The lines meant little to me. The lines were incomprehensible and at the same time, heartbreaking to me. My pulse is racing, my mind searching for answers. I need answers, I need someone to translate this note, tell me what it really means. Explain to me the reasons why Cole hates me, why he wants me to drop everything I've been building up all this time. Most of all, I need to see Cole.

Tears freely rolled down my face and I couldn't think of anything at all at first. I fell to my knees and covered my face while clenching my last memory of Cole. I sobbed so loud I didn't care who heard or who cared. My heart cracked, I felt it. I hugged the note, knowing it was the last communication I would ever have with Cole. I screamed through my sobs and knelt ever more so I was practically in a tornado position.

Me: Why? Why did you have to go?

I hadn't realized I was screaming to the point of hearing my own voice echo until I stopped for an unsteady hysterical breath.

Me: You never cared! You were my everything and you took yourself away!

I sniffled once and focused on breathing which was getting harder every second. There had to be a medical term for this, I was going to die. While trying to get my breath back I changed clothes, which I then realized made me smell like Cole. I broke into sobs again and took me more then a little while to calm down. It was only when I could speak when I whispered.

Me: I can't do this on my own.

You've stripped me down, the layers fall like rain.
Its over now, just innocence and instinct still remain.
You watched me while I slowly disappeared.
I reached for you to save me; you were frozen in your fear.

(4x) Take it all away

Circling the pain inside my soul
I reached inside
your silence to steal what you wont show
I tried to find the answers in my fears
But what was found is lost again as soon as it appeared

(4x) Take it all away

I'm breaking; I can't do this on my own
Can you hear me screaming out, am I all alone?

(10x) You take away

Take it All Away: Red

David: It will be okay, things will clear up. I promise Melinda.

I took a step backwards. He couldn't have been serious. Things couldn't clear up. Cole was gone. He wasn't going to come back and I felt like nothing. I felt nonexistent. I wanted to die. With tears still running down my face I looked at David for the first time since I had gotten to his house. My voice barely rose above a whisper and was so uneven I was shaking.

Me: How can you say that? There is no way I will ever see Cole again.

He took a step towards me, his eyes slightly reddening. His tone was even.

David: Melinda… I love you, more than you can know.

Me: No, David-

David: Stop Melinda! Just stop. I love you. I have for a while now. I'm telling you this because you don't seem to realize it. Melinda, we have a thing, we're dating. I don't know how long you've been seeing this Cole guy, but I can understand. Because I love you so much, I'm going to get you through this. You have to understand that we are together Melinda. You're in my sunroom wanting me to soothe you. I will always be here for you, always, but you can't do this to me. You can't just fall in love with some other guy. It's not-

Before he could finish his sentence I forced him into a hug. I needed someone to just be there and David was that person. I didn't need words, I needed contact. He hugged me back, tightly. So tightly I could feel his tears on my shoulder. This was the most intimate embrace we had ever been in and we were both sobbing uncontrollably.

After I had calmed down enough to stop crying I broke our hug and brought my hands to his face and forced his to look at me.

Me: David, I love you.

David nodded and gave me a small smirk.

David: Thank you. I'm glad to know the feeling is mutual.

For the rest of the day I stayed with David, never letting him get too far away from me. If I started to feel that pain in my chest I would clutch David and cry into him until I felt better. Though I had stayed at David's all day I wasn't prepared to leave yet.

Me: David, can I stay here tonight?

My question didn't impede him.

David: Of course. You know we have guest rooms.

Me: that's not what I meant… I don't want to leave you David. Can I just sleep in your room with you tonight? I don't know what would-

He then picked me up and carried me bridal style to his room.

David: You are always welcome in my room.

I smiled a little for the first time today. I was welcome here.

It was getting late and I was about to fall unconscious. After realizing if I fell asleep in what I was wearing I'd be very uncomfortable when I woke up I looked at David. I couldn't wear these clothes tonight and I wasn't going to borrow any of my… boyfriends. It wouldn't feel right. I abruptly took a few steps in front of David and looked at him unsurely. Before he could figure out what I was doing I held the bottom hem of my borrowed shirt and hesitated only a moment before pulling it off.

David immediately turned around.

David: What are you doing Melinda.

The way he said the statement didn't seem like a question, more like a subtle demand.

