. I turned my head slightly to the side and our lips met. We pulled away breathing hard, once our breathing was normal Jasper asked the one question that was going to change my life forever.
"Are You Ready?"
"Yes." I answered, surely.
"I love you." Jasper said looking me in the eyes.
I smiled and replied.
"I love you too."
He kissed me one last time ,I closed my eyes and I could feel his teeth lightly grazed the spot where he kissed .Then he bit. It was nothing like Carlisle had described. It wasn't a horrible feeling, it didn't feel like I was being punctured. It didn't feel like I was actually being bit into at all really. I could feel warmth. The warmth spread over my shoulders and neck. It felt good. The warmth wasn't like fire burning me alive. I felt the warmth spread from my wrists to the top of my arm. I'm guessing he bit my wrists. I could feel the warmth all over my body. It was a good feeling not bad. I then past out at the feeling of the peaceful warmth. I started to see images. Then voices. It was from when the Cullen's left. It felt like a sixth sense.
It started from the day of my birthday, from when I met Edward and Alice in the school parking lot.
"happy birthday Bella!"
"Shh!" I hissed at Alice glancing around the lot to make sure no one had heard her.
She ignored me. "Do you want to open your presents now or later?" She asked eaferly as we made our way to where Edward still waited.
"no presents," I protested in a mumble.
She finally seemed to process my mood. "Okay…later, then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?"
I sighed. of course she would know what my birthday presents were.
" your radio has horrible reception"
I frowned. I didn't like it when he picked on my truck. The truck was great. It had a personality.
He leaned closer and pressed his icy lips to mine. As he intended no doubt I forgot all about my worries and concentrated on remembering how to inhale and exhale.
His mouth lingered on mine cold and smooth and gentle until I wrapped my arms around his neck and threw myself into the kiss with a little too much enthusiasm. I could feel his lips curve upward as he let go of my face and reached back to unlock my grip on him.
Edward had drawn many careful lines for our physical relationship, with the intent of keeping me alive. Though I respected the need for maintaining a safe distance between my skin and his razor-sharp, venom-coated teeth, I tended to forget about trivial things like that when he was kissing me.
He did it because he was in love with Alice. A voice whispered to me.
"can you do me a favor?"
"that depends on what it is."
"Bella the last real birthday any of us had was Emmett in 1935. cut us a little slack and don't be too difficult tonight. They're all very excited."
"fine I'll behave."
"I probably should warn you…"
"when I say they're all excited…I do mean all of them."
"Everyone? I thought Emmett and rose were in Africa."
"Emmett wanted to be there?"
"So if you won't let me get you the Audi, if there anything else you want?" he asked
"you know what I want." It came out as a whisper.
A deep frown carved creases on into his marble forehead. He obviously wished he'd stuck to the subject of Rose. It felt like we'd had this argument a lot lately.
"Not tonight Bella, Please."
"Well maybe Alice will give me what I want."
Edward growled – a deep menacing sound." This isn't going to be your last birthday Bella." He vowed.
He didn't want you to be Immortal, he didn't want you to know about him and Alice. The voice whispered again.
"That's not fair!"
I thought I heard his teeth clench together.
They were all waiting in the huge white living room; when I walked in through the door, they greeted me with a loud chorus of 'happy birthday' while I blushed and looked down.
Alice let go of Jasper's hand and skipped forward, all her teeth sparkling in the bright light. Jasper smiled too but kept his distance. He leaned, long and blond hair, against the post at the foot of the stairs.
"Time to open presents." Alice declared. The voice whispered again, Keep looking at Alice when she hands you the present.
She put her cool hand under my elbow and towed me to the table with the cake and shiny packages. Alice's face suddenly went blank but no one noticed. I hadn't noticed it before, but know it's like I'm seeing it in a third person's point of view. Alice came out of her vision and smirked slightly but she covered her expression up.
I put my best martyr face on. "Alice, I know I told you I didn't want anything-"
"But I didn't listen," she interrupted, smug. "open it." She took the camera out of my hands and replaced it with a big square silver box.
The box was so light that it felt empty. The tag on top said it was from Emmett, Rose and Jasper. I tore the paper off, then stared at the box.
it was something electrical with lots of numbers in the name. I opened the box hoping for further illumination. But the box was empty.
Rose cracked a smile. Jasper Laughed. "It's a stereo for your truck, Emmett's installing it right now so that you can't return it."
Alice was always one step ahead of me.
"Thanks Rose, Jasper." I told them grinning as I remembered what Edward said earlier.
"Open mine and Edward's next." Alice said. There was a small flat square in her hand. Now watch everyone's expressions carefully. The voice whispered.
" Give it to me." I sighed.
I took the little package, rolling my eyes at Edward and Alice, while I stuck my finger under the edge of the paper and jerked it under the tape.
