had the word 'ramen' been mentioned, that Naruto had abandoned all hesitation and zoomed past the cloaked Rinnegan user to the scent of ramen that he indeed did detect, and all the way he shouted, "-", until he escaped away from earshot, and the orange haired man had to suppress a belly-laugh as he merely grinned while elaborating, "And here people thought that I liked my ramen a bit too much…"

For the first time, the blue-haired woman broke form and sighed at the unspoken meaning behind that statement…

Nagato would have another excuse to go on a ramen-binge; for who knows how long?

Glancing towards the others, asking the unneeded 'coming?' gesture, the others of Naruto's troupe reluctantly followed into the proverbial dragon's den.


"Damn, Mr. Fishman! I think this might even be better than Ichiraku's!"

"From what I hear about that place from Itachi, isn't that supposed to be famous as the best ramen restaurant… ever?"

"…yeah, but don't tell anyone about this, but I really like your ramen ever better than their's…"

"Well… thanks for the compliment kid, who knows, after this whole business of ours, I might open a restaurant of my own."

"…I agree, Kisame."

"See, even Itachi-jisan agrees! Kisame-sama's ramen is the best there is!"

"Oh come now Naruto, it can't be that good, can it?"

"Don't knock it till you try it, here, see for yourself."

"Well alight, just a little… woah… this is… wow…"

"Iruka-sensei… are you okay?"

"Hey look Sasori-danna, that guy is totally tripping, I knew it all along that Kisame laced all his cooking with some drug or acid or something!"

"Shut up, Deidara and just keep your mouth shut, which from what I understand is four times as hard for you to do as it is for anyone else."

"…huh? Why four times?"

"I believe that he was referring to the fact that with your… condition, you possess four mouths, hence it logically being four times as difficult to keep them all closed."

"…go blow it out your hole, Uchiha!"

"Hey, don't insult Itachi-jisan!"

"Hahahahaha, oh that's fucking rich! 'Uncle Itachi?' What did you do, raise the kid?"

"As a mater of fact, I did."



"…yeah right, and I supposed that purple-haired woman over there whom I heard hates the mere mention of Orochimaru's name, in fact, actually considers him her loving dad."

"I'll take that bet!"

"Fine you little brat, it's easy money for me then!"

"…Hidan you can be really stupid at times, but betting against Naruto is simply put… the WORST thing you could EVER DO!"

"Why is that, Itachi?"

"Because, Kakuzu, Naruto has made over a thousand bets in his lifetime…"

"Hey purple-haired woman! Do you know a guy named Orochimaru? He used to be- urk! Get's your hands off me!"

"You know my otou-san? Where did you see him? Where, where, where, WHERE?"

"Calm down Anko-chan, you're going to strangle him to death."

"If only that were possible…"

"Up your's, Kakuzu!

"Well you see now why Naruto is legend? He has never lost a bet, not once."

"Oh yeah… Fuck! I lost to a sniveling brat!"

"Pay up, Hidan."

"Fucking money-lover Kakuzu… fine, here's your stupid money brat…"


" Go and wipe that smirk off your fucking little face before I do if for you!"

"Why should I?"

"Jashin hates assholes…"

"He ought to know, it takes one to know one."


"…Hidan has a dog, a still-living dog…?"

"Oh, shut up Konan!"

"Remember your manners, Hidan."

"…sigh, yes Leader-sama."


"…Grrr… I'm sorry… Konan…"

"Much better…"

"…Itachi… is there any way I could… erm, utilize your nephew to…"

"To bankrupt casinos?"


"…go ahead…"


"It's not that big a deal, and you're not the first to take notice. Orochimaru usually took advantage of Naruto's luck when he needed some quick and hard cash, Anko immediately began taking Naruto to the local casinos in Konoha to afford her dango expenditures on her pitiful salary, I even used Naruto's unmatched talent for luck to attain the money needed to hire the private tutors that he and I used…"

"AHA! So he DID have tutors!"

"Iruka… I think my tou-san and Itachi here could also have counted as private tutors themselves, so it's a moot point…"

"...oh yeah, but man! I had always wanted to prove that Naruto didn't listen to me and avoided class, beyond just some simply inability to bear the academic curriculum, but I knew the truth: you just didn't like my classes!"

"Of course! How exactly would knowing anything about the Shodaime Hokage's sister be able to have helped me do anything, unless I tried coercing him into doing things for me via blackmail of having an affair with her, but whom would actually have done that?"

Everyone at the make-shift table suddenly began noticing the much-too-innocent whistling of the mysterious cloaked member with the black hair and gloves and an orange-spiral mask, which to anyone who understood the horribly unsuccessful whistling ploy… and what it actually meant when someone used it, caused everyone, even the stone-clad Sasori, to exhibit the infamous anime-style sweatdrop of embarrassment, exasperation, confusion, and/or shock.

"...what? Tobi is a good boy?"

"But apparently Madara is a bad boy… a very, very, naughty bad boy that sleeps with the sisters of his enemies…"

"Deidara-sempai is so mean to Tobi!"

"Shut up!"

"Um, hey, Uzu-san?"

"…there aren't any Uzumaki here, besides you Naruto."

"Sorry, I meant the person wearing that spiral mask."

"…are you talking to Tobi, or Madara-san? Tobi is a good boy… Madara is a cranky old man…"

"Um, Madara?"

"… very well, you had a question, Naruto?"

"…we're not enemies, right?"

"I don't believe we are, do you? And why do you ask?"

"…I don't want you sleeping with Anko-chan!"

