A/N: Hey everyone! Sooo this is my first attempt at a twilight fan fic so please go easy on me. I've really tried my best and I'm happy with this firs chapter. I hope you enjoy as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I only own the plot.

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He's older…

My heart clenched tightly in my chest.

He looked older…he was older.

My hands held a vice like grip on the steering wheel of my car.

So much, older…

Before I knew it, my arms were wrapped tightly around my mid section. My chest was heaving, I couldn't breathe. The ripping and burning was all too familiar, though the boy, no man, was not.

Older. Older. Older. Older.

The word was sharp and hard against my heart beating in time with it. He had made his decision, he had made his choice.

And it wasn't me.

I turned the ignition, fumbling with the keys, desperate to get out of there. I was stupid, so stupid. What was I doing here? I had no business here.

3 years. It had been three years since I'd last seen him, seen any of them.

Charlie, Billy, Sam, the pack, Mike, Angela, Ben, and J-

My heart clenched and the hole tore deeper at the thought of his name.

Jacob, my Jacob.

The house was the same; everything was the same.

But he wasn't. He was older.

The soft glow floating through the window sent a familiar sense of warmth surging through my body, the smell of Emily's cooking thrilled my stomach; and the sound of booming laughter filled my heart with joy.

But it wasn't mine; it no longer belonged to me.

I had caught a glimpse of him through the window, but it was all that I needed. He was big, but bigger; his russet skin, dark and glowing in the light of the room. His face, his face was more defined, rougher; sharper.

Older. Jacob, my Jacob.

Not mine, not me.

He chose.

I tore my eyes from the house, and shifted the gear into Reverse. I needed to get out of there. Before the tears, the waterworks, and the hurt; I wasn't ready yet.

Tap. Tap.

I shrieked, throwing my hands to my face.

I turned to my window and gasped. It was Embry, Embry Call, standing at my window. His expression filled with confusion, his eyes with disbelief.

I tried to steady my breathing. I shifted back to park. I rolled my window down.

"Bella?" He whispered.

And that was all it took. All noise in the house immediately stopped, the only sound left was the fading peel of laughter, a woman' voice; one I could not recognize. The air was still and thick with tension, I could have choked on it.

The front door slammed open.

"Hey, Embry," I mumbled, feigning surprise. Happiness.

He was there, I knew Jacob was there. I couldn't bring my eyes to look at him.

Older, so much older.

"How are you?"

He stuttered over an answer. Something along the lines of,

"You're here, I'm good," He gasped. "You're here?"

I attempted a smile; it turned out more like a grimace.

"Yeah, I'm back." The words hung in the air between us.

Embry nodded and looked towards the porch. I didn't follow his gaze, keeping mine trained on his face. Embry looked the same.

He wasn't older.

Embry nodded his head slightly then turned back to me.

"Hey Bella, it was good to see you."

No, no, no.

"I'm gonna go inside though," He ran a hand through his cropped hair. "Let everyone know you're back."

Right, like they already didn't know.

I nodded my head. Embry turned and walked away, again my eyes did not follow.

I turned my car off and returned my hands to the steering wheel. My heart clenched tightly, accelerating.

The stairs didn't creak, the ground made no sound, but he was there before me, before the car. His large framed cast a shadow over me, something I thought impossible; it was night, shadows don't occur at night.

Older and bigger.

I took a deep breath and raised my eyes to his. My breath hitched, I choked. His eyes, those beautiful eyes. Dark and brooding; disbelief.

I couldn't tear my eyes away. He was so beautiful.

Jacob, my Jacob.

I gripped the steering wheel, I couldn't breathe.

Then suddenly I was crying and I was in his arms. I never registered leaving my car; I never noticed the slam of my car door as it closed. All that mattered was that I was in his arms, crying and shaking.

"Bella, Bella" He whispered over and over again into my hair.

His warmth was shocking or maybe I was just so cold.

I pressed myself closer to him, my palms flat against his chest, his bare chest. His heart thudded against my fingers, I kissed his chest.

"Jacob," I cried, and squeezed closer. "Jake,"

"You're home," He kissed my forehead. "God, you're home."

His hands wrapped around my waist pulling me impossibly closer. I reached up and grabbed his face, my hands tracing the outline of his jaw. He leaned into my hand, breathing deeply. And then suddenly his lips were on mine.

I was vaguely aware of the tight grip of his hands on my hips as I tangled my hands into his short hair. I gripped at what ever I could.

I kissed him hard and fast, my lips moving swiftly with his. It was rough and raw, almost animalistic; and I was growing lightheaded but I didn't care. I bit his bottom lip, pulling and tugging. He let out a low growl, pulling me closer to him, tracing his tongue across my own bottom lip.

I opened my mouth drawing him in instantly. His breath was hot in my mouth, his tongue working wonders as it danced with mine. His scent was intoxicating, woods, earth, and rain. His taste, he still tasted the same.

I whimpered lightly as he lifted me up onto the hood of my car. My legs wrapped tightly around his waist, pushing myself into him. His hands ran lightly up and down my back, raking and dragging out long lines of want and need.

"Jacob," I groaned into his mouth.

He moved his body hard against me, gripping at me tightly; moans and groans escaping his lips setting my skin blazing, my body on fire. I clutched at his arms, moving with him.

"Bella," He moaned.

I hadn't realized how badly I missed him. I hadn't realized how much I needed him. I had spent three whole years, yearning for him, craving him. But the reality of it the realness and extent of my isolation had hit me then and there, with his lips on mine; his body against mine.

Jacob's hands moved and tangled into my hair and he kissed me harder. My heart swelled.

"I love you," I whispered against his lips.

Jacob, my Jacob.

And then it all came crashing down and I was suddenly cold.

Jacob's hands froze within my hair, his body still and tense. My grip on his arms loosened, falling away from him slowly. I lifted my eyes to look at him, but they were squeezed shut, a look of pain displayed across his face.

"Jake," My voice was nothing but a whisper.

"Bella," He whispered, his voice filled with grief. "No."

No. Jacob. Older.

Mine, not mine.

He moved away from me, my head fell into my hands.

He chose.

"You're older," Was all I could whisper.

**

A/N: Hope you liked it! Don't forget to rate and review! More is on the way =)