By Kingdom of Deke
Summary: Hana and Rain cause chaos across dimensions with aid of a weird dimension hopping mechanical horse. Yes, my friends, surrealism is alive and well in Fear Effect country…
Couples: Hana/Rain obviously…but not right away. They start off as mercenary partners more than anything else, then friends and finally lovers. I would really appreciate feedback on this score.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hana or Rain and the whole dimension hopping mech horse concept came from Scud: The Disposable Assassin, a wonderfully demented comic series.
Author's note: This story is sort of an Alternate Universe story. Basically, Hana's past is the same as it was in the game, but Rain's is different, (no gods for parents; here she's just an ordinary woman from California with Chinese parents, hence the Qin surname). The duo first meet when their respective hits suddenly cross paths and, after eliminating their targets and after a night of drinking, decide to team up. Definitely one for the 'It seemed like a good idea at the time' books…
As we join the story Hana and Rain, with a small dimensional portal opening device they 'borrowed' from a tech lab, cross the threshold into the dimension known as Zif. Once there, they are hired to save the beloved King Zgornyfloozy from a band of rebels. However, things do not go according to plan…
Feedback: Yes please! And lots of it!
Chapter 1: The Wonderful Mr. Horse
Hana closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "The monarch of Zif."
Rain looked at Hana, then back at the multi-limbed, multi-eyed, multi-bullet riddled bright green corpse. "The guy we were hired to save?"
"The very same."
"Well, how was I supposed to know that was him?" Rain said, waving the massive multi-turreted cannon the tech heads had dubbed 'Hypervelocity'.
Hana looked at her partner as if she had two heads. "By the numerous pictures they were showing us of the king and his family."
A look of comprehension passed over Rain's face. "Is that what that was? I thought they were showing us the local wildlife to avoid."
A silent, somber moment passed, broken only by Rain pulling a camera out of her backpack and taking a picture of the ex-living monarch.
"What are you doing?" Hana asked, stunned.
"Taking a picture. If we can't collect the reward money we can at least sell the pics to the Enquirer." She took a few more photos before noticing Hana's expression of disbelief. "What?"
Just as Hana was about to tell Rain the reasons you shouldn't take photos of brutally murdered popular kings she happened to glance behind the younger mercenary. Her eyes grew wide.
"Does the Enquirer accept photos of angry rampaging mobs?"
"Do they EVER!" Rain replied. "Why do you ask?"
Hana pointed a shaky finger at a point behind Rain, who turned around to discover an angry rampaging mob heading straight for them.
Before either of them could move the mob had completely surrounded them, pointing various vicious looking, ludicrously huge guns at their bodies. One of the mobs noticed the corpse.
"THEY'VE KILLED KING ZGORNYFLOOZY!!" he yelled too loudly.
Rain decided to use her last ditch attempt to stave off death.
"WE'RE PRETTY SURE HE WAS GOING TO BE THE NEXT HITLER!!!" she yelled.
"Oh, lord…" Hana moaned, burying her face in her hands.
"ENOUGH!!!" screamed the same man as before. "DIE!!!"
As one the mob aimed their guns at the duo and fired.
"Did you hear that?" Rain asked.
"Yeah." Hana answered.
"Sooooo…what d'ya think it is?"
"I don't know. I have my eyes closed."
"Shouldn't we be dead now?"
"Actually, now that I think about, yeah we should."
As a nice change of pace, we get more silence.
"Oh to hell with this", Rain said impatiently. She and Hana open their eyes to find…
"What the hell…" Hana said, staring in amazement at the scene around her.
All around them, from the bullets just inches from their bodies to the furious soldiers and civilians firing said bullets, was frozen.
"What's going on here?" Hana wondered aloud, peering at a solider who was in the middle of reloading his rifle.
"Dunno", Rain answered, shouldering her mightily impressive 'Hypervelocity' cannon. "Whatever's happened saved us from getting drilled full of holes, so I'm not complaining." With that she started to poke at especially short solider with a long, elegant finger.Poke, poke, poke…poke, poke, poke…poke, poke-
"Would you cut that out!" Hana yelled, her voice amplified by the utter silence that now surrounded them. She hadn't meant to yell at her partner the way she did, but the sheer errieness of the situation was…unsettling.
"Alright, geez", Rain muttered, disguising the slight hurt she felt. "It's only just-" She trailed off as they both became aware of the thing which had made the snort noise.
From what they could tell, it was a tall, silver, extremely goofy looking mechanical horse.
Hana's expression settled between bemused and curious. "Don't recall seeing this when we arrived…" she muttered as she and Rain edged closer.
"Weird", Rain agreed.
Once they had gotten close enough, Hana put her hand underneath the creature's cylindrical snout. She was surprised to feel a warm breeze on her palm.
"Hey, this thing's not frozen! It's like…what are you doing?"
This was directed at Rain, who had seated herself on one of the horse's saddles.
"What? I always wanted to be a cowgirl."
At the mention of the word 'cowgirl' a picture of Rain in a scanty western outfit winged its way into Hana's mind. For some reason, a lot of images like that had been winging their way into her imagination over the past few weeks.
"Would you get off of that? We need to get out of here", Hana ordered, searching for the portal opening device. "Now where is that blasted- "
"It's over there", Rain pointed at the small silver device sitting at the feet of a frozen solider.
As Hana strode over to the device Rain spoke up again. "Betcha it doesn't work."
"I'm just sayin', it's probably frozen in time like everything else here."
"Oh, now that's-"
Whatever else Hana was going to say was lost as she first lightly tapped the buttons, then started to furiously jab at them.
Sensing that she was almost defeated, Rain patted the saddle in front of her. "Room for one more."
Sighing, Hana tossed the device away and hoisted herself into the front saddle and grabbed hold of the reins. Once she was in place, Rain wrapped her arms around Hana's waist to keep herself in place.Mmmm…nice…whoa!
Rain quickly loosened her grip. Where the hell did THAT come from?
"Alright, then", Hana said, more to distract herself from what she felt when Rain had her arms around her, "what do I now?"
"I dunno", Rain shrugged. "Get it to start moving I suppose."
Hana had a quick think. Suddenly, an idea came to her. Making sure she had a tight grip on the reins, she made a 'chik-chik' noise with her tongue.
The result was almost instantaneous. Rearing up on its hind legs, the horse let out a high-pitched ninny then bolted forward at immense speed. As it galloped the world seemed to melt away and was replace by a background of sheer black.
"MAKE IT STOP!" Rain screamed, the first tugs of motion sickness manifesting themselves thanks to the almost unbearable speed.
"I DON'T KNOW HOW!" Hana screamed back, holding on to the reins for dear life.
Then, just as suddenly as it had galloped out, the horse galloped back into normal space leaving its two passengers bemused and somewhat ill.
As soon as her eyes could focus again Rain scanned the barren surroundings. "Where are we?"
Hana opened her mouth to reply when a huge shadow suddenly covered them and the next few miles of landscape. Hana and Rain hesitantly looked behind them. Their eyes scanned ever upwards as their mouths hung open. They spoke just one word in unison.
To Be Continued…