The roar of laughter around the table only made both Anko and Madara/Tobi more embarrassed, and luckily Madara/Tobi has his mask to prevent himself from being laughed at any further, as the co-founder of Konohagakure and the legendary Madara Uchiha, did not blush!

…even if the girl did share a unnoticeable few features of Shira-Yuri…

…come to think of it, on the subject of resemblance…

"Hey, Madara-san, why are you staring at Yugito-chan like that?"

Instead of replying, he seemed to star at her a little more, then turned to stare at Itachi, and then, turned to a picture of himself… from the days of the founding of Konoha, with his wild hair that was strangely reminiscent of a certain character from another anime whose name starts with 'R', and this picture was enough to prompt a wolf whistle from Konan, much to Nagato's chagrin.

So what if Madara used to have long hair like that?

…blasted Uchiha and their genetic pre-disposition towards exhibiting ultra-bishounen-characteristics…

Madara then decided, that his discovery was best left to be revealed later, and for now, he needed a distraction… oh yes, the whole point of the meeting Naruto's band of misfits!


"Okay, we can continue the fun and games later, but we still need to address just what exactly we have come and revealed ourselves to you for."

Surprisingly Naruto, instead of letting Iruka or - god forbid - Anko to speak, decided that this was in a sense his group, and thus he needed to speak on it's behalf. "I'm assuming that it doesn't involve anything that falls within the range of 'legal', and knowing that both Itachi-jisan and Orochi-tou-san have at least previously associated with this group, I can also assume that there is a certain 'crowd' of individuals that can be allowed to know and associate with this 'association."

"Heh, very astute, and yes, this is really as far as you get in terms of what would be deemed 'illegal', but for you to hear the rest, we will basically have to induct you as a part of ourse-"


To say that everyone was shocked by the sudden acceptance of the terms require to hear the information would be quite an insult to the term of understatement, as even Madara seemed thrown off by Naruto's most unexpected answer, and living true to his nature as pure, unpredictable, chaos, Naruto further explained, "You performed a multi-step plan that occurred well before this meeting even began , so that we would reach this stage."

"First, while my group was traveling, I had - unlike the others - noticed a sudden decrease in the number of pursuing ninja, mercenaries, and bounty hunters that before had plagued us to the point that we couldn't stay in long durations in any particular area. At first, I was ready to assume that they had finally decided to stop wasting their resources, then I remembered the saying that, 'a Jinchuuriki at worst can equal a hundred men, and at best a Jinchuuriki can equal a hundred armies', and there was absolutely no way they would ever give up on chasing up, even if it reached the point of us moving away from this land, our pursuers would follow to the very ends of the earth, and we would have no peace."

"So why the sudden shift?"

"I also began to notice that the closer we came to the Land of Rain, as we are now, and in particular, the borders of Amegakure, the frequency and intensity of these pursuits decreased at an exponential rate."

"Now, I'm no historian, but even I know that handing around anywhere near Amegakure is bad news, and Hanzou, the leader, could give me a run for my money in being the single most paranoid fuck there is… by the way, there is an explosive tag on each of your legs and under your seat, and don't bother removing them, they will all automatically explode… except for you Deidara, I know how much you love explosions, so if you try to do so, instead you'll be shocked with enough electricity to keep your out for two days minimum…"

Ignoring the sudden incredulous looks from the various people around Naruto, the young boy continued, "And even I knew to memorize to heart that Hanzou would kill even a flea if it wasn't an Ame ninja and it approached his village, and he didn't even trust his own men not to kill him, the maniac…"

"So then, at the very least we should have been spotted and then chased out, or at worst, targeted as 'sport' by Hanzou, seeing as no doubt our villages have marked the Jinchuuriki as S-Class Missing-Nin threats due to our simple status, and I'm leaning more towards the former to have likely happened…"

"So then, why didn't it happen?"

"Why would getting closer to Ame not only make our lives safer and easier, but also free of the normal repercussions of anyone approaching 'Hanzou's Ame.'?"

"One of three possibilities made its way to my 'theory-box', if you will."

"Theory 1: Hanzou, or whomever else is behind the scenes, for whatever reason - ranging from being coerced, to wanting to gain our allegiance, to simply not caring - left us to our own devices while still maintaining the normal policies to all others."

"The problem with that theory: the very man himself, Hanzou is too paranoid to even chance an allegiance in that manner, he has never allowed himself to be coerced by things like blackmail or bribery, and he most certainly does care who sits outside his village, to the point that security in Ame is second to none."

"Theory 2: If we exclude ourselves as a direct influence, then an unknown individual, group of individuals, entity, organization, or combination of such was 'clearing the frozen snow' for us, so to speak, and these 'third parties' have a vested interest in us, and for whatever reason, Hanzou feared this unknown party to the point that he did not act against us while sitting almost directly outside his village."

"The problem with this one is the same as with the first one, as this is Hanzou, a man whom had granted the Sannin, my otou-san included, whom taught me a great deal of what I currently know, a man who can not be easily intimidated by anyone."

"Which leads me to point out that I've been talking about Hanzo in the past tense, if you had paid attention.

"Theory 3: One of the frequent civil wars in Ame took a different turn than the others, and somehow Hanzou was killed or incapacitated to the point that he could not act in the ruling position of Ame."

"The problem with this is that, if Hanzou really was dead or incapacitated beyond the ability to rule, why wasn't it know? Sure, Ame was always a bit segregated from the rest of the affairs of the Elemental Nations, but news travels faster than ninja sometimes, often several times as fast, and at least there should have been a murmur about things in Ame if people could have caught wind."

