DISCLAIMER: It's not too far-fetched to be possible given Warner Bros and DC.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Batman took a look at his watch and sipped his coffee. It was three a.m. EST. He really shouldn't have kept putting this off but in between fighting crime in Gotham, running a multi-billion dollar company and getting the space station ready… well, writing a roster wasn't on the top of his list of things to do.
Across the screen in a slide show were all the worlds known super heroes and vigilantes.
To minimize effort on his part, the controls were locked save the enter button and the directional keys. A click of the right arrow button would show the next hero's profile; a hit of the enter button would key an automatic transport of the hero to the watch tower tomorrow when the League opened its doors to all the worlds heroes.
Well, not ALL the worlds heroes. Some of them were borderline insane like that Rorschach guy over in New York.
Many others were too of the lone wolf variety or tread to closely to the line of vigilante and villain. Only with the punch of the enter key were they keyed for transport.
Really he should be taking a closer look of the profiles of everyone but he wanted to do another patrol of Gotham tonight before the board of directors meeting at eight.
If some of the keyed heroes he entered didn't want to be part of the League they could just be transported back down again.
With another sip of his coffee, he clicked to the next profile and immediately grimaced; twice.
Once for the profile and again for the red blur than just sped into the room.
Fatman and Boy Blubber?
He hated parodies.
Hitting the arrow key, he gave a mental sigh and turned around in his seat, unknowingly hitting the enter key with his elbow.
"You'll never guess what I found!" Flash hugged a video cassette to his chest. "It's the pilot episode to your old T.V. show! You know the one that had you played by Adam West?"
Batman grimaced again.
He REALLY hated parodies.
"You wanna watch it?"
With a glare that would melt the polar ice caps, he turned around back to the monitor.
He hit the arrow key. Rather forcefully had anyone been paying attention.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Batman sat at the controls of the transporter. Nearly all of the heroes selected were here and Green Lantern was picking up the last-
He looked up as the transporter activated.
There was only supposed to be one more: Green Arrow. Not-
Oh no. A brief panicked look came over Batman's face. He recognized that blue skin, black electrified hair and red spandex jumpsuit. Most people did because they took great pains to avoid him.
It was just as Superman began his speech too. "Welcome to the Justice League," He began.
"ME? JUSTICE LEAGUE? YEAY!"
Everyone's attention was drawn to the guy with an "F" emblazed on his chest followed by an exclamation point.
"Super teen extraordinaire! Freakazoid! Freakazoid! Runs around in underwear! Freakazoid! Freakazoid!"
With a speed that put Flash to shame he was next to Superman and pumping his fist vigorously enough to put both their arms in a blur.
"Oh, I've ALWAYS wanted to meet you! Is this your cape? Can I try it! THANKS!"
With a spin, Superman suddenly found himself standing in his tighty whities while Freakazoid was running up the walls and on the ceiling with his arms in front of him and making "swoosh" noises in Superman's outfit.
"-better's on T.V. Freakazoid! Freakazoid! His brains over loading! It has a chocolate coating!"
"Where's than music coming from?" Captain Atom looked around curiously.
Across the room, Freakazoid hit a button on a small portable stereo. "Heh heh! Sorry!"
And promptly continued to "swoosh" around the room wearing Superman's costume.
"Wait, your mean it's the COSTUME than makes you fly?" Flash asked disbelievingly for a moment before- "I wanna try it next!"
"My costume isn't what makes me fly." Superman glared at anyone who dared to point at his choice of underwear and giggle.
Freakazoid paused in the middle of the ceiling. "It's not?"
"Oh." he fell to the floor with a thud, but jumped back up when he saw who was in front of him.
"Gasp!" he clicked his heels together happily. "It's Big Boobed Amazon Lady!" Dropping back to his knees he pleaded up to Wonder Woman.
"I'm such a BIG fan! I've always wondered just how big are your-"
Many winced at the kick that left a Freakazoid shaped imprint on the steel floor.
"Feet. Seven and a half. Got it."
No worse for the wear, he jumped back up again. Almost everyone was still in shock about this nut job to yet consider doing anything about him.
In another blur, he was in front of Batman…
And at the main control.
"COOL! It's the Bridge!"
With the same look of panic on his face, Batman rushed forward to stop him. But it was already too late.
"Ludicrous Speed! GO!" Freakazoid hit a large red button Batman was sure hadn't been there earlier.
The space station began to whirl at speeds that sent everyone yelping in surprise and thrown to the sides of the room as it moved fast enough to sent a tilt-a-whirl ride rocketing into space.
"Why does the Watch Tower even HAVE this kind of speed maneuverability?" Green Lantern yelled from the chair he was holding onto by his fingertips.
