Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Note: I was originally going to have them all be in their own little universes, but then I thought it might be kind of fun to have them overlap. After three people have made big changes, that last person's going to be so confused when it's their turn…
When Naruto heard about the chance to change the past, his first thought was 'well, my childhood sucked so I might as well skip on to my genin days.' He realized something, though: while Sakura's fangirlness was annoying (especially as he was no longer blindly infatuated with her and liked her as a person now), it was nothing compared to Sasuke moping about revenge all the time. What's more, having to waste four years of his life tracking Sasuke down was kind of a drag and he didn't want to go through that again. And what on Earth had the boy been THINKING to go after Orochimaru or all people? For God's sake, the snake sannin was even more of a pervert than Jiraiya as far as Naruto was concerned. Granted, he didn't go around spying on hot springs – not that Naruto knew of, at any rate – or declaring himself a super pervert, but then again at least Jiraiya didn't regularly go around giving hickeys to prepubescent girls and boys before convincing them to go live with him.
So instead of starting at twelve, Naruto elected to start at eight. Surely he could put up with a measly four years of continuing to be alone? Well, not completely alone if he played his cards right with Sasuke. The massacre was going to happen. If the ridiculously diplomatic Third Hokage hadn't been able to stop it, an eight-year-old outcast like himself sure as hell wouldn't.
So, what to do, what to do…by himself, not much. He could always follow Sasuke around until the other boy accepted that they were friends, in which case he might not be so bitter growing up and be less inclined to try and kill him later and abandon Konoha. Last time, Sasuke hadn't accepted it until he decided that if Naruto was going to try and stop him then he might as well get a Mangekyou Sharingan out of the deal.
Naruto wandered around town as he pondered and eventually ended up at Ichiraku Ramen Bar. He grinned, pleased to see his favorite restaurant before Ayame had gone crazy and turned it into a Tsukemen bar. Granted, he could easily turn it BACK into ramen, but it was rather, dare he say it, troublesome and Ayame always yelled at him every time he did that.
Entering the eating establishment, Naruto glanced around idly when he froze. "Oh my God…is Kakashi actually on a date? With Anko? And…hey, you two look familiar. Aren't you dead?" he blurted out. Oops. So much for subtle.
"What do you mean 'with Anko'?" Anko demanded suspiciously. "Who else would he be out with? Because I swear to god, Hatake, if you're cheating on me, I will emasculate you with a toothpick."
Kakashi gulped. "I would never do such a thing! I already have the most amazing girlfriend around right here."
"That's better," Anko said, sounding satisfied.
"Well, second most amazing, really," a man who looked vaguely like Sasuke said. And Naruto was pretty sure he'd seen him somewhere before, but not personally. REALLY sure he was supposed to be dead…oh, well, it was possible he died sometime in the next four years or so. "After all, she's not Rin."
Eye twitching, Anko reached for a kunai.
"Don't mind him," the brown-haired woman – Rin? – interceded smoothly. "He's clearly biased."
"Now, that that's settled, there's something I need to talk to Naruto about. I shouldn't be long," Kakashi promised as he stood and practically dragged Naruto over to an empty corner of the room. "Well? What have you got to say for yourself?"
"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, only half-feigning ignorance.
"You seemed surprised to see me with Anko when you should know we've been dating for a little over six months now and when you saw Rin and Obito, you said they were supposed to be dead," Kakashi pointed out, eyes deadly serious.
Naruto's eyes widened in realization. "Your eyes…"
"My eyes?" Kakashi repeated neutrally.
"You don't have a Sharingan," Naruto breathed, trying to get over how weird it looked to see his ex-teacher without a hitai-ite covering his eye or even a Sharingan eye.
Kakashi just blinked at him, looking stunned. "…Naruto?" he asked hesitantly.
"I thought we'd already established that you knew who I was," Naruto told him, wondering if he would have to somehow prove his identity. Well, that would be easy enough as Kakashi already knew about the Kyuubi, but HE wasn't exactly supposed to know yet…
"No, I mean," Kakashi shook his head, trying to sort his words out. "You came back, too? I expected different timelines."
