For the Love of Jasper One-Shot Contest

Title: Last Request

Pen name: Claire Bloom

Existing work: N/A

Primary Players: James & Jasper

Rating: M for bad language & minor sexual content

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns them, we just play with them

Thank you to AngstGoddess003 for giving 'Last Request' her 'Wonderfully Weird Award'. Her beautiful banner can be viewed on my profile.

James POV

7.25am August 14th

"Shall I shoot the bitch?" He took her arm, and roughly dragged her towards him. Lifting her face, he placed the gun at her temple. She looked at me, wide eyed and terrified.

He rubbed her skin with the barrel, and bending so his face was level with hers, he whispered in her ear, "It'll be nice and quick, baby. You won't feel a thing."

She started to cry and it fucking pissed me off. Jasper was acting so out of character and he was starting to piss me off too. He was usually always so cool. 'Couldn't give a fuck' should've been his middle name; he just oozed calm. We'd been friends for a long time but we were such opposites; he was Ying, I was Yang, he was calm, I was temper. We were chalk and cheese, but he was my wingman, I trusted no one but him, which is exactly how we ended up in this fucked up situation.

"Jazz," I called to him. "Put the fucking gun down, Eastwood, she ain't part of this."

"Yeah but I feel pissy, and I need to project."

"Put the fucking gun down." I turned away from him, hoping my nonchalance would pay off. I clenched my fists at my sides and waited.

"Alright, dude, chill the fuck out." I heard him push her aside but she didn't expect it and tumbled to the floor.

I released my breath. "Let's get this over with."

"No!" She shouted out and I turned my head slightly to look at her sprawled on the floor. I narrowed my eyes, silently conveying she should shut the fuck up, before she made things much worse. I had control of this for now, but Jay was acting like a dick and he was starting scare me. I needed him calm.

"Wait! She knows?" Jasper took a step towards me, waving the gun between us both. "What the fuck, dude?"

"She don't know shit, can't you see she's just scared? I said fucking chill."

I turned back around and tried not to look at her. She was still sat on the floor, sobbing quietly as she watched us. She knew what was coming. I'd told her. I'd been honest with her about it all, and it was a relief actually, finally being able to tell someone what the fuck was going down.

She'd asked me to find another way, but quite frankly, I couldn't be arsed. This was the decision we had made, Jasper and I, and it was all I had thought about ever since.

She'd been so pretty when we'd first met. She still was, but the light I'd seen dancing in her eyes was now gone. I didn't want to admit that it might be because of me.

She'd seen right into me; the real fucking deal. In this obscure and incalculable world we had briefly created, she had touched me, heart and soul, and for a moment, I had actually reconsidered.

Was she worth it?

Getting to know her over the last couple of hours had made me rethink, but in the end, the final choice was made.

"Let's get this over with," I mumbled. She was worth it, I just couldn't do it.

I stepped in front of him and waited for him to follow my lead.

Fuck me, but he actually looked scared.

"Dude, what the fuck?" I asked him, lifting my hands.

"I dunno man, this shit is intense."

"Oh for fucks sake –" I grabbed his hand and lifted it, pressing the gun to my chest; mid ribs, slightly left, just like we'd read. "Fucking do it," I said.

I let go of his hand and he trembled. Jasper was fearless, so this shit bugged me. He dropped the gun slightly, pointing it at my navel.

"Dude, you'll fucking shoot off my belly button. Hold still."

"Sorry," he muttered, lifting it level again.

I grabbed his wrist and held it in place. I looked at him; my friend, my comrade, and my murderer.

"Do it."

He hesitated.

"Do. It!"

He swallowed, steadied his feet, and looked me in the eye.

"DO IT!" I yelled at him.

His finger twitched; he pulled the trigger.


James POV

11am April 18th

"I'm sorry James, the tests are conclusive."

"What about treatment?" I asked, trying to swallow down the lump in my throat. This stuff was hard to digest and I tried not to cry.

That shit just wasn't right for a guy.

"Treatment has only delayed the cancer, that's why it's back. Who knows how long this time? Besides, unless the medical bills are paid from last time, they just won't offer it again."

"So what you're saying is there's no chance?" I looked over at my mom and squeezed her hand. She sat sniffing into her tissue, and as she'd been clutching it for the better part of an hour, with sweaty hands and a dribbling nose, well, let's just say the tissue had seen better days. Its material no longer combined, but covered her hands in white bobbles, like dandruff.