"It doesn't!" Batman growled.
Gradually the Watch Tower ground to a halt. Freakazoid was standing at the window and looking out at the Earth.
"AN ALIEN PLANET!" Freakazoid began jumping up and down excitedly. "Who wants to go down and make out with some hot alien green babes?"
With grins that showed they were having entirely way too much fun, Flash and Green Arrow stood up and raised their hands.
Freakazoid was standing next to them. "AND BEAMO!" The three disappeared in a flash of light.
Batman growled as he stood up slowly, still dizzy from the unexpected twirl. "The transporter controls aren't over there."
Another beam of light flared and the three were standing in the center of the room again.
Pulling a pen and notebook from somewhere Batman probably didn't want to know, Freakazoid scribbled something on the paper and stuck it on the controls nearest to him.
Scrawled in messy hand writing over another large mysterious red button were the words "TRANZ PORTY!"
The three were gone again in another flash of light only to reappear seconds later with Flash and Green Arrow both holding two Orion Slave Girls in their arms with two big grins on their face.
Quietly to himself, Batman hoped no one ever realized this was his entire fault.
Superman, fully costumed, walked up to the… thing with the same pained expression Batman had on his face earlier.
"I feel like we're wasting your time up here-" Superman with his advanced abilities thought the fastest he ever had in his life. "You being such an important hero and all… Everyone up here would just be slowing you down…"
"NON SENSE!" Freakazoid grabbed Superman in a bear hug. "Oh, we're gonna have so much FUN TOGETHERNESS!"
"And on days when crime is low we can hang out together and watch all my favorite episodes of the Brady Bunch!"
A shiver went down the spines of everyone on the Watch Tower.
"Actually…" Superman quickly cut in and extracted himself from the very uncomfortable hug. "Because you're so qualified I was hoping to convince you to work with the Teen Titans in Jump City so they might benefit from your experience."
Batman almost started coughing when he began choking on his own saliva.
"ME? THE TEEN TITANS?" Freakazoid paused in the thinking man pose using Superman's knee as a chair. "Are there any babes?"
"Yes!" Chorused Superman and many other heroes, many of them not really caring if there were or not.
"Here!" Superman, Green Lantern and Wonder Woman rushed to the controls to transport him. "I can transport you directly to the tower!"
"I'LL DO IT! For Justice! For Little People whom are no longer to be referred to as Midgets! And for Babes EVERYWHERE!"
One flash of light and the room was silent, waiting and hoping the bizarre man wouldn't mysteriously show up again. Nothing personal, but they liked their sanity intact.
Superman sighed in relief and adjusted his costume slightly as the chaos began to fade.
Batman slinked up to him.
"You just sent Freakazoid to the Teen Titans." Batman spoke slowly with an unreadable expression.
Superman hesitated but slowly nodded his head. "Yes."
"You just sent Freakazoid…" Batman clarified.
"To the Teen Titans." Batman finished this time with a degree of disbelief in his voice.
The silence was palpable as indeed everyone stopped to think about what kind of sick and evil twisted individual would willingly sick Freakazoid on anyone. But really couldn't fault him because they didn't want to deal with him either.
After a long moment, Batman eventually strode away.
"I'll never call you a Boy Scout again."
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
NEXT TIME ON TEEN TITANS…
All was well in Titan Tower. Robin, Cyborg and Beast Boy were sitting on the couch absorbed in a game of Mario Kart. Raven was meditating in a lotus position near the ceiling and Starfire was enjoying a nice refreshing glass of Mustard…
"Out of the way, meat bag! Cyborg's got a race to win!"
"In your dreams, Tin Man!"
"Booya! Green Turtle shell to the face!"
When in the middle of the room a flash of light flared briefly, leaving a blue skinned, black electrified hair and red spandex jumpsuit-ed guy standing in the room.
"NEVER FEAR! FREAKAZOID IS HERE!"
"And don't worry! I brought all my favorite episodes of the Brady Bunch!" His arms were full of video cassettes.
A shiver went down the spines of almost everyone in the tower as almost everyone stared at the being with mouths wide in horror.
"Hello my new blue skinned friend! I am called Starfire!"
"Hey Starfire! I'm Freakazoid! You wanna have some FUN?"
"Oh I do so enjoy the activity of having fun, friend Freak Zoid!"
With a flash of movement, the two were gone from the room.
Cyborg was huddled shaking behind beast Boy who himself was trying to make himself as small as possible and forgetting he had shape shifting powers.
"Tell me that wasn't who I thought it was." Cyborg quivered, the game forgotten.
Raven gave a small almost unnoticeable shudder. "I'll be in my room barricading the door on the chance he might be returning."
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
DAA DUN DUUUUUUHH!