Disclaimer: I do not own any of the properties mentioned in this story.
What you should know: This is a sequel of "The Time Loop Conspirators." I would recommend reading that story before this one. Also this story has several crossovers and touches ideas that might hurt some sensibilities.
Special Thanks: First and foremost to all the owners of these properties since they created them in the first place. Also want to thank to 'The Fanfiction Forum' and 'FanFiction(dot)net' where you can find most of these time loops stories. Special thanks to Innortal, Psykosama, blackkyuubi, Daneel Rush, Perfect Lionheart and several others writers and posters since all theirs stories helped in someway or other to this creation (you can find their works in the previously mentioned websites).
The Time Loop Support Group
Final Meeting: The Counter-Plan
"Yes?" Answered lazily from his seat the captain of the Soyokase to the North high boy.
"Weren't you supposed to… I do not know… teach us something?" Said the teenager known as Kyon while all the other members of the Time Support group nodded.
"But I am."
"So… what are you exactly teaching us?"
"I already said it." Said the military dressed man.
"Yes! The lesson today is: Do whatever you want!"
"Whatever we want?"
"And there won't be any… repercussions?"
"Why would there be? Those are my orders and this is my class."
"Very well then… Boys?…"
And with that all of the members of the Time Loop Support group left the room. Leaving alone the man considered the most irresponsible individual in space.
"Oh well… That's how things have to be." Said Tylor while reclining on his seat again…
"No! no! no!" Said Onizuka Eikichi while slamming the tests on his desk. "All of these are wrong!"
"But we finished them!" Exclaimed a much bruised Saotome Ranma.
"But you did not pass! This here doesn't even have a single answer right!"
"Oh come on! I was practically dying while doing the test!" Said a bandaged Kyon. "I had to finish it quickly so I could get medical attention! Besides how in the hell I am supposed to know about mythology, advanced physics and dark pop culture?"
Onizuka looked at the boy in a very threatening way.
"Do not give me that crap! I know that that you could have aced this test if you had really tried!"
"I had a bullet in my stomach!" Screamed the enraged boy.
"So what? Look at your friend the wall crawler. He was in the same situation as you and he aced his damn test!"
All the members of the Time Support Group turned to an already bandaged Spider-man who just shrugged the statement.
"I am used to it."
"So…" Said the GTO while surrounded by a very dark aura. "… Now all of you have to re-take the test again and once again it will under an inch of your lives!"
"But we finished it… in extreme conditions!" Said an also bruised Uzumaki Naruto. "Don't we deserve something for our determination?"
"… Deserve something for your determination?..." Said an angry Onizuka. "… Let me tell you what you get… NOTHING! Determination does not amount to anything unless you succeed in what you set yourself to do in the first place! So all of you go back to your seats and take the test again!"
"Suck to be you guys." Said a smiling, and bandaged Kurosaki Ichigo.
"What are you talking about Kurosaki? You'll take the test again too." Said a serious Onizuka.
"What? Why? I passed it!"
"Yes, you passed it. Had a great grade too…" Said the man in the white suit. "However if the web head can ace it so can all of you!"
All of them turned to Parker with murderous faces.
"Damn… Even here I get into trouble for being a nerd." Said the web swinger while hanging his head down.
"Saotome! Uzumaki! You are almost recovered already. Go outside and beat yourselves down until you are no more than bloody versions of yourselves again before taking the test."
"And Ikari, put a bullet in Kyon's stomach again."
"I hate you…"
"And don't you dare to stain my tests with a single drop of blood or it will be an automatic F!"
"It's impossible." Said Harry Potter to his 'instructor.' "Are you sure that I can't use magic?"
"Ku ku ku. It is not necessary if you are a real man." Answered the shark toothed Maid Guy.
"When have you heard about communicating with your printer connecting the USB cable to your ear?" Said Kurosaki Ichigo while holding said cable.
"That just proves that you are still a long way to reach your goal of manliness. Besides, look at that boy!" Said the man while pointing a black nail to Ikari Shinji. "He was able to do it in his first try! That shows that he is even more of a man than all of you!"