Realizing that his teacher was being vague enough so that he, at eight, wouldn't realize what Kakashi was talking about unless he knew exactly what Kakashi was talking about, Naruto managed a small smile. "Me too. I guess because we all did it together the two of us ended up in the same spot. Did Sasuke and Sakura come back yet?"
Kakashi shook his head. "Not that I'm aware of and, believe me, I've kept my eye on you three. Sakura probably won't come back until she at least makes genin because the worst thing that happened to her before then was 'picked on for insecurities about her forehead' and she wouldn't very well wish to relive her childhood over that. I don't think she would be crazy enough to try and change anything about Sasuke's situation and you she could always make things up to when you were on my team again. As for Sasuke… I honestly don't know where he is. I expected he'd want to be here today, but maybe he doesn't think he can change it either and I wouldn't blame him not to want to relieve the aftermath. That is why you're here, isn't it? The massacre?"
Naruto laughed sheepishly. "Well…yeah. But let's get to that in a minute. Tell me what you did, first. They were your teammates, right? You managed to save them?"
Kakashi nodded. "I saved Obito. Because of that, somewhere down the line, Rin didn't die."
"And they got together? I thought you told me once that your team was like ours in the beginning: cheerful boy likes girl who likes emo boy," Naruto pointed out.
Kakashi nodded again. "That's true. However, after Obito died and made me promise to take care of Rin, I always saw her as the girl Obito loved, and it's not like I could change that after these years. Eventually, Rin realized that I was never going to be interested and, over time, she fell for Obito."
"And you went with Anko?" Naruto still couldn't believe it. "Are you crazy?"
Kakashi shrugged. "We're all crazy, Naruto, it's part of the job description. The most 'normal' of all of us was Sakura, and look how useless she was until Tsunade got a hold of her and started to spread her craziness. In fact, I have a theory: the crazier the ninja, the more powerful they are."
"True," Naruto acknowledged. "But I repeat: Anko? Isn't she a little young for you?"
"I'm not that old, you know," Kakashi replied, looking mildly affronted. "Anko's only two years younger than me and there's nothing wrong with a 22-year-old dating a 20-year-old."
"Whatever you say," Naruto didn't look convinced, but decided to let it drop. He found he really didn't need to know. "Any other life-altering changes I should know about?"
"Hm," Kakashi considered the question. He had already been in the past for a little over ten years now and a lot had changed in that time. Still, Naruto had said, life-altering, so… "Well, you're not an orphan, for one thing."
"What?" Naruto's eyes bulged out. "I have a mom?"
"Everybody has a mother, Naruto," Kakashi said condescendingly. "Honestly, it's like nobody gave you The Talk…"
Naruto glared up at him. "That reminds me: I don't think I will ever forgive you for leaving it to JIRAIYA to give me that. Seriously, if I hadn't sworn off revenge, I would totally kick your ass for that."
"Well it's a good thing you did, then, huh?" Kakashi asked cheerfully. "Anyway, to answer your real question, no, you mother is still dead. Just like before, she died shortly after childbirth because Madara showed up. And don't you DARE feel guilty for that, it wasn't you fault and God knows you've had more problems due to the Kyuubi over the years than anyone else."
"So…" Naruto said hesitantly. "Does that mean that…but how?"
"Your father is still alive, Naruto," Kakashi told him, smiling genuinely at the small boy.
"But what about the Shinigami? Didn't they need a sacrifice to seal the Kyuubi?" Naruto was confused.
"They did," Kakashi admitted, his grin fading. "But the Third Hokage sacrificed himself instead of the Fourth."
"You killed the Third Hokage?" Naruto asked incredulously.
"I did not kill him," Kakashi snapped.
"He didn't sacrifice himself in the original timeline, so you must have done something," Naruto pointed out rationally.
Kakashi sighed heavily. "You have to understand, the last time no one knew what your father was going to do, just that he had a plan. Minato knew that if anyone knew what he was going to do, they would end up stopping him. Almost immediately after you were born, he rushed out to stop the Kyuubi's advance and as such didn't really have any time to make provisions for you. He told Gamabunta to tell Jiraiya to spread the word that he wanted you to be a hero, but the Third derailed that plan by keeping the details of the seal and your parentage a secret."
