The Best Feeling
She was dancing with him again. That insufferable Mike, with his hands all over her, while she sways, intoxicated by the amount of alcohol she had consumed, and grinds against him.
I turn away, not wanting to watch anymore. I had seen it so many times before, the years of it making my stomach turn at the sight. I just had to bare it.
She makes her way over to me now, stumbling and tripping over the air. Not that the alcohol in her bloodstream had anything to do with that. She had always been extremely clumsy, dropping things that were already clutched tightly in her delicate hands and tripping over on a linoleum floor. Which I had always found extremely endearing. Luckily, I was always there to catch her. I couldn't bare it if anything happened that hurt her.
"Edward." Bella slurred, clutching the sleeve of my shirt to keep herself upright. Her footing slipped from underneath her, and I quickly placed both hands on her waist to keep her face from meeting the floor.
"Yes, Bella?" I quickly checked her over to make sure that she hadn't hurt herself earlier when I had gone into the kitchen of whoever's house this was to get a drink. For the rest of the night though, I had been watching her. She was drunk and I certainly didn't trust Mike with her.
"Can we get out of here? I feel sick." Bella's face started to pale, so I quickly nodded and tucked her under my arm. I noticed Mike glaring at me as we headed to the door. I glared at him as we passed, keeping our eyes locked even after I was feet in front of him. He broke the gaze first, and I smiled triumphantly. This was about more than our hate for each other. He wanted Bella. I wasn't going to let him have her. Even if I had no claim myself.
We exited the house and I noticed how cold it was outside. While shrugging out of my jacket, I managed to keep Bella upright. I carefully draped my jacket over her shoulders in an attempt to keep her warm. It was only a few blocks to her house, but seeing as though we had to walk, and considering that she was wearing a sleeveless dress, Bella would likely be freezing by the time we got back to hers. I didn't want her catching a cold. She glanced up and smiled at my effort. I grinned back.
A few minutes later, and we were inside Bella's house. Charlie wasn't in, but that wasn't unusual. He was never in, preferring to work all the time.
Charlie was the police chief of Forks, and his whole life revolved around his job. He spent so much time there, he was rarely ever home. Charlie even slept in his office sometimes. And if he wasn't working or sleeping, he was out fishing with his friends. I wouldn't say Charlie was neglectful, but… Yeah, I guess he was neglectful. I hated him because of that, but also appreciated it, because it meant that I could spend more time with Bella. I even slept here most nights.
As we made our way further into the house, Bella suddenly took off towards the bathroom. I ran after her, knowing what this meant. By the time I'd got in there, she was bent over the toilet, vomiting. I knelt behind her and moved her hair away from her face, while she continued throwing up and sobbing.
"Shh, Bella, it's okay," I whispered quietly, running my fingers through her silky brown hair. I kept stroking her hair and humming to her until she finally sat up away from the toilet.
I reached for the mouthwash, knowing that she would want to rinse her mouth out before she talked to me. She thanked me with a smile and quickly rinsed out her mouth, me making her spit it into the toilet because I wasn't sure how weak she was feeling and didn't want her collapsing.
Setting the mouthwash back down on the sink, I lifted her into my arms and carried her bridal style into the bedroom, while she clung to my shirt.
"Thank you, Edward," she croaked. I smiled down at her tentatively, showing her that I didn't mind. Which really, I didn't. If I didn't do it, she would be laying in the garden unconscious. And I didn't want to think about someone else holding her hair back while she pukes or someone else tucking her in.
I laid her gently on her bed and pulled the covers over her. I didn't think I would be able to bare taking off her dress.
"Eddie," I heard Bella whisper with her eyes closed.
"Yes, Bella?" I whispered back, stroking her face. I didn't want to raise my voice any louder in case she had a headache.
"This dress is really tight." Oh believe me Bella, I know. "D'you think you could help me get it off? I don't think I'll be able to sleep in it."
"Bella, I don't know…" It wasn't that I hadn't seen her in her underwear once or twice before, it was just my reaction to it that I didn't want to happen tonight.
"Please, Ed, it's really uncomfortable." I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath.
"Okay," I breathed out. I knew she wouldn't be able to help me, seeing as though she was on the edge of consciousness. She had her eyes closed and I figured that she was about to go to sleep. I lifted the covers off of her and stood next to the bed. I lifted both of her arms up and left them up against the pillow. Then, I hooked my finger underneath her dress, and as gently as I could, while Bella helped a little by arching her back, I slid it upwards off her body. I kept my eyes away from her body as I hung her dress up, and slowly turned to her.
I should've put the cover over her before looking.
My pants tightened as I gazed at her almost naked body. She had a tiny purple thong on with a matching push up bra, showing all her curves and cleavage.
