Disclaimer: Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, Ranma 1/2 and all other assorted series are owned by their respective owners. I am not making a profit off of this.
Notes: Based in the "Time Loops" by Innortal, a time-looping Ranma finds himself thrust into the role of Jail Scagiletti. Now as Ranma Scagiletti, he plans to make things far more interesting than they were originally for everyone on Midchilda.
Ranma groaned as he blinked and woke up. This wasn't Nerima. He nearly jumped up and cheered. How many loops had he been stuck in that place lately? He had lost count.
"Doctor." A soft voice caught his attention as he blinked. He didn't expect to see a purple-haired, yellow-eyed woman in a secretary suit walking to him. "Are you well?" She asked, smiling pleasantly, though Ranma knew there was more to it than that.
"Uno." He said as he knew what was going on, or rather, at least who she was. "Tell me something, which of your sisters hasn't been activated yet?" At least he knew who he was in this loop. He was Ranma Scagiletti, mad scientist, terrorist, dimensional criminal, and about to have a whole lot of fun with the people of Mid-childa. Even if Fate and Nanoha were awake in this loop (which they probably were), it wouldn't help them, not this time.
She blinked at the odd question, but answered. "Sette, Otto and Deed."
"Has the Saint Kaiser been discovered yet?"
"Ah, no. but we believe that we know where she'll pop up soon."
"Ah, good, good. Gather your sisters and meet me in the conference room."
"...We do not have a conference room." Uno blinked. "We usually just meet wherever you want us to."
Ranma blinked and turned to stare at her. "We do not have a conference room?" He asked incredulously. Seeing her shake her head, he frowned. "What kind of evil mad scientist am I if I don't have a conference room? Lex Luthor would be so disappointed in me!" He groused, pulled some wooden planks out from behind his back, a saw, a hammer and some nails. "Well, time to get to work." He said and walked off leaving a confused Uno in his wake.
Hours later Uno found herself in a hastily put together conference room with all her activated sisters sitting in front of a rectangular table with Ranma sitting at the end, Quattro on his left, Uno on his right, Nove, Wendi and Sein sitting next to Uno while Tre, Cinque and Dieci sat next to Quattro.
Uno didn't know what was more surprising, the fact that there was now a conference room, or the fact that the doctor had built it in only a few hours. "Doctor, just what is it that you called us here for?"
"Ah, I'm glad you asked." Ranma grinned as he stood up, the lights dimmed and a projection appeared in the middle of the table. "As you know, the Saint Kaiser is to be found soon, and I will send several of you in a, rather futile, I might say, attempt to capture her before the TSAB sends in its most powerful group to secure her and two relics that she's carrying." Many of the Numbers frowned, why had he just insulted their abilities?
"While there is really no way for us to defeat any of the Aces in a straight up fight," well, he could, but that would be boring, "I do have a better way for us to win."
Cinque would blink, but she was missing a second eye to make that function possible. "What is that, doctor?"
Ranma suddenly grinned in such a way that all the cyborgs suddenly felt chills run down their spines. "Why, we prank them of course!"
Quattro blinked at him as if he were insane. "Prank them?"
Tre slammed her fists onto the table. "What kind of lame plan is that?" Sure, she might be willing to die for the doctor, but she needed to know what was going through his head at that moment.
"Ah! I'm glad you asked." Ranma smirked at her. "You see, straight up combat is just... So out. It's too easy to figure out how a person thinks when they fight. Pranking, now that's just so much more fun. After all, bruises, broken bones and pain all fade away, humiliation, now that lasts forever." He would know, considering how often he and the other Anchors ended up pranking each other.
"Okay, so, we go and prank them... How?" Sein asked, curious and actually very interested. This seemed so much more fun than she had thought it would be.
Ranma grinned at her. "Just leave that to me." He already had Shadow Clones working on modifying the flying drones, Deici's heavy cannon and a few other things that were coming up. He suddenly pointed at Wendi and Nove. "You two, I've got a special mission for you." He then pointed at Uno. "Give Lutecia and Zest a call, I need to talk to them." Even if it was for a loop, he could fix Lutecia's mother and stop Zest's body from breaking down. After all, learning a few tricks from Urahara, Gina and other mad scientists really gave him an excellent idea or three for fixing people. He then pointed at Tre. "You, find a guy and get laid in the next 24 hours." Seeing the utterly serious member stare at him and several of the younger Numbers all blush heavily, he smirked to himself, this was fun! He pointed at Quattro. "Call Due up and tell her to hurry up with her mission. Those floating brains are giving me a headache."
"What about me? Cinque asked as he smiled at her.
"Oh, I think you'll like what I've got planned. Now if you'll excuse me..." He said, smirking at them. "I need Nove and Wendi to meet me at the labs." He disappeared in a poof of smoke, getting blinks and blank stares from everyone.
"I don't care if he has gone crazy, that was so cool!" Wendi grinned, grabbed Nove and ran for the labs.
The remaining cyborgs looked at each other, trying to figure out what to do.
"Hey, call me crazy, but I'm interested in seeing what he's got planned." Sein spoke up, grinning. The idea of doing pranks rather than fighting sounded good to her, she was the least capable, combat-wise, of all her sisters.
Uno shrugged. "I guess we should follow the plan now."
Quattro and Tre both frowned, they didn't like it, well, Quattro didn't like the plan, Tre didn't like the thought of having a guy run his grubby hands all over her body. Unless it was the doctor, and even then, she wasn't sure about it.
Nove blinked as she was handed a new gauntlet to put over her right hand and one to put on her left. "Um... What are these for?"
"Quite honestly, dear, while you're good, you're going up against people who would kick your pretty little butt in two seconds flat." Ranma said, ignoring the way that Nove would both frown and blush at him. "So, instead of taking the time to make sure that you can, in fact, beat them in a fight, I've given you something that will both annoy your enemies and ensure your victory."
Wendi looked at the gun in her hands. "What's this for?" It was a hand gun with a clown face on the front.
Ranma chuckled. "Oh, don't worry, it's a lot of fun. Unless your name is Batman, then it's no fun."
Wendi blinked, not really getting the reference.
"Ah, Dieci, you came here."
"Yes." She blinked as he waggled his finger at her.
