A/n: It's time to annoy everyone's favorite Death Eaters! My first attempt at a Harry Potter story, let alone the "ways to annoy" stories. Review!!

Chapter One: 35 Ways to Annoy Bellatrix Lestrange

Tell her Voldemort loves Lucius more than her.

Send her love notes. Sign Snape's name.

Send Snape a love note. Sign her name.

Set her up on a blind date with Snape (this will get BOTH of them).

Tell her she needs to try yoga.

Ask her if she and Rodolphus would still be cousins if they got divorced.

Ask her who does her hair.

Every five minutes, ask her if she remembers "that time she got owned by Molly Weasley".

Tell her Sirius was only faking.

Replace her wand with one of the twins' fake ones. Laugh as she tries to dispatch Harry Potter with a rubber mouse.

Call her Trixie. She hates that.

Tell her you think Hermione has better hair than her.

Get a copy of Gryffindor's sword. Trick her into thinking you broke into her vault.

Have the Hogwarts house elves follow her around all day.

Throw butter knives at her while yelling "THIS ONE'S FOR DOBBY!"

Ask her if Lucius is secretly her lover.

Ask her if Snape is secretly her lover.

Laugh at her. No matter what she says.

Have Trelawney predict her death non-stop.

Dye every piece of clothing she owns orange.

Make her read fanfiction.

Sign her up for Dancing with the Stars.

Try to teach her to tap dance.

Whenever she tries to do something sinister, tell her not to bother, all of her plans fail anyway.

Tell her she just needs a hug. Cry when she won't let you hug her.

Tell her you know just the therapist to help her get over her anger.

Lock her in a room with Sirius Black fangirls.

Change every song in her iPod to "The Water Buffalo Song" from Veggie Tales.

Ask her if she wants to play My Little Ponies with you. Cry when she says no.

Tell her Snape is more loyal than her.

Tell her to get over herself.

Mimic everything she says.

RickRoll her.

Constantly remind her that Dumbledore is a better wizard than Voldemort.

Poke her repeatedly.

A/n: I know I'm going to come up with more as soon as I post this. Maybe I'll post a follow up if that happens. I think I'll do Lucius next. Review!!!