My eyes closed as I let out an involuntary groan.
"Edward, what's wrong? And why are you biting your lip? Are you hurt?" Bella asked quietly. My eyes snapped open and I thanked God that the light was off, so she wouldn't notice the bulge in my pants.
"I'm fine, don't worry about it," I told her, pulling the covers back down on her again. This was exactly why I didn't want to undress her. My body always reacted to her.
I tucked her into bed and lightly kissed her temple. As I pulled away, I noticed a few stray hairs on her face, and gently swept them behind her ear before backing out of the room. I'd usually crawl into bed beside her, but I needed time to think. When the door was shut. I put my back to it and slid down it until I was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the door, with my knees pulled up under my chin.
I thought of the day I had first met her.
I was fourteen years old. I had lived in Forks all my life with my parents Carlisle and Esme, my older brother Emmett and my younger sister Alice. I was a top student, much like my siblings, since we all achieved high grades and were well behaved. Unlike my siblings though, I wasn't exactly popular. I had enough friends, I just wasn't very sociable. I didn't find the need to be.
Until Bella arrived.
I had heard of Chief Charlie Swan's daughter arriving in town that week, and Jasper had told me that she was in my grade. The news was all around town, seeing as though Forks was tiny, and this was probably the most exciting thing that had happened in years.
It was her first day at school, and by lunch I still hadn't seen her. I ate with Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie, Alice and her boyfriend Jasper. And although we were all pretty good friends, I constantly felt like the fifth wheel, with them each pairing off and going into their own little private conversation. It didn't really help that they were all constantly making out.
I went to Biology, disappointed that I hadn't seen her. As I sat down in my seat, the door opened, and I gasped at what it revealed.
A girl with shiny brown locks down to her waist, and deep chocolate eyes, was heading my way. A soft blush coloured her cheeks. She was beautiful. My teenage hormones were going crazy.
She sat down next to me, it being the only open seat in the class, and immediately turned to me, smiling widely.
"Hey, I'm Bella! And you don't have to stare," she told me, winking.
I couldn't help but blush, but appreciating her confidence on the first day at a new school at the same time. I found myself grinning back at her. "I'm Edward," I told her, still slightly embarrassed.
We continued to grin at each other until the teacher subtly coughed at us.
It was four years later, and Bella and I had been best friends since.
Bella and I spent most Biology lessons talking and fooling around, and within weeks of her arrival, I felt as if she was my closest friend, the only person that really knew me.
And I loved her.
I sighed, standing up from my position on the floor. Opening Bella's bedroom door, I entered and shut it quietly behind me. Walking slowly over to Bella, I noticed that she was asleep, her arm thrown over her eyes. I climbed silently into bed beside her, wrapped my arm around her waist, pulled her back against me, and fell into a deep sleep.
We graduated from high school weeks later, and after a long summer break, Bella and I headed off to College.
I was ecstatic that the rooms were co-ed, which meant that Bella and I could share a room together.
We have been at college for two years, and those were probably the best two years of my entire life. As soon as we had entered our room and dropped our various suitcases on the floor, Bella had turned to me and said:
"Edward, starting from now, I am not going to go to a single party for an entire year."
I know my face had broken out into an entire grin by the way she giggled at me, but I couldn't help it. She knew how much I hated going to those stupid parties, and I didn't like to drink that much, and dancing always felt like more of a chore. And those goddamn lyrics of all those songs really pissed me off. So when she told me no more partying for a year, I was so very happy.
For that first year, any spare time we had between and after classes, we spent together. I'd take her out to lunch, she'd drag me to the library, and we'd spend hours in our room, just hanging out and watching movies. We were inseparable.
After that first year of no partying, it seemed to have changed Bella a little. Within the entire year after, we only went to about twelve more parties, and these ones were relatively tame, as was Bella. She'd only have a few drinks, dance for only a short while, before returning to where I usually was - huddled in a corner with a nearly-full drink in my hand. I'd end up being dragged into the crowd of grinding, sweating students. Of course, with music like this, the only thing you could do was grind, and that's exactly what Bella was doing to me. She would be grinding hard against me, and once again, I couldn't control my hormones against the feeling. Bella would always laugh it off though.
Those two years were amazing.
But then, Bella took us to another party. It was the last day of college before Christmas vacation, and Bella and I were staying at the college for a week before we went our separate ways for a few weeks. She was returning to Phoenix to visit her mom, Renee, and her step dad, Phil, while I was going back to my parents in Forks. I was going to miss her so much in those few weeks, so we had decided to spend a week together before we both left.
