Title: Dog of the Military
Author: Calenlass Greenleaf
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA: Brotherhood.
Spoilers: Spoilers for the FMA: Brotherhood, Episode 17. I always go by fansubs, by the way, because I prefer them to the dubbings.
Warnings: Angst, violence, mild swearing. No pairings in this story.
Summary: 'He knows some people thought being in the army was cool. They thought you could run around with weapons. They dreamed about being heroes.' Edward Elric monologue. Oneshot.
Dog of the Military
He knows some people thought being in the army was cool. They thought you could run around with weapons. They dreamed about being heroes.
What a bunch of lies.
Cool? They didn't know it meant spitting on morals.
Weapons? They didn't realize meant being a dog.
Heroes? They didn't see that behind the glory, heinous things were committed.
Edward had been so angry he was ready to hit him, that arrogant excuse for a Colonel.
There's wasn't any reason. Mustang's excuse didn't satisfy him at all.
Do not object to orders. Do not seek explanation. Simply obey. That's what it means to be a soldier!
Damn it, he didn't sign up to be a soldier. He was just a State Alchemist.
Do not object to orders.
He's never been good at following orders, especially when they were given to him by people he couldn't stand.
Do not seek explanation.
For him, there's an explanation for everything. There's an answer to everything. He just needs to find it, and no one stands in his way.
He's not a robot. End of story.
That's what it means to be a soldier!
Soldier? Yeah, he likes fighting, but not killing. He looks at his right hand, knowing that in mere seconds he can transmute it into a blade. But he has yet to kill anyone with it. If being a soldier means gutting people, he was would chop of his other arm than do that.
Really, Mustang's excuse was no good at all.
But what else can he ask for from him? Mustang was just telling him the truth.
Was the truth always going to be this ugly?
The truth about life and death…about human transmutation…the military.
Sometimes he wonders if he isn't better off living a different life.
But he can't.
He has a goal to accomplish.
That was why he signed up to do this.
That's why he got automail surgery.
It was for his brother and himself.
It's why he's now living a life he despises.
Sometimes, he wishes he were an adult. Familiar with everything. Sterner. Not so emotional. But no, he just had to have a stupid conscience that was shouting to him that what Mustang did was wrong.
It hurts, seeing Maria Ross's body there. It brings back memories of that body in his father's study, so many years ago. He didn't believe, not for a single moment, that she was responsible for Hughes' death. How could it be her?
He remembers walking the Colonel casually walking away, talking about a vacation and pretty girls, like he had just completed an easy task.
Maybe dogs were supposed to be obedient, but weren't they sometimes supposed to overstep themselves when their owners made bad decisions?
It's times like these when he looks at himself and the life he's living. It's these days when he wonders if he's doing everything wrong.
The Führer says he can't trust anyone. Maria told him he could trust adults.
And who he was he supposed to listen to?
All he wants to do is get his and Al's bodies back, but the more he pushes for that, the more he gets involved in other people's problems—
Like the problems of the military.
He doesn't show it, but it scares him. He doesn't want to become a killing machine. He doesn't want any more faces to haunt dreams. He doesn't want other people's blood on his hands. Duties were duties, yes, but he can't stand the feeling of people dying because of him. It's already happened, and he doesn't want it to happen again.
From that day he tried to transmute his mother, everything seemed to be spiraling downward. There were some ups, some bright spots, but he can't shake the feeling that things are just getting worse.
But that was the truth, wasn't it? To get something, you needed to get your hands dirty. You needed to play the magnificent prince in the daytime and murder people in the nighttime.
Needed? Hah, he knows that's not a necessity. It's just a shortcut that people take, and they gradually grow accustomed to bloodshed and all that stuff that makes him sick.
He won't do that. Al won't do that. He doesn't want to die feeling like he's a murderer.
One day, that "truth" guy would be going down when he can piece everything together. It'll take him a little longer though, because he's not going to murder people to accomplish his goal.
He's not going to fight a battle just because someone tells him to.
He's not going to transmute just because he's forced to.
He's not going to obey unconditionally, without question.
He's not going to be a soldier.
Edward Elric will play the part of the obedient dog of the military, for sure. But he'll draw the line whenever he wishes it, because he's not one to wag his tail when you snap his fingers. Rather, he's more of a puppy who likes play truant and grin at you in the most infuriating way as possible.
A/N: Sheesh, the tone of this fic is so bitter that it depresses me. But after seeing episode 17, I was prompted to write this. However, I never got around to posting it until now.