"…but then, what if some of those theories supported everything… if we just mixed and matched theory part with reality…"

"And here is what I came up with: a group of rebels in Ame had managed to overthrow Hanzou, and instill a new reign over Amegakure. But the background behind the victory lies within an organization that supported the rebels from the shadows, and either certain distinct higher ups and/or even the ruler of Ame his or herself had connections to that organization, and if word about the change in power in Ame became known, then eventually, eventually… connections would be made, dots would be connected, and just like me and what took a few months, in a few years the other villages spy networks would have uncovered the connection between Ame and this secret organization."

"Your secret organization feels that for some reason it does not want to have a public image of any kind, leading for me to believe that this organization has a very dark and lucrative goal, one that is so hush-hush that Ame itself was basically locked down, and all those whom attempted to venture out of Ame whom might have possessed any possible leak to spill, would have been 'taken care of…', correct?"

Nobody said a word, so shocked at Naruto's deduction skills, but he wasn't done…not by a long shot.


"And where do my 'misfits' come in, you ask? If you recall the news, the Jinchuuriki of all the villages have been ousted out, and let me tell you that sticks out like a rotted, gaping maggot-infested sore, because villages hold onto their Jinchuuriki more dearly than today's girls hold onto their virginity… if you exclude fangirls, whom I believe exist as an entirely separate species of beings, and much less intelligent.", joked Naruto as a jab at Sakura and the unjustified hell she made him go through to stand out and catch the attention of Itachi's younger brother Sasuke, and the general sentiment of fangirls drew a morbid chuckle from all those present, but for the most part, they were too busy watching Naruto wield the proverbial 'Eye of Providence', which had no relation to his Rinnegan…

"The Jinchuuriki's abandonment at first could look like a simple scare tactic and no more realistic than a kabuki show's effects on the world, which everyone seems to have suddenly picked up in some sad attempt to show off whom has the most testosterone. However, I've made it a point to learn as much as I can about everything going on around me while revealing as little about what is happening with me to everything else, and this becomes crucial to my conjecture."

"After three consecutive Shinobi World Wars, the Elemental Nations have been experiencing a much-desired era of peace, and during peace-time the need for the military to run at full-speed decreases, and thus you move from war-time armament to peace-time disarmament, and with that disarmament the threat of war fades, thus becoming a self-sufficient cycle of lessening threats and military reduction. After all, what use is a military in an era of peace?"

"But then… they, being the countries that fund the ninja villages, don't have the resources to keep pushing for a more powerful military, a more powerful village, and thus what happens when you need warriors to fight, but your main reserve of warriors is young, untrained, and under supported?"

"You go for the cheaper and more expendable solution like in the days of old, hiring mercenaries like the countries used to hire clans, after all nobody would miss a dead mercenary. And just like the clans, there is always a certain bunch of mercenaries that stick out and get the best jobs, but the thing about mercenaries is that: even when they're famous, they're not."

"You don't see any mercenaries in the Bingo Book, because none of them are officially ninja or former ninja, traitorous or otherwise, and that allows for a sense of anonymity that could allow for an organization of mercenaries to go around and take the work of ninja villages, and what better way to get those jobs than to get the same results for a fraction of the cost? That's the beauty of economics: you can choose to get the same product for a lesser price depending on who you deal with in order to get it."

"Once I gathered together that whole Ame theory and the shadow organization, suddenly things began to click, pieces of the puzzle that were missing I started to find, and the entire picture became ever so clearer."

"I tried to put out several ideas of the connection between the weakening of the villages, the escaping Jinchuuriki, the revolution in Ame, and most of all… why have we suddenly been given a mysterious breather in our attempts to escape notice."

"The picture as a single unified entity, was more frightening than all of the pieces individually could have represented together."

"The collapse… of the ninja system."


Nobody said a word, the Akatsuki too shocked by Naruto's seemingly unprecedented ability to connect the dots than nobody could even see, let alone piece together, and the rest of his own troup shocked at the kind of people they were dealing with.

The Akatsuki.

People whom wanted to bring down the system of villages, to bring down the position of the ninja itself…

And reduce it to… what?

"For whatever reason, this organization, if it was connected or even directly controlling the mercenary groups that had been costing villages their main source of income known as missions, then possibly the weakening of the villages might not be an unintended side effect of the mercenaries rise, but instead the intended result of a cause and effect chain.", Naruto continued his explanation, further explaining the actions and reasoning behind the Akatsuki's actions.

"The villages, too worried about inciting war and maintaining peace, will put less effort in honing in their soldiers and source of power, the ninja, and often it is war that hones the weapon that ninja are known as, war created ninja like the Sannin and the Kiiroi no Senko, not times of peace. Thus, the overall quality of the average ninja, no matter to which village you went to, would pale in comparison to the capabilities of the ninja of old."

"Zoids are also an influence in this equation, as while it is preferred for Zoid pilots to have ninja training to perform such feats as Bio Gattai, they are not required, indeed, with people like me running around who could hide from even the Sandaime Hokage and never be caught unless I wanted to be found and on pure skill alone, and in this day and age, Zoids are the main tools of war of this modern age, the ninja nowadays just offer their support and chakra to the Zoids, and as I mentioned, the overall quality of ninja is decreasing, and thus the benefits and advantages held by chakra-using pilots have also begun to slip and fall."

"Thus, ninjas have slowly and slowly been struggling to keep their place in the world,, and for whatever reason, if there was such an organization that intended to bring about something like the collapse of the village and even the ninja system as a whole, they would never be able to let slip of their plans, or else the villages would possibly find some way to act, even band together and form an alliance in order to stop the threat that this organization represents, in both the humane manner and the manner relating to the honoring of traditions and the way of life that ninjas have held…"

"So then, what do the Jinchuuriki have to do with all of this nonsense?"