She'd been quiet since we'd gotten here. She had no questions for the Doc because she'd been through all this before; nothing new to add, nothing new to ask.

Same shit different fucking day.

"I'm sorry. I wish there was something positive I could say. It's just that, with large medical expenses like this –"

"Save it for someone who cares," I muttered standing and helping my mom to her feet. "Let's get some ice cream," I suggested and she gave me a weak smile. Ice cream was our second love and we always shared that stuff together, every week; tradition.

"Don't forget to come back in next week; your appointment is at 1pm." Doc called after us.

"Go fuck yourself," mom called back. We laughed loudly, squeezing each other's hands and storming out of that office.

Shit like that made me grin.

We had to walk past the bank on the way and I stopped to glance in the window. There was this chick, fucking well packaged, if you catch my drift. I watched her for a moment, smiling and helping people. She was sweet and I liked to watch her. She seemed genuine, nothing forced about her at all. I imagined she actually enjoyed her job and the people she met; nobody was genuine anymore.

"You need to go inside?"Mom asked. I sighed and shook my head.

"Nope, let's go."


James POV

12.30pm April 18th

"This is fucking heaven!" I mumbled, ice cream spittle escaping my mouth. Mom laughed and handed me a napkin.

"Wipe your mouth, there's a good boy."

I grinned and spooned in another load. "This shit should be illegal."

"You say that every time, James."

"And every time I mean it; I fucking jizz myself."

"You watch your mouth!" Mom scolded me but her face softened as I scooped frozen jizz-inducing delights into my already full mouth.

I took her home straight after because she was tired; it had been a fucked up day. I was meeting Jasper and found myself passing the bank again. To my delight and surprise, she was coming out the door just as I reached it. She had a green sweater on and it was tight in all the right places. I gulped and held the door open for her, and she smiled sweetly, but briefly, and then walked away.

It was the most exciting exchange I'd ever had.

"Well thank you, dear."

I looked down to catch a little old lady patting my hand as she left the bank, and realised I still held the door like some dumbstruck fucking doorman. I shrugged and let the door slide. I walked away, happy with my moment in her peripheral.

Jasper was waiting for me, just as we'd arranged.

"What's new, bro?" He asked, grasping my hand and patting my back.

"Same shit," I said.


"You said it."

"You gonna have to go through all that treatment again? Shit dude."

"Not this time," I mumbled, pulling out my papers and rolling me a bad boy. Jasper offered me his lighter and I dragged that amber nectar in my lungs and savoured the burn.

"I should fucking quit, this shit'll kill you."

"Nah," Jasper muttered. "Cancer kills you; smoking just makes you care less."

We sat on a bench outside the basketball courts. We didn't play much anymore; I couldn't keep up with these kids, so we watched and criticised.

I scanned the streets around us, telling myself I was people watching, like some fucking gossip whore, but really, I was hoping for a glimpse of my dream girl again. I found myself straightening and my heart reacting whenever a head of red hair bobbed past across the street, or a flash of green caught my eye.

I was fucking obsessed.

A lady with a dark suit and green scarf did just that to me, and I sat upright, relaxing again as soon as I realised it wasn't my fantasy.

But two men approached and pushed her against the wall. I watched as they gestured to her bag and one looked over his shoulder, checking for witnesses.

"Dude." I nudged Jasper and nodded across the street.

"That ain't cool," he agreed with me and we stood to make our way over to them. No confrontation would take place, I hoped. We just wanted to make our presence known and maybe they'd leave.

We watched them as we walked, one guy slapped her face and she started to cry. That shit pissed me off.

Jasper decided enough was enough and we no longer walked in silence.

"Hey!" He shouted and started to run at them.

Was he mad? Those dude's were huge, and I was skinny as shit and non-descript, but it worked, they ran.

The woman leant against the wall and sobbed. "Thank you," she kept repeating over and over again.

"Hey lady, are you ok?" Jasper gently rubbed her shoulder and she took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. He continued to offer her comfort till she could breath more normally again. Opening up her purse, she took out an envelope and shoved it into Jasper's hand.

"Take it," she pleaded. We held up our hands to decline but she shoved it into my hand and we watched her stumble away in her six inch heels.