"No, no... You can't just be all "yes" around me, you need a personality. When your next mission is done, I'm ordering you to start finding stuff that you enjoy that doesn't involve blowing stuff up..." Ranma blinked as he thought about it. "Actually, no, you can blow stuff up if you want to." Far be it from him to deny someone that simple pleasure.
Wendi's eyes sparkled as she heard him basically give her and her sisters the go-ahead to make everything explode. "Really?"
Ranma nodded at her. "Why, yes. Make things explode... Like this!" He suddenly pulled out something from his pocket and threw it down the hallway, where there was a flash, a bang and someone screaming. "Ooops..."
A moment later, Quattro walked in, her hair smoking as Sein and Cinque both tried to put out the remaining embers in what remained of her once-long hair. Considering that it was now falling off of her head, leaving her bald, it was a losing battle.
Wendi tried to keep it in, she really did, but seeing Quattro's head on fire was just too rich. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She fell over laughing hard.
Ranma smirked. "You see, Wendi, that's how that works."
"WENDI!!" Quattro screamed, suddenly pouncing for her younger sister.
"Ack! Quattro! Stop!" Wendi rolled away from Quattro, who was either trying to choke her, or gouge her eyes out.
"Ahhh... Sisterly love, isn't it great?" Ranma said, getting a weird look from Dieci and Nove.
Uno, walking into the main room, blinked as she saw Ranma there. "Ah, doctor, I thought you'd be at the lab."
"I am." He grinned at her.
"I... See..." She trailed off, blinking as she saw the tube with Megane Alphine floating in it. "What are you going to do with her?"
"Nothing much, just fixing her. She should be able to move around in a few minutes." Ranma shrugged and continued working several healing spells into Megane. This was actually pretty hard to do, especially since he was just one of fifty clones running around the place. "Now, call up Lutecia and Zest for me."
"Ah, right..." She punched a few buttons, a view screen showing Zest and Lutecia walking through a forest appeared. "Ah, Miss Alphine, Mr. Zest. Miss Agito." She smiled pleasantly at the three. "I do hope that you three aren't busy."
"Oi..." The redheaded device glared at her. "We're not doing your dirty work unless you have a Relic for Lulu to find."
"Ah! Nothing of the sort!" Ranma spoke up as he walked into view, grinning at the trio. "Miss Lutecia... I have recently discovered a way to fix your mother."
Her eyes widened, as did Zest's and Agito's as they stared at the view screen. "You can fix my mother?" She asked softly.
"Oh yes. But it might take a couple days for her to fully get the use of her body back normally."
"Oh..." She said softly, slightly disappointed.
"She'll be fine, I promise you that." He grinned at her. "But I have a small, small favor to ask of you three."
"What?" Lutecia asked, her eyes showing that if he did fix her mother, she would do anything for him.
"Well, I would need you three to return here, there's been a small change in plans, and I'd rather tell you three personally. You, Zest, you might be interested in what I'm planning personally."
"And me?" Agito narrowed her eyes at him.
"Well, honestly, I never thought about it. Hahahahaha!" He suddenly cackled, getting odd looks from everyone. "What? Can't a mad scientist break out into laughter like this?" He shrugged, people had no sense of style these days. "Bah! Whatever. Just you three get here and I'll show you what I have planned. Ta ta." He grinned and shut the communication array off.
"Can you fix her?"
"Already did." Ranma smirked at her, getting a blink in surprise. "Had to draw upon the latent energy the Dragon Lines, cross-fuse it with Mid-Childan, Belkan and Earth-based healing magic, cast a resurrection spell on top of a recovery spell... Boy I'm tired now. Anyway, she'll be fine." Ranma walked off, muttering something about needing to finish a honey bomb.
Uno blinked, she hadn't expected this... Sein was right, this was getting interesting.
It was finally the day that the Saint Kaiser was going to appear, the day that the Numbers took the field and took out the annoying Riot Force Six.
At least that's what Quattro, wearing a wig, wanted to believe. No, instead, she was certain that this was all going to go badly. At least the doctor had told her to keep to her original role and disguise the drones that they were sending out with illusionary copies of the originals. She just didn't think she liked what the originals were going to do now.
Another thing that bugged her was that the doctor had undid all the hard work she had done to Sette. Why would she need those useless things like emotions anyway? It just didn't make sense. Still, she had a job to do, and she wouldn't fail him, then she could find out what was going on.
...And just why was Tre blushing around the doctor anyway? She had heard Tre screaming a few hours after that "conference" and she and Cinque had quickly checked on Tre, only to find her stumbling around, blushing and babbling incoherently while Ranma whistled tunelessly as he passed her.
"I.S. Silver Curtain." She whispered as she saw the two Aces fly into the battle zone. Now she would see just what modifications that the doctor had done to the drones would do.
Nanoha narrowed her eyes and sighed. "Let's get this over with, Fate-chan."
Fate nodded, knowing that both of them could get rid of these drones before they got too problematic, get back to the helicopter and save the people inside. Not Vivio, even before the loops, Vivio would be able to withstand anything Dieci could throw at them, but the others inside. The weird thing about the loops was that no matter how many times they looped, Dieci and Quattro were always in a different area sniping at the helicopter.
It was almost as if it was supposed to happen or something.
Sighing, Nanoha held out Raising Heart and blasted one of the drones, smiling as her shot over-whelmed the puny A.M.F. and tore through the machine. However, she didn't expect it to explode in a variety of colors, or said colors to be wet and stick to her barrier jacket, making it look green, yellow and red at the same time. "What the heck?" She wondered, blasting another one, this time she had to cover her face as she was covered in some sort of yellow, sticky substance. "...Honey?" It was stuck in her hair now to. "This sucks."
"Nanoha!" Fate groaned as she was covered in sticky, smelly, wet trash. "...Someone is going to pay for this." Literally too, since it took so long to wash her hair.
"Hey, are you two okay out there?" They heard Hayate's voice speak up.
"We will be when these drones are dead."
"Hey, leave that to me." She said and started charging up magic. "If I can get some help." She said to mission control.
"Of course!" The people sitting at the consoles all said at the same time as they worked calculations, angles and other variables into the computers.
Ranma started chuckling madly. "Oh, they think they're so good, huh? Uno, do it!" He grinned at her as she started giggling while hacking Riot Force Six's computers. "Let's see them handle this one!"
"Uh, sir..." Everyone stared at the screens as they changed from tactical data to something more...
