These events don't happen consecutively, they're during a span of time.
Disclaimer: Is owned by FreshTV and since I am currently unemployed, chances are I am not working there…
Kelly sighed and headed towards the DR ready to start her very fun day of work, certain that Emma would manage to find a new way to screw up today, hopefully her subordinates' mistakes would not get her a strike.
Hoping for a nice walk to work, without an interruption from an obnoxious Aussie, Kelly picked up the pace, using her full stride, only to find like very other day, Ripper somehow managed to catch up with her, this time not accompanied by his other half, Lance.
"Hey Kelly, wait up!" He yelled jogging to catch up to her, "For a sheila you sure do walk fast."
"What do you want today, Ripper?" She asked, saying his name with disdain.
"You know, I don't know why you always say my name like that, in Aussie strine it means fantastic or great."
"Then I apologize for the misconception, I don't think you are either of those things. I'll be sure to change your nickname to something more descriptive of you…How do you say disgusting in "Aussie strine"?"
"Well, bonzer…but why would you call me that?" He replied smiling to himself, bonzer really meant the same as ripper, so he wouldn't mind if she called him that.
Kelly looked at him suspiciously, trying to see if he was telling the truth, and coming to the conclusion that there was no way to tell.
"Whatever, what do you want anyways?"
"What? Oh, well I was going to chuck a sickie, and I thought you might like to join me."
"I'm going to assume from the words used, that you're skipping work today, and thus I must respond with the very obvious response." Kelly remarked stopping and turning to face Ripper.
"Is it yes?"
"No, and I must also wonder why Lance is not here as well, since you two are conjoined at the hip, and he enjoys getting strikes as much as you."
"Lance? He's trying to save his butt, screwed up yesterday and got a strike, doesn't want another one." Ripper exclaimed shrugging, "Which leaves me, and you can't skip by yourself, it's boring, hence why I'm asking you."
"I'm very flattered that I'm you back-up when your boyfriend can't come out and play," Kelly said sarcastically rolling her eyes, "But I'm not getting a strike because you're an idiot."
"Wowser!" Ripper yelled as she walked away.
Kelly smiled as she headed back to the staff housing, happy to be done with work. After the groms had set her up on the horrible blind date with Baumer she had hardly wanted to get up, let alone go to work, in fact if Ripper had decided to ask her to cut today, she might have said yes, might have. Regardless, she was happy that the day was over, and she could wash dining room off of herself, and then go to sleep early.
Of course, like often in her life, Kelly's hopes for the day were completely changed when she happened to run into Ripper, although today's run-in was a lot more embarrassing than usual.
Hurrying to her room to pick up her shower supplies, Kelly failed to notice that Ripper and his trusty sidekick, Lance, happened to be playing videogames, and managed to trip over their cords, ripping the controls out of the gaming device.
"Holy dooley! What'd you do that for!" Ripper yelled as Kelly caught herself from a very painful face plant with her arms.
"Oh you know, I just wanted some attention, so I thought, why not "accidently" trip over their cords, then they'd notice me, because I just crave for you to notice me." Kelly answered picking herself up off the floor.
"I knew it. You know, all you had to do was ask." Ripper said interrupting Kelly as she opened her mouth to say something. "Ah well, now you've got it, come over here you bastard and I'll give you a nice pash."
"One: I was being sarcastic. Two: I'm hurt that you'd call me a bastard. And Third: I'm not sure what a pash is, but I'm sure it's something that I do not want, so ew." Kelly responded, putting a finger up for each number she said.
"Stopping telling a porky, and get over here, my old fella has cracked a fat, and I think I've got a franger up in my room, so what'ya say?" Ripper asked slathering on the Australian slang, to confuse Kelly, since she looked so adorable when she was trying to figure out what he had said.
Finally, giving up, she glared at him and started to head upstairs.
"Getting a head start?" He asked her as her foot hit the first step.
"I have no idea what you just said, but I'm pretty sure that the answer is no." She replied not turning around.