I turned to ask him if he thought this shit was for fucking real, but he was too engrossed in the contents. Fuck man, there's like two thousand dollars here." Jasper pulled out the notes and waved them in my face.

"Put that shit away, and let's go."

We walked home, passing the bank again, and I couldn't resist stopping to look inside. She'd returned to her desk near the back. I noticed she had one side of her hair pushed up with a green jewelled clip; fucking stunning.

I watched her for a few minutes and Jasper laughed.

"She's too fucking good for you man."

"And don't I know it," I mumbled. I made to walk away but Jasper stopped me.

"Let's go inside," he smiled.

"What? No fucking way, dude."

"We could open an account, stash the cash, and you get to chat to her." He indicated the cashier I fantasized over with a nod in her direction. I'd fucking creamed my bed sheets many times over that chick and now he thought I could casually chat with her? I was screwed.

I watched horrified as he opened the door and walked inside and straight over to the receptionist.

"Can I help you?" Another young cashier asked.

"I'd like to open a new account." Jasper smiled at her. "But can we talk to her?" He pointed at my fantasy and I groaned and died a little inside as he turned to face me and winked.

Fucking plank.

The cashier walked over to her and whispered in her ear, looking back at us and smiling. My fantasy glanced over and looked me up and down, then nodded and the other cashier came back and told us to sit down at another desk.

She walked over and I clutched my crotch. She was wearing those black, shiny, high heeled, Mary Kate thingy shoes with white frilly ankle socks. Her skirt was knee length. Freaking school girl fantasies would be on the agenda tonight.

I stiffened as her pleated skirt bounced from leg to leg as she walked over to me.

Was she in slow mo?

Fuck, man, I was so screwed.

"Hi, I'm Victoria." She grinned at me and then Jasper before starting to pull out her chair to sit. I don't know why I fucking did it, but I jumped up and rounded the desk, reaching for her chair too. Our hands touched and it was fucking electric. I stepped back quickly and gulped like a freaking fish.

She glanced down at my groin and swallowed, then back up at my face to smile timidly. "Thank you," she said quietly then sat.

"Dude!" Jasper shook his head as he too noticed my little dude standing to attention. Well, more like out front than upright; the little dude was restricted by tight jeans.

I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole.

I sat quickly and blushed, and that shit ain't cute for a guy.

"You want to open a new account?" Victoria asked, and Jasper and I nodded. "Joint?" She asked.

"Nah, babe, but I could use a beer." I heard myself snort and I cringed. So not cool.

Victoria smiled politely at my crack and took out her forms. "I wouldn't have taken you for a couple," she said and I whipped my head round.

What the fuck?

Jasper and I looked at each other and laughed. "You think we're a couple?" I asked her, pointing at Jasper like she was referring to some other fucker.

"Well, yes." She nodded.

I was fucking pissed and still erect and couldn't be civil anymore. We sorted out the details then left 25 minutes later with a joint account and a healthy balance of $2000.

Jasper found it hysterical as we walked home. I was not amused.

I stormed ahead of him and tried to ignore his chuckles. "You're starting to act like you want it to be true!" I snarled at him but he just laughed harder.

"You have a cute little wiggle when you walk off like that." He called after me and I turned to smack that smile right off his fucking face.

I couldn't have her thinking I was gay! Not her.

I grabbed his collar and clenched my fist Jasper just smirked. I pulled back my hand but a whimper behind me made me pause. It came from the alley so I peered into the shadows, trying to make out what was lying there. It appeared to be a dog and it was hurt.

"Dude." I nodded into the alley and we walked over slowly, so as not to frighten it. I cooed to the dog which was lying beside a dumpster and his leg looked broken. There was a lot of blood.

"What's up?" Jasper called from behind me and I waved him over to look.

"Poor bastard," I said as I watched the dog lay his head back down and whimpered. He didn't have it in him to fight anymore.

"We should put him out his misery," Jasper suggested.

"I can't," I whispered. The dog was hurt, that much was obvious, and we had no cash on us to pay for vet bills. Besides, the new bank balance wouldn't be enough. Those bills could be immense.

"We can't leave him." Jasper edged closer. "That's inhumane, dude."

"I can't do it," I said again, brushing my hand over the crispy fur. The blood was dry and I could only imagine how long this poor creature had lay here.

I don't know why, but I felt tears fill my eyes. The alley was dirty and cold, and this dog was all alone and dying. Jasper was right. We should end his misery.

