Three Short Interludes
An Invader Zim Fanfiction by KidKouragePart 3--'A Little Light Music'
Okay, we're in the home stretch now! Just one more little story to tell and my mind will finally be free! Oh wait…I forgot about all those …other things…oh, God, why?! Why must I be cursed with such an overactive imagination that I am constantly plagued with visions of things to write about?! Ah, well, I suppose there are worse things to be cursed with. Like dandruff…or lima beans. Yikes!
Alright, enough of that. This final tale takes place just after the epilogue of No Need For KidK!, making it kind of an epilogue in itself. In fact, it was originally supposed to be part of the epilogue, but I wanted to keep that short, and also I wanted the ending of No Need For KidK! to focus on KidK's relationship with Zim. So…this got left on the imaginary cutting room floor of my brain. If you don't remember what happened, let me explain very briefly: you know how in Fun in the Dark, KidK loaned 'Nny a tape of Aqua songs? Well, he's returned it to her as promised in No Need For KidK!. And in that same story, our heroine presented her friend with a new tape featuring not only Aqua, but a bunch of other totally pointless and happy nonsense. Got it? Well, then, get reading already! I haven't got all day, you know! Oh, wait, yeah I do…
At house 777, Johnny is about to begin his usual nighttime journey to the 7-11 for brainfreezys. The date--8/31. The time--12:36. On this particular night, however, 'Nny has something new to look forward to. You see, since receiving a certain cassette tape from his good friend Missy (alias KidK), he's been listening to it during his nightly walks. Tonight he'll finally get to the end of the tape, and oh, will he be surprised.
'Nny: OK, got my money, got my Walkman, got my tape, so let's go.
Reverend Meat: Yes, Johnny, go! Go and indulge! Feed your addiction!
'Nny: I'm not addicted; I don't need brainfreezy to live. It's not like I'm giving in to an urge or anything--this is just something to do, to get me out of the house for a while. I want to go out, I want to have a brainfreezy, and I want to find out why Missy wrote 'A Surprise' at the end of the list of songs on this tape, but I can shut off those wants at any time if I feel like it.
Reverend Meat: You mean if you want to?
'Nny: Oh, shut up. Stop trying to ruin my evening.
Reverend Meat: And speaking of that girl, Missy was it? She's another one of your addictions, isn't she? I'll bet you couldn't shut off your want to see her, could you?
'Nny: You know, if you're me-- one of my little head voices, so to speak--then you understand about Missy. And if you're not me, if you're trying to control me like all the others, then know this--if you say one more word about her, you're going in the trash compactor. I control me, and that's that! I don't have to do anything that anyone else orders me to! Hell, I don't even have to do what my own body tells me to do! Don't have to sleep, don't have to eat…not unless, at that moment, I want to do those things. And right now, I want to walk to the 7-11 and have a brainfreezy. So goodbye, and I hope you fall off a cliff while I'm gone.
He slams the door and begins his walk, humming along to 'Around the World.' It's so late at night that there's no one else around, just the odd car racing by at top speed (people drive faster at night, when they can't see--it's a scientifically proven fact). Meanwhile, at about the same time, KidK is getting rather frustrated up in her dorm room at Douglass College.
Diane (on the phone): So I told him I need him to bring my CD player, and he was all like, 'It won't fit in my trunk.' So I was all sad, but then I told him he could lay it on its side and that it'd fit that way, and he said he'd bring it! (pause) Yeah, of course! We can totally listen to my CDs! (pause) Well, I've got Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Backstreet Boys…all the good stuff! We can even have a CD party if you want! My roommate won't mind! (pause) You'll bring Cheez Doodles? Oh, that's so sweet of you, Cheyenne!
