Arriving on the scene is like mayhem. On one side of the lawn, our UnSub is lying with a gunshot wound to his chest. Paramedics are already at work on him, but he's screaming for them not to touch him. I can't help but wonder if that's because of his son. Would I want to be saved? I can't say I wouldn't be the same.
On the other side of the lawn is Spence, and I can't help but feel a hot wave of anger - nobody is with him. He is holding onto his own wound. While I was comfortable at Jeremy's school, Spence handled a mad man alone. It's Morgan and I that rush to his side first. The same guilt I'm feeling is reflected in Morgan's eyes.
"I'm alright." He's saying, but I can see the pain in his eyes. The urge is for me to kneel down next to him and offer comfort - rub his shoulder and say some words to take away his pain. Words - those are my specialty. I was off talking to people while Spence was in pain. They're just sounds - words, that is - what real use are they? If words are all that I'm good at, what use am I to this team? Words couldn't stop what had just happened here. If I can merely speak, while others are putting themselves in danger ...?
"What can I do, Spence?" I can barely look at his eyes - they're full of pain and relief - but there's also fear there. And guilt. Why should he look guilty? He grimaces as he begins to speak, but I can barely here his words - because they're not about him and they're the last thing in the world that I want to hear. My mind is numb, but I suddenly understand one thing - he knew and didn't speak until now. They just wanted us focused on the case.
"Somethings happened to Hotch."
Infalliable. That's a word -just a word and nothing more. Because if there's anything I've learned today, it's that nobody's invincible. Not Reid - and not even Hotch. Evil not only visited, but it hit home. We - those who fight it - aren't invincible to it.
"I'm going to be fine, JJ." He repeats again, eyes locked on mine. "Just crutches for awhile."
My voice is tight from trying not to cry. Don't cry, don't show them you're hurting, too. "No kicking down doors for awhile, Spence." I'm sitting on the plastic hospital chair. Both of them - Reid and Hotch - wanted to go visit the other one. That made me smile - no matter how injured, this little family we've created is sticking together for good. Maybe that's the true meaning of infallibility - family.
"That's Morgan's job, anyway." He flashes a smile, but it's pained. It makes me wonder if he's refused narcotics. "Go tell them I'm fine."
I ruffle his hair before standing, and he grins at me - the first smile I've seen all day.
I'm puzzled. "For what?"
"For sitting and talking. For distracting me."
My heart constricts.
Family. The true meaning of infallibility.
Falc's oneshot fridays was to write from somebody's emotional standpoint. I chose JJ's - her job's got to be one of the toughest. This one is to the CM board family - you guys are awesome.