"Do you want me to do it?"He offered.

"You're gonna have too, I can't." I stood and let him pass me.

"Shush," I heard him whisper as he caressed the broken animal, and the dog whimpered, but looked back with eyes full of trust. It fucking killed me.

I turned and walked to the entrance and waited for him to do his job; I couldn't watch.

I heard movement behind me but didn't want to imagine what the fuck was going on behind me. Jasper eventually came and stood beside me; I handed him a roll up and we smoked in silence for a while.

"It was the right thing to do," Jasper finally offered. He'd done the deed, but he was comforting me? This was fucked up shit and so like him; always neutralising the crap out of any situation.

"I know man," I said and we continued to smoke. "Would you do that shit for me?" I finally asked him.


"When it's time? Would you let me suffer or put me out of my misery?"

"Shut up, man." Jasper walked away, hands in his pockets, his shoulders set.

I caught him up and walked beside him for a few blocks.

"We can't afford the bills," I finally spoke. "There's no treatment, no chance, man."

Jasper stopped and looked at me. "I'm sorry," he said and I nodded.

"Would you do that for me?" I asked him again.

He just stared at me. He took a last pull on his rollup then flicked it past me, over my shoulder.

"You're fucking serious?"

I nodded. "I can't do it again, man. You have no fucking clue."

Jasper said nothing for a while. "It's a relief actually," he muttered. I looked up at him. "Your fucking ugly without hair, dude."

I laughed and we raised our hands and smacked palms.

"Are you serious?" He finally asked me again, after our laughter died.

I nodded. "Would you want to suffer?"

He shook his head and took a drag. "Is it really that bad?"

"Dying? Fucked if I know." I shrugged and he punched my arm. "But yeah, that shit is intense," I admitted, and it really was. I'd felt nauseas for weeks, food became dirt in my mouth. I was unable to chew, never mind taste or swallow. But I always tried for mom's sake. Later when she was out of ear shot, I always brought it back up again. It was just as foul second time round, but I had to try, for her. I was all she had.

"I can't lie there and waste away. It'll kill her."

We stood in silence for a while longer, just smoking and being dudes. This shit was too intense.

Jasper cleared his throat. "Why can't they offer treatment again?"

"Money," I simply said.

He nodded.

"The thing is, when I'm gone, the bills still won't be paid. I'll just be leaving her with debt."

"There is a way to help with that," Jasper offered.

I raised my brow and looked at him.

"Rob a fucking bank!" He stated, like it was the best idea since fucking money was invented.

"Fuck off!" I flicked my fag end away and pushed off the wall. I glanced behind me and immediately wished I hadn't. I could see the dog, lying next to the dumpster. His eyes were closed and he looked like he was sleeping. I grieved for his pain and his end. It wasn't right to die with no dignity. "Wish it was that fucking easy," I mumbled.

"Well, it is."

I glanced over at Jasper, the sudden realisation that he was serious made me choke. "You've thought about this?"

He nodded, drew on his fag, and inhaled slowly. I watched the grey smoke swirl around his face like a mystical cloud. He gulped at it, beckoning the flavour back into his mouth, but it just pushed it away and eventually dispersed into the night.

"I have a plan," he told me and I listened in disbelief as he regaled the finer details of bank robbery. It sounded absurd to even be discussing such a preposterous idea, but as he talked, I finally had to admit, it just might work.

"You'll make sure she gets my share?" I asked him again as we sat in contemplation.

Jasper nodded. "Cross my heart Dude."

"Fuck that shit! Do I look like a 13 year old school girl?"

He laughed and tussled up my hair. "With that pony tail? Fuck no."

I moved my head away from his hand. I was proud of my hair; it had taken me two long years to grow it after I'd shaved it all off during treatment. It was evidence that I'd survived.

"You will do it then?" I asked him, my voice quiet this time.

"I always keep my word," he said. He raised his hand and I met it with mine, palms slapped; comrade in arms.

What the fuck were we doing?


James POV

5am August 14th

I watched mom sleeping for a while longer. I hated to say goodbye so I'd waited for her to drift off before I made my way out to meet Jasper.

