Author's Note: My first filk - and you know, I really don't much care for this song, but it works. I stuck to the general format because I was lazy, so it's still rather sad. *sniffle* ;_;

_Lina Inverse_
(a filk to the traditional ballad "Annachie Gordon" as it appears on the Loreena McKennitt CD 'Parallel Dreams')

Zephilia is bonny and there lived my love
Until she started travelling alone on the road
Alone on the road, first with Naga, then with me
And I'll never leave the side of my own Lina sweet
For Lina Inverse might be skinny but she's bright
Though her breast may not be ample, still she's fair to behold
She's fair to behold, and adept at sorcery
And I'll never leave the side of my own Lina sweet.

Down came his father, looking for his Sword
Saying "Gourry, that girl - she's as flat as a board!
You care nothing for a woman who cares so much for thee
You must marry Sylphiel and leave Lina be
For Lina Inverse is a flat-chested sorcerous maid
And so full of fury even dragons are afraid!
But Sylphiel has a figure and her 'assets' they are high
You must marry Sylphiel and tell Lina goodbye."

"With Lina Inverse I clobber bandits for my bread
And before I marry Sylphiel, before to to her I'm wed
Though she might be gentle, and sit upon my knee
And I'll die if I don't get my love Lina sweet
And you who are my parents to the church you may me bring
But unto Sylphiel I'll never give a son
If I even looked her way, Lina would castrate me
And I'll die if I don't get my love Lina sweet."

Gourry was married and from church was brought home
When he and Zelgadis so happy should have been
When he and Zelgadis so happy should have been
He goes into his chamber and sharpens his sword.

"Come to bed Gourry-dear, my Swordsman of Light
I'd love to have you here to keep me warm through the night"
"Be it Swordsman or Gourry it's all the same to me
But whoever keeps your bed warm, it will not be me"
And down came his father, he's spoken with renown
Saying "Son if you were a real man you'd be loosening up her gown!"
And he fell upon his sword
And straight down down to his knee
Saying "If Lina knew I got married she'd do worse to me!"

The day Gourry married was the day Gourry died
And the day that young Lina came home on the tide
And down came Zelgadis, as usual he was grim
Saying "Where the hell were you, Lina?! I thought you loved him!
Where the hell were you, letting power go to your head
They have married your Gourry and now he lies dead."

"Come with me Zelgadis, I've got a Dragon Slave
For the idiot that sent my only love to the grave"
And she kissed his cold lips 'til her heart had turned to stone
For it was Gourry who did it, leaving her all alone.