Anyway, we went to the party, which was being held by one of our acquaintances, Jacob Black, in his dorm room while his roommate Leah was away. We arrived, dodging through the masses of people gyrating near the door, and those passed out in the hallway. Bella immediately disappeared, and a random drunk blonde toppled headfirst on me. Quickly moving her away, I stepped further into the room, when Bella appeared at my side, holding two drinks, and handed one to me. We made polite conversation with friends and acquaintances from our classes, before we heard some loud drum and bass song play. Bella slipped her hand into mine and I followed after her as she led us to where the stereo was, along with people dancing.
Bella stood in front of me and began swaying her hips slowly. I placed both hands on her hips, and swayed slightly along with her. The bass got louder and the drums faster, and Bella picked up the speed. Within seconds, she was rubbing her ass against my crotch. I was hard almost instantly, and completely embarrassed. I tried to pull away, blushing from my body's reaction, but Bella just turned around and pulled me tighter, grinding hard and fast, even doing something I think they call a booty drop, and the image of her head so close to my crotch made me painfully hard. By the end of that first dance, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom.
Luckily, it was unoccupied, and I quickly locked the door behind me. I pulled my jeans down and stood in front of the toilet. I couldn't believe I was going to do this at someone else's place. Pulling my boxers down, I released my erection from its painful confinement. I placed one hand on the wall behind the toilet, using it to keep myself up. My other hand travelled to my cock, where I began to stroke lightly, and gasped out loud at the amount of pleasure it brought me. I doubt I'd ever been this aroused before.
I curled my fingers around my penis as thoughts of Bella invaded my mind. The time we'd gone out for ice-cream on a hot day, and the ice-cream had melted, slowly dripping down onto her fingers. She'd soon noticed this and slid two of her fingers in her mouth and sucked and licked them clean. I could even remember the sounds she made.
I started stroking faster as I recalled the moment where we were in our room, and Bella, being clumsy as she is, dropped the drink she was passing to me into my lap. I made a move to get up so that I could clean it, but Bella was already there with a cloth in her hand. She rubbed at my crotch furiously. I moaned at the memory.
I remembered her hand on me and imagined what it would feel like without my pants on and released into the toilet, panting and groaning at the force of it.
Once I was fully dressed and the colour from my cheeks had died down, I made my way back into the lounge.
Déjà vu. Bella was grinding up against that guy Jacob.
I could feel myself snarling and glaring at him before my brain even registered it. Jacob smirked smugly at me from over Bella's head, and I snapped.
Making my way through the crowds of people, I grabbed Bella by the arm and attempted to lead her out of the building. What I didn't realise was that Bella was completely drunk, more so than she had been since we'd been in college. I gave up trying to wait for her feet to cooperate and instead lifted her into my arms and carried her all the way to our dorm room.
I set her down onto our sofa and disappeared into the kitchen to pick up a glass of water and a piece of bread to help sober her up. I set them both down on the coffee table in front of the sofa and sat down next to Bella. She immediately crawled over to me and clutched at my arm. I always loved drunk Bella, mostly because she was very affectionate to me during the time she is intoxicated, and I could always pretend that we weren't best friends - that instead, we were dating.
But Bella didn't stop next to me. She crawled into my lap. And I thought little Eddie was satiated.
"Bella? What are you doing?" My voice shook.
"Shh." She told me, placing her finger over me lips. I closed my eyes at the contact. And then that finger was gone, and I opened my eyes.
Bella's face was only inches from mine, and her own eyes were closing.
Her lips touched mine. And it was the most amazing feeling I'd ever had in my entire life. My eyes closed involuntary and my hands fisted into her hair. I pulled her closer, pressing my lips harder into hers. Our lips moved furiously against one another's, but I wanted more. I opened my mouth and slowly licked her lip, trying to convey my message. Bella's mouth opened slightly, and I took the opportunity to slide my tongue into her mouth, and groaned at the taste of her that I had imagined for so long now. We parted from each others mouths just as we were running out of air, and I leaned my forehead against hers.
"Oh God Bella." I choked out, running my fingers through her hair again. "I've wanted this for so long." I leaned towards her to kiss her again, but her own eyes snapped open.
"What?" She whispered. My eyes widened. Maybe this wasn't as significant to her then it was to me?
I sighed. I had to explain what I meant. I had to tell her. It was now or never.
"Bella…" I said quietly, stroking her cheek with the back of my hand. "I love you. For so many years, I've wished that you were mine.
She backed out of my lap.
"Edward… I-I love you too…" My heart started to swell and I could feel the huge grin slowly making it way onto my face. "…as a friend."
And then my heart broke.
"What…?" I managed to choke out.
"I'm sorry. So sorry. I love you, Edward, but… not in that way. I don't love anyone in that way. You're my best friend, the only person I've ever let into my life fully, the only person I trust. You're the most important person to me, and I love you. As my best friend."