He called to confirm he'd managed to get possession of a gun. This shit was fucked up but I had no choice. I couldn't leave her in debt and alone. It wasn't her fault we couldn't pay the bills and it wasn't her fault the cancer had returned. I also didn't want to sit and wait for this disease to ravage me, I wanted to die strong and in my prime. I wanted it to be on my terms, with dignity. But time was running out, I was starting to feel it.

Jasper had planned the entire thing except for the ending. I'd added that part by asking him to do for me what he'd done for the dog. It had taken some persuasion, but he'd finally agreed. I told him the ideal solution would be for me to die on site and make out like the perpetrator was dead when the police showed up, that way he got out alive, free and with the loot.

I couldn't begin to imagine what that would do to him for the rest of his life, but I couldn't think about him, I had to think about my mom.

I had felt myself growing weaker each day, it was almost like it was eating me from the inside and I had waited, trying to conserve some energy for this day. This is all it would take; a few hours and she would be free from debt and I would be free from pain.

No one should die without dignity.

I kissed her forehead and placed the note by the kettle. She always made coffee when she woke. It was a sure place she would find it.

I walked the few blocks to the bank and for the first part, the plan worked. We got inside, we disabled the alarm, but fuck me if we hadn't counted on my fucking dream girl still being there.

She dissolved all my fantasies in one second when we found her sucking her boss's dick. Jasper waved the gun at them both, and we tied them up and went about our business.

I was fucking mad as hell and kept shooting her black stares. She didn't even have the decency to look away from me.

I was fucking pissed, so throwing down my bag, I ripped off my balaclava and dragged her to her feet.

Jay kept his head covered and ignored me as I marched her from the room.

I took her to an office out back and threw her to the ground. She watched me as I paced the floor.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I demanded. She didn't reply. I waved my gun around and she flinched. "What the fuck were you thinking?" She didn't reply which made me madder. "Answer me!"

I slammed my hands down on the desk and my finger accidently pulled on the trigger. The gun went off and blew a whole straight through Nixon's face on the opposite wall.

We both stared at the smoking bullet hole, incredulous.

"What the fuck? James?" Jasper screamed from the other room. I walked to the door and poked my head through to look at him.

"It's cool," I told him and he stared at me like I was fucking Coco the Clown or something.

"It's cool? It's fucking cool! Are you fucking retarded?"

"Jazz, chill Dude. It's cool." I walked back over to her and pulled her to her feet, took her to the door, and showed Jasper she was still alive.

He nodded, and looking a little paler than usual, went back in the room with her boss.

I pushed her back to the floor. I had a hard time thinking of her as my fantasy now. All I could see when I looked at her was his hairy fucking pasty white groin bobbing around in front of her face.

I felt sick.

"You're better than that," I finally said.

"You don't even know me," she whispered.

I looked over at her as she wiped at her face.

Fuck. I'd made her cry. That wasn't cool.

I walked over to her, and kneeling I captured a tear drop on the end of my finger. I lifted it to my mouth and tasted her salty residue. She watched me wide eyed, and I held her stare.

"You're better than that," I told her again and she nodded.

"It's not what you think," she told me.

"What do I think?"

"You think I'm blowing the boss to get ahead in this business."

"Seems to me he was the one getting 'ahead,'" I smirked and for a moment she just stared at me before smiling too.

"Bad jokes, always with the bad jokes," she mumbled. She looked away and didn't say anything for a while. "I do it for my family," she finally told me.

"How does that help?"

"He pays me."

I stared at her. She was full of surprises. "Fuck." Was the only thing I could think to say.

"No," she meekly replied. "Not that, he only wants oral. You see, my mom died last year and left me to bring up my little sister, and she's at school, needs clothes and shoes and stuff and then there's the mortgage –" She trailed off but I got the message.

She was struggling, just like I didn't want my mom to. It was sad when someone died, but the devastation they left behind, with the emptiness in their families lives, was minor in comparison to the economical effects. This was exactly what I didn't want to happen. I'd be damned if my mother would resort to sucking some fat guys stubby little dick to pay the gas bill.

"I'm dying," I told her. It was her turn to stare. "I have cancer, twice now. But this time they can't treat it. My mom's working three jobs to pay the medical bills and it fucking kills me, more than this fucking disease."

"I understand," she nodded.

My legs were starting to feel numb from squatting so I stretched my legs out on the floor beside her.

"I like you," she said softly. "You get me, you didn't judge me."

"I judged you," I admitted and looked away.