"So what did you do?" Naruto pressed.
"I let it slip what Minato was planning and the Third decided he would rather be sacrificed to a Shinigami than come out of retirement," Kakashi explained.
Naruto stared at him. "You're joking."
"Well…it might have been a bit more complicated than that," Kakashi admitted. "He said that your father was what Konoha needed right now, that he was too old to take the reins again, that you were going to have a hard enough life as a Jinchuriki without being an orphan, too, and needed someone to take care of you…Minato didn't like it, but in the end he agreed."
"So my father's the Hokage, huh?" Naruto mused. He was saddened at the Third's loss, of course, but he'd come to terms with it five years ago, so it didn't hit him as hard as it would have had it been, say, the very-much-still-alive Tsunade. "Does that mean people have to be nicer to me?"
Kakashi snorted. "Kid, when your father said he wanted you to be seen as a hero, he meant it. His determination that your sacrifice be honored and the fact that your parentage was public knowledge as well as Minato's own hero status, boosted by his defeat of the Kyuubi…well, let's just say that you won't need to bring half of Konoha back to life to get your hero's welcome this time."
"Well that will make the next four years easier," Naruto decided. "You're going to have to tell me about my father, though. If he's been raising me all these years, I'll probably be expected to know a bit more about him than the scraps of information I managed to collect from you and Jiraiya. Hell, even Gamabunta was more talkative than you two were!"
"Of course I'll help you with any questions you may have," Kakashi promised. "I do kind of have a date to get back to, though, so…what are your plans as far as tonight goes?"
"What are yours?" Naruto shot back. "I don't think you went through all this effort to save Obito only to lose him now." A thought struck him. "Wait, so much else has changed, is there even going to be a coup?"
Kakashi nodded solemnly. "Your father is many things, Naruto, but he is not a miracle worker. The seeds of the Uchiha rebellion were sown since before Madara even left Konoha. And, of course, it doesn't help that your father actually saw Madara loitering around the day of the attack. He didn't recognize him, however, just knew that it was an Uchiha and as Madara is supposed to be dead…it gave people a lot of reason for suspicion. Unlike the Third, Minato refuses to let the Council bully him into going along with them but with Danzo having his little minions stalking the Uchiha and with Koharu and Homura's obvious distrust, the coup is supposed to occur sometime within the next week or so. Minato put off ordering it as long as he could, but in the end preventing another Great Shinobi War is more important than one clan. Itachi's to kill them tonight."
"What about Sasuke? I mean, we all know Itachi won't kill him, but he can't be left on his own again either, not after what happened last time. And what about Obito?" Naruto inquired.
"Obito's loyalty to Minato was never in question so the clan never told him of their plans for fear it would be discovered. He doesn't know about the coup and he definitely doesn't know about Itachi's mission. As such, Minato made clear this Obito is not to be harmed," Kakashi exposited. "I'm going to keep Obito away from the Compound tonight so he won't get in the way. He actually found his own place and is in the process of moving out anyway. And as for Sasuke…well, Obito will probably end up taking him in as he'll be his only remaining family member still in Konoha and that way the both of us will be able to keep an eye on him and hopefully stop him from going off the deep end as far as revenge goes."
"Then what in the world am I here for?" Naruto asked frustrated. "I didn't come all the way back here just to serve as Sasuke's 'moral support', which he won't need anyway once he comes back!" He smirked as an idea came to him. "Hey, whatever happened to Orochimaru? I know my…father wouldn't spare him out of sentiment like the Third did, so did he die, remain in Konoha, leave and join Akatsuki again? What?"
Kakashi frowned, unsure about the sudden change in topic. "When Orochimaru's treachery was discovered, your father fought him and managed to drive him from Konoha. He would have killed him, but Orochimaru used his summons to start attacking Konoha and by the time your father had brought out his own summons and turned his attention back to the battle, Orochimaru had managed to flee."
"I see," Naruto's smile was downright evil.
"What are you planning?" Kakashi asked reluctantly, nearly positive that he did not, in fact, want to know.
