April 9, 1936
Winter had finally deceased, and the air was now turning moist and soggy. The past two months have been brutal and unfaithful to us prisoners. Snow almost everyday and night, winds up to 40 miles per hour. Many people had died of either overwork or disease. There were only a few of us left in the camp by the end of March, but sure enough, more Jews had been dropped off the first day of April. Many of them will be either gassed or shot down within the next few months, and I refused to talk to newcomers.
My cell seems smaller these days. Though I am now chained free, I am still prohibited to leave my cell without an escort. Trust is a big factor here in these camps, and its not as easy to earn that trust, than it is to lose it. Ikuto on the other hand, has been playing for both sides, and has been holding trust tight to his skin. I trust him, and so does the chief.
He still slips me partial of his meals, and I refuse every time, but he won't take no for an answer. One day, he practically forced the bread down into my hands and down my throat. He refused to apologize, only because he would feel worse if he hadn't been forcing me to eat. He could never forgive himself if I died. I would be dead within a few weeks if it weren't for him. Though I must admit over past few weeks, I have lost weight and continue to. I'm naturally skinny to begin with, but even now I'm heading toward a danger zone. My ribs, pelvis, and back bone are now becoming visible. Not as visible as most prisoners but still, I'm growing weaker.
I woke up in a cold shock. Even though it's now April, the early spring rains are still cold enough for someone to freeze to death. Goosebumps trail up and down my arms and legs, making me pull them closer to my inner body. Still, even with the extra layer of clothes that Ikuto had provided me with, it was so cold. I try not to sleep all that much, it would make me seem more vulnerable to the Nazis, and to death.. I only try to sleep when Ikuto is around. His body provides me extra warmth, plus I feel safer in his presence.
I stand up and stretch out my sore muscles. Currently, we are "working" on a new cabin to store more Jews. I feel as if it's a sin to partake in this sort of work, but what choice do I have? If I didn't work, I would be put down, and if I was put down, eventually so would Tamo. I shake the thought of death out of my head and look out the little slot of my cell. It was raining..again. The clouds were a thick gray, and the rain was coming down at a steady pace. The light breeze pushed little rain drops onto my face, waking me up to my fullest. I was safe for today, so far..
I stand at the little slot watching the rain fall outside, feeling the moisture of the outside wall. There is no green inside the camp. No grass, no trees, and sometimes I feel as if there is no sky either. We are trapped in a colorless box. God knows this is Hell, so he intends to dress it like Hell. I rub my arm to get rid of my goose bumps, it worked, but only up to a certain point. I was still freezing. Since my hair was getting longer, it made it the whole way to my middle arm, and I hated it. Ikuto told me he would cut my hair, but he wanted to wait until it got a little warmer, which it has, but not warm enough. I cant take it anymore though! Long hair isn't my style, besides it tickles my arms..
Footsteps echo down the hallway, becoming louder as they come closer to my cell door. I don't turn around, because I already knew it was Ikuto. His footsteps are light and unthreatening, unlike the other Nazi's. Death follows in their shadow's, and they show no emotion other than hate. Hitler has rubbed off on them, and I hated it. The footsteps stop outside my door, and I hear keys rattling. The door opens slowly and then closes quickly. I still refuse to turn around, for I am weak, and don't feel like seeing anyone right now. I hear Ikuto sigh and walk over to me. I soon feel his body heat, and I have to use every bit of will in my body to keep myself from burying my body into his. We stay put like this, until I see a pocket knife pulled out in front of my face, safely secured in Ikuto's hands.
"Do you still want me to cut your hair?" He asked with his deep husky voice. Without hesitation I nodded my head and stood up straight, just to make things easier for him. We had about ten minutes until the morning whistle blew, so I hoped he was quick with his fingers.
He took one of my pick locks and took his knife to it. He tugged and pulled on my head. I felt as if he was going to rip my hair right out of my head! I held onto the front part of my head, trying to relieve some of the terrible pain. I wanted to scream. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth while taking in a sharp breath. "Relax!" he said taking the knife away from my hair.
"How can I? It hurts!" I said stomping my foot while tears trailed down my pale face.
"The less you squirm, the quicker we will be done," he said sighing. He was getting impatient, and so was I, but he was right.
"Just get it over with.." I said crossing my arms, preparing myself for the worst.
The pain continued for about five more minutes, but I was relieved when he finally finished. My arms no longer tickled, and my head felt lighter. I felt my hair with my fingers, and ran through my now pink and shaggy locks. He didn't stop cutting at my shoulders where my usual length was, no he cut until my he reached the middle of my neck.
"Why so short?" I asked feeling the jagged edges.
"The shorter your hair is as a prisoner, the less you will risk of getting lice. Besides, it's getting humid outside and I don't think you would want to suffer," I gaze at the hair that lay on the cell floor, but then look away in discus.
"Thank you." I said feeling my hair once more. This will take patience to get used to.
"No problem.." he smiled and then took me by the upper arm. The morning whistle blew with a screech and Ikuto lead me outside for a long, sticky day's work.
