Author's Note: I only got one review :cries: … Not that I only do this for reviews, I just like them, is all. But I am continuing nonetheless, because I like this pairing! But the problem with being a (mostly) heterosexual female is that I don't know how realistically I can write slash.
A not-so-vague disclaimer: Caution, hot beverage is hot. And I am not JK Rowling so do not own the Potterverse. But please Ms Rowling, please write us some RLSB that isn't just us reading between the lines of the books and trying to ignore Tonks!
Remus Lupin woke up after a night of fitful sleep and opened the curtains around his bed. He jumped when he saw what was outside them. Sirius was in his boxers. Sirius was in his bloody boxers. Sirius was parading around the room in his bloody boxers. He pulled on a jumper before getting up and tried to avoid looking at him. Sirius noticed.
"Is there something wrong, Remy? You look rather shell-shocked." He asked. Remus didn't even bother wondering where Sirius had learnt the word shell-shocked before speaking.
"Some of us don't enjoy seeing half-naked teenage boys in the morning."
"You've never minded before." Sirius pointed out.
'I've never fancied one of them before.' He thought. But then he wondered. Had he? Had he looked without noticing? Did he secretly rate all of the boys he saw? Was he like this with James and Peter? James came out of the bathroom at this point and Remus thought about it. After a moment he was sure that there was nothing sexual in his feeling for his friend and smiled, relieved. He was only like this with Sirius. He was only gay for Sirius. Wait, was he really gay? What about the girls he had gone out with? Hadn't he fancied them? Yes, he liked girls. He liked girls with long hair and big breasts as much as any of his friends. Perhaps it was just Sirius. Perhaps Sirius was too androgynous and he was
confused. He noticed that he hadn't spoken in a few minutes.
"I'm going to be late for class." He said as he walked into the bathroom and locked the door, trying to stop the impending panic attack.
The rest of the day passed in a haze of him trying to act normal around Sirius without actually touching him and ignoring his friend's comments about his 'time of the month' coming early. When he reached his final class of the day, Ancient Runes, he flopped down on his chair next to Lily without greeting her.
"You seem about as tired as I feel." She smiled, getting out the text they were supposed to be translating.
"Long night." He said, not wanting to go into details.
"Sorry we left you alone with Sirius yesterday, Heads' stuff." She lied.
"James touching you up in the Prefect office isn't Head's stuff. At least not in the scholastic sense." He joked.
"Nice, good to know that you can still be sarcastic without much sleep."
"It's a gift." He smiled and they got to work. A few minutes passed as they began the translation.
"So, what did you do with Sirius yesterday?" Lily asked.
"Me? I didn't do anything with him." He said quickly, without thinking. "Oh, we went into Hogsmeade."
"Someone's defensive today. What did you do? Shout at the first years again, because I'm sure that they don't take it very seriously."
"I didn't do anything! I was just awake half the night."
"What, did another girl knock Sirius back? Because James told me how pouty he got after I did." She laughed. "Didn't he make a case for using love potions on me, just to prove that I secretly liked him?"
"Yes, and we spent the rest of that night looking them up in the restricted section." He smiled at the memory.
"How did you get into the restricted section at night?" She asked. Crap, he had forgotten that they'd used James' cloak to get in. He smiled.
"Ah, so you really mean that you don't want to get James in trouble." She smiled. "So, what was it last night?"
"Nothing, Sirius was fine…. He was good, I mean… No, he was well-behaved. Well actually he wasn't, I let him have too much sugar and he spent a few hours drawing up blueprints so he could break into the Ravenclaw common room. To see a girl, not kill people. Because Sirius isn't like his family. And I doubt that Regulus kills Ravenclaws, anyway, because Voldemort really wouldn't be bothered about that." He babbled for a while before stopping himself. "I was just thinking is all."
"God, Remus. What's gotten into you today? You're babbling like James does when he's caught trying to sneak into the girls' dorm."
"Nothing's the matter. I just don't want to talk about it." He bristled.
"Wait; did something happen between you and Sirius?" Lily lowered her voice.
"What? No. Why would you think that? We're just two straight men who happen to be friends."
"'Two straight men', who cuddle at every opportunity, tend to sleep in the same bed when they're drunk and call each other pretty… Yeah, very straight."
"I don't call Siri pretty. We're just good friends." He repeated himself.
"Seriously, Remus, are you ok?" She looked concerned. He took a deep breath and realised that he would have to tell her, other than the marauders, he spent most of his time with Lily, and she had an annoying sense for these things. He cast a muffulato charm around her before talking.
"Lils, I think I like Sirius. Like I really like him. And I think I have for a while but I didn't notice."
"Really? Because the rest of us have been noticing it since third year." She laughed. When he frowned she motioned for him to continue.
"But Lily, I like girls. Like I really like them. Perhaps Sirius' androgyny is confusing me." He voiced the thoughts that he had been going through for the whole day.
"Who said that you had to like one specific type? Look at me, I proclaimed to hate arrogant idiots and I'm seeing James Potter. The heart wants what the heart wants, Remus." She echoed the muggle sentiment that his mother used to use when people asked why she had married a wizard.
"But he doesn't like me! He likes girls more than he likes oxygen! How am I supposed to act around him?"
"Act how you've always acted. And try to talk to him. If he didn't make a big deal about your 'problem', he won't make a big deal about this."
"That's easy for you to say, you don't fancy your best friend. Your best friend who doesn't fancy you back."
"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Remus." She smiled and took off the muffulato charm. "Now, we really should finish this translation."