The women in the control room blushed heavily while many of the guys started drooling, those that didn't passed out with terrible nosebleeds.
It wasn't often that naked pictures of the three legendary Aces were put up on screen for everyone to stare at after all.
"Ah, guys... Help?" Hayate sweat-dropped, but she couldn't hold her spell in anymore, letting go, it arched out, thankfully hitting her targets... And a few mountains behind them. "..." Hayate couldn't believe she missed so badly. At least no one was living there.
Blinking as a spear was jabbed right in front of her chest, Lutecia looked at the redheaded boy in front of her, before tilting her head, reaching behind her and pulling out a small box. "For you."
"Eh?" Erio blinked as she tossed the box to him. "Vita-san?" He asked, holding it to her, he didn't want to risk doing something stupid.
Grumbling, Vita went to the box and looked at it, she couldn't sense anything dangerous and lifting it up didn't reveal anything suspicious. Still... "Better not open it."
"Oi... Hammer loli's afraid of a little box." Agito, tied up as she was, grinned at Vita, who twitched and glared at her. "What's wrong? Afraid of a box?"
"Fine! I'll prove that I'm not, BWAH!" Vita pulled the cover off, jumping back as fake snakes popped out of it and flew everywhere. "...Who came up with something so..."
Her words were cut off with a "splut".
Vita blinked as her face was suddenly covered in cool whip and chocolate, the pie tin falling to the ground slowly.
Lutecia blinked innocently, held up another pie and threw it at Caro, splattering her dress. "...The doctor was right, this is fun." She said softly.
Ginga nearly said something when a shadow came overhead. "Heads up!" She yelled as there was a plinking sound as a few small canisters hit the ground near their feet, spraying out a smoke-screen.
Wendi grinned and nodded to Nove, who was riding in right behind her. Jumping down into the smoke, Nove shot several shots at Erio, Caro, Ginga, Subaru and Teana, grabbed Lutecia and Agito, ran out of the smoke and drove off on her version of Wing Road.
Coughing as the smoke cleared, Rein blinked, and stared, before she started laughing, everyone looked like a demented clown painter had decided to have fun with all of them.
Twitching, Subaru looked at herself and frowned, this was not how this day was supposed to go. And since when did Lutecia ever develop a sense of humor anyway? "Urgh... What is that stench?" She groaned.
"The paint." Teana gagged, who put such a stench in this stuff?!
Dieci was silent as her gun powered up. "I.S. Heavy Barrage." She whispered, firing her cannon at the helicopter. She blinked as what came out of her cannon, something Brianna Diggers would love to have in her collection, was not her usual heavy cannon shell but rather... "Rotten tomato juice." She said as the stench hit her, and Nanoha, who got in front of the blast, trying to stop it, but it still soaked her and the helicopter in one go. "..." She fired again, this time getting something different. Looking at the gauge that the Doctor installed onto her gun, she blinked. "Ode De Le Pepe Le Pu?" Why did she get the sudden urge to be thankful she wasn't a cat.
"Okay, we did our jobs, let's get out of here." Quattro muttered irritably. How could anyone find this fun?
Ranma grinned as he saw all of his cyborgs, Lutecia and Agito walking back into base. "Ah! Welcome back! Did you all have a good time?"
"That was so much fun!" Wendi grinned and glomped him, hugging tightly. "Can we do it again?! Please?"
Ranma laughed. "Sure! We'll terrorize Mid-Childa through pranks!"
"YAY!" Wendi was sure happy, so was Nove, she rather liked the looks she saw on all the clothes that she ruined. "Hey, what gave you such a wonderful idea anyway?"
Ranma chuckled. "Now that... is a secret!" He was glad Xellos wasn't here.
Idly he wondered just how much Nanoha and Fate were going to hate him after this. Ah well, they were the only ones, besides maybe a couple of others, that would remember this anyway.
Sitting in the shower as they tried to get the smell, the paint, garbage and honey off of their bodies, Nanoha and Fate had come to an easy agreement. One of the other anchors had put the combat cyborgs up to doing this insanity. And when they found out who, there would be hell to pay.
...Just as soon as they stopped stinking up the place.
Ranma smirked as he and Nove ate pizza in silence.
"Sparring with Zest."
"Oh." Nove blinked. "What did you do to him?"
"Ah..." Ranma grinned as he got up and pulled out several charts from somewhere and put them on a stand. "You see, Zest's problem was that he was already dead and that his body, fixed as it was, was starting to fall apart. All I did was pull out his soul and power and stuff it into a false body that dead spirits use to wander around freely among the living."
"Wait, so, it's just a doll for a dead spirit?" Nove wondered as Ranma nodded at her.
"Oh yes, but it is fully functional. It's possible for people who are in these things to have children, grow old, live and die as normal humans. It's called a Gigai, that's all." Ranma shrugged.
"Ah." Nove nodded and bit into her pizza, before looking at Ranma curiously. "Just why is Tre acting like a blushing school girl?"
Ranma shrugged and smirked at her. "I could show you."
"Ah... Um... Well..." Nove blushed heavily as Ranma started chuckling. "You're teasing me!"
"Partly. I can teach it to Wendi and have her do it to you if you'd prefer."
"What makes you think Wendi and I are doing anything together?!"
Ranma shook his head at the blushing Nove. "No reason."
Agito looked at Lutecia as she slept in Megane's arms, cuddling close to her mother. "I've never seen her like this, Lulu always is quiet."
Megane nodded, smiling at her. "Thank you for looking over my daughter."
"Ah... She looked over me, actually. I just don't like seeing her hurt."
Megane nodded and looked up as Cinque limped by, Zest, slightly cut up, following her a moment later. "Have fun?"
Cinque nodded and limped down to the medical area for some treatment.
"She's gotten better." Zest said, though that may have been because he wasn't used to this new body just yet. It was exactly the same as his old one, it just felt different.
"Oi! Meister... What should we do now?"
Zest shrugged at Agito's question and looked at Megane, who smiled as she rubbed her daughter's back. "I need to talk to Regisus, I would like your help with that, Agito."
"I want to go with as well." Megane spoke up. "I owe Quint that much at least. She kept me from dying, but she died in my place."
Zest nodded. "Though, I have to wonder why the doctor wants us to take those items with."
Agito shrugged, hell if she knew.
