Something's wrong between them.
You'd have to be daft not to notice. Like Wormtail, for instance. Wormtail is happily eating his pie, completely oblivious to all the tension at the table.
Sirius and Remus won't even look at each other. They're silent and barely picking at their food.
Two seventeen year old boys opting not to be pigs when a feast was right in front of them—-if that's not suspicious, I don't know what is.
Where were all the secretive touches and looks of pure wanting (or impure, depending on how you look at it…)? They thought I didn't notice these past weeks, every time Sirius' hand would stealthily slide under the table and Remus' eyes would bug out. They thought they were being so sneaky when they tried to pass off those naughty looking red marks on their respective necks as "must be those damn Muggle Rooster pox". They thought I believed them when I caught them in a very compromising position and they claimed to have "tripped".
How daft do they think I am? I know the two gits were shagging. They aren't gits for shagging, mind you. They're gits for keeping it a secret, probably thinking I wouldn't accept it.
But I saw the way they used to steal glances at each other in classes. I saw the way Remus would smile at Sirius, like Sirius was his entire world. The pair of them were the happiest I have ever seen in my life. It was like they had temporarily forgotten who they were, what their life was. Werewolf and pureblood social outcast.
No, together, they were just plain old Remus and Sirius.
How could I not accept something like that?
Now I see the way Sirius looks at Remus with pleading in his eyes. Remus catches his gaze briefly, glaring coldly and looking away.
My best mate obviously went and mucked things up, as usual. Now he's hurting, and it's all but breaking my poor little heart to see him like this.
Once they get back together, all I can say is...poor Moony! The general female population of Hogwarts is going to murder him in his sleep if they get wind that he snagged Sirius "-ly sexy" Black away from the lot of them...
Their nickname, not mine.
James looked back and forth between his two friends. They were on opposite sides of the Gryffindor common room, moodily working on their assignments.
James sighed, rumpling his hair. It was now or never.
"Oy, Moony, Padfoot, I know you're having some sort of lovers' spat, but would you mind sitting a bit closer so I don't have to screech if I need to say something?" he yelled.
Both of their heads shot up in unison, looking horrified. A moment later, they slowly obeyed, both sitting on the couch across from him.
James noted with satisfaction that this was the closest he'd seen them together in days.
Remus seemed to notice this as well because he scooted away from Sirius.
"What do you mean, lovers' spat?" Sirius laughed nervously, trying to appear calm.
James sighed again. "You two are obvious," he replied nonchalantly.
"How long have you--?"
"A while," James confirmed.
"And you're okay with--"
"'Course. Now tell me what happened."
Sirius took a deep breath. "Remus wouldn't let me be on top the other night!" he whined loudly.
Remus narrowed his eyes.
Sirius had the decency to blush.
"Sorry, Moony," he said quietly, looking truly contrite.
Remus stared at the ground. "Sirius, just…don't apologize. We're probably better off this way."
"What if I don't want to be better off?" Sirius asked a bit childishly.
"You said it yourself…we're just two blokes fooling around."
"I didn't mean--" Sirius tried to interject.
"—and if that's all this relationship means to you, then maybe we shouldn't have a relationship at all." Remus looked into Sirius gray eyes, seeming to have forgotten James' presence. "Somehow, I fell in love with you, Sirius. I couldn't help it, I just did. It's supposed to be all wrong, but I can't deny what I feel for you anymore."
"Remus…" Sirius pleaded.
"I'm not about to let you toy with my emotions. This can't just be about convenience, Sirius. And if you don't feel the same way about me, then ending…this…was logical," Remus finished.
Sirius was silent as Remus got up and retreated to the dormitories.
After James had fully processed the situation, he leaned over and swiftly whacked Sirius upside the head.
"What the bleedin' hell was that for?!?" Sirius demanded, hurriedly smoothing his hair back to perfection.
"Go up and tell Moony that you love him too, prat," James said, annoyed.
"And when did you become the soddin' matchmaker around here?"
"Since I realized that two of my friends are in love."
"How are you so sure that I'm in love with Remus, James? Maybe he was just a nice shag buddy to me!"
"That's not true, Padfoot--"
"Maybe he was a great outlet for my pent up sexual energy! Maybe I was getting restless because the supply of girls around here has been lacking lately!!!"
"Padfoot, there are plenty of willing AND ready girls…"
"Or maybe it's because he looked so irresistible and delicious that night after Christmas, and I couldn't help myself!!!" Sirius was almost in a frenzy by now, trying to sort out his feelings. "The way his hair fell over his eyes…those gorgeous amber eyes…and his nose would twitch in this adorable way every time I would say something particularly stupid…" Sirius trailed off.
James raised an eyebrow. "I think that's your answer, mate."
"No! All that's confirming is that I've turned into some bloody hysterical, horribly romantic middle aged woman! That's not proving that I love Remus, which I…do…"
Sirius' eyes got huge and round.
"Bugger. I love Remus."
James patted his shoulder. "Good for you, Padfoot."
"He wasn't just my manly sex slave! I actually loved him!"
James' face contorted. "Too much information."
"I'm going to go tell him!" Sirius bounced out of his seat excitedly.
"Good luck," James said, grinning.
Just then, Remus reappeared at the bottom of the steps. He looked unsure about something.
"Sirius, I might have been too rash about thi---SIRIUS!!!!"
Whatever Remus was about to say had been cut off by Sirius' sudden pouncing on him.
"I love you, Remus!! I just figured it out…I've loved you all along! Isn't that great?"
Remus looked up at him with suspicion.
"If you're just saying that, Sirius--"
"I'm not," Sirius said, for lack of a better word, seriously.
"How can you be--"
Sirius leaned down kissed him enthusiastically.
To James, it looked like Remus was double chocolate cake, and Sirius was very, very hungry…
James coughed uncomfortably. "Glad you could work things out," he said, fleeing from the room to give the couple some privacy.
"I love you, my Moony," Sirius announced as they broke apart.
Remus smiled in the way that only Sirius could cause him to.
"I love you too, Sirius. I guess we could try this again."
"I don't know why you object so much to being labeled my wanton sex toy, Remus. It's a great position to be in, you know…"
Remus grinned wickedly. "You know what's an even better position to be in?"
Sirius wiggled his eyebrows.
"Now we're talkin'."