KidK (thinking): Ay yi yi…when will that girl ever shut up? I want to go to bed, but if she's just going to yap all night I'll never get to sleep…not that I would anyway; I have a feeling my insomnia will be worse since I won't be in my own bed…crikey, this smells. Well, if I'm going to be up anyway, at least I shouldn't have to listen to her. Since 'Nny-kun finally gave me my tape back, I can listen to that. (she gets out her headphones and the tape, but notices something is different about it) Hmmm, what's this? Why in the world did he cross off 'Heat of the Night' and replace it with 'Special Secret Surprise?' Well, we'll see about that, now won't we?
Incredible Author Note: my 'Squee!' TPB just came! The UPS man must be freezing his butt off in those little shorts today! Oh, wonder of wonders, now my life is truly complete! OK, where was I…oh yes…Johnny at the 7-11! Wahoo!
Counter Slave: That'll be a dollar an' 99 cents.
'Nny: Ah, a price hike, eh? Used to be only 1.95…and when I say 'used to be,' I mean it was yesterday.
Counter Slave: Uh, yeah, so it is…well, you can't blame me for tryin', can ya? Hur hur hur…
'Nny: Do you mean to say that you were purposely trying to trick me into paying you an extra four cents?
Counter Slave: Just my little joke, see?
'Nny: A little joke that'd make me look like a fool. Now, I don't know about your other customers, but I don't appreciate that kind of humor. You really love money that much that you'd steal mere pennies? And what are they really worth, anyway, in the long run? They're just coins, just metal! And that means more to you than treating your customers with the respect due to them as fellow human beings?
Counter Slave: Hey, I don't need to respect you, you little weasel! Now get outta my store before I throw you out myself!
'Nny: Oh really? Well in that case, I take back my final words. For you are not, as your appearance makes you out to be, human in any decent sense of the word. Therefore I should not be surprised at your less-than-human behavior, your animal instinct to put yourself before others. 'Survival of the fittest,' eh? I suppose you believe that if you cheat others out of their money, however insignificant, you can be top dog? No, not top dog--dogs are loyal…and cute. No, you're vermin, a rat that kills other rats for their cheese. And as your yellow teeth close around your ill-earned prize, you'll never hear the trap go off…until it's too late. (he smiles as he unsheathes one of his many knives)
Counter Slave (scared--knives have that effect on people): Okay, okay, you can have your money back! See, you can have your 'freezy for free! No charge, get it?!
'Nny: Oh, no. This is hardly about money. I'm not like you; I couldn't care less about paper and metal. (then why is he so upset?) But you, you love such things, so much that, now, you will die for them. Your shortsighted pursuit of meaningless material has rendered you blind to the bigger picture, to life. But now you'll finally see. Though…(he leans in close and enunciates each word) It's. Too. Late.
At this point in time, I think it's best that I preserve at least a PG rating by simply saying, 'And then some stuff happened. A lot.' I just can't write about 'Nny without him getting out of control and brutally murdering someone, can I? What a nice guy… Anyway, then some stuff happened. A lot.
'Nny: Huh. These people put me in such a bad mood. And during my favorite song, too! (the song, 'An Apple a Day,' fades as 'Nny makes his exit from the now slightly redder 7-11. Then there's a long pause) Hmmmm, guess that's the end. But then why does it say 'Surprise?'
KidK (on the tape): Hey, don't rewind that tape yet!
'Nny: Eek! It's aliiiiive! Heh, I am funny.
KidK: Surprise! Though I suppose it really shouldn't be, since I purposely wrote 'A Surprise' on the tape. Oh, well, you can still be surprised about what this is, even if you weren't surprised that it's here.
'Nny (sarcastically to himself): Stop playing with me, girl, and tell me what it is!
KidK: See, I made a guess, based on something you said a few days ago, about what your favorite Aqua song could be. And as it turns out, it's my favorite too! So I thought, what better way to end a tape full of pointless nonsense than with one of the most pointless and nonsensical activities known to mankind? I speak of--bum bum bummmmm--karaoke. Yes, I am going to karaoke for you a song that I hope will cheer you up as much as it always cheers me up. And if it doesn't, well…at least you can laugh at my lack of singing skills.