"shoot." I muttered when the paper sliced my finger. I pulled it out to examine the damage. A single drop of blood oozed from the tiny cut.
Look at Jasper ,Alice and Edward's expressions. Now!. The voice commanded.
I looked at Jasper first. His expression wasn't in pain, he was just frowning and looked me in the eyes. Wow. His eye's are pretty. Pretty random thought don't ya think. Look at Alice and Edward's quickly! The voice commanded.
I looked at Alice her face was smug, I then looked at Edward, he had the same expression.I saw Jasper glance at Edward and then Alice, he growled then he slammed into Edward, and the sound was like the crash of boulders in a rock slide. There was another noise, a grisly snarling that seemed to be coming from deep in Jasper's chest. Jasper tried to shove past Edward, snapping his teeth in front of Edward's teeth.
Emmett grabbed Jasper from behind in the next second, locking him into his massive steel grip, but Jasper struggled on, his wild, empty eyes fused only on me.
He wanted to get to you. He saw the smug looks on Alice and Edward's faces, Edward and Alice wanted you to get killed, wanted you dead, so that they only had to deal with one heart brake, instead they broke, six hearts The voice whispered.
"Okay lets talk."
He took a deep breath.
"Bella, we're leaving."
I took a deep breath too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask.
"Why now? Another year-"
"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barley pass for thirty, and he's claiming to be thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."
His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. We did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant.
He stared back coldly.
With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd misunderstood.
"when you say we-" I whispered.
"I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct.
I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any signs of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak.
"Okay." I said. "I'll come with you."
"You can't, Bella. Where we're going….it's not the right place for you."
Lie, the voice whispered.
"Where you are is the right place for me"
"I'm not good for you Bella."
Truth, the voiced whispered.
"Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging." You're the very best part of my life."
"my world is not for you." He said grimly.
Lie, the voice whispered
"What happened with Jasper –that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"
"You're right," He agreed "It was exactly what was to be expected."
"You promised! In phoenix, you promised that you would stay- "
"As long as that was best for you."
"No! this is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me- somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that and I don't care. Edward. I don't care!, you can have my soul. I don't want it without you –it's yours already!"
He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up his eyes were different, harder –like the liquid gold had frozen solid.
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.
It's the truth the voice whispered.
There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head. A few times, sifting through them for their real intent.
"You….don't want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without eye's were like topaz –hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he's spoken.
"Well, that changes things."
He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll always love you…in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect were not human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."
"Don't" my voice was just a whisper now' awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."
"You're not good enough for me Bella."
That's a lie, the voice this
"If….that's what you want…"
He nodded once.
"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much." He said.
"Don't do anything reckless or stupid, do you understand what I'm saying?"
"I'm thinking of Charlie of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself- for him."
And I'll make you a promise in return." He said. "I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. I can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."
Lie. The voice said.
"Don't worry. You're human –your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."
"Well, I won't forget. But my kind…we're easily distracted….that's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."
"Did I frighten you?" his voice anxious.
"What's wrong Bella?"
"I'm dead right?" I moaned " I did drown. Crap,crap,crap! This is gonna kill Charlie."
He frowned, too. "You're not dead."
"Then why am I not wakening up?"
"You are awake Bella."
I shook my head. "Sure, sure. That's what you want me to think. and then it will be worse when I do wake up. If I wake up which I won't because I'm dead. This is awful. Poor Charlie. And Renee and Jake…"
"I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare, but I can't imagine what you could have done to wind up in hell. Did you commit many murders while I was away?"
"Isabella Marie Swan." He whispered. The strangest expression crossing his face .he almost looked mad. " do you, believe that I asked the Volturi to kill me because I felt guilty?"
Truth the voice whispered. He made you believe that he went because he thought you where dead, but he went because he felt guilty that you tried to kill yourself over him.
"I thought I'd explain it clearly before. Bella I can't live in a world where you don't exist."
Lie the voice said.
" you weren't going to let go," he whispered " I could see that. I didn't want to do it –it felt like it would kill me to do it –but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that if you thought I'd moved in, so would you."
"but how could you believe me? After all those times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?"
"I'm just Happy that everything worked out between us all." Alice said smiling, dismissively.
Lie, the voice said, softly.
"Are You Ready?"
"Yes." she answered, surely.
"I love you." I said looking in her multicolored eyes.
she smiled and replied.
"I love you too."
I kissed her one last time ,she closed her eyes and grazed my teeth lightly, where I had left a pink mark. I bit. Her blood flowed into my mouth, and I swallowed, I sucked some blood, to get used to the wonderful taste and stopped, I lifted my head up to see my love, eyes closed, her mouth parted slightly but the corners of her lips curved slightly as if smiling peacefully.
I'm sorry, I thought to her, even though she could not hear me.
I then bit both of her wrists and waited for the screaming to start.
But it never came.