"I don't actually know Itachi very well, but if nothing else I feel sorry for him for having to actually willingly spend time with Madara," Naruto shuddered. "Total prick. And crazy as hell to boot. Besides, all things considered, he really didn't deserve what happened and Sasuke probably wouldn't have been so traumatized by the massacre if it weren't for the fact that it was Itachi's doing. And if he had a good reason to hate Orochimaru, he wouldn't have gone off train under him, gone off the deep end, and start working for Akatsuki."
"What are you saying?" Kakashi asked carefully.
"Let's blame everything on Orochimaru!" Naruto suggested brightly.
Later that night, Naruto was really starting to regret his plan. Of course, it was still his best chance of actually changing anything, but since the Sharingan could see through illusions and he'd need to fool Itachi or else face some very awkward questions, he'd had to actually transform himself. The only technique he had that did that was his Oiroke no Jutsu and its variations. So he had managed to transform himself into Orochimaru…as a girl. Granted, Orochimaru had been a girl before – in fact, he was fairly sure Orochimaru had been a girl when he'd killed the Third – but it was still weird.
Of course, he really did have better things to worry about than that, but it was better that reminding himself, again, that as much as he wanted to, he COULDN'T help the people he saw screaming for help as Itachi methodically cut them down. Finally, he was done. And just in time, too, as Naruto heard the distinct sounds of an angry mob coming up the street. He wondered briefly what Kakashi had come up with to get a lot of witnesses over to the Uchiha compound at three in the morning, but figured he'd probably find out soon enough.
Itachi's head snapped up, startled. The Uchiha district was rather isolated from the rest of Konoha – half the problem, really – and there was no reason for anyone, let alone a lot of anyones, to be here.
Right on cue, Naruto jumped down in front of Itachi just as the first of the crowd came into view. Sure enough, Kakashi was being chased by a large crowd of angry people most women.
"What-?" Itachi began.
"How dare you break into my house to peep at me!" one of them screamed.
"How do you always get me into these kinds of situations?" Obito lamented.
"I'm going to kill you, you bas-Orochimaru!" Anko gasped, stunned. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Ah, Anko, my dear, it's been too long," Naruto greeted her amiably, his eyes never leaving Itachi's. "How's the Curse Seal holding up? Any problems?"
"You have a lot of nerve coming back here after what you did," she growled.
"Yes, yes, I get that you're upset. We'll settle this later. Right now, I'm here for one reason and one reason alone!" Naruto exclaimed.
"And that is?" Itachi asked quietly, dropping into a defensive stance. Naruto marvelled at the fact that Itachi was so quick to defend the village that had asked him to kill 318 of his family members not two minutes before - and his best friend before that to gain the necessary power.
"The Sharingan, of course," Naruto explained patiently. "With that, I could learn any jutsu…at any time…with very little effort on my part. Of course, those pitiful fools had to charge at me, trying to arrest me for 'treason' or some other such nonsense and so I killed them all. No matter, though. I'm sure your eyes will more than suffice."
"You killed the Uchiha?" Kakashi asked, sounding horrified. "You're a monster!"
"I am above such plebian labels," Naruto sniffed. He had to give Itachi props: aside from a slight widening of the eyes, the Uchiha gave no indication that he was as confused as the rest of them, if not more so, because he knew what had actually happened to his clan and knew that Kakashi knew as well. Now, Naruto didn't actually really remember what Orochimaru used to fight, other than dead people and summons, but since he was supposed to be after every jutsu out there, he figured that gave him some leeway. He figured he might as well start with the Earth Clone Technique he was fairly sure he'd seen Orochimaru use and go from there.
After fighting Itachi for a few minutes – and thirteen or not, the boy was good – the crowd snapped out of their stupor, remembered that most of them were ninja, and started attacking Naruto as well.
"I'm sorry I'm late, I-" Naruto heard Sasuke's slightly breathless voice from the back of the crowd. "What's going on?"