A big awkward silence.
"Edward, really. I'm so sorry-"
"It's fine, Bella." I realised that the tone I'd used was unfriendly, detached even. I noticed that she cringed back a little because of it, and I instantly felt guilty, but made no move to comfort her.
Instead, I turned my back on her and disappeared into my bedroom.
The next day, Jacob picked her up in the afternoon. My heart just broke that little bit more.
The following week was terrible. Bella and I hardly spoke. Everything we did was awkward, rehearsed and uncomfortable.
I had lost her.
I had constantly cursed myself, regretting telling her every minute of my life. Not only had I lost the chance of being with her like that, but I'd lost her as my best friend. We were nothing anymore.
- - - -
I didn't return after Christmas vacation.
- - - -
A year and a half later, I was returning home. After what happened with Bella, I had gone home to Carlisle and Esme for the Christmas holidays as I was supposed to, but made my plans to switch to another college near home. But I'd soon given up on that, realising that she'd be returning to Forks to see Charlie, and there was a great chance I would run into her.
So, I'd moved to Europe. Crazy, right? Well, London, England, more specifically. It was fine. Everything was quite normal. I'd put my head down and worked, and now, graduating with amazing grades from college, I was on my way back home to see my parents, whom I hadn't seen for so long. I'd really missed them.
Shutting the car door, I looked up at somewhere I once called home. My parents place. Of course, Carlisle and Esme were standing outside, waiting for me eagerly. I could swear my mother had tears running down her face.
She came running to me, wrapping her arms around me in a vice grip.
"Edward," my mother sobbed, "I've missed you so much!"
I looked away, guilty and ashamed. "I've missed you too, mom." I saw her smile through her tears, and it made my heart ache. Why had I been so selfish, leaving for all that time? Well, it didn't matter. I was back now.
A hand clapped my shoulder, and I turned round to see my father smiling down at me.
"Good to have you back, son." I smirked back at him.
"Well, lets not strand around out here, lets go inside and talk!" My mother exclaimed, sneaking a look at my dad, which he returned. They led me into the lounge, before both making an excuse that they had to look after the food cooking in the kitchen and to just make myself at home.
I turned into the living room-
And then froze.
Sitting in the armchair opposite me, was Bella.
God, she looked so good. I noticed the subtle changes in her face, like how her cheeks hr a little less rounded and her cheekbones slightly more pronounced. Her hair seemed to have gone a shade darker, making it look even more silky and beautiful. A few extra freckles scattered across her nose.
It made my heart ache. She was so beautiful.
"Bella…" I choked.
"Edward…" she whispered back, and her voice stunned me. It sounded so sad. She shouldn't be sad.
Instead of talking anymore, I took the few steps and pulled her into my chest, burying my face into her hair. I heard her muffled sobs against my chest, while I fought against my own tears that were pricking my eyes.
"I've missed you," I whispered into her hair.
"God, I've missed you too," she sobbed back.
We just stood there, wrapped around each other. Just enjoying the moment. But I knew it would end.
"Edward… why did you leave me? Why did you never come back?" Bella asked, her eyes sad and swimming with tears. I couldn't help it. I reached my hand up and wiped away the few that had escaped her eyes with my thumb, relishing in the feel of her soft skin.
"I couldn't stay," I whispered gently. "It would have been too painful. I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you." It was the truth.
"But Edward, you don't understand. I've missed you so, so much. I have to tell you something…"
"You can tell me. You can tell my anything." I urged her gently, running my fingers through her mahogany locks.
She nodded solemnly, looking at the floor. "I missed you so much, because… when you left, I realised something. I didn't realise it until you left. And then I was too late to do anything. You were in another country, I had no way to contact you…" Her gorgeous brown eyes locked with mine, and the emotion there made me suck in a breath.
"I didn't realise that… I love you."
God, you couldn't possibly know how amazing it felt, hearing the three little words I craved more than anything in my entire existence. Hope swelled within me. But I couldn't be sure yet.
"Bella… when you say you love me, do you mean…" I asked slowly, not sure if I could bare one of the possibilities.
"I mean that I love you. That I'm in love with you. Edward, the past year and a half has hurt so much. My chest aches. I need to know."
I knew what she was asking.
"I still love you Bella. I will always love you." And with that, I bent my face down to meet hers, capturing her lips with mine. I knew then, that we were meant to be. That she would always be mine, as I had always been hers. We would have our forever.
And it was the best feeling ever.
- - - -
I actually liked this.
I might write one shots more often. They're a lot easier, since I have a short attention span and think of new ideas all the time.
And at the moment, I'm working on about six different stories, which I'm struggling with. But ah well, I'll just write little one shots if I get distracted with new ideas ;)
- Ro x