Quattro frowned as she worked on her projects, just because the doctor decided to go crazy and against his original ideas didn't mean that she had to forget. She was rather upset that Tre was actually happy, her hard work on Sette had gone down the tube and Uno was totally supporting the doctor. She couldn't blame the younger sisters, they didn't know any better. But did Cinque have to start hoarding plushy toys these days?
"Ooooh! What does THIS button do?!" Quattro's eyes widened as she spun around, seeing Sette pushing a button.
"No! Sette! Don't!" Quattro yelled as the experiment she was working on exploded around her, burning the cheap wig on her head to dust, leaving her bald and eyebrow-less. "Get out of my laboratory!" She screamed, pushing Sette out of the room and closing the door.
Sette seemed to pout and smiled at Ranma, who grinned at her. "That was fun, dad!"
Ranma blinked and seemed to pale. "Uh, did you call me, dad?"
The tall pink-haired girl nodded at him. "Yep. You did save me from being mindless."
Ranma groaned, why did he have a feeling this would come back to bite him in the ass?
Oh well, at least Quattro would get annoyed. He had put a compulsion into Sette's mind to totally wreck Quattro's lab at every possible moment.
Idly, he wondered how Dexter ever put up with Dee Dee doing that to his lab.
Sein grinned at Wendi, who grinned back as the two of them worked on their new toys. "This is a lot more fun than before."
Wendi giggled and nodded. "Oh yes, I wish I could have stuck around and saw the looks on everyone's faces."
"So, what's next?" Dieci asked as she listened to various music from the MP3 player that the doctor had gotten for her. She liked the rock and roll music.
"Well, the doctor wanted us to wait until the big meeting with all the big wigs of the TSAB got together." Sein smirked as she saw Quattro grumbling as she walked past. "You guys think that the doctor is upset with Quattro?"
Wendi nodded, but considering that Quattro had tried to hurt her, she really didn't feel sorry for her. "Maybe, but everyone else is happy about the pranks."
"Yeah..." Dieci nodded as the song changed that she was listening to.
There was a loud explosion that rocked from the hallway, getting the three to tense and stand up, preparing themselves for an attack.
"You BRATS!" Quattro's voice was heard, causing Wendi, Sein and Dieci to look up, blinking as Otto and Deed ran past the door, stopped, turned and fired something from the super soakers that they had on them, to the fuming Quattro. The three sighed and sat back down, it was just Quattro getting upset again.
"Better her than us." Dieci said as Quattro, covered in egg yolk, ran past trying to get Otto and Deed. Wendi and Sein both nodded and went back to ignoring it.
Sein had her finger through the ceiling as people congregated below. Her camera-finger took in all the details. She didn't know why the doctor had told her to be careful if she saw any of the three Aces, or the Wolkenritter, but everyone else was fair game. Which was good. She looked at the list in her hands, those people were to be hit the hardest. She had their names and their faces. Seeing some of the things that they had done really irritated even her.
Especially as the doctor had taken the time to explain to all of them, except for Quattro, who was trying to get another wig to stay on her head, just how these things were considered bad by everyone else.
Still, thanks to Uno's hacking the locks on the building, and keeping everyone from going anywhere was a real help. "Well, bombs away!" She thought to herself as she started throwing rotten eggs down at select members of the TSAB's high council, pelting them and stinking up the room, getting people to start looking around, yelling and cursing as they were pelted with the stench.
Hayate frowned as she plugged her nose from the stench, some anchor was doing this, she knew it. Now if only she knew which one.
Regisus ran. The old, out of shape general ran like his life depended on it. He was lucky that the doctor told him that he would be needing to leave quite a bit early. Panting as he got into the parking lot, he wondered just why that pink haired cyborg wouldn't stop chasing him, that gun looked scary!
"Regisus..." A voice that he hadn't heard in eight years made him stop cold.
"Zest... Megane... You two... You're supposed to be dead!" He looked at them with wide eyes. The little girl and the small unison device floating by said girl went largely unnoticed by the panicking general. Had Zest come to kill him? Had Megane? Did they want revenge over what happened eight years ago to them? To Quint?
"You with-held information, Regisus." Megane stated softly. "The doctor told us what happened."
"You trusted him? But he's the reason that you all got hurt that day."
"Yes. But he apologized to us and helped us live again... But first, we need to deal with you." Zest said gravely, getting a pale look from Regisus.
"Yes... So..." Megane pulled out a gun, pointed it at the large general and pulled the trigger.
Regisus closed his eyes, expecting the worst. When nothing happened, he opened his eye, seeing a stick out of the handle, a white flag on it. Megane grinned and turned the gun to the side, letting him see the words "Bang" on it.
"Oh thank god..." Regisus let out a sigh and started laughing, only to blink as Zest pulled out a gun with a boxing glove on the end, pointed it at him, pulled the trigger, allowing the glove to fire out from the end and hit the large general in the face, knocking him down and out.
"Hit harder than I thought." Zest muttered as he looked up, seeing Sette, holding a weird gun. "What does that do?"
"Splut" Zest blinked as he was hit in the face with a lemon pie.
"It's a pie gun." Sette said, smiling softly as Agito had to grip Lutecia's shoulder to keep herself from falling to the ground in laughter.
"I see..." Zest muttered and wiped his face clean. "And he was afraid of that?"
"One of the pies exploded when it hit his secretary, leaving her naked in the hallway." Sette shrugged and looked at Regisus. "I am glad that it wasn't him that got hit by that."
Megane shuddered at the thought. "So am I."
Ranma looked at Tre through the view screen and grinned at her as she and Cinque waited for Ginga to wander down to them. "Good luck!"
The two nodded at him as the view screen turned off.
"Do you think that they'll be okay?" Uno asked as Otto and Deed looked at him from another view screen, Wendi and Nove looked at the group from a different view screen than the other two were using.
"Oh, sure. They'll be fine. I promised Cinque I'd buy out the toy store for her." Ranma chuckled, who knew that Cinque would like those teddy bears so much? Oh well.
"What about us?" Otto blinked as Ranma grinned at them.
"You got the tanker?" Seeing them nod, he rubbed his hands together. "In ten minutes, you use that and spray Riot Force Six."
"But, won't they see us?" Deed asked, frowning softly at him.
"Don't worry, if anyone sees you, I'll warp you two back to base."
They nodded and the view-screen turned off.
"Doctor?" Nove asked as she and Wendi looked at him.