'Nny (thinking): Hmmm…karaoke, eh? What a coincidence…
KidK: Now listen as I do the unthinkable and have the same song twice in a row on the same tape! Yeah!
'Nny: Well what do you know? She got it right.
The song begins and KidK starts to sing. She's no Lene, needless to say, but she's clearly putting her heart into this. It's sweet really. Much sweeter than I'd be, that's for sure. But wait…I'm…(at this point, the author had an identity crisis and committed suicide. Nah, not really, that was just one of my other personalities…she won't be missed)
(singing--duh, didn't I just say that?):
Welcome to the clichés; welcome to the
part, where we wanna finish what we can't start. Come and get me! Just don't miss the water, 'til the well is dry;
You've gotta learn walking after you can fly. Come and get us!
'Nny (singing along): What goes in, will get out. What goes up, comes right down. We go up, we go up, we go up!
KidK: You know an apple a day….won't
keep the doctor away. We're
never taught what we teach and won't practice what we preach!
You know an apple a day…won't keep my troubles away.
Once bitten bye, bye! All the clichés here to die.
Nice sentiment, yes? Well, what part of it you can make sense of, anyway. But let's find out what KidK's doing now.
KidK (singing along in her head): I am coming from Mars, where there are no cheap cigars! And Elvis has said, that I can be just like they aaaaaaaare! Meet the staaaaaaaaars! They're from Maaaaaaaaaars! (the song ends) Well, that's it. Now to find out what this so-called surprise is all about.
'Nny (on the tape): Hiya, Missy.
KidK: Oh, no, Johnny, they shrank you and stuffed you in my tape! Hee, I'm funny.
'Nny: You'll never guess where I am…so I'll just tell you. I'm at the Sakura Karaoke Sushi Bar. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, 'Oh, but isn't it closed at this time of night?' And, indeed, it is closed. However, the nice security guard is letting me be here for a little while because he is nice.
KidK: I'll bet.
'Nny: I just want to take a few moments to express my thanks to you for a lovely evening tonight, and for everything else you've done for me. While this song hardly conveys what I truly want to say to you, it will have to suffice for now. Please enjoy it, whether you truly like it or just wish to laugh at my lack of singing skills.
KidK: He's going to karaoke? Imagine that…
The song begins. This here tune is called 'When I See You Smile,' and it's by a band called Bad English. I like it. Um…yeah, that's all.
(singing): Sometimes I wonder how I'd ever make it through--
through this world without having you. I just wouldn't have a clue.
'Cause sometimes it seems like this world's closing in on me,
and there's no way of breaking free, and then I see you reach for me…
KidK: Now, how in the world could he possibly know that I like this song? I'm sure I never said. Hmmm…odd, that.
Sometimes I wanna give up, I wanna give in, I wanna quit
And then I see you, Missy, and everything's all right…everything's alright.
KidK: And he put my name in it! *squeeeee!*
'Nny: When I see you smile, I can face the world, oh…you know I can do anything. When I see you smile, I see a ray of light, oh…I see it shining right through the rain--When I see you smile, Missy when I see you smile…at me.
KidK: OK, well now I'm gonna cry. And that's not going to be good.
And so I shall end this final story before KidK blubbers at the insane sweetness of it all and makes a fool of herself. After all, she is me--one of my little head voices, so to speak--and I've gotta watch out for her. So let's fade out, OK, on Johnny walking home from the 7-11 and on KidK looking out the window of her dorm room--each listening to the other's voice, both smiling up at the night sky.
'Nny: When I see you smile, I can face the world, oh, you know I can do anything. When I see you smile, oh yeah, Missy when I see you smile…smile at me.
KidK: We are what we are; what's built up will fall. Do what you want…and be happy.
Finally! Yay! I Jump Up and Down Now! Ooops! I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!!