"Yeah but not for long,"

We sat in silence for a while, and for me, it felt nice. I didn't think I'd be comfortable sitting with her and not needing to speak, but I did. It was good.

"I liked you too," I said.

"Liked?" She asked.

"Yeah, well, things change. Roll with the punches."

We smiled at each other.

"Have you thought about how you're getting out of here?"

I nodded. "Jasper is leaving with the money. Not me. He'll give my share to my mom."

"You'll go to prison?"

I shook my head. "No, I won't go to prison."

She cocked her head slightly and looked at me, I didn't look away. I knew the exact moment when realisation dawned on her because her breathe hitched and she straightened her head.

"Tell me what's going to happen, James."

"You know what."

"I don't believe it. There has to be another way."

"Yeah, I could go home and waste away and die in my fucking bed with my mother sobbing at my side. Well I can't do that. I can't just sit around and let it happen."

"I don't understand you. You'd rather die like a dog?"

"I want to die with dignity!"

"And being shot by your best friend is dignified?"

"It's on my terms."

"Oh so that's it? This isn't about your not wanting to feel weak this is about you beating the cancer. If you die like this, here, then you've won. You never died of cancer, you died of a gunshot!"

"You don't know me, don't presume to analyse me!" I shouted at her. But she had a point and it pissed me off.

She shifted onto her knees and leaning forward, she kissed me. It was soft at first, but when my initial shock wore off; I opened my mouth and tasted her sweet fucking tongue. I didn't want to even think where it had been an hour earlier, so I erased it from my mind and just enjoyed her. It was better than I'd imagined.

She pulled away just as I was really getting into it. "Give me a chance to get to know you," she whispered, biting her bottom lip.

"My mind's made up," I told her, and for just a moment, I considered changing it. Was she worth it? Could I live the next few weeks with her by my side? It would certainly make the last few moments of my life more bearable. But then she was just another loved one I was leaving behind.

It wasn't fucking fair.

"This isn't the right time for us," she said and I nodded. Her sentiment was nice. It wasn't something I would've thought of but it fit.

"James," Jasper called from the other room and I went to see what he wanted. "We have to wrap this shit up, dude."

I gestured for him to come closer and he stepped into the hall. I kept my eye on the boss behind him and explained that Victoria knew.

"What the fuck man?" He hissed at me.

"Listen, I think we should cut her in."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Jazz, she's in exactly the same situation, man. I want her to be able to walk away from this too. This is not who she is."

"You knock one out for every other day for the last year then chat to her for like an hour, and now you want to save her? Fuck, man."

"She's knows who I am. She knows about my mother, she could turn her in, make out she was in on this shit, the money will be taken away and this will all have been for nothing."

"That could still happen, even if you pay her off."

"I know, Jazz. Fuck, I know." I ran my hand through my hair.

"I won't do that," she whispered from behind me and I turned to see her peeking out from the door.

I looked at her and was sure she was telling the truth. Fucked how I knew, I just did. I turned back to Jasper and he rolled his eyes then nodded slightly for my benefit.

"We need to make this believable," I told him and looked over his shoulder to the boss sat on the floor.

Jasper nodded again and I went to fetch Victoria. I gripped her arm and pulled her from the room. "Play along," I said quietly and had no idea if she'd heard me.

I pushed her inside and she slapped my hand away from her arm; it stung and I flung her over towards Jasper.

"Shall I shoot the bitch?" He took her arm, and roughly dragged her towards him. Lifting her face, he placed the gun at her temple. She looked at me, her eyes so wide.

He rubbed her skin with the barrel, and bending so his face was level with hers, he whispered in her ear, "It'll be nice and quick, baby. You won't feel a thing."

She started to cry.

"Jazz," I called to him. Put the fucking gun down, Eastwood, she ain't part of this."

"Yeah but I feel pissy, and I need to project."

"Put the fucking gun down." I turned away from him and as I did so, I caught the boss's eye. He looked like he was about to vomit, but he made no move to intervene. He didn't want to draw attention away from Victoria to himself.

Fucking prick.

"Alright, dude, chill the fuck out." I heard Jasper push her aside but she didn't expect it and she tumbled to the floor.

I released my breath. "Let's get this over with."

"No!" Victoria said and I turned my head slightly to look at her. I narrowed my eyes, silently conveying she should shut the fuck up, before she gave the game away.