"Simple: everything."

"A single Jinchuuriki can perform feats and commit acts that even many ninja at or above the level of Kage could only dream of doing, if ninja are superhuman, kekkei genkai users are ultrahuman, then Jinchuuriki are basically demi-gods, because when a Jinchuuriki is calculated into anything, you cannot expect anything except the unexpected, and as my quote from earlier described, even an untrained Jinchuuriki can just be turned into a rampaging beat that destroys all by flinging around it's Bijuu's power like a toy, and be just as much if not more useful than entire generations of ninja."

"As Jinchuuriki, we're feared and loathed because we exist at a level that is beyond natural, as while users of kekkei genkai or clan techniques are seen as heroes, we are seen as demons, because Jinchuuriki are powerful, too powerful, and all but a select few never learn to trust one, and even then, there is no guarantee that Jinchuuriki would find happiness… In fact, some villages take advantage of this tragedy, using the emotional instability and the weak-willed state of such Jinchuuriki to brainwash them into becoming mindless puppets to dance on the strings of it's master until it outlives it's usefulness."

"In short, the villages have come to rely on Jinchuuriki when all else fails, and if those pieces were removed from the 'game board', then it only becomes a matter of time and secrecy before the ninja system collapses under it's own weight."

"So if this secret organization was able to remove these threats, then all the better, right?"


"But then, here comes an anomaly: me."

"A person with a significant clan background whom were among the greatest pioneers in fuuinjutsu, a pedigree that basically guarantees that I and any future children I have will carry unfathomable potential, an innate ability to pilot with such skill that at my weakest and with several handicaps I could take out opponents that nobody in this room could even try to claim credit to in my youth… and Itachi-jisan and my otou-san can back me up on this, a unique Genosaurer with it's own incredible pedigree and a Charged Particle Cannon so destructive that I'm actually afraid to even test it… let alone fight with it, a Doujutsu said to be possessed by the very creator of Ninjutsu itself and the most powerful shinobi ever known, and this all doesn't even consider I'm the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi, now reincarnated as the lovable oaf Kyuu over there…", Naruto remarked, drawing laughs all around and an annoyed yet playful growl from Kyuu himself.

"Yeah, I'm not stupid, to try to pass on recruiting me, would be like the current Jiraiya saying no to a one-night-stand-where-anything-goes with his teammate Tsunade… in her physical prime…", drawing a startling laugh, from, off all people, Nagato, whom began rolling on the floor, unable to hold it in, because it really took someone whom knew the Toad Sennin to be able to truly appreciate the full brunt of humor in that joke, hence why Naruto knew about it, after all his adoptive father had been teammates with the two individuals mentioned in the joke.

"What's more, in addition to having Iruka and Anko, whom you've probably figured out that they are Anbu thanks to Itachi-jisan's time as an Anbu before he defected from Konoha, you also recognize my… er…", and for the first time in this conversation, Naruto's silky smooth tongue caught itself, because… he really didn't know what to call Yugito…

Unfortunately, the girl seemed to have some supernatural ability to speak with her own motor mouth - with the most startling of words - at the worst of times.

"What Naruto-ousama is attempting to say is that, as a God, he requires divine followers, and I act as his Angel, his divine messenger, and everything I am is an extension of himself."

The silence that followed really disturbed Naruto, but for what reason he didn't know.

Then, Kisame was the first to break the ice, and squeal in a very high-pitched voice, "…there are… two of them… the world really is going to Hell in a hand basket…"

Even Madara gave a strange long glance between Naruto and Yugito, and Nagato and Konan, and then he asked off-hand, "Does every person with the Rinnegan gain a God complex, and their closest non-familial female associate become their crazy supporter?"

Iruka could only grasp at straws and ask, "…you mean, Naruto and Yugito's… er, relationship, isn't unique?"

Nagato himself answered, now eyeing the two Jinchuuriki in a new light, much to Naruto's discomfort, "Apparently, it's a bit more common than one, and hopefully less common than three."

Everyone else shuddered in agreement, for fear of what would happen should the day come that either Naruto or Nagato announced themselves as expecting fathers.

One God-complex Rinnegan user was enough to crack the dam, two was already past the limit that the dam could hold, three would destroy whatever remained of the damn that the first two left.

After all, one of these Rinnegan users had somehow, without using anything other than a bunch of isolated facts and events, managed to piece together the existence and primary goal of the Akatsuki organization…

Either they had seriously slipped up…

Or this kid was something that even the Sage of Six Paths would have been dumbstruck by…

Madara decided to cut straight to the chase, having enjoyed the… rather surreal ability of Naruto to deduct even a large majority of Akatsuki's plans without having any direct knowledge or hint of it's existence, and after finding enough of his - rather damaged pride, following Naruto's analysis - to talk, he lamented, "Well, to be perfectly honest… you already touched essentially everything that this organization is founded on…

"But there is another part: what we plan to do, following the collapse of the ninja system and the villages."

"We desire to bring an era of peace, a true peace, and not this mere ceasefire that's bound to erupt into war once again, because so long as ninjas exist, the pain of war will persist. Maybe it might never go away as long as humans exist, but having ninja to make it infinitely more destructive certainly doesn't help. The Sage of six Paths, the creator of Ninjutsu and the founder of the study of chakra, might have made a grave mistake when he passed on his teachings, for what has become of them?

The Sage was a pacifist above all else, and he would be disgusted to see what kind of world his techniques have been used to create, I believe he might even commit suicide, so distraught to learn that what he meant to be used to protect and defend… has been corrupted to battle and kill…

We wish to realize the Sage's original intentions, a peaceful world, where none will be forced to bear the pain of war, where people can live without fearing that someone could come in and kill them for something as mundane as money.