Shiji blushed. He was still wondering how was he able to pull it off. Had all that time piloting the EVA gave him some type of compatibility with machines?"
"Although I do not approve of the material that he decided to print from his brain. But I will not criticize his hobbies."
Everybody present began to snicker making Shinji wish that the earth would shallow him. But then, how he would have known that the memory that was printed was when he was… doing that… with Azuka… and Rei… and Misato… hopefully the bodies were so entangled in the picture that nobody wouldn't recognize them…
"Although I must admit that those friends of his are very athletic to put themselves in those positions… if it weren't for my Maid Guy senses I wouldn't have recognized them at all."
"Once more!" Bellowed the Raikage to the Time Support Group.
"Give us a break!" Exclaimed Naruto rising from the ground while pointing to a figure in front of them. "He is using Susanoo!"
The figure that the nine tails container pointed was covered in the spectral form of the god of seas and storms while dancing happily.
"Tobi is helping! Tobi is being the practice dummy for the Time Support group! Kamina-sama is going to be so glad!"
"So what?" Answered the Raikage.
"So what?!" Screamed Naruto. "It's one of the strongest techniques that the ninja world knows!"
"You… disappoint me boy. You are not what I expected. She is certainly blind."
"I met a certain Hyuuga girl some time ago..." Said The gigantic man without looking at Naruto. His attention fixed on the rest of the Time Support Group getting pummeled by Tobi and his jutsu. "… I began to train her for my own reasons. But make no mistake; I would have cut her training short at the first sign of a weak spirit. However she never relented or complained. She had a great determination to go forward and improve… When I asked her what kept her trying so hard she said that it was because of her special person. A person that she spent a long time looking from afar."
Naruto was speechless.
"She spoke of him so highly that I thought that this person would end up being my greatest challenge." Now the Raikage looked directly to Naruto. "It seems that I was wrong."
"You didn't let me finish old man…" Said Naruto while rising from the ground. "… As I was saying, he is using Susanoo… and it's one of the strongest techniques that the ninja world knows…" Red chakra was flowing from him. "… But it is not something that I haven't faced before!"
With that Naruto went to the charge again.
"Good." Answered the Raikage with a smile.
"Yes?" Said the easy going man while stopping bouncing a rubber ball in a paddle in order to look at the North High student that was talking to him.
"It is true that you are the captain of a spaceship?"
"Yes! The Soyokase." Said Tylor with a smile. "Oh the good times that I have spent there!"
"And it is true that with said ship…" Continued Kyon. "… You once destroyed a complete fleet by using their own weapons and the gravity of a near star?"
"Uh? Who told you that? Is Yamamoto-kun or Yuriko-san here? How mean of them not telling me that they were here too!"
"No, actually it was somebody else… By the way, what are we studying today?"
"Uhm…" The UPSF captain crossed his arm and put a face of extreme meditation. "I know!… Everybody, just do whatever you want!"
"Yes, that's the captain's orders!"
"O… K… if you insist…"
And once again the members of the Time Loop Support Group Left, although a little bit slower than the last time.
"They are good boys." Said Tylor when left alone while playing again with the ball and the paddle.
"Why did you lose?" Asked Batman to the ones present.
"You used Muxibustion." Said an angry Ranma to the costumed man. "and then you paralyzed me with gas!"
"You used an improvement of that hellish chakra sealing device." Said an also angry Naruto. "And then you used gas to knock me out."
"You used a device that acted like a reverse shinigami badge to put me back in my real body." Said Kurosaki Ichigo, also annoyed. "And then you used gas!"
"With me you only used the gas…" Said an almost ashamed Spider-Man.
"In other words…" Said Kyon who lost in the most shameful way of all… to the infamous backhand. "… you cheated."
"You lost because you forgot the rules…" Said the Dark Knight while walking away. "… You must never forget the rules."
"You never must forget the rules." Said Naruto in a mocking way (and low voice).
"Rule number one: You give me everything you have."
"I don't have much. You can ask my bank." Said the friendly neighborhood hero.
"Rule number two: Then you give me more."
"Yes, I have more here for you alright. Just give me another chance." Said Ranma in a threatening way.
"Rule number three: I make the rules."