"Don't worry, I just need you two to back up the others." They seemed to pout, but nodded.
"Why didn't you send Dieci out?" Uno asked as Ranma grinned at her.
Uno and Ranma blinked and turned as they saw Quattro flying past the open door, Dieci holding a giant super soaker with a turbo pump on her back, blasting her sister away.
"I told her to annoy Quattro."
"Ah..." Uno nodded. She didn't understand why the doctor was upset with Quattro, but it was amusing to watch.
Otto looked at Deed, both nodding and hitting a few buttons on the side of the tanker, the two pinched their noses as the hoses that were connected to the tanker and pointed at Riot Force Six sprayed out raw sewage.
"You know, I think this is worse than destroying the place." Otto muttered to Deed, who nodded.
Ginga blinked at the two cyborgs she saw. She had a weird feeling as she looked at them.
Tre frowned softly. Well, whatever the doctor wanted, the doctor got. Especially since he promised to do more of that stuff that drove her crazy.
Cinque said nothing, pulled out a portable rocket launcher and fired it at Ginga, who rushed away from the shot. The three cyborgs blinked as the item inside was a green ball that hit the wall, bounced off of it, bounced to the ceiling of the area that they were in and started to picking up speed, knocking things over, including the rocket launcher out of Cinque's hands before it hit another wall and flying into Ginga's gut, sending her into a wall.
Tre and Cinque both blinked as they saw Ginga get covered in a green, sticky gelled substance.
"I don't know what that stuff is, but it worked..." Tre muttered.
"The doctor called it Flubber, and said that he modified it so that it would stick to a person and trap them against a wall for hours." Cinque said, though she recalled that the doctor also said that the stuff would gum up hair badly and that if it got into your hair, you might need to use ice and peanut butter to get it out.
"Oh..." Tre nodded as the two quickly vacated the area. They were warned to not be around in case Subaru appeared.
"I have to admit..." Cinque spoke up suddenly to Tre.
"This is a lot of fun."
The taller cyborg smirked and nodded. "Very much so."
Due was not having a good day. In her disguise as a brown-haired secretary for the floating brains, the TSAB's high council, she walked into the room, preparing to do her weekly cleaning and maintenance of the three brains. Idly, she wondered just who was idiotic enough to put three body-less heads in jars in charge.
"Ah, is it time?" The first one spoke to her as she nodded silently. "Good, don't disturb us."
"Scagiletti has betrayed us! He's totally gone against our wishes!" The second brain yelled at the other two.
"What do you expect of someone we created, huh?
"Fine, fine, we messed up with him. Issue an execution warrant or something."
"You do realize that with all the mess that he's done to Mid-Childa that there's no one that isn't going to want to try and kill him?
"Good! Maybe that will teach him and the rest of our clones of him to not go against our orders."
Due mentally groaned, wondering when she would get the order to kill these three. It was almost like the doctor didn't want her to kill them...
Either that or he wanted to give her a headache.
Vivio was not having a good day.
Well, it had began good enough, go to the park, spend some time with her mothers, relax. Even if her mothers were griping about Scagiletti changing his plans and moving the cradle, which should have been impossible without her there to power it.
Vivio thought that Scagiletti was looping, which wouldn't be a good thing for anyone. It probably wouldn't take him long to figure out a way to beat her mamas and really screw over Mid-Childa.
Those thoughts ended as she got hit by some strange spell that had actually sealed her ability to use her teenage form and Device before being grabbed by Nove at full speed while Wendi threw smoke bombs and an assortment of other smelly explosive things.
Well, if she was honest with herself, seeing Nanoha-mama covered in honey while bees chasing after her had been pretty funny.
Still, she was now convinced that Scagiletti was looping, and, honestly, it scared her.
"I can't believe it! They still got Vivio!" Nanoha raged, gripping Raising Heart tightly. She knew her daughter was tough, but if Scagiletti did something to her while Sacred Heart couldn't help her, then Nanoha didn't know what she could do.
Fate twitched and nodded to Nanoha. "Go wash up, I'll go talk to Hayate and see what if we can find Vivio." She still had Sacred Heart, so at least she would be easy to find if she activated it.
Nanoha grumbled, rubbing her arms and grumbling about bees.
"Seriously?" Vivio asked as she looked at Ranma, her eyes sparkling in mischievousness.
"Oh yes, I know that Fate and Nanoha are on their way, with the rest of Riot Force Six... And the cyborgs as good as they are, can't handle the heavy-hitters in that group." That was discounting the fact that at least three other members of that group were looping. "So... Care to help us out on our quest?"
"...I say yes and you let me have Quattro as my personal punching bag?"
Ranma nodded as Vivio giggled happily. "Deal!"
Dieci didn't say anything, she was just looking at the flying machine in the hangar. "Doctor..."
"What is this?" Dieci pointed to the ship she was next to. It looked like a ball with wings on the side.
"It's called a TIE fighter. I modified it." Ranma grinned at the other numbers who were looking at it. "Don't worry about crashing it, it's cheap to make and you girls are tough enough to survive any crash that happens."
"So... What are we going to do with this?" Cinque asked as she looked at hers. She liked hers, it had a teddy bear design on the wings.
"Simple! They're bomber variants are used to make raids on planets and cities, destroying things. My version will have you bombing the city with various things to annoy people!"
Wendi grinned. "When can we start?"
Ranma laughed. "As soon as I drop this ship out of cloak!"
Vivio looked around. "How did you get the Saint's Cradle to fly without me powering it?"
Uno shrugged and chuckled. "The doctor is amazing."
Vivio giggled, oh, they didn't know the half of it.
"Alright, my girls! It's time! Operation Annoy the TSAB and royally piss everyone off is now underway!"
"YEAH!" Everyone cheered at the same time.
Everyone but Quattro, she was in her lab, pouting as she tried to put it back together after Sette broke it again.
Otto looked at her com-screen as she and Deed flew around in their TIE-Bombers, the two nodded at each other, sped up and started dropping their payloads onto the buildings and people down below. The doctor had said as soon as the payloads were empty that they were to head right back to the cradle, lots of fun was to be had there.
She did wonder why she got yellow paint and Deed got green paint, when the two hit, it really didn't mix well.