A world that people such as you, sacrifices that have been spat and made in vain, victims such as you whom gave and gave, and do have done so unwillingly and without appreciation…"

"A world… where Jinchuuriki can live as normal, human beings."

The words the man gave… they were too hypnotic to Naruto, the very image that his mind created when he heard these words stirred a yearning in his heart, something that he had never truly realized up until his time, when he was living in Konoha… he had taken everything for granted, all the pain and misery were just things that he could not do anything about.

That was a lie.

He knew, it was the very reason he had left Konoha, awakened the Rinnegan in the first place.

He saw the truth: people didn't want to change.

They would fight and fight, if meant to keep something of theirs… even if that something was bad for them in the long run, or even worse in it's costs to maintain than even the sacrifices they made to keep it. They wanted to keep things the way they were, because they were afraid of change, unwilling to chance nothing more than the possibility that they might have to do a little more than necessary than if things stayed the same.

People truly learned to trust one another when your lives depended on their watching your back, because if you couldn't, all you had was yourself, and that was something that very few could live with.

But even that trust would dissipate once the threat was gone.

But what remained almost irrevocably constant?


People hated things, they hated the things their parents told them to hate, they hated the things their friends would hate, they hated the things their next-door neighbors told them to hate, they hated the things their lovers told them to hate, they hated the things their children to hate, and the most common case was that they hated things that society dictated they should hate.

People hated the things others hated.

It was easy to make a decision, but hard to reflect on that decision, and even harder to change that decision.

Pride was a terrible fault of people, and there were many who simply didn't change because they couldn't accept the fact that indeed their might be something wrong with them.

Humans were selfish, and everyone wanted to live, even if it meant putting down someone else if it kept them afloat.

There was a time that Naruto believed that he could change people.

But you couldn't force change on people.

You could only force three things on people which would have any real impact on them, and possibly change them.




Of these three, death only forced the ultimate change, a change that they simply could not handle. Death was a change that did very little to correct anything but the worst of the unchangeable.

On the other hand, pleasure, the act of pleasing others, which could encompass anything from trying to make them feel better about themselves, to helping them do something they found difficult, and even to giving physical pleasure itself, it was one of the very few things that could work… but it wasn't effective on large-scale operations. You couldn't realistically sex up the entire world if you wanted to bring peace, because eventually people would get bored of pleasure.

Oh, the last one… it was effective… quite effective, in fact it was something so successful that Kami herself had implemented it as a natural deterrent in living beings from putting themselves at risk, as you wouldn't know not to put your hand in fire until you started feeling the serious side effects, and you might have burned your hand on before you start losing consciousness from blood loss, but with pain, you would draw your hand back the instant your touched fire by accident, and you would learn not to do so.

The way these people were operating…

Naruto himself made his observation vocal, "…you intend to use pain to bring peace to the world."

Nobody had ever seen Nagato smile like that, even Madara and Konan felt disturbed by the sheer radiance on his face as he looked at Naruto like he had just found his beloved long-lost son.

Madara felt that he had to get this meeting wrapped up, he didn't want to see what a happy Nagato could do…, "Yes, you might ask your fellow Rinnegan user about that… later. Yes, we intend to bring peace, even if it means we force it on an unwilling, warlike world. Which is why we ask for your assistance… but first, an introduction…"

The first was the person Naruto had been happiest to meet, literally having tackled him upon spotting him, a young man approaching, but not quite close to his twenties, whom possessed a youthful appearance and the typical bishounen face of a strong inheritor of the Uchiha 'kekkei genkai', bearing long black hair wrapped in a ponytail and black eyes framed by two bangs hanging from the front of his hair, and thus it was safe to look at him, what with him having foregone the need to use his Sharingan at the moment and thus not possessing red eyes at this moment, because unknown to most… he had attained certain traits of a prankster, and wasn't above using a Sharingan-induced genjutsu to radically alter his appearance to someone else's.

"You are already acquainted with me, but for everyone else's benefit, I'll give a more thorough introduction. I am Uchiha Itachi, I was a shinobi of Konoha before I defected, I used to be an Anbu Captain and before that I raised Naruto from the middle of his childhood… after the villages drove Orochimaru into leaving it to exact revenge; that and save Naruto and Anko from the prejudice of Konoha, which is almost the same story as with me, having wanted to save Naruto from damnation, but unable to do so from the inside. I massacred my clan, whom would have proven a serious obstacle in my being able to give Naruto such a life, what with their desire to have Naruto marry into their clan to add power to their future generations. I then fled Konoha, joined Madara's organization after he approached me, and now I basically serve as Kisame's partner and act as the logically-minded portion of our organization."

The next person to speak was the person responsible for preparing this banquet, the one whom Naruto had discovered could produce ramen more enchanting than Ichiraku itself, the tallest member of the group and from a distance the most distinguishable, having both blue skin and blue spiked hair, and having what looked like gills on his face and fishlike eyes, the man grinned with teeth… sharp teeth that made one think of something like a shark or a barracuda, and to top it all off, he had a strange wrapped object that was held by a strap dangling from his back, and strangely very faint snores could be heard being issued from it.