"It figures, another one of those…" Said with a sigh Harry Potter.
"And finally…" Said the caped crusader while finally stopping in front of a big console and pressing a button making a lot of holographic images appear around the room.
All of the Time Support Group members were astonished. On the images they could see information about themselves. Biographies, strengths… weaknesses… and ways to exploit them.
"… Rule number four: Always be prepared."
Those were the screams of the artificial vampire while he threw away his handgun after he had depleted all its ammo on the dark shapeless cloud that he was trying to run away.
"Completing your objectives…" Said a deep voice coming from the dark form. "… is not a real victory."
The dark cloud began to form a hand… that was holding a hand gun way too heavy to be used for ordinary men.
"Argh!" Screamed the vampire while holding the stump that used to be his leg.
"Killing your enemy…" Continued the dark voice. "… is not a real victory."
The hands began to rip apart the remaining limbs of the screaming vampire. While not too far away the member of the Time Support Group watched. Some with interest, some others barely holding their lunch.
"The real victory…" continued the dark voice finally taking the form of what many considered to be the original vampire, Alucard. "… Is BREAKING your enemy!"
Even thought only an illusion created by the No Life King in order teach his lesson to the Time Support Group, the artificial vampire screams were real enough to fill the chamber.
"I'm stuck." Said Harry Potter to his 'sensei.'
"Again? You really suck at this." Said Katsuragi Keima while pausing his game (after reaching a save point of course) and checking the progress of the legendary wizard.
"Hey I'm not that bad! I could get all the individual girls. It's the Harem route the one that is giving me troubles."
"I have the same problem." Said Kurosaki Ichigo also bringing his PFP to the Catching God.
"Damn! You really are hopeless. Why can you be more like him?" Said the Maijima Academy student while pointing to a certain North High student.
"It's not a big deal…" Said the unassuming boy. "… Nagato has been having an interest in those kind of games recently and she sometimes lends them to me."
"That still does not explain it thought."
"As I said I only play it in the way that I think would bring the best solution…" Said the teenager still without showing that much interest. "Not that it would actually work in the real world."
Katsuragi Keima stopped what he was doing as soon as he heard those words from Kyon.
"Take this character for example…" Continued Kyon without noticing a certain 'God' getting closer. "… If we were to compare her actions to, say Haruhi, then it would mean that she would be interested in me. Of course it is not realistic at all."
"Real?..." Said a visibly angry Keima. "You dare to compare the likes of my dear and perfect 2-D girls to the flawed trash that is the 'real'? HOW DO YOU DARE?!?!"
All the present were awed at the amount of power irradiating from the 17 year old boy. Even Ranma was surprised at the amount of inner power that his convictions had.
"The 2-D is a perfect paradise were only the most pure and wonderful heroines exist." Continued Keima with a sparkling aura surrounding him. "They beautiful hearts had to be touched in the most carefully thought ways in order to save them of the curse that is a bad end."
"But what about the unrealistic Harem ending?"
"Again comparing it to the filthy reality." Said an annoyed Keima. "Get this once and for all, THE PRISTINE PERFECTION OF THE 2-D WILL NEVER LOWER TO THE LEVEL OF BLANDNESS THAT IS REALITY!"
Everybody was just silent.
"The Harem ending is the crystallization of said ideal." Continued a more relaxed Catching God. "In every linear quest, when you go after a heroine there is the unavoidable heartache of leaving the others behind… to their sad and loveless destiny. But with the Harem ending you can avoid it! You can give all of those great 2-D girls the happiness that they rightfully deserve! Isn't that right Yokkyun?"
All of the incredible way in which he said those words was somewhat marred by the fact that he was making kissing noises to a somewhat childish drawn on his PFP at the end.
"Still…" Kyon said. "… Take me for example. If you consider my actions so far and the behavior of Haruhi, Nagato and Asahina-san you could say that my life is in the Harem path. Totally ridiculous, isn't that right guys?"
The pitiful way in which all of the Time Support Group looked at him somehow managed to reach that hidden part of Kyon that knew the truth of what was happening.
"It is not true right… That Haruhi, Nagato and Asahina-san are interested in me… is not true… right?"