We are freezing. The wind howls as we work, while the rain falls down at a steady rate. I can no longer feel my toes or my fingers, but I still continue to work at a constant pace. I dare not yawn, cough, sneeze, wheeze, or anything that can show weakness. Otherwise, I would be dead within the next hour. Neighboring workers are being pulled away from work and taken to be put to eternal rest. I bite back tears as I watch many being pulled away. Tamo puts down his shovel and scurries over to me, clinging onto my left leg tightly. I place my hand on his head and look down at his bloodshot eyes. I sigh and bend down to hold him close. He was freezing. These past two months have not been good to Tamo. With his small body, and with how thin his, he was more vulnerable to disease. I knew he had typhus, without a doubt in my mind I knew he had it. If we were checked again, Ikuto would have to take Tamo away. Somewhere safe, where he won't be found.
Tamo no longer had color to his skin, or his brown hair sitting on his head. He had lost the rest of his hair once mid march rolled around. I blamed typhus. He had forgotten how to laugh, smile, and even breathe half the time. I fear if we don't get out of here soon, Tamo will be dead quicker than a Nazi could pull a trigger. A big gush of wind clapped me out of my negative thinking. I guided Tamo back to work and then continued with mine. Nazis were on the look out all the time.
The day is almost over. I pray with all of my being that we are not called to be checked for typhus again. I know with Ikuto's bread that I am getting my food, but just bread wasn't enough to stop typhus. Typhus could be spread through out the entire camp, which is why they put people down who have it. They didn't want all of their "workers" to be put down, other wise, they wouldn't get pleasure from torturing us. It's simple facts like that, that make me grateful that I have a cell all to myself. I had a smaller chance of catching diseases, and I felt as if it were a blessing in disguise. Tamo, on the other hand, is exposed to all certain types of disease.., and I felt so guilty. I continue to pray for him deep into the night, hoping he is still alive when we are forced out onto the work field the next day. Thankfully, I have seen him every morning when we come out. I fear though, that one day, our luck will run out and I will no longer see him again..my poor little brother, Tamo.
The ending of the day whistle finally blew, and we set all of our tools in one big pile. Ready for us tomorrow morning. I look around for Ikuto, and he motions me over with his right hand. I sigh, but I scurry over to him, trying to beat the rush of the others. The rain suddenly falls at its hardest. Roaring as it slaps into puddles and on the roofs of buildings. I reach Ikuto and he grabs a hold of my upper arm, making me feel safe and a bit warmer. He pulls me close to his side, practically tucking me in his troop coat.
We scurry for the building where my cell is located, but I suddenly remember that I had forgotten to say goodbye to Tamo. I stop and cling onto Ikuto's coat, making him stop. "May I please say goodnight to my brother?" I ask letting my lip pout a bit. My father often told me that my lower lip was a secret weapon of mine. I used to make give him the look when I was younger, just asking for another cookie, or another story before bed. It always worked. But that's when I was young and had chubby kid cheeks. Now I'm 13, and I had no excess fat on my face, or anywhere for the fact. Ikuto studied my face and let his eyebrows furrow. He looked around, checking the other police.
"Make it quick." I nodded and pushed my way back into the crowed of scattered prisoners.
I push by tired, depressing faces, trying to reach Tamo. My stomach churns in pain, and every step I take the churning only gets work. Something is not right, I should have reached Tamo by now. I always told him to walk in the middle of everyone, to be safe and out of sight from the Nazis. The rain continues to fall. The rain drops sting my skin, making me flinch in pain. The wind blows hard, practically knocking me over. I know I must trudge on. For I know Tamo is not well, and I needed to reach him before it's too late. I can feel the tears in my eyes threatening to fall. My heart ached as I pushed and ran. I knew it was getting late.
The crowd slowly faded. I had reached the end and looked around frantically. My heart stopped and the bottled up tears started to roll. Tamo was on the ground, not moving. I rushed to kneel beside him, but I knew it was too late. His eyes were tightened shut, and his mouth was partially open. I placed my hands on his arm, I was met with still ice. I let my hand fall down to his wrist where his pulse was located. I waited, and waited, but nothing.. Tamo was no longer breathing, and he was no longer living in this place of hell.
The tears now refused to stop, and the rain only fell harder. The mud surrounded me, and I was now filthy. I slammed my hands into the earth, splashing mud upon my face. All of this was not fair. It wasn't fair! I let my screams be heard above the howling winds and unforgiving rains. The only thing I had left in this world was now ripped away from me, and there was no way of him back. Tamo was gone, and now the last part of me was too. I see no reason to live anymore.. No Tamo, no hope.
I know a lot of you may be upset with me right now. 1. For being so late with this chapter. 2. For actually killing Tamo… It's part of my story line, so no need to fret. Anyways, I hope you guys liked it.
The next chapter will be posted soon I am hoping. (That is if I can get my sister to share the laptop. Haha) LATER!