"I am Hoshigaki Kisame, I was a shinobi of Kiri before I defected, I used to be part of the Seven Shinobi Swordsmen, and before that I used to be part of the secret intelligence squad which meant that I had to protect information and keep it safe no matter what… even if it meant having to kill fellow members of my village… something I had to do more often than you might want to believe… I really didn't like this whole cycle of deceit where I was both supporting and betraying my village, and I couldn't tell where the truth began and the lies ended. Madara himself came to me, understanding my plight, and after I decided to make a statement in killing some of those people whom I had… personal issues with, I left my village and joined this organization, from there I became Itachi's partner and… as you have discovered… the one whom provides the equally tasty and healthy meals that our group has taken to carrying as replacements for ration bars. Oh yes, and on my back is my sword, Samehada… Samehada is sleeping, so you can say 'hi' later…"

Chuckling at the revelation that their organization was spoiled when it came to eating, the next person to introduce himself was the only blonde of their group, whom had blue eyes and a ponytail in a fashion disturbingly similar to a certain few living in a clan in Konoha, that and the fact that he could have passed for a girl as well as a member of that clan with his appearance did nothing to help make him look rather eccentric.

"I am Deidara… don't ask about my family name, I was a shinobi of Iwa before I defected, I was the student of the old buzzard Onoki a.k.a. the Third Tsuchikage, and before that a member of the explosion corps, I prefer a quick introduction like my art tends to be, and my art by the way is found in explosions… unfortunately I did a little delving into a forbidden Kinjutsu, and basically I broke the law and took the technique and had to run to save my skin, and I had already reached S-Rank status for my crime and was planning on going on a little… bombing for money career, Hehehe, but before I could do that, I was made an offer I couldn't refuse… jackass Itachi and his fucking genjutsu… and here I am with you guys, serving as Sasori's partner and acting as our organizations pyromaniac… un."

Unlike the previous speaker, the next speaker didn't seem rather extraordinary, simply being covered almost entirely from head to toe and wearing a bandana and possessing cornrows for hair… until he seemed to stop and then collapse, as a young-looking man with red hair and brownish eyes whom seemed a little… dull… too dull…

"I am Sasori… and see Deidara before you ask my about my family name… {Deidara: Prick}, I was a shinobi of Suna before I defected, my life story… well your former village's White Fang robbed me of my parents when I was young {Deidara: Boo-hoo…} shut up Deidara, nobody cares about you! {Deidara: Bite me!} No thanks, you'll probably blow up in my face. {Deidara: …ass.} …anyways, not much to say about me really, my personal issues aside, I ended up killing the Sandaime Kazekage and using him for my own forbidden technique… and I'll just say it involves puppets… as for my art, unlike the two-year old idiot who likes anything that goes 'boom' {Deidara: You just don't GET it!}, I prefer things of a more… permanent existence, I find the greatest example of art to be those things that can remain eternally on this planet… {Deidara: You just like things that can grow old and stay old!} Shut up! I'll end my introduction before the blonde suicidal terrorist tests my patience, by saying that joined this organization by choice, that I act as Deidara's babysitter {Deidara: Fuck you!} and partner… if you call it that, and I act as our organization's spy master… any you don't want to find out if I can do all the things the spies in movies can do… you really don't want that…"

On to a less morbid individual… strange considering who was next on the 'list', the person to take his turn in introducing himself was the man whom had exhibited the greatest display of chronic rudeness and foul language, and many suspected he had something like Tourettes or something, and with purple eyes and silver hair with a strange pendant… and a triple-bladed scythe that looked just as nasty as it probably felt when used on someone.

"Well assholes and al, my name is Hidan and the only family name I can claim is that of my lord Jashin-sama, and you will all do well to show some respect to my lord… that includes the dumb blond here {Deidara: Hey, what gives?} …I was referring to the other dumb blond, idiot… I was a shinobi from Yu… you probably haven't heard of it… {Deidara: I heard of it… from your mother!} FUCK YOU! Right now I don't feel like saying my life story, all that matters is that now I serve Jashin-sama and sacrifice in his name! Praise Jashin-sama! {Deidara: Up yours, Jashin, where's my blessing then, huh?} I'LL KILL YOU! …LET GO OF ME KAKUZU! FINE! I'll kill you later… anyways… to wrap things up, I joined this organization because Jashin-sama told me there it was a good decision… (Deidara: Does he tell you with which hand to wipe your ass?} Shut up! I bet you can't even do that, because you're afraid of tasting your own SHIT if you're not careful! I'm the partner of the greedy jerk who won't let me kill that brain-dead heathen, and my job is to deal with our organization's problems! Fucking hell, I'm going to stab your when you're not looking Deidara!"

Sighing at the rather brash behavior of his partner, the next 'contestant' was the person whom had seemed interested in acquiring Naruto's assistance in acquiring vast amounts of money for, er… lumber futures… yeah, well unlike the profanity-abusing silver-haired maniac, beyond having a noticeable tan and strange green eyes with red where the white portion of his eyes should be, nothing much was noticeable… other than he has covering up his face and head even more than Sasori's faux puppet body.

"Before this introduction process takes forever, my name is Kakuzu with a family name with no bearing of your concern, I was a shinobi of Taki, my gripe with life was that I failed to kill your former village's Shodaime Hokage {Madara: If I couldn't do it, how the hell were you supposed to?} …ignoring that, I failed and was harshly punished despite having had a perfect mission record until that one mess-up, and I couldn't stand it… so I took their village's secret prized technique and killed them with it… and I'm pretty sure staying in the village after doing that would have been hazardous to your health… {Hidan: No, really? A gerbil could figure that out! = Madara: Shut up, Hidan!} Thank you, I left, valuing my life, and from there I became a bounty hunter until I was propositioned to join this organization, and knowing about it I was inclined, like you Naruto, into investigating, and before I knew it… I was in, and I will admit it has it's perks… even if there are some unsavory things I've had to deal with… {Hidan: You KILLED two of your previous partners!} Well excuse me? The first one had become a little too ambitious to learning fuuinjutsu the short way without knowing the inner workings of it, and he was so disfigured that I simply granted him a mercy, the second one tried to take me money… NOBODY takes my money, and gets to live the rest of their life like nothing happened… sigh, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10... That's better… as you can tell I'm the partner who has to keep a tight grip on Hidan's leash {Hidan: Fuck you!} I don't swing that way, sorry… {Hidan: Ass.} and my acting role is the person who manages our finances, because otherwise these idiots would end up spending all the money on things like fucking pocky and cherry bombs and other useless bullshit…"

Madara waved his hand and remarked, "Zetsu isn't here right now, he's off doing a mission, but you'll become acquainted with him soon enough."

