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Comin' down the years turned over.
And angels fall without you there.
And I'll go on to bring you home.
All because I'm,
All because I'm,
And I'll become,
What you became to me.

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The noises from downstairs drifted up from the downstairs. The sounds of drunkeness, yells, laughter, screams. They were all crowding in her head, crowding in, trying to find a place, trying to get her to listen. But she sat there, alone on her bed, her eyes staring into space. A bloody envelope was in one hand, a gun in the other. Her fingers grasped the envelope as if trying to hang on, trying to grasp what she had lost. The cool metal was heavy in her palm. Her fingers groped for the trigger, felt it, then slipped away. They crept back, then slipped away. Finally she breathed deep, lifted it, placed the barrel to her head, closed her eyes.


This is how its gonna end. I'm gonna die just the way I deserve. Nothing. I was nothing in my life an' I'm gonna die a nothing. No one will even care. I'm comin' Jim. I'm comin'.


Her thoughts echoed through her head as her finger tried to pull the trigger. But suddenly, the slip of metal became hard to push, it was too hard of an action to perform. Sweat began to slip down her face, her fingers slipped and slid on the metal.


Remember though, if things don't work out, or if things go rough, just remember that I'll be back, sometime down the road. And if something should happen to me, you know, being in this dangerous business, I want you to know that I love you.


Ginny's eyes widened, her finger slipped from the trigger as the words echoed in her mind. The gun dropped half a centimeter before she pushed it back into her hair, determination sketched on her young face.


So remember that please. Please remember that. And remember me. Please remember me.


Ginny's lip began to tremble, her hand moved slightly, then dropped to her lap, the pistol uncocked. She placed her hands on her head, the headache that had been there formerly, receding.


Jim wouldn't want me to do this. He said I was strong. If I kill myself, I ain't that at all. He would want me to live, to live out my life as it has been given to me. I'll die when its time, but not now. Not today.


Ginny took a deep breath and stood, her face giving out a warm glow. She sat down at the little dressing table at her side and scribbled out something, placing it in her hand and walking down the stairs.

The sounds that had formerly been driving her crazy, were nothing now. She walked straight over to Jake, his back hunched as he played excitedly, his fingers curled over the chipped keys. She stood at his side till he noticed her presence. He stopped and looked up at her expectantly. She smiled, took his hand, and placed the piece of paper in it. Jake frowned, then read the paper, his eyes widening. "You cain't give me this." He whispered. "Yeah I kin. Its my establishment an' I kin give it to whoever I please." She replied with a smile. "But to give me the whole saloon. I don't know, I mean, what about you?" Jake said in astonisment. "I plan to head out. I don't know what you're gonna do with it, but you're the new owner. Now you've got a life to live. Live it well." She said, kissing him gently on the cheek, even as he stared at the slip of paper in his hands.

Ginny walked upstairs, taking in the memory of the place. She stepped into her room, took the packed valise on her bed, and stood, looking around the room. She grasped the letters from Jim that lay on the dressing table, then gently picked up the stained envelope with it's equally stained letter, placing it in her jacket pocket. She slipped on a coat, all the while her eyes taking in the room. It was all she had had, now it wasn't hers anymore. Ginny took a firm grip on the valise and walked down the stairs and out the door, ignoring Prissy's inquiries. She walked outside in the dusty heat, her head held high. Where would she go? What would she do? Ginny ignored these thoughts.

I don't know whats headed down the road for me, but I do know that I kin do something. I kin do anything I want if I jest try. I've got money in my pocket, letters filled with advice, my love for Jim, and memories to last a lifetime. Plus, I know I'll see him again. He promised. We'll meet again, I know it. And thats enough for me.

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Dreams never end like you want them to,
Endings are never fairy tales.
Friends always turn their backs on you.
All I wanted was somebody who cares.
~Z.H.
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