Disclaimer: I do not own How I Met Your Mother, and I am not making money off of this.
Ted slid into the booth again, setting down the tray of the next round.
"You guys won't believe what one of my students gave to me today."
"Dude, never bang a student, it only grants trouble. Now, during the summer, that's different, they aren't your student anymore. And some of those girls over the summer are pret-"
"NOT was I was going to say, and I don't even want to know. No, they gave me this card."
Pulling a business card from his wallet Ted tossed it on the table. Barney, of course being the child of the group, decided that he was going to be the one to grab it and read it. That's why Ted made sure it wasn't far from his reach, the guy really is predictable. But… he threw the card back on the table and leaned back, sipping his drink, eyes wandering away from the crowd.
"Ah, it's nothing, don't bother."
"What is it?" Now Marshall wanted to know. That's a good thing, right?
"Crispy Cabana, been there, it's nothing special, Lusty Leopard is better."
"You've been there?" Ted had a grin on his face, he knew something was up. Barney turning down a strip club?
"But dude, the grand opening is tomorrow. There's no way-"
"I'm, I know a guy, it's not a good place. It's dirty and the girls suck. And not in a good way."
"Wow, Barney, I'm proud of you. Now if I can just get you away from the Leopard…"
"Don't bother Robin, you like the place too."
"I DO NOT!"
"Well, I have to call it a night."
"It's only nine thirty."
"Exactly, I have a flight out to Tokyo tomorrow morning, see you guys later."
Everyone watched as Barney left, perhaps a bit too quickly for their liking.
"Well, THAT was weird." Robin shook her head. She wasn't sure how to do this boyfriend thing, but she had an idea that this wasn't part of it.
"You guys want to go?" Lily looked excitedly at the card, grin shining in the dim light.
"What?! Lily, you can't be serious."
"I want to go."
"Come on, Barney's like, the connoisseur of strip clubs. This place isn't even open, and he's turning it down. I want to see what's so bad about it."
And that was pretty much the end of discussion. The topic changed, and the group found themselves at the opening night of the Crispy Cabana. So far they hadn't seen anything that they would consider to be horrible, even Robin was enjoying herself. Of course, the male strippers helped quite a bit with that.
"And now to the stage." The crowd looked up in anticipation as the announcer was bringing on another dancer. So far the place was clean, the booze was good, the food was cheap, and the dances were pretty good. Even if they were around a pole.
"I can't believe Barney's missing out on this. I can't see anything that he wouldn't like! There are girls everywhere, they have scotch on tap and th-"
"Barely!" Marshall didn't finish his thought, the announcer came across with the dumbest stripper name ever. Their attention turned to the pole on the main stage, and their jaws dropped.
There, clad in the tightest black leather ever to be seen, was Barney's doppelganger. Jaws fell to the ground in excitement.
"Oh man, Ted, dude, get a shot of that. We HAVE to send that to Barney. What are the odds, both Lily AND Barney have doubles in a strip club!" Just then, the blond man on stage wrapped himself in half around the pole, acting as though he was missing a spine. His silverblues caught the group, and he froze.
The group's activities and smiles stopped.
Perhaps it wasn't Barney's double...