We'll run away together,
We'll spend some time forever,
We'll never feel bad anymore.
-Weezer, "Island In the Sun"
Just outside of Detroit, Michigan
Here are the alien pods I told you about. I can't keep them at my new house, so I'm giving them to you. Put them in water and watch what happens.
When Darkbooty saw the pods, he wondered if the junior agent was screwing around again. They looked like ordinary ping-pong balls with standard Arabic numerals stamped on them. Still, as a Swollen Eyeball agent, Darkbooty was nothing if not curious. Although he doubted anything would happen if he got the pods wet, he wouldn't be satisfied until he found out for sure. He filled a bowl with water and dropped the pods into it. At once they started glowing brightly and expanding. Darkbooty jumped back. The light faded, and two furry creatures jumped out of the bowl.
"Hey, nice place ya got heah, grandpa," said the smaller one, turning its head to look around the kitchen. "You don't need dis espresso machine, do ya?"
Darkbooty gaped, struggling to process what he was seeing and hearing. "I..."
The bigger one grabbed the appliance and ran out of the room. The little one followed, yelling over its shoulder, "Tanks, grandpa!"
Darkbooty's mouth twitched before it finally formed one word, infusing it with all of his anger and confusion.
Kauai nature preserve
Gaz was sentenced to a hundred hours of community service. More specifically, her task was to help control the carnivorous vines. So far, it wasn't as bad as she expected. It wasn't exactly fun either, but it was satisfying to cut up the vines with a weedeater. The vines had hurt her; now she was hurting them back. Each severed vine was a trophy that she carried in a sack to the CIA office. And by the time she finished destroying the bloodthirsty plants each day, she found that she didn't have the energy to be angry with Dib. He still annoyed her sometimes, but not so much that she wanted to smack him.
Around four in the afternoon
"Um, Pleakley? What are you doing?" asked Nani.
"Cleaning out this robot."
GIR was sitting on the kitchen table, the top of his head open. Pleakley turned him upside down and lightly banged his head on the table. A shower of crumbs and lint fell out, along with a paperclip, a copper coin, and a marble.
"Ow! My brain fell out!" cried GIR.
"Then how are you still talking?" asked Pleakley.
Pleakley laid him on his side and blew inside his head with an air duster can.
"Aaaaaahh! Brain freeze! Empty head freeze!"
"So...Why are you cleaning Zim's robot on my kitchen table?" Nani put her hand on her hip.
"If he's gonna recharge in our house every night, he's gotta be spotless."
"I want my master," said GIR, his lighted eyes half-closing.
Nani glanced around. "Where is Zim, anyway?"
"I'm telling you, that lab is almost as dangerous as the Leroys," said Nosy. The red experiment was following Lilo, Stitch, Dib, and Zim down the street, past the gift shops and food stands.
"Would you leave my dad alone?" Dib clenched his fists.
"No, this is fascinating," said Zim. "Tell me more, filthy Turan creature."
"Hey, I'm not filthy. I just showered this morning. Anywho, do you know about Destructio?"
"Um..." Zim's eyes glazed over as he searched deep in his memory. "It sounds kind of familiar."
"Stop giving him ideas!" snapped Dib. "Do you want to get dehydrated? Do you? Huh?"
"Dib!" chided Lilo. "You can't threaten to dehydrate the cousins every time they misbehave!"
Dib blinked. "I can't? Why not?"
"Well, Jumba created us, so he should be the one to decide if any of us are gonna get dehydrated," Nosy explained in his usual nonchalant tone.
"Oh yeah?" Dib folded his arms. "Give me one good reason why he should keep you around."
Nosy opened his wide mouth to speak, then paused for a moment. "A good reason? Wow, for the first time in my life, I'm stumped."
"Don't listen to the Dib-worm, Nosy. He's been on an insane power trip ever since that CIA agent told him not to let me leave this stupid island. Which I could do any time if I really wanted to, by the way."
"You're one to talk about insane power trips," said Dib.
"Yes, I am. We superior beings have to stick together." Zim awkwardly patted Nosy's shoulder. He was wearing pair of human children's gloves since Cobra had never given back his right glove. It wasn't the best fit, but at least he didn't have to touch the germy experiment (or any other germy thing) with his bare claws.
"You said I was filthy," said Nosy.
"Yes, well, you're still superior to these stinking humans. Now, tell me more about Destructio."
"'Kay." Nosy shrugged. "Well, Destructio is a robot that was programed to destroy the Earth."
"Can't you switch him to good?" Dib asked Lilo in desperation.
"Nosy is good," Stitch answered for her.
"Yeah," agreed Lilo. "Nosy was never really evil, just mostly harmless and annoying."
"Dilbert here actually dismantled Destructio," continued Nosy, "but Professor Membrane kept the parts, planning to rebuild it someday."
"Why do you people keep calling him that?" asked Zim. "His name is Dib."
"Actually, Dib is short for-"
"Nosy, look! A distraction!" Dib pointed in a random direction.
"A distraction! Oh boy, I love distractions!" Nosy quickly waddled away.
Dib breathed a sigh of relief.
"Wait! You didn't finish telling me about Destructio!" called Zim.
"Don't worry. He'll be back," said Lilo in a resigned tone. "Anyway, you shouldn't get any ideas about messing with doomsday robots. You can't leave, so if Earth is destroyed, you'll be destroyed." Then she gave him a wry smirk. "I don't think you want the amazing Zim to be destroyed."
"I could leave! I could leave this entire ball of dirt if I really wanted to! I could steal Jumba's ship again-"
"Like we'd let you get away with that," interrupted Dib.
"-Or I could build my own!"
"With what?" Dib narrowed his eyes.
"With - stuff that you wouldn't understand!" Zim waived his arms.
"Guys! Guys! You'll never guess what I found out!" Nosy raced toward them.
"That was quick," said Lilo.
"I know! I looked at Cobra's notes, and it seems Zim's parole has been extended. The Grand Councilwoman doesn't wanna lock you up since it wasn't really your fault you invaded Earth. But she also doesn't wanna let you go free where you could conquer other planets. So she decided to keep you on probation here for six Earth months. If you behave yourself and show that you're a good citizen, you'll be free to go. But if you hurt anyone or damage anyone's property without cleaning up after yourself, you'll go to space jail."
Dib's jaw dropped. "You found out all of that in less than a minute?"
Nosy puffed out his chest. "Thirty-eight seconds, to be exact."
"So I just have to keep a low profile for six months and I'm free?" asked Zim. "Ha! I've listened to the Doom Song for six months straight! Compared to that, this will be easy!"
"What will Zim do then?" asked Stitch.
"I dont' kn- I mean, like I'd tell any of you!"
Lilo smiled. "Maybe you'll learn to love Kauai and decide to stay, like Stitch." She placed her hand on the back of Stitch's head.
Dib crossed his arms. "Yeah, that'll happen when Sasquatches fly."
"They could fly on airplanes," Lilo pointed out.
"You know what I meant."
A/N: Man, now Darkbooty is really never gonna trust Dib again. Other than that, it's a happy ending for everybody.
Sorry if the ending is abrupt, but I can't think of anything else to add. And the previous chapter was rushed, too. Meh, maybe I'll revisit this fanfic in a year or so and something will come to me. Until then, thanks to everyone who stuck around until this story was complete! Mahalo!