Because the only way to get Drew to show any sort of romantic-related feeling is to tease him. Mercilessly.
(AN: rated T for some... inappropriate themes? yes. also! its back and forth. example: drew-may-drew-may. so don't get confused, my little puppies!)
"...What are you doing?"
"Huh? Oh-- oh! Nothing..."
"You know, you're a horrible liar May."
"Psh. Am not. I just, you know... I'm not that bad."
"Is that so? One would think otherwise from the way you constantly fidget when you are lying."
"I don't fidget...!"
"Yes. You're fidgeting right now, which proves my point. Why were you tearing apart that rose anyway?"
"I was just--"
"Wait, is that the rose I gave you?"
"So? You gave it to me, so it's mine. I'm entitled to do whatever I want with it."
"Your logic astounds me. Really."
"It doesn't matter. I was just playing a game..."
"A game which requires you to decimate an innocent flower?"
"An innocent flower? You can't exactly call an inanimate object innocent. I think you're a little too into roses Drew."
"It is a healthy amount of interest, thank you very much."
"Oh, sure. You're, like, constantly carrying roses around. What's that about?"
"Why? Is there something wrong with it-- Why are you smirking?"
"Ah, well, just wondering about you."
"Well, what kind of fruit carries around flowers?"
"Hah! I have finally rendered the oh-so-great Drew speechless. Oh, yes. I am made of epic awesome."
"You admit that I'm great?"
"W-what? Stop smirking! That was a sarcastic statement!"
"Oh, really? Are you sure that you aren't wanting me with the burning passion of a thousand suns?"
"...Okay, then. That was really creepy. Are you okay?"
"Sorry about that. My mind temporarily broke down."
"Due to my epic awesome?"
"No. Just... no. I'm still wrapping my mind around the fact that you called me a... What was it? A fruit? How childish."
"Go ahead; roll your eyes, Drew. You're just adding to it. And don't be in denial. I know you've been having trouble with your sexual orientation, but--"
"Are you suggesting that I'm interested in men?"
"I wasn't suggesting, oh-smart-one -- that was a sarcastic title. Haven't you noticed that your fanclub is slowly being invaded by guys?"
"Twice in the same day? Oh, yes. I am not just made of epic awesome; I am made of of epically awesome WIN."
"Were... Were you serious about that?"
"The invasion-of-guys thing? Yeah. Although, some of those guys are pretty attractive. Hey, I wouldn't mind some hot boy-on-boy action--"
"Don't go there. I'm getting some disturbing images of Ash, that Korean guy you're always going on about, and myself."
"Korean guy...? Oh, Jaejoong? Wait, did you just admit to Ash and Jaejoong being attractive? Oh, my--"
"I didn't say that."
"Ha ha ha! Yes, you did! I just mentioned you getting it on with an attractive guy, and you mentioned Ash and Jaejoong. I think... I think I'm a bad influence on you."
"As rare as it is, I agree with you. You are a horrible influence. What with you and your dirty thoughts."
"You're saying that you're more prone to thinking dirty thoughts now?"
"Oh, goodness. I'll have to warn Ash now. I think I still have his number somewhere..."
"You're going to tell Ash that I think dirty thoughts about men? You realize he's not going to believe you, right?"
"What? Actually I was just going to say that to watch his back when he's around you, but you just gave me a better idea!"
"...He's still not going to believe you."
"This is Ash we're talking about. If I told him that you glared at him to have an excuse to check him out, he'd totally believe me. Because, really, you glare at the poor kid a lot."
"I do not glare at him to 'check him out.'"
"You just used air quotes, Drew. That is so last year. And I beg to differ. Why should I believe you? How do I know that you're not really into guys, hm? You don't seem to show interest in any girls. And there are plenty of them throwing themselves at you."
"...Is that a hint of jealousy I detect in your tone?"
"Uh, wow. I think you're more delusional than I originally thought."
"Humph. It's because I'm not interested in those... fangirls."
