Revealed: Part One

On iTunes, the official description of "Rise of The Bounty Hunters" says "...the lives of the Jedi become even more complex as secret and hidden relationships are revealed..." and that fueled the little plot bunny running on a treadmill. He won't stop running until I write something. So here's the Anakin/Padme relationship... revealed. Enjoy. ;)

Ahsoka didn't think it would be the death of her when she moved into the Master/Padawan apartments with Anakin. Sure, she threatened it would be occasionally, when he left his clothes or dirty dishes everywhere, or hogged the bathroom just so she couldn't go. But they had always been empty threats; she never took them literally.

Until she walked in, late one night after helping Madam Nu in the archives, and found her Master having sex on the sofa. Her eyes grew wide, and she gasped and stumbled back into the door.

"M-m-m-master? Wha-"

He didn't hear her over the woman's moaning. After about three seconds, she decided that was three seconds too long standing there and locked herself in her small bedroom. Ahsoka didn't know that Anakin knew she had seen him. Until he knocked on her door early in the morning.

"Snips."

He had his lightsaber drawn, and was standing next to his sleeping Padawan. The Togruta had finally fallen asleep after nightmares of Anakin and his apparent pastimes, so she didn't hear.

"Ahsoka."

Still, she slept on.

"AHSOKA!"

The Jedi Knight (not Master, and it irked Anakin so) tore the covers off his Padawan's bed, and was rewarded with her startled awakening.

"Master? What is it? A Separatist attack? Why are you in my room, anyway? I thought we agreed-"

"-that I would stay out? Yeah, I think we did agree that."

"Then why are you-"

Anakin sighed and sat at the end of the bed.

"Ahsoka, there's something you should know. I'm not very good at keeping promises. I thought you had figured it out, but I guess not."

A few moments of silence had followed.

"Okay..."

"Yeah. I know you walked in on Padme and I having sex-"

"YOU WERE HAVING SEX WITH SENATOR AMIDALA?? A SENATOR??"

"Yes, I was. I'm married to her, so it's not like it's illegal for me to have sex with her."

"YOU MARRIED A SENATOR? The Council is gonna flip! It IS illegal, Master!"

Anakin sighed again.

"Snips, I thought we already covered this? I'm not good at keeping promises."

"Oh, that's right."

"So, before you rudely interrupted my story, I was having sex with my wife when you walked in. And since it's not legal for a Jedi to be in relationships like that, I'm sorry, but.."

"But what, Master?"

"You know too much, Ahsoka. I just told you all - well, okay, really just a few - of my darkest secrets. I know you're a goody-goody two shoes, and I know you'll go tell the Council, so I'm gonna have to..."

Ahsoka, still half-asleep, stared blankly at Anakin.

"... kill you."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah. I never wanted a Padawan anyway. Sorry. This is just a step in my slow turn to the Dark Side, so it's kinda all your fault that I turn and Padme dies and -"

"-why is it my fault?"

"Because you walked in on me having sex, and now I have to kill you. Seriously, please attempt to keep up, Snips."

Then, without regret, Anakin ran his Padawan through with his lightsaber and promptly left the room.

"Okay, Angel, problem solved."