"Oh, wait, that was the point." Deed said to Otto's unspoken question, getting a nod from her boyish twin sister. "Man, this is going to suck for them, huh?" She giggled, both of them blinking as Tre and Sette tried to out-race each other, garbage flying out of their TIE-Bombers. Which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't rotten fruits, vegetables, milk, moldy cheese, moldy bread and...
"Are those diapers?" Otto asked, turning a little green.
"I think so." Deed shuddered, she couldn't imagine how bad it was going to be to have to clean up after dirty diapers.
"WHOOSH!" Wendi chuckled, blinking as she saw some people standing in front of her. "Hey, Nove..."
"There's that midget-knight again. And her hammer looks pretty big right now!"
The shorter redhead, flying in her TIE-Bomber tapped her chin. "Well, what should we do?"
The two looked at each other through their view-screens, grinned and started firing all sorts of energy shots at Vita, who threw up her shields, blocking each one.
"Damn!" Nove grumbled as she saw Vita swing her hammer forward. "Wendi!" She yelped as she heard a slashing sound over her ship. "Abandon ship!"
"Right!" Wendi screamed, both of them hitting the big red buttons on their consoles, and getting warped out just before the TIE-Bombers exploded.
Sadly, because they were so close to each other, the cargo they were carrying merged together.
"...Boy am I glad that Shamal and Zafira aren't here to see this." Vita muttered, spitting out some feathers as she looked at herself.
Signum would have nodded, but she was too busy trying to get the black, sticky tar out of her ears, and the feathers away from her nose. "...Someone is going to pay for this."
That wasn't even the worst of it. Nope, the worst of it had to be the fact that the tar and feathers were falling onto buildings, trees, animals and people down below.
Sein laughed as she flew around, crashing into the inept mages that tried to stop her. This was so much fun. "It's like bumper cars without the cars!" She squealed happily and blasted a few of the mages. It was weird, she was the only one who wasn't given a bomber, but the doctor promised that her TIE-fighter was special somehow.
Though, seeing the male mages suddenly stop attacking and try to get into the pants of the female mages was an incredibly funny sight, if she did say so herself. "Just what was in those guns?"
"Concentrated Pheremones." The doctor spoke up on her view-screen as he grinned at her, Uno and that girl, Vivio, standing next to him, Uno on her console and Vivio, in her Kaiser form, standing around, smirking softly. "If you were out there, they'd all try to hit on you."
Sein shuddered. "No thank you. I'd prefer it if you did that."
Ranma blinked and groaned, getting a laugh from Vivio as Uno blinked in confusion. "It... Never... Fails!" He cried out and turned off the view screen, making Sein blink in confusion.
"What was that all about?" The green-haired, modestly-sized cyborg blinked as she went about blasting various groups of mages. Ah well, this was more fun anyway.
Cinque wondered why she was flying over the residential area, and why the doctor told her to go this way. "Bombs away." She said, letting her pay-load go, only for her eye to widen and tear up as she saw hundreds of teddy bears, plushy toys and beanie babies fall to the ground.
A view screen next to her opened up, showing the doctor, Uno and Vivio. "Doctor! Doctor!" Cinque whimpered. "The fluffies!"
Ranma grinned at her. "Don't worry, Cinque. Those are just the ones that you couldn't get into your room without getting buried alive. You still have the large and cuddly ones."
Suddenly Cinque's eye sparkled. "Really?"
"Yep! I left the ones that you put eye patches on alone." Ranma smiled as Cinque suddenly squealed in delight. "Besides, Cinque, not all pranks need to be mean." Ranma chuckled. "What better way to annoy the TSAB than make them try to see if the toys are laced with explosives or other nasty stuff?" Seeing Cinque's eye tear up again, he shook his head. "They won't explode on anyone."
"Yay!" Cinque smiled happily and went back to dropping the toys all over the residential area of Midchilda.
Just why wouldn't he send in the execution orders?! It wasn't that hard to do it! Just one call, just one mention and the three brains of the TSAB would be dead. Why hadn't anyone given her the order yet? Was it so wrong?
Really, it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't "brain jar cleaning" day.
No one had any idea just how insanely disgusting it was to clean the insides of the jars of brains.
Especially giant brains.
Due whimpered, wishing that order would come in.
Uno looked at Ranma. "I'm surprised Cinque likes those toys so much."
Ranma shrugged and smirked at her. "Everyone's got a secret fetish that they like..." He looked at Quattro, who was walking into the room. "Quattro, why isn't Due here yet?"
The glasses wearing Number blinked several times. "Ah... I forgot! Doctor! I was just so upset with your new plan that I forgot!"
Tsking at Quattro, Ranma shook his head and sat down on the throne, shaking his head. "Quattro, Quattro, Quattro... I gave you a simple, VERY simple order and you couldn't follow up on it? Don't you know what happens to bad little girls?" Seeing her shake her head, Ranma snapped his fingers, and Vivio was no longer there, she was grabbing Quattro, sitting on a chair that materialized out of nowhere, flipped the sadistic Number over her lap and started slapping her ass hard. "They get spanked!"
Uno sweat-dropped as Vivio spanked Quattro, over and over and over again. "Um, doctor..."
"Isn't that a little... Rough?"
Ranma shook his head. "Not at all. She deserves it. Ah! Nove, Wendi, welcome back."
Wendi blinked and looked at Quattro as Vivio spanked her over and over again, Quattro crying out in pain and humiliation. "She likes spankings?"
"I don't think those are the same kind you gave me." Nove's eyes widened as everyone, including Vivio, who suddenly stopped, and Quattro suddenly looked at her. "AH!" She blushed hard and hid behind Wendi. "Slip of the tongue! Forget I said that!"
Shrugging, Ranma smirked as he checked on various TIE-Bombers as they made their way back. "Hmm... Sette and Tre got shot down by Fate... That has to be fate." He chuckled at the double-meaning. At least they had warped back to base after getting shot down. "Deed and Otto made it back, along with Dieci..." Dieci looked a little green, maybe he shouldn't have given her the stink bombs to fire, those things were gross. "Sein and Cinque are heading back here..."
"So, what do you want us to do, doctor?" Wendi giggled as she watched Sein and Cinque both get shot down, warping back to base.
"Well... Ah, Zest, Lutecia, Megane, Agito, welcome!"
"Hello." Zest said, wondering why the Saint Kaiser was spanking Quattro, but shrugged it off. "You had a shuttle ready for us?"
"Oh yes, not like Janeway's going to miss it. But, you might want to stick around, the fun's about to begin."