"What's this? ANOTHER Uchiha?" Naruto asked, sounding positively delighted. "I was so afraid that I had managed to kill all of them so this boy would be my only option as a host, but now I see that there is a spare! How wonderful. This is getting a little crowded, so I'll take my leave now, but never forget…I, Orochimaru of the Sannin, WILL be back to steal your body, mark my words," he declared, before using the Body Flicker to make good his escape. Once he was far enough away, he transformed back into himself and headed back to the Compound.
"Hey guys, are we having a party?" Naruto asked brightly.
"No, my entire family was just murdered," Sasuke snapped at him. He looked ill. "And now the world's spinning…" With that, Sasuke fell to the ground in a faint.
"…I should probably go report this to the Hokage," Itachi said at last, no doubt wondering whether or not this strange new development meant he was still going to need to go into exile or not.
"Great idea, I'll come too," Kakashi nodded. "Obito, do you want to take Sasuke with you to your new place? He can't really stay here, all things considering..."
"Of course," Obito nodded, picking up the small child and heading off.
"Naruto, I'm not entirely sure why you're up this late, but you are to go STRAIGHT to bed, okay?" Kakashi said sternly.
"Oh, absolutely," Naruto agreed. And he would. Just as soon as he saw the end result of his meddling.
"Itachi. I didn't expect to see you again. Is it done?" Minato asked heavily as Itachi appeared at the Hokage Tower. He sounded sad. "Kakashi? What are you doing here?"
"I'm just tagging along," Kakashi shrugged.
"Yes," Itachi answered. "They're all dead but myself, Obito…and Sasuke."
"Your brother?" Minato asked.
"He's only eight. He has no idea," Itachi explained.
"I see. Well, I suppose he poses no threat then," Minato decided. "Were there any problems?"
"I'm…not sure," Itachi confessed.
Minato's gaze sharpened. "What do you mean you're not sure? What happened?"
"Right after I finished, Kakashi appeared, chased by a large crowd of irate women," Itachi explained.
Kakashi held up his hands in defense. "I had completely forgotten that was happening tonight," he lied.
Minato looked skeptical, but nodded. "Then what?"
"Then Orochimaru appeared, claimed he had killed everyone, and was planning on stealing my body. We fought, then he left after Sasuke showed up. Said now he had a 'spare' in case he couldn't possess me," Itachi explained, sounding mildly outraged at the thought of Orochimaru doing that to his little brother.
"Orochimaru?" Minato's eyebrows rose. "He took credit for killing everyone in front of a large crowd of witnesses? Are you sure it was him?"
Itachi coughed. "Well, actually it was a woman, but there was no illusion and Anko identified him as her former mentor."
"I see…" Minato trailed off. "But why would Orochimaru take the blame for this?"
"Whoever is said to have wiped out nearly the entire Uchiha clan is sure to gain a fearsome reputation," Kakashi suggested. "Maybe he was after that."
"Maybe," Minato allowed. "Still, I suppose we can deal with that later. For now, since Orochimaru has oh-so-generously offered himself up as a scapegoat, you are, of course, free to stay in Konoha."
"I'm sure Obito would be glad to have you," Kakashi offered. "After all, you're only thirteen and he'll probably want custody of Sasuke."
"Alright," Itachi said slowly, realizing full well just how lucky he'd gotten.
"Well, this isn't really how I pictured today ending," Minato confessed, leaning back on his chair. "Still…perhaps it's for the best."
Note: So in the end, Naruto just couldn't be bothered to deal with Sasuke's revenge obsession on top of all the angst. Of course, now Sasuke's going to be obsessed with revenge on Orochimaru, but that should keep him nice and disinclined to be his apprentice. And should Madara ever show up:
Madara: Konoha ordered Itachi to kill your clan.
Sasuke: Are you senile or something? Orochimaru did it. He admitted it.
Madara: But I was there! I helped do it!
Sasuke: Whatever, crazy old guy…
Also...yes, when Sasuke comes back he'll know what really happened. But since he immediately forgave Itachi for it after finding someone else to blame the massacre on (Konoha as a whole) he's going to be pleasantly surprised that Itachi's still around and just go with it. In fact, he might even go with the 'revenge on Orochimaru' thing because he might still be mad about the trying to steal his body thing. Besides, we all know Sasuke's not happy unless he's seeking SOME kind of vengeance... :p