"Wait! She knows?" Jasper took a step towards me, waving the gun between us both. "What the fuck, dude?" He winked at me.

Fucking plank.

"She don't know shit, can't you see she's just scared? I said fucking chill." I glared at Jazz and tried to tell him that he too might very well give the game away.

They were the worst fucking actors.

I turned back around and tried not to look at her.

Was she worth it?

The choice was made.

"Let's get this over with," I mumbled. I stepped in front of Jasper and waited for him to follow my lead.

"Dude, what the fuck?" He looked scared.

"I dunno man, this shit is intense."

"Oh for fucks sake –" I grabbed his hand and lifted it. "Fucking do it," I said.

I let go of his hand and he trembled. He dropped the gun slightly, pointing it at my navel.

"Dude, you'll fucking shoot off my belly button. Hold still."

"Sorry," he muttered, lifting it level again.

I grabbed his wrist and held it in place. I looked at him; my friend, my comrade, and my saviour.

"Do it."

He hesitated.

"Do. It!"

He swallowed, steadied his feet, and looked me in the eye.

"DO IT!" I yelled at him.

His finger twitched; he pulled the trigger.


7.29am Jasper's POV

Nobody moved or said a word. The echo of the gunshot reverberated in my ears and I hung onto it because when that sound eventually disappeared, I was going to have to face the fact that I'd just shot my best fucking friend.

The seconds seemed like minutes. I dropped my eyes to the floor and finally looked at him.

I'm so sorry, dude.

I would've done anything for him, and if his last request made me a murderer, then so be it.

I bent to check his pulse and found nothing. His eyes were closed and he seemed peaceful. The entry wound was small and surprised me with how little blood actually flowed.

"Is he...?" Victoria asked from behind me.

I nodded, and taking a deep breath, I turned round to face her and her fucking boss.

"Don't think for one second that I won't do the same to either of you!" I snarled.

"I just want to go home," her boss started to wail. I watched as a stream of yellow poured from his trouser leg and seeped across the floor.

He'd fucking pissed himself, the dirty bastard!

I reached down and hauled Victoria up off the floor. You're coming with me."

"No," she cried out and I glared at her.

"There's a bullet here with your boss's name on it, if you don't do as I say!"

"Please," he whimpered and I wanted to shoot him there and then. What kind of prick would allow his young employee to be taken in his place?


I tugged Victoria with me, and picking up the loot, we walked out the door. I let her lock it behind me, and then for just second, we stood staring into the sunlight; blinking and wondering what the fuck had just happened.

I expected the police to be outside already, or to come tearing round the corner any second, but the street remained silent.

"We best leave," she suggested and I nodded and followed her to her car.

"Where's James's house?" She asked and I told her his address.

She picked up her phone and dialled a number. I didn't register that she may be calling the police to turn me in. I was still numb from walking away from my bud.

"Alice, it's me," she spoke into the receiver. "You don't want to know! No, I can't. It's complicated. It just is. Listen, pack a bag, one for me and one for you and meet me at the corner in half an hour. I'll tell you when I get you. No. Don't tell anyone. I said no one, Alice. Ok bye."

I half listened to her one sided conversation. I had too much else on my mind to pay attention.

We pulled up at James' house, and as it was still early, I wasn't surprised to find there was no sign of life inside, just yet.

"Are you going in?" Victoria asked me.

I didn't reply. I didn't have the energy to speak. I was starting to struggle for air and felt sick, all at the same time.

She huffed then reached into the back and pulled the bag over into her lap. She counted out a fair amount, and stuffing it into a carrier bag, she wrote "From James" on the corner. Getting out the car, she walked up to the mail box and popped it inside.

She ran back to the car, and hopping in, she started the engine and drove away.

I watched his house disappear in the side mirror and wondered if I would ever see it again.

I'm not sure how much time passed, but we stopped and picked up Victoria's sister. I barely acknowledged her as we drove away from the pavement.

"What's with him?" She asked Victoria.

"He lost his best friend today," she told her.

I felt Alice place her hand on my shoulder and give me a gentle squeeze. "I lost my mom," she told me and I looked up to see her reflection in the side mirror, she was sat behind me in the back seat.

Her eyes were large and brown and she offered me a small smile. I felt a jolt of something deep in my tummy, and for a moment, I stopped thinking of James and what we'd done. What I'd done.

In that instant, I felt like everything was going to be alright.