The silence of his peers gave Kyon all the answers that he needed.
"Oh my God!"
"Did you call me?" Asked Keima.
"Yes?" Said the enigmatic captain while removing a virtual reality helmet that he was using to play virtual Wack-a-Mole.
"It is true that you've escaped to several attempts to your life?... One of them being a firing squad?" Asked Kyon.
"Oh? You've heard about that? It was not such a big deal, really." Said the man with a goofy smile.
"And that you were able to end a war in a decisive battle without any side losing any lives?"
"Uhm…" The enigmatic man used a silly thinking pose at this point. "Yes… I think I did that. But truth to be told, it wasn't only me."
"Really…" The North high student really didn't know what to make of the man in front of him. "… So, what we will be studying today?"
"Uhm…" The Captain of the Soyokase once again used his silly thinking pose. "… I know! Guys, just do anything you want!"
"Anything we want?"
"That's right, anything you want."
"Then Captain…" Said a serious Kyon flanked by all the members of the Time Loop Support Group. "… We want to learn from you."
"It's that what you really want?"
"Good." Said a smiling Tylor. "You should always do what you want. Life is too short to live it under somebody else's rules."
"Ok then…" Said Tylor while standing in front of all of them. "… Let's start…"
"I'm proud of all you." Said Kamina in front of the Time Support Group. "All your teachers had told me how proud are they of the progress that you've made since your arrival here."
"But now the time of your final test has come…" Continued Kamina. "… THEY, are waiting for you. I won't lie to you; they are strong, way stronger than any opponent that you might have faced before. But during your time here you have also grown stronger. Maybe not so much physically but in spirit… you've made real progress."
"Now, I could offer you an easy way out, maybe a reset or two and an end to the loops. But I know that the you of today would reject it." Said Kamina confidently. "And that's what makes me proud. Even so, I think I will give you a small 'advantage' in the situation. It is only fair after all."
"So go my brothers in spirit!" Said Kamina while taking his legendary pose, finger pointing to the sky. "Just remember, do not believe in the people that believe in you… nor do believe in the you that the people believe in… Believe in the you that believe in yourselves!"
"HELL YES!" Was the unanimous exclamation.
"So, go my brothers!" Finished Kamina. "Give them what they deserve…"
"… He is not here…" Said a shaking Nagato while falling on her knees. "… He is not here… He is not here…"
"Kyon-kun…" Said a tear eyed Mikuru while all of the members of the Time Loop Conservation Club reacted in similar ways.
While all of them reacted like that, Suzumiya Haruhi was standing in the middle of the room with the head down and with tears rolling down.
"KYON!!! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!"
"WE ARE OUT HERE HARUHI!"
All of the members of the Time Conservation Club got out of the empty house were the Time Support Group used to have their meetings…
Only to find them standing in the top of a near hill.
"It's them! It's really them!" Said a happy Hermione while performing a spell to recognize the guys.
Several of the girls were so overcome by their emotions of seeing them, just after they thought that had lost them, that they just run and hugged their respective object of affection.
"Uhm… Asahina-san? Nagato?" Asked Kyon to the two girls who were suddenly hugging him.
"Kyon-kun… you are here! For a moment I thought, I thought…" Said in between tears the small time traveler who was hugging him from the front.
"…" The silent alien did not say anything but the way in which he was hugging him from the back left no doubts about her feelings.
"Yare, yare, how could I be so blind?" Said Kyon to himself while looking around and realizing that he wasn't the only one in such a situation.
"Kurosaki-kun…" Said Inoue Orihime while hugging the orange haired shinigami from the front.
"Ichigooo!" Said an adult Nel while hugging the same boy from the back, wile breaking his bones at the same time Kyon thought. But at least Ichigo was not letting it show in his face… mostly…
Harry, Shinji, Naruto… even Spidey were in similar situations with girls from their own universes… well the first 3 were, he was almost sure that Super Girl was not of the same universe as Squirrel-Girl, Gwen Stacy and MJ.
But of course that was nothing compared to…
There were so many girls (of different types too, magical girls, fiancés and martial artists to name a few) on him that there was no sign of the boy. If he hadn't learned to feel people's presence, Kyon would be sure that he wasn't there.