"She didn't even plug us back in!" Lance said after she'd left looking at his controller despairingly.
Kelly had managed to avoid Ripper for a weekend, since she didn't have work and had stayed in her room basically the entire time, except for a trip to town to pick up an Australian slang translator, which she had somehow managed to find.
Sadly, the Ripper withdrawal, was making her depressed, she wasn't sure why, since she didn't like him at all, he was disgusting, he had a flatulence problem, and he was not attractive. At all.
She had work today though, so that meant that she'd have to see Ripper, which she was not looking forward to, because she did not like him.
Leaving her room, she headed toward the staff changing room, studying the book in an attempt to understand what Ripper was saying, of course she didn't get very far, since Ripper caught her a few steps out of the staff house.
"Ah there's the sheila, I though you'd gotten abducted. Haven't seen you all weekend." Ripper commented matching her stride, which had quickened at the sound of his voice.
"Aw, did you miss me?" She asked not looking up from the book.
"Okay, that book is destroying our us time, what are you reading?"
"Us time? That's a little ridiculous."
"Not really I got no you time all weekend, and so I'm making up for it now, and I don't appreciate you reading during it, no matter how good the book is."
"You sound like you actually care." Kelly remarked giving him a look of perplex ion.
The look he gave in response managed to confuse Kelly even more, and since she was so busy looking at him, and trying to figure out why he was looking at her like that, that she missed the tree that was right in front of her.
"Ow!" She yelled as the right side of her face collided with the tree, and she lost her balance, not landing on the ground because Ripper grabbed her in time.
"I think I'm really going to need that eye patch now." She muttered rubbing her eye, hoping it wouldn't swell.
Ripper barked out a laugh and smiled at her, not letting go of her wrist, even though she was now properly righted.
"I think I'm a danger to you, you seem to fall every time you're in my presence. Takes "falling for someone" to a whole new dimension, huh?"
Kelly sputtered out a response, denying any liking for him, and thought about what he said. Admittedly it was true, she was clumsy around him, but, she reassured herself, it was definitely just because his flatulence made her light headed.
While Kelly worked through her very confused thoughts, Ripper took the time to grab her book out of her hand.
"Australian Slang for Dummies? Trying to learn the language of love, Kelly?" He asked looking at her bemused.
"No! I'm trying to figure out what you're saying all the time, and I have to say, you are a pervert!" Kelly yelled hotly, glaring at him.
"Am I? I'd like to say I'm just being honest."
"Um...ew. What I don't understand is why in that fabulous sentence that you said to me after I tripped over the controller cords, why you said your dad was…you know." Kelly said blushing slightly at what Ripper had said exactly.
"My dad? Um…Kelly, I don't think you were reading the right translation for my strine. Which region is this from?"
"What do you mea-? EW! You really are a perv!" She yelled making a face as she got what he was saying.
In response, Ripper just smiled a relatively suggestive smile.
"What I really want to know," Kelly said pausing and biting her lip nervously, "Is what pash means. It wasn't in there, and it's annoying me not knowing."
"Weeeell…I could show you better than I could tell you…"
Kelly shot him a suspicious look not really sure if she wanted to know that bad, if it was like the other stuff…
"It's not bad I swear." Ripper promised seeing the look she was giving him.
"Well…okay." Kelly answered, letting curiosity win over wariness,
With the okay from her, Ripper pulled a very startled Kelly into a kiss that frazzled her brain cells, and left her wanting more. Her reaction was almost immediate, and she kissed him with the same ferventness that he was producing. When they separated, after a good few minutes, they were both gasping for breath.
"That was…How would I say it? Ripper." Kelly remarked smiling at him, amidst pants.
"You do realize that we're going to get a strike for being late, right?" He asked smirking at her.
Kelly bit her lip for a second, thinking about whether the strike was worth what had just happened, before coming to a decision.
"Eh, I suppose it was worth it."
She smiled at Ripper before they started towards the staff room, because if she admitted it, the Aussie accent was kind of cute. Kind of.
If you need a translation for any of the slang, please ask.