With there only being two other people besides Madara to be introduced, on the unspoken urging of the former, the latter, which happened to obey the former in the same fashion Yugito obeyed Naruto, came up to introduce herself, being the only female of the group, and a remarkably beautiful one at that, having a small piercing under her bottom lip, blue eyeliner, and a white rose to compliment her blue hair and amber-colored eyes, the sole female by herself easily made up for the lack of other of her gender in the group with how enchanting she looked, and at the same time, one could tell she could kill you in an instant in the most unexpected way… and she also looked like she wouldn't do so much as breathe if her Rinnegan counterpart didn't say she could, much liker her blond-haired female Jinchuuriki opposite.

"I am Konan… no family name… I was not actually ever inducted as a shinobi, but if I had been it would have been as a member of Ame, I am and have always been the support of Nagato and our deceased friend Yahiko, we once knew families but lost them in the Second Shinobi World War, and as orphans we met and have been together since… even Yahiko, if only in spirit, we actually were briefly trained by the Sannin of Konoha, Jiraiya, and under him I began the basis of my training in mastery of… paper… and do not insult me on the basis that I am a woman or that I use paper of all things, because I can kill just as easily as Deidara can, but without the needless background noise that would defy the whole point of us being ninja, masters of stealth and shadows… {Deidara: Hidan isn't stealthy!} Hidan can't die and doesn't need to worry about that… unfortunately… {Hidan: I'd insult you, but your lover might find a way to do just that.} …s-shut up! Well, getting back on track, we eventually did manage to begin our own revolution and managed to topple Hanzou, but in the process… Yahiko died. There isn't a day we don't miss him, and we fight to keep his dream for a world without peace, a world where Ame can have peace, we do everything to keep his sacrifice ongoing, eternal. Well… anyways, it was Yahiko and we that started our organization in the first place, so we're technically the founders… Madara has simply taken a small thing and made it bigger than we could have realized… my partner, just as you blonde girl are the Angel to your God, so to am I the Angel to my God you see standing before you… but it is his right alone to introduce himself, and my acting role in this organization is to keep the others in line…"

The last one and the one to have discovered Naruto and his gang stepped up, and everyone held a breath because now, only now they could feel the presence, it was reminiscent of Naruto's… only greater, older, and more refined, and if anything it merely hinted to his own strength, which in itself made the others wonder how Naruto himself might turn out. At first glance, beyond the orange-hair and the strange piercing he adorned, nothing else could be said about this man, whom had taken a more calm and collected approach instead of the suave and charismatic man they had met earlier, and then, before he started his introduction, Naruto noticed something… odd…

"You DYED your HAIR!"

…if it wouldn't have seemed a completely greater embarrassment than being in hearing distance of that statement itself, the orange-haired man would have face-faulted, not just because of that rather unexpected mood-breaker… but the kid was actually right.

"…well you're the first besides Konan to actually notice, but she's a given… no, my natural hair color is red… and not spiky at all, but I keep it like this as a way of honoring and remembering Yahiko."

"Anyways, I am… Pein… but seeing as my illustrious image as the sole Rinnegan bearer has been shattered, it isn't that big a deal to get around using my actual name, so everyone here listen up. My real name is Nagato… well my family name… I'll just borrow whatever Naruto is using {Naruto: Hey!}, well we are related if we have the same Doujutsu, right? {Naruto: …fair enough.} …alright, as with Konan I would have been an Ame ninja if I had been a shinobi officially, my training in the ninja arts was surprised by Jiraiya himself, and I along with Konan and Yahiko became the leaders of a resistance to bring peace to Ame and end it's tyrannical rule under an uncaring leader in Hanzou… but Yahiko sacrificed his life to spare mine when Konan had been taken hostage… from then on, I devoted everything to achieving Yahiko's dream, and now Ame is ours. A little bit after that, me and Konan met Madara, whom seemed to have had his own little thing going, but he gained interest in me, explaining a bit more on how to use our kekkei genkai…"

"I imagine you'll undergo some training under him before you train directly under me Naruto, seeing as he seems to be a rather… exotic teacher… and from that arrangement our organization was truly born into it's present image, and we began collecting those we believed would suit our goal and purposes, those whom were already on the run and truly had no chance for a peaceful life. In our organization, we have partners to watch our backs, and if we exclude Orochimaru, we've never had any real betrayals between us… Anyways, my partner is Konan here, I expect Yugito will want to be your partner Naruto if and when the question comes up, and my acting role is the leader whenever Madara is not required to make sure things happen a certain way for whatever reason he knows… he's rather reclusive…"

At that point, with everyone, both from Naruto's side and Nagato's own gang, everyone waited to hear what Madara had to say, and it was then that people only then started to really pay attention to him, because at certain points it looked like Madara was different people at different times, despite not being able to see anything of his face or body, what with it being almost entirely covered, and this was considering that Kakuzu was among the audience.

