The Sword Thief

We all know that everyone dies eventually, right? Well, it's Naruto's time, but he gets sent to the wrong afterlife!

"Well, shit," Naruto shook his head in exasperation. "Honestly! Can't I be normal for just this once?!"

Still lamenting his oddness, Naruto looked around and spotted two guys in white outfits rushing in his direction using what almost looked like Shunshin, but made a sound like radio static.

As they got closer to him, he noticed something about the taller of the two. He knew that he should probably make nice with the locals, but he couldn't help himself- the guy looked too funny. He made an attempt to contain his laughter, but quickly failed.

"SPOON! AHAHAHAHA!" He pointed and laughed at the taller one with the eyepatch.

Spoonhead -as Naruto now thought of him- roared his rage and attacked Naruto with his crescent-moon-scythe weapon. Naruto, being a ninja, easily dodged out of the way and started charging his chakra, which, now that he noticed it, seemed almost... heavier, somehow. He decided to put it out of his mind for the moment; he had bigger problems to worry about. Like the guy trying to take off his head.

"You little bastard! I'm gonna kill you!" Spoonhead shouted.

"Really, now? I highly doubt that." Naruto taunted in reply.

"You'll never even scratch Nnoitra-sama! He's go-" Nnoitra's lackey found himself cut off by an irate blond ninja.

"Pfft! Yeah, whatever, I- oooh, nice weapons!"

Tesla just blinked for a second, startled, but that was all Naruto needed. He instantly charged up a Rasengan, Shunshined behind the the lackey, and jammed a Rasengan into his skull, while taking advantage of Nnoitra's shock at his speed to snap out a chakra-enhanced kick to his side, sending the oddly-dressed man flying. At this point he could not care less about fair play.

Tesla's body fell forward, head gone. Naruto picked up the sword from where it had fallen, as it was a well-crafted piece and, while not an expert, he knew his way around swords. Added to that, he was fairly sure that, wherever he was, he would not be able to just pop by a weapons shop and pick up some kunai. He quickly nicked his thumb and wrote out a storage seal on his left forearm, going as fast as he could so as to finish before Nnoitra recovered.

When he had finished the seal, and was about to put the sword into it, he heard a whisper from Kyuubi.

"Boy. These are zanpakuto, or some variation thereof. Do not treat it as mere battle-fodder. They are living weapons that are born from their wielder's soul. Normally you would not be able to use these, but as I have threatened to eat the spirit, it acquiesced and granted you permission to use it. Collect as many as you can, if you would."

"Why? I already have plenty of power. You saw to that."

"There is an old saying, 'There is always someone better'. It definitely applies here; added to that, you are in unfamiliar territory. Perhaps they have an innate ability to render all of your techniques inert? I refuse to die, again, because you were a terminal case of Did Not Do The Research. And there is truly no downside to this; maybe a higher level version of the technique, but this? No. Besides, since when were you one to turn down power?"

Naruto grinned wryly. Of course the fox was looking after its own skin. Meanwhile, Nnoitra recovered, and was glaring hatefully at Naruto.

"You little bastard! How dare you so much as touch me! I'm a god of my kind!"

Naruto's eyes hardened at this. "A god, ne? Well, lets see how a god stands against a demon!" Thus, Naruto commenced his attack, unsheathing and slashing quickly and brutally with the zanpakuto he took from Tesla, forcing Nnoitra to release his, lest he be overwhelmed by the sheer speed and number of the attacks.

"Inore, Santa Teresa!"

Naruto's eyes widened at the sight of the newly six-armed Espada. However, he received another whisper from his tenant.

"Your sword's command is 'Uchifucero, Verruga.' Just so you know, you will not get quite the same effects as the previous user, and won't be able to seal the sword's powers completely again."

Naruto sent a thought inward to acknowledge the statement, then focused.

"Uchifucero, Verruga."