Breaking his thoughts the boy turned to the source of the voice. He could see Haruhi still surrounded by several of the members of the Time Loop Conservation Club that, although visible relieved, they still held their composure.
"So you and your buddies finally decided to appear…" Haruhi was a bundle of emotions right now but she knew that, although relieved to see that Kyon was fine and well, she couldn't drop her guard. Not if she wanted the things that she has been preparing for so long. "Fu, fu, fu, now things will get interesting."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, Kyon, that now I am aware of what you have been trying to hide from me for a long time. It's that the way that you should behave to your brigade chief?"
"It is if said individual is like you."
"Urgh…" Haruhi was surprised. While Kyon had always talked back to her in some way or another this time it was… different. Kyon was… somehow… more confident… stronger… manly…
"But in any case, now that you know everything, what will you do?"
"Isn't it obvious? I'll take what I deserve!" Haruhi was nervous while saying this but she didn't know why. It wasn't because Yuki and Mikuru-chan were still hugging Kyon, she kind of expect that (although it was still annoying). "And I know that you won't be able to stop me!"
"Really…" Kyon had a smile on his face that was really spooking her out… but also made her fell somewhat warm. "Try me…"
"Ah… uhm…" What was wrong with her? What was this feeling? She was only talking to Kyon for god sakes!... She have done this countless of times before! But then… why was she feeling so… scared… and in a good way to boot!
"You know what? You are right Haruhi… It's finally the time that you get… what you deserve…"
Haruhi just gulped.
"It's going better than I expected." Said Kamina while looking the events on the chambers of the God of Space and Time.
"Ku, ku, ku. They have done well." Remarked Kogarashi with a wide smile. "It seems that I won't have to use my 'Super Special Deluxe Maid Guy Love Potion' after all."
"The… what?" Asked a confused Kamina.
"An improvement of my former love potion. It was designed to last for several hours more than my original one! But it seems that we won't need it."
"Who gave you that idea?"
"The brooding guy in the Bat costume… Lousy cape but the mask was nice." Answered the Maid Guy. "Even so, he was always talking about having counter-measures in case the first plan didn't work and that was that gave me the idea. But as I said it seems that it won't be necessary anymore."
"By the way what happened to all those guys?"
"They went back to their respective universes already Kamina-sama." Answered Tobi. "But they said that if you ever need help again you can count with them!"
"Yes. I like those guys!" Said Kogarashi. "It's good to know that there are so many like us in the multiverse!"
"I still think that there isn't anybody like you in the entire universe Kogarashi-san!" Said a hyper Toby.
"Ku, ku. ku. I like you spirit my fellow masked individual. Why don't you come with me and help me with my duties? If you do it well then I will give you a Maid Guy badge."
"Really? Thank you Kogarashi-san!" Said a hyper Tobi while leaving the room with Kogarashi.
"Those 2, they are really something…" Said Kamina after he was left alone in the room. "Now guys, what will you do know?"
Kamina turned when he heard the lock in the door close.
"Hello Kamina…" Said Yoko, accompanied by the other 9 Yokos, after locking the door.
"Uh, well nice to see you but I'm kind of busy…"
"But Kamina… We have been very lonely lately…" Said seductively another Yoko while the rest nodded.
"We wanted… to spend some time with you…" Said another Yoko while licking her lips.
"Yoko, are you all of you all right? Did you eat something that was bad?"
"Eat something… no we just drank a very nice shake that somebody left in the kitchen…"
"A shake in the kitchen?... You don't mean…" Said Kamina while realizing what had happened.
"It was very delicious… but it made us feel a certain heat…" Said another on. "Kamina… help us with this heat…"
Surrounded by 10… 'Disturbed' Yokos Kamina knew that he had to act… and fast. Kogarashi said that the effect would wear off after some hours so if he just avoided them until that happened.
Then he realized that his friends of the Time Support Group were facing a situation just like this… so, what kind of a man would he be if he didn't face the same adversity in the same way as his comrades?
With that, while standing confidently in front of all of the Yokos, he mentally sent a message to them…
"Let's go… Brothers…"