"Really?" Zest asked, sweating slighlty as Ranma started to laugh sinisterly.
Ranma nodded, chuckling as the last of the Numbers, other than Due, gathered into the throne room. "Oh yes, yes... First, I'm sure that everyone, except for Vivio here, is wondering just what's going on, huh?" Seeing nods all around, Ranma stood up, a holographic image of several worlds, all identical in look appearing in the middle of the room. "Alright, let me explain. A long, long time ago, the Multiverse got a bad case of the hiccups."
"How can a universe hiccup?" Lutecia asked softly.
"Ah, just a way to explain this, that's all." Ranma smiled at her softly, getting a nod from the little girl. "The multiverse hiccuped and many, many worlds got affected by it. And by world, I mean universe. Normally these universes, even this one, are kept separate from each other. However, this hiccup did something that shouldn't be possible."
"Did it make things more fun?" Wendi asked as she and Sein grinned at the thought.
"For awhile, yes. But what happened wasn't normal. Time wasn't going forward enough."
"Huh?" Everyone blinked as Ranma nodded and pointed to the various worlds.
"Yep. This world here... this is my home universe... Time there flows for exactly 18 months, unless I die in it, and then resets back to the beginning." He pointed at another random world. "This is your universe. It goes for anywhere from 10 to 16 years, generally ending around 14 years after it starts... Which was 10 years ago."
"So we're all stuck in these loops?" Zest asked, blinking as Ranma nodded.
"Yep. But only a few people know. Myself, Vivio, Nanoha, Fate all know. But so does Subaru and Hayate, at least on this world, this time."
"And now we do..."
Ranma nodded at Cinque. "At least until the next loop, then you'll all forget." He saw the looks of sadness in all their eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry, the odds of anyone at all waking up to know what's going on is 1 million to 1. Literally."
"Doctor..." Sein spoke up, raising her hand. "How long have you been looping then?"
"Well, let's just say that I can spend a loop in this universe, as a woman, replacing Nanoha and I'd consider it a very short amount of time passed."
"So... How long until it stops hiccuping?" Uno asked as Ranma shrugged, turned off the projection and sat back down.
"No clue. Now then, Quattro, stay on the floor, Vivio, stand by my side, Uno, stay where you are. The rest of you, get in the dark corner.
"Um, dad..." Sette blinked as she walked up to him.
"Even if I won't remember this... Thank you." She said and hugged him tenderly. "I had a lot of fun."
Ranma nodded and blinked as Tre grabbed him by his work coat, pulled him up and kissed him hungerly on the lips.
"That's for all those wonderful sessions, doctor."
Ranma chuckled as he sat back down, Nove and Wendi both hugging him, before they were joined by Otto and Deed. "Uh..."
"This is the most fun we've had ever!" Wendi grinned at him.
Ranma chuckled as the four got off of him. He blinked as Cinque jumped in his lap, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. "Cinque?"
"You're the best."
Ranma looked at Vivio, who shrugged. She had never known the Numbers to act like this before. Sein grinned at him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek in thanks.
Ranma looked at Dieci, who was the last one to do anything. "Dieci?"
"Thank you, doctor, for letting us all have so much fun." She smiled softly.
Ranma nodded, blinking as Lutecia stepped in front of him. "Yes?"
"Thank you for fixing my mother."
Ranma nodded and told her to go to her mother.
He grinned as the door to the throne room suddenly exploded in, in a wash of pink and yellow. "Ladies! Welcome!" He chuckled as Nanoha, Fate, Hayate and Subaru stared at him dumbfoundedly.
"RANMA?!" The four looping members of Riot Force Six yelled in surprise as they looked at him, sitting on the throne, Vivio at his right, Uno at his left, and Quattro, face down on the ground, bald and crying.
Quattro looked up and ran towards Nanoha. "Help me! The doctor's a monster, he tortures IEEE!" She yelped as Nanoha casually backhanded her with Raising Heart, pink magical energy flowing over her body for good measure and sending her into a wall, unconscious.
"...This is going to be a hell of a story, isn't it?" Fate asked, getting a grin and nod from Ranma. Why did she have a bad feeling right now?
Nanoha was not having a good day. It wasn't a simple bad hair day, or a day where everything she did tended to explode in her face, she had plenty of loops where that happened, thank you very much, but, it was a bad day. First her daughter gets kidnapped. Okay, happened before, wasn't too unusual.
The fact that it was Nove and Wendi who kidnapped her? Not too unusual, but it didn't happen when Vivio had Sacred Heart. The fact that she got covered in honey and stung by bees? That was unusual.
The Saint's Cradle flying around even before Vivio got kidnapped? Even more unusual, which confirmed that one of the other Anchors had to be in charge of the cyborgs this time around. Which one, sadly, was still a matter that was unknown to them.
As they stormed the cradle, Nanoha was only surprised that the Numbers and combat drones hadn't taken the field yet to try and destroy the city, and that the Saint's Cradle seemed quiet content to hover just above the city, only attacking mages, OTHER than her group as they got too close.
"Hayate-san, Nanoha-san, Fate-san, what do we do?" Erio asked as the Forwards, Hayate, Reinforce Zwei, Nanoha and Fate stormed the Cradle.
Hayate pointed down the hallway. "The throne room is that way." If the ship was ascending, she would have gotten Vita to join the group inside instead of trying to stop the Numbers with Signum outside. "Erio, Caro, Teana, I want you three to stay together and make sure to take anyone out that you see."
They nodded and turned to take off down the hallway, Teana turned to Subaru, looking at her nervously. The cyborg smiled at her, getting a soft flush from Teana, as she turned her head, wondering what Subaru was smiling about.
"Why didn't you send me with them?" Subaru asked, blinking as she went with Nanoha, Fate, Hayate, and Rein towards the throne room, along the way, Rein and Hayate unisoned together, causing Hayate's hair to turn blond and her eyes blue, hoping to be able to deal with whichever Anchor was there messing up their universe.
"Because if this is someone like Aizen, we're going to need all the help we can get." Fate muttered, groaning as the hallways were covered in Type IV Gadget Drones. "These ones are annoying."
The others nodded.
It was a quick and destructive battle.
Unfortunately, it was also very messy and disgusting as the drones exploded with a variety of hidden nasties inside.
