I think if I call you Fred this will be easier to do. I'll just act like I'm writing to you, even though I know you wont get it. You're worm food by now.
The nutter healer that mum insisted I go to said that I need to start writing down my feelings in a journal...which sounds like a pretty nancy thing to do if you ask me. Can you imagine me writing about feeeeelings? HA! I almost feel bad for the guy, thinking he's going to help me. There's nothing wrong with me, well nothing new, haha!
So let me tell you how things have been since you decided to go on vacation for the rest of eternity.
Well we got the shop up and running again. Most of the family came to help put it back together not too long after you left. It looked like hell! I woulda rather done it all myself instead of putting up with the likes of Ron, Percy, Ginny, and Granger. I know they meant well but the constant looks of 'concern' they were giving me and asking me if I was all right was getting on my goddamn nerves. I'm not a fucking baby I think I can manage. Good thing mum stayed home, I don't think I could deal with her constant crying. I just want everyone to forget about it and just, you know, move on.
You should have seen ol Ronnie's face when your will was read. He looked even dumber than usual. Actually everyone was pretty surprised that you left your half of the company to him. Lucky for him though, because if I would have died instead of you, Harry would have gotten my half. Imagine if we both kicked it, this place would be run by those two. It would be closed in 2 weeks. HA! Gits.
So we've been open almost a month now. It's been...interesting is the only word I can think of to describe it. Ron's not as much of a fucking idiot as I thought he was. Don't get me wrong, he's still a clueless moron, but just a somewhat clever clueless moron. He's actually pretty good with the books and numbers and paper work of it all. Its pretty scary. But actually I think he might be bringing it home and making Granger do it for him. Maybe that's what they are doing in the bedroom when I hear the headboard slamming against the wall over and over. I guess when he finally gets the numbers to add up, she feels the need to scream "YES!" over and over. Yup, that's what I'm going to keep telling myself.
He moved into the flat with me after all the repairs were done. He was probably tired of the crowd in the house, too. Charlie and Bill (and his very hot wife) were still hovering about. Add on top of that Granger and Potter living there too, it was just way too many people there. Plus I know what Potter is trying to do to our sister and I refuse to be under the same roof when that happens. Git.
So needless to say Ron and me butt heads a lot because he's a clueless arse and I'm super fucking awesome. We do get along most of the time, he just can't take a joke. The other day I said something about Granger's tits and he actually decked me. I was just kidding, I don't even look at her tits. I was just trying to get a rise out of him. I guess I did, though I wasn't expecting a punch to the face! Oversensitive, that one.
Granger practically lives here too (for free, the bum!). God only knows what she sees in ickle Ronnie. Maybe he has a huge cock or something. Who the hell knows. But its okay having her around. She fusses at us both because we are slobs and leave messes all around. Well why would we clean up when we know she will do it, and do a way better job of it too? She's not much of a cook so we order takeout most nights. Sometimes Ron cooks and its actually decent. I think that pisses her off. How dare someone be better at something than her! Haha neurotic woman. I once mentioned that we should get a house elf to keep the place tidy and cook for us and I thought she was going to actually hex me. Oversensitive, that one. Hey look they have one thing in common!
She also fusses at us when we drink too much, and sometimes locks herself in Ron's room...I guess to 'protest' our good times. I bet if she gave in and just had a drink or two it would kill that bug that crawled up her arse and she'd loosen up. Don't get me wrong, she's okay. Its just so much fun to rag on em both and get em worked up. It's almost too easy. After being here for a month they have toughened up a bit, so I gotta kick up my game a notch.
Anyway, this is already a lot longer than I intended. I probably won't write again because this is pretty stupid. We'll see. Later.
I know I said I probably wouldn't write again but this was too great not to put on paper. This morning I cooked breakfast for the three of us. Why, you ask? Well I know its an old joke, but it is always a guaranteed laugh. I hid a fake spider under Ron's eggs. I almost felt bad about it until he found it. He threw the plate, screamed like a girl and ran into his room, all in front of his precious girlfriend. She was pretty hacked off and threw her plate at my head though, covering my face with eggs. Then she went to his room to comfort the poor widdle baby. Well I guess this kind of back fired on me because not 15 minutes later I heard them fucking again, this time intentionally not using a silencing spell. Ugh I felt my eggs start to come back up and I had to leave my own place. So the joke was really on me wasn't it? Fuck!
Why do I keep writing in this? I could use it to document new products and experiments I suppose. Ron actually came up with this candy that will seal your mouth shut for one hour. That would have come in handy when we had to deal with old toad face eh? HAHA! You think Ron would mind if I used it on Granger? Sometimes she just won't shut up. I think he might enjoy the silence too. We'll see. We have a few more ideas for things to put into the skiving snack boxes, and a couple more for the Wonder Witch product line. We're also debating whether or not to put a more 'adult' section in the back, if you know what I mean. Ickle Ronnikins is quite a little pervert, I'm tellin ya!
Ive has quite a few drinks tonight, I'm pretty fuckin pissed. It gets pretty lonely around here sometimes.
Why did you go? What the fuck! How could you leave me here alone? I wasn't even there when you died, I WASN'T EVEN THERE! I had to see you lying there already fucking dead. Percy the traitor was there, Ron and Granger and Potter were there, but where was I? Who the fuck knows? And I wonder all the time if maybe I would have been there too that things might be different. It was my stupid idea to split up, MY STUPID FUCKING IDEA! I don't know if I will ever get over the guilt, it's my fault you're dead. I should have been there. I could have stopped it. I could have been dead too, anything is better than this fucking sorry excuse for a half life I live now. FUCK!
Note to self: Do not write when pissed. Seriously, how depressing was that last page? Whiny bastard. Now I look like a nutter. If anyone ever finds this after I die and reads it they will think I'm mental. They would only be half right.
I've been mopey and not doing much at work, Ron's been picking up my slack and not even complaining about it. Who is this strange bloke who has taken over his scrawny body? I'm not going to complain. Sometimes I get in a mood and just don't feel like dealing with the fucktard customers that come in. You were always better at dealing with the people, I was better behind the scenes. Well Ron sucks just as bad as I do at customer service so we're going to have to hire some more people. Business is starting to pick back up since almost all of Diagon Alley is back up and running. School starts in less than 2 months so all the little school shits are coming in stocking up on things to take with them.
Our most popular product this year is the love potion. Desperate fuckers. It's not that hard to get laid is it? I've certainly had my share of ladies since you left. Most of them I don't even remember. Sometimes I go out to muggle bars just to go somewhere where people don't look at me with pity. The muggles don't know what's happened, so they treat me like any other bloke that walks in. Its kinda nice. Granger gives me evil looks when a random tart walks out of my room half naked the next morning. Oh well she can get over it, not all of us have found "TWU WUV" like she has. Oh yeah and I also banged your ex girlfriend. Oops. At least she didn't call me Fred while I was fuckin her, that would have been awkward. If it makes you feel any better we were both completely trashed and she left before I even woke up the next morning. So yeah. Oops.
Say HI to my ear for me will ya? I do miss him terribly.