A/N: This is my first friend on here convinced me to write one. I hope you guys like it. If you do, please pass the word along. Leave any kind of comments or reviews. I prefer more the positive help but whatever works i guess. Characters will be slightly out of character but hey, it's fanfic right? anyways i hope you enjoy!!
disclaimer: i don't own twilight~~
Come What May
Chapter 1: Until Now
My life should not be this complicated right now. I should only have to worry about college, pimples, and who is dating who this week. Then again, I Bella Swan, am far from a normal 18 year old girl. Getting into college and dating are the least of my worries. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be normal again. I can think that all I want, but the truth is that I would not change the things that happened. Mostly.
When I moved to Forks to live with my dad, I did not expect much. I simply wanted to get through school with as little drama as possible. I think it is safe to say that fate did not get the memo. I knew my life was going to change the moment they walked into the cafeteria. More importantly though, the day I met him.
I can still feel the ache in my chest with the slightest mention or though about the Cu…Cullen's. I'm not a complete zombie anymore. Only slightly. I have gotten pretty good at faking things over the last few months. I have only recently begun to heal. That day he left me in the forest, still haunts my dreams.
"You're not good enough for me, Bella."
Along with the memories comes the pain. The pain of my chest exploding into a million pieces and a whole being left where my heart used to be. I wrap my arms around my chest trying to hold myself together. Any moment I feel like my chest is going to swallow me whole. Some days I wish it just would, or that a whole in the ground would form and suck me in.
When I met them, I not only gained who I thought was the love of my life, but also a family:
Carlisle and Esme, the best parents anyone could ask for. So full of love and understanding. Despite our differences, they excepted me and loved me like one of there own. Never judging. Esme was like the mother I always wanted. Don't get me wrong I love Renee, but sometimes I just wanted to be a girl who needed my mom. Esme filled that void. Carlisle was like my second dad. What more could a girl want.
Alice, my best friend and sister through and through. She was so full of energy and life that it was slightly contagious. Even when she would annoy me with her next shopping expedition, I loved her. She always watched after me.
Jasper, my brother I didn't know all that well but still loved him just the same. I don't even blame him for attacking me at my birthday party. It was not his fault I can't make it through a day without causing myself some form of pain.
My bear of a brother Emmett. The not so gentle giant. His hugs could make anyone smile and feel safe, when you could find your lungs again. As crazy as he was, I knew I could always count on him to have my back. I even consider Rosalie a sister, even though she hated me for some unknown reason. I still love her.
Then there is Ed…him. His name is the hardest to say. My own personal heaven. I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with him. Hopefully, all of eternity. I have come to the conclusion that I have been lying to myself. I always said I was not good enough for him. Now I know that I was right.
We survived a lot together. He saved more times than I think it was worth. That day that Tyler's van almost made me part of the parking lot. The first day in biology when he wanted to kill me. We survived meeting his family and him meeting Charlie. Then there were the nomads that day in the baseball clearing. James almost finished the job when my knight in sparkly skin showed up just in time. He sucked the venom out of my arm before it could spread and start the change. I will never forget that day. I have the scar to remind me everyday of the life that I wanted to belong to. I guess now I know why he never wanted to change me. He thought that when I found out what he was, that I would run screaming. His families devotion to not drink from humans only made me love them more. Even after all the things we survived, it only took one tiny friggin paper cut to put a stop to my forever.
He promised never to leave me. That he would be here as long as I wanted him to be here. He told me we would be together forever. Then he told me he didn't love me anymore. That I wasn't right for him. He left me broken and alone. They all did. No one said goodbye. Not even Alice. That little fact hurts almost as bad as the words he said to me. My world came crashing down that day 6 months ago. 1 week after my disaster of and 18th birthday party.
I was a shell. A zombie cursed to walk this world empty and alone. My friends at school stopped talking to me. They gave up trying to invite me anywhere with them. Jessica thinks I'm insane after our trip to Port Angeles. My dad doesn't know how to act. He's afraid that he might slip and say something to set me off. He tried sending me to stay with Renee and Phil. That day was the first day that I showed any emotion what so ever. That is what it finally took to snap me out of my catatonic state I had been living in. With every tear and every sob that racked my body, the whole expanded in size. The reality of what happened that day in the woods came flooding in. I could no longer hide in the state of delusion. Needless to say, I stayed with Charlie. The only people who stuck with me through my "dark times" were my dad, Jake, and Angela.
Jacob. My Jacob. He has been the person who started putting me back together. He is like my own ray of sunshine. He gave me reason to smile again. I still remember that first day in his garage when I decided to go see him. He was so mad when the two goober friends of his came by. I like to refer to Quil, Embry and Jake as the three stooges. It fits trust me. Although his feelings go deeper for me than mine for him, he understands and says he's willing to wait. I told him it was hopeless but he is even more stubborn than me. Just thinking about all the conversations and laughs we have shared while sitting either in his garage or at the beach bring a smile to my face. But it also brings a slight pain to the crack in my chest he started to repair.
He promised me never to hurt me or leave me like he did. That he would never hurt me like that. I trusted him with everything. So why does his name bring a round of pain to my chest? Why am I sitting out in front of his house in my truck instead of hanging with him in his garage? I wish I knew.
It has been 2 weeks since I have seen or heard from him. 2 weeks of being told that he was "sick" and wasn't allowed visitors. Billy wouldn't even let me talk to him on the phone. Always making some kinds of excuse. So I had decided that if when I called this morning and I didn't get to talk to him I was coming to see him. What surprised me though was when I called and Billy said that he was out with friends. That made me a little upset that he had not called me. So when I got sent home early from work today I decided to come to La Push and wait. So here I sit in front of his house, waiting for him to come home.
I'm not sure what I did to chase him away and make him hate me so bad, but I refuse to lose another guy in my life without an explanation. Not now that I'm finally healing with Jake's help. I was prepared to wait all day and all night until he come home. Lucky for me, I would not have to wait much longer.
Emerging from the tree line, I saw five very large figures emerge with Jake at the front. I only recognized two of the others with him. One was Embry and the other was Sam. I could only assume the other two were this Paul and Jared I heard Jake mention. I also remembering him saying that Sam was bad news and would never join his "gang". What was he doing with them? Is that why he hasn't been answering my calls?
No matter what the outcome was, I was getting the answers that I deserved. He owes me that much. I was not leaving until I knew what was going on. Little did I know how much more interesting my life was about to get.