"You just shuddered. Fangirls aren't that scary, are they?"
"You have no idea."
"Well. Um. If you're not interested in fangirls or boys what are you interested in? ...Oh, never mind. No need to answer that."
"You're asexual, huh? Eh... whatawaste..."
"I am not asexual. And what did you just mumble under your breath?"
"Who uses the phrase 'mumble under your breath' when they're talking? Weirdo. And I didn't say anything. Again, you're more delusional than I thought."
"Well, if you're not asexual, then what are you? Oh, god, you're not into Pokemon, right? That would be sick."
"I don't know why I put up with you when you constantly degrade my integrity."
"I don't degrade it constantly. Just time to time, and when you totally deserve it. And you put up with me because, like I stated before, I am made of epically awesome WIN and you hope that some of that sparkling awesomeness will rub off on you!"
"Right. Of course. Why am I talking to you again? Oh, yes. You never told me what you were doing to that rose. Are you keeping pent up violent frustrations? That's not healthy."
"I told you; it was a game. You know? Where you pull the petals off one by one?"
"...'He loves me, he loves me not?'"
"Who is this... 'he' you were thinking about?"
"Oh, ew, no way. He's like the annoying brother I definitely did not ask for."
"Not Brock. He's like my dad. Which is really gross. And not Harley, either! That guy has it out for me, ever since I called his hair ugly and his complexion horrible."
"Well, you know... Uh."
"Ah... what... what did you land on?"
"Did you just squeak? And you're blushing?"
"Shut up, Mr. I-claim-I'm-not-asexual-but-clearly-I-am."
"I told you, I'm not asexual, woman! I do happen to be interested in someone."
"Oh, really? And who is this unlucky girl?"
"Why are you so cranky?"
"No need to be defensive. And what do you mean by 'unlucky'?"
"Well, you're clearly a jerk and you don't have a romantic bone in your body and you're utterly clueless and as oblivious as Ash and... and... You seriously suck at deciphering a girl's behavior!"
"How do I suck at deciphering girls' behavior?"
"Just... Because you can't even tell if she's totally in love with you--! ...Crap. Did I say that out loud?"
"Wait, did you just imply that you're... in love with me...?"
"Uh, um... Ah ha ha, what... No-- I-- Pshhh. You know. I just, kinda... Um. Yeah, you know. I think that one guy has the hots for that other guy, don't you?"
"You suck at changing subjects. You didn't answer my question. Although, the awkward stammering and shifting eyes pretty much gave you away..."
"What? You are such a...! UGH. You are such a narcissist. Seriously."
"Ah, but you do not deny it?"
"Er, just... Um. OH MY GOSH, IT'S THAT ONE GUY."
"...May. Be serious, for once."
"I... Well, it doesn't even matter, right? I mean I bet you don't even like me. You pretty much said you don't enjoy my company--"
"...Did... did you just kiss me? What the heck?!"
"Why'd you slap me?!"
"You have to warn a person before you do those sorts of things...!"
"Fine, then. I'm going to kiss you again, May, and you're not allowed to slap me."
"...Uh. Um. That was really... Uh. Wow."
"Still think the girl I'm interested in is unlucky?"
"I have to insult you to turn you on. What's up with that? Guys have weird fetishes nowadays."
"I'm going to kiss you again."
"You know how weird that sounds--"
"...Correction. Just being around you turns me on."
"...Okay, that was super, super corny and slightly perverted, but sort of sweet, I guess."
"For starters, you might want to run."
"My dad has kinda been watching us the whole time."
"What? Why didn't you say this earlier-- oh, shi--"
AND THEN MAY'S DAD BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF DREW.
Poor him. DD: So. Yes. First DrewMay fic. And I also haven't written Pokemon fanfiction nor watched the show in a while, so... They're probably OOC, yes? Ah, well. I love dialogue fics :D And, this is when they're older, obviously. We can't have two little kids going around locking lips, can we? No, we cannot.
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