Subaru was pulling leeches off of Nanoha's back as they stopped to get the worst of the stuff off of them. "Who is in charge of this? It can't be Scagiletti. He was never this smart."
"Unless he's looping." Fate muttered with a slight scowl.
"Let's just hope that it's not Aizen in there." Hayate muttered, looping or not, that guy was one of the most dangerous beings out there for all the Anchors and loopers to deal with. One of the five most dangerous things that any anchor or looper had run into, ever.
They nodded and Nanoha and Fate blasted down the doors to the throne room. When they got there, they were expecting nearly anything. The key word being nearly.
Seeing Ranma in Jail Scagiletti's clothes, Vivio and Uno standing by his sides and a bald Quattro on the floor, well, that wasn't what they were expecting. "What is going on here?!"
Ranma chuckled and stood up. "Welcome. We all have a role to play after all."
Fate narrowed her eyes slightly. "Just what do you mean?"
"Well, it's simple. I replaced Jail Scagiletti for this loop and decided that since it was too late to just go and stop the plan, that I would just change it to something a bit more useable and fun." He shrugged unconcerned as the four glared at him. If he hadn't been looping as long as he was, he would be in serious trouble at that moment.
Uno leaned close to Vivio. "Why isn't he worried about this?"
"Well, before the universes started to merge and loop together, he had been looping in his home universe for hundreds of thousands of years." She whispered back and seeing the nod from the tall secretary, she continued. "The problem was, unlike most of the other universe out there, he had nothing to do but train himself in martial arts and learn from books and experience. There was no real enemy for him to defeat and anyone that could challenge him at first quickly fell behind too fast. And unlike the rest of the universes, his loops were so short that it didn't make sense to make a deep connection with people when they would forget in a little over a year."
"Nothing to do, no one to confide in, so he just threw himself into training and learning?" Uno asked, blinking as Vivio nodded sadly.
"Yeah... Uncle Ranma had it pretty hard. Actually, all the first seven loopers had it real hard until the others in their universe started to loop as well..."
"First... Seven?" Uno blinked a few times.
"Uncle Ranma, Harry Potter, Shinji Ikari, Naruto Uzumaki, Ichigo Kurosaki, Usagi Tsukino and Lina Inverse were the first seven that were looping." Though the circumstances around Lina's looping was weird, no one knew the exact reason why she was stuck in these infinite time loops.
The other Numbers, Zest, Lutecia, Agito and Megane blinked as they listened in on that. They didn't want to bring attention to themselves at that moment.
The group turned back to the escalating conflict between the TSAB-loopers and Ranma.
"Oh, I have one last bit of information for you four." Ranma grinned at them, causing them to gulp slightly. "Well, not for Subaru," the girl in question sighed out in relief, "as of 20 minutes ago, the TSAB high council released all control of the TSAB to the three most capable of handling the problems that are to come in the following years. The order is effective immediately and cannot be revoked for any reason."
"And they are..?" Nanoha was getting a very bad feeling about all of this.
"One Nanoha Takamachi, one Fate Testarossa-Harloawn, and one Hayate Yagami. Congrats, you three are now in charge of the TSAB, of course, that means a lot of paper-work."
"No!" Everyone blinked and looked at Nanoha, who started glowing pink. "No paperwork! I had enough of that when I replaced Tsunade in that loop that one time! NO PAPERWORK! DIVINE!"
"Summoning!" Ranma glowed and slammed his hands down.
"BUSSS...OOH CRAP!" Nanoha's, and everyone else's, except Quattro, she was still down and out, eyes widened as they saw what Ranma had summoned.
"...You know, after all this time, you'd think I would be able to summon something OTHER than Godzilla. People I can summon just fine, items, fine, but creatures? It's always Godzilla, even when I try to summon a fly!"
"GRAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" Godzilla screamed and took a step to the side, crushing Quattro under his foot.
Ranma shrugged, no big loss there. "Well, I'm leaving." He said, a blue magic circle appearing under him, the group in the corner, Vivio, Uno, Nanoha, Fate, Hayate, Subaru and the other three inside the Cradle.
"Where are we..."
"Anywhere but here." Ranma said as everyone but Godzilla disappeared in a blue flash of light.
The group rematerialized near a log cabin that was next to a river and trees. "Where are we?" Teana asked as she looked around. One moment she was on the Cradle, the next she was here.
Ranma shrugged. "Eh, random place."
"...You summoned Godzilla to Midchilda and you won't even deal with it?!" Hayate yelled at him.
Ranma chuckled and nodded. "Oh, don't worry, the longest he'll stick around before disappearing is about a month." He waved off the dumb-founded looks he was getting and took his white coat off. "Look, I could have fought him, a grand, glorious battle that would awe, inspire and terrify all of you that would eventually end up with me winning, but that would take too long and cause too much damage."
Nanoha sighed and grumbled, as long as she didn't have to do paper work of that sort of magnitude, she could deal with it.
Nove scratched her head. "So... What do we do?"
Ranma shrugged at her. "Whatever you want. I dunno how long this loop will last. So, have some fun." He smiled at them.
Ranma did feel bad, the Numbers really got screwed over by these loops, since they were bad guys that became good guys, but it took so long for them to come into the picture.
Oh well, at least one loop where they all ended up better was good.
Ranma groaned as he woke up. Genma must have hit him harder than he thought.
"I don't know about this one, dad, he's already got his own harem." He heard Akane's voice grumbling.
Ranma blinked, harem? Well, sure, Skuld was his girlfriend and he slept with Lina often enough and Urd, Nanoha and Fate were his three best female friends but he didn't think that was enough for a harem. Since when is there someone taller than Genma around here? And why the heck am I male this time? He thought in wonder as he looked at the shadows on the ground, elbowed Genma, stood up and turned around.
In the yard trying to get inside as the rain started up were people he never thought he'd see. "Uno, Tre, Cinque, Sein, Sette, Otto, Nove, Wendi, Dieci, Deed?"
"You missed two and four." Nabiki spoke up, getting a look from everyone. She shrugged. "He counted to twelve in Italian, he missed Due and Quattro."
"They aren't here." Cinque said as she slipped by Ranma.
Ranma shook his head. Well, this was going to be an interesting loop, that was for sure.
Which was made more interesting as Tre picked him up and kissed him for all he was worth. He made a mental note to do that treatment to her more often if it made her so relaxed like this.