Reading from his body language, Madara at times was just a wizened and demented old man who had long passed his expiration date, then at others he looked like a young male brimming with masculinity and youth that would make Maito Gai green with even… greener than his jumpsuit at that, and then there times he seemed like a mix of the two in age except more of a megalomaniacal chess master whom saw everyone else as nothing but pawns… and then there were times that he looked like a fucking six-year old kid on a radical super high.

They attributed the last part to 'Tobi.'

"…well… I'll give you the whole introduction… when you fulfill your role as a member of our organization!"

Nobody could help it, everyone face-faulted, even Ni and Kyuu, whom had been watching from the sidelines and having their own private discussion, couldn't prevent the strange pull that gravity created by the sheer exasperation Madara's attempt to avoid giving his own introduction…

And he was the one whom suggested it in the first place!

"Now, before we go on, you have earned the right to hear the name of our organization…."

For a moment, everyone paused…

"For we are… the Akatsuki."

…and for a second, time itself seemed to have suddenly stopped and died, for even the members of Akatsuki itself felt something… different, when they heard the organization's name uttered in that manner by Madara.

"Now… to inform you of your role…"

Naruto immediately replied to Madara, "…which is?"

Madara simply pointed at Yugito and indicated what he was referring to, "Your primary mission is collect the other Jinchuuriki, offer them protection and the dream of a world they of all are most deserving of, under the name and banner of Akatsuki, they will find paradise. While we could offer them pretty much anything, I doubt our words and promises would appear as nothing more than empty promises and broken words to them, but if we showed them another Jinchuuriki, one whom was already a part of this organization, this 'family' if you will, and they will be motivated to either see the validity of these promises, or at the very least, to enjoy the company of those whom have known their pain."

"The Jinchuuriki need to fight under us or even do anything for us, we simply wish they be out of the way, and the peaceful solution is always the best way to go about doing it. They get to, as Deidara once said it, 'lay low, chill, and hang with their 'homies… my God Deidara, just what kind of people are you fraternizing with?"

Before Deidara could say a single letter, Madara interrupted that question with a request, "…on second though, don't answer that, I really don't want to know."

The Akatsuki were a strange bunch, weren't they?

"The Jinchuuriki are your primary objective, and if they chose to join the Akatsuki, I am willing to make a… separate branch under your direct authority, and they would only answer to you. On top of that, I wish for you to attempt to gain allies throughout the land, both mercenaries, rouge ninja, as well as loyal ninja. Another task that is not a necessity, but it would aid our efforts extensively, is by creating your own spy network; while Sasori is our primary caretaker of that for the main branch of Akatsuki, as your own separate branch, you should have your own to be better able to predict the actions of the villages, and if need be, we could pass along information between the two information networks, so that other spy networks would get confused in what they see as a proverbial game of 'hot potato' with information involved."

"Two individuals of particular interest to me are your 'otou-san', Orochimaru, and the man in charge of the illegal operation known as Ne, or Root, or the Foundation, or whatever that old crone calls it nowadays, Itachi has told me you know him on a personal level, and we may be able to use him… so long as he is under the belief that our plans will allow for Konoha to remain standing as the sole village to survive the aftermath of Akatsuki's actions. Orochimaru was, and still is at best a goldmine of potential benefit for Akatsuki, and at worst… a liability."

Naruto and Anko's breath stopped, as they realized what that implied…

"Your otou-san knows things about Akatsuki, things we can't consciously allow his to keep so long as he attempts to 'ride around solo'… damn, Deidara, what exactly are these crazy phrases of yours?", and for a second the tension disappeared in the atmosphere and many needed to suppress a chortle or two as Deidara pulled at his hair while he screamed in protest, before Madara continued.

"A-hem! As I was saying, despite his service in the past we can't really let him go, not without putting ourselves and the secret knowledge of the existence of this organization in mortal peril. Normally, the punishment for defection is capture, interrogation and then execution, but for you, little Naruto… I will be willing to bend over backwards a little, and grant Orochimaru a pardon, and absolve him of his crimes against Akatsuki… if he comes back to join us."

And most importantly above all, do everything in your power to keep this organization a secret, and until we have established a trustworthy means of maintaining contact, we will have sparingly few meetings, so don't bother trying to contact us, we'll contact you and from there we'll work something out.

Do you have any questions?"

After awaiting for Madara to finish his basic outline for the job of his 'branch' of Akatsuki, only Naruto had two things to ask.

"Two questions, first, can I use the name that I had already planned to call my 'branch'? It is also useful in that it doesn't connect at all with the name of Akatsuki, so it's also covert."

""Well it's your group, I would have figured you'd name it."

"Thank you, "I'd like us to be know as… Eisen Dragoon…"

A chill went down the spines of all those present, in a similar manner as those whom first heard the name of the group, Akatsuki. Except this time, everyone except Naruto seemed afflicted, even Madara himself, ironic considering the strange and unexpected reversal of fortune.

Naruto then decided to get things rolling and asked, "Are we to ship out immediately?"

The only response was a chuckle and what Naruto felt was a look of hidden amusement in Madara's expression and body language, and Naruto himself almost seemed to regret asking when Madara answered for him, "Of course not, you first need to be conditioned and received some real training, and as a collective of a great majority of the village's best, we will make it so that you can do your job and do it right."

"Welcome, Eisen Dragoon, to Akatsuki Boot Camp…"

"Enjoy your stay in a Hell beyond Hell!"


Well I HOPE you enjoyed this little piece of work, I'm seriously ruining my biological clock by staying up without a wink of sleep…

Even crazies need to sleep.

Yawn, I'll make a more wacko edition of this chapter when I re-upload it!

Well, this is it for now!

See you soon!

AvatarofDeath13, over and out!