A/N: Disclaimer: Me no own. And I don't have a year's supply of free marmalade, either :P

Yes, it could be better, but I really can't be arsed because I should be in bed, but I couldn't resist when this little gem sprang out of nowhere!


"Rose! Rose!" the Doctor yelled as he bounded into her bedroom, waving around a piece of paper. "I won! I won! Rose! Wake up! I won!"

Rose groaned and opened her eyes, lookily sleepily up at the grinning face looking down at her from above. "Wha…?" she asked, her voice a murmur.

"I won! I won! I won!" He got onto her bed, bouncing up and down as he yelled the words, "I won! I won! I won!"

Rose was being sent all over the place as she struggled to sit up with a bouncy Doctor on her bed. "Doctor!" she yelled, grabbing his leg in mid-bounce to stop him. "You won what?"

"A year's free supply of marmalade!" he said excitedly, still beaming from ear-to-ear. Rose groaned and fell back down, pulling a pillow over her head. "I'm gonna go pick it up now! Don't you wanna come?"

"Get lost," she said loudly, closing her eyes again.

"Right-o!" the Doctor jumped off of her bed and onto the floor, running back out of her bedroom door in a blur of speed.

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Week One

"Rose! Rose! Isn't this great?" the Doctor was saying as he consumed his seventh piece of marmalade on toast within five minutes. "I've already cleared seven crates! Just forty-three crates to go!"

Rose sighed, and helped herself to some Frosties.

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Week Two

"Rose! Rose! Don't you want some?" the Doctor enquired, thrusting out a full jar to her with marmalade smeared all around his face. "Take it! It's yours! To show how much of a brilliant companion you are!"

Rose shook her head. "Nah thanks, I'm full."

"Suit yourself!" he replied, shovelling another finger full of marmalade into his mouth. "Just thirty-five crates to go!"

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Week Three

"You really don't want some?" the Doctor asked with a sad expression as she refused another jar of proposed marmalade. "Don't you like marmalade?"

"Doctor I love marmalade, but it's tea time and I can't have a jar of marmalade for it!"

He shrugged, nonchalant as he focused on getting out the dregs of marmalade from the jar. "I can. Twenty-six crates to go!"

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Week Four

"Please Doctor, you've eaten nothing but marmalade for four weeks! You're gonna make yourself ill!" Rose protested as she found him in the TARDIS kitchen at 4am in the morning, spooning marmalade into his mouth.

"Marmalade is good," he protested, though he was beginning to look a little green… "Just nineteen crates to go…" he said, not nearly sounding as enthused as before.

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Week Five

"Doctor, please? This is insane!" Rose said as she found him with yet another half-empty jar, wrenching away the marmalade the Doctor had held in his hands. She jumped when the Doctor's face suddenly dropped, staring at her in anger and disbelief.

"Don't take my marmalade!!!" he yelled, wrenching it roughly back from her and shieleding it from her, stroking it like it was his pet dog. "My precioooous…"

With wide eyes Rose slowly backed away, and out the door. There were still thirteen crates to go…

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Week Six

Rose was nearing the end of her tether. The Doctor had locked himself in the room he kept the marmalade in and was now screaming insults at her whenever she tried to knock on the door and reason with him. The marmalade had driven him to insanity… She had no idea how many crates were left now, but she hoped to god it was less than ten.

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Week Seven

The door of the marmalade room unlocked. Rose rushed in to find the Doctor sprawled on the floor in amongst seemingly thousands of empty marmalade jars, every single crate upturned to signify that it was the end of the madness.

The Doctor raised his head weakly to look up at her, blinking a few times. "I don't feel so good."

Rose moved towards him, helping him onto his feet. He sagged in her grip as relief flooded through Rose, at the prospect that there was no more marmalade left. Things were going to return to normal.

"See? I told you it'd make you ill," she said gently as she laid him down on a bed in the infirmary, handing him a kidney bowl to throw up in if need be.

"I'm filing a complaint," the Doctor murmured.

"So am I…" Rose replied with a heavy sigh as she fluffed his pillows for him.

"A year's supply?! It only lasted seven weeks!"