Me: You said you loved me. I love you too David. I also loved Cole. These clothes are his. Now that he's gone I think it's best to not wear them. Before you tell me to take some of your clothes I'm going to insist that it wouldn't feel right. Please David, just let me let go.

After I had finished my ill prepared speech David, still facing away from me spoke.

David: I understand Melinda.

Just as he turned around he saw me trying to get my pants off and when I looked at him I could have sworn he was going to faint. The baggy pants easily fell and I slowly walked over to David, unsure what was and wasn't okay. Standing inches away from him, I could hear his heart beating.

I knew I was blushing, whether it was from my royal blue matching underwear which oddly fit the mood, or because I was supposed to be the confident one in this situation.

It was quick. He pressed his lips to mine and there was no stopping. Soon kissing turned to kissing with tongue and a tear rolled down my face. I didn't know why I was crying but David knew it wasn't him. I needed to have more. I pressed myself closer to him, hoping to feel any emotion other than sadness. I soon grew impatient with David, grabbed his hand, and pressed it to my chest.

It was a bit obvious that he hadn't been to second base before, but I let him do what he wanted. It didn't seem to take him long to figure out how things were supposed to go. I let out a soft moan to let him know he was on the right track and reached behind me to unclip my bra.

David stopped abruptly and grabbed my hands. I looked up at him with a pleading look. He knew I wanted this but by the way he looked at me I knew he wasn't going to let me get too far for his taste. When he spoke his voice differed from his look, his words were deep and full of lust.

David: Melinda, I want this, believe me. I love you, but I don't want you to do anything without meaning it. It feels like you're only doing this to forget.

I said nothing, mostly because I felt words were at a loss in this moment. I only looked away from him and sat on his bed. The fact was that this wasn't the right place or time. I sighed and looked up at him as if to say 'I'm sorry'. When he left to go to the bathroom I decided to get comfy and before I could see him get back I fell asleep.

For those days we felt like a mistake,
Those times when loves what you hate,
Somehow,
We keep marching on.

For those nights when I couldn't be there,
I've made it harder to know that you know,
That somehow,
We'll keep moving on.

There's so many wars we fought,
There's so many things were not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

For all of the plans we've made,
There isn't a flag I'd wave,
Don't care if we bend,
I'd sink us to swim,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

For those doubts that swirl all around us,
For those lives that tear at the seams,
We know,
We're not what we've seen,

For this dance we'll move with each other.
There ain't no other step than one foot,
Right in front of the other.

There's so many wars we fought,
There's so many things we're not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

For all of the plans we've made,
There isn't a flag I'd wave,
Don't care if we bend,
I'd sink us to swim,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right,
We're marching on.

We'll have the days we break,
And we'll have the scars to prove it,
We'll have the bonds that we save,
But we'll have the heart not to lose it.

For all of the times we've stopped,
For all of the things I'm not.

We put one foot in front of the other,
We move like we ain't got no other,
We go when we go,
We're marching on.

There's so many wars we fought,
There's so many things we're not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, left, right,
Right, right,
We're marching on.

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, left, right,
Right, right,
We're marching on.

Marching on: One Republic

I woke up at seven without an alarm clock, just a habit I suppose. David's hand was resting on my stomach and he was quietly snoring. I felt a migraine coming on, like a hangover, but I only wished yesterday had been a drunken hallucination. When I started to think about what had happened yesterday I quickly pushed my thoughts away. I slowly moved David's hand and got out of bed.

It was coming back to me. Yesterday was a mistake. My heart lurched; it was coming back to me. With my unsteady heart beat it was only a matter of time before I was sobbing and sprawled across the floor. I tried to take even breaths. I closed my eyes and the minute I did so I saw his face and burst into tears.

I didn't want David to see me; I didn't want him like I did yesterday. I covered my face with my hands and tried to be as quiet as I could. It didn't work because a few moments later I heard steps coming down the hall. As of now there's only one thing logical to do; hide. I went to the closet. The steps got louder and my sobbing went silent. As the door opened, I was getting situated.

Cindy: Davey! Breakfast is ready.

The mere mention of food made my stomach rumble.

David made a sniffling sound and sat up.

David: Okay mom. I'll come down soon.

He spoke as if nothing happened last night, as if he didn't mean what he said. It was at this moment that I realized how wrong this all was. I was not supposed to be hiding in a closet, or spending the night with boys. This was all wrong…