The Axel Effect
Once he'd returned to the castle and brought everything in from the car, he gratefully flopped down a couch. Luxord and Zexion were again back to playing poker (same game from when they'd left ((picking up where they left off when Saix left the room)) and neither had gained any leverage on the other still. Why didn't Luxord just find someone else to play with?
He spotted Demyx in an armchair in a corner, him being antisocial for once. For some reason, Axel felt that he was to blame for it. He went over to the guy and sat down.
"Er…about this morning…" He began.
"No, it's alright," Demyx said, cutting him off. "I wish I'd gone shopping with you instead of going to Castle Oblivion. How the hell do you stand Marluxia?! She—He—It is so annoying!" Demyx launched into an explanation of what had happened during his short stint at the castle, portraying Marluxia's voice as high pitched and whiny.
"In short, I never want to go back there. I'll take shopping duty any day," he finished.
"Yeah, you say that," Axel said. "But I had the weirdest thing happen while I was there! Everyone I saw wanted to attack me! The guys looked like they wanted to beat the snot out of me and the women…um, Demyx? Are you okay?"
Demyx had set aside his sitar and seemed to be listening rapturously to his story. But…he was leaning a bit close and was sniffing him. His morning bath hadn't worn off that quickly, had it? No, no…well, maybe he was trying to smell the cologne too. Axel reached into the one bag he'd brought into the room with him and showed it to him.
"What you smell might be this," Axel said and held it up. Demyx quietly took the can, looking over it. Then he smelled the can. Something in his eyes changed and his pupils grew wider, dilated. Before Axel could do anything, he jumped on him, pushing him back in the armchair.
"Uh, hey, if you wanted a hug, that's all you had to say," Axel tried to joke. Demyx wasn't joking. The others in the room turned to look at them. Help me!!! Axel silently screamed. The others gathered around, but none looked like they were coming to assist him.
"Dem, you don't want to do this!" He tried to reason. "You're not yourself! Besides, aren't you already with someone?"
"No," Demyx said gruffly, ripping the sunglasses from his hair and throwing them so hard against a wall, they smashed. Against his will, Axel began to tremble. What the hell was it that caused these people to have such brute strength?!
"Hey, look, how about I just give you some pictures of me, eh? I used to do a bit of modeling, you can have my entire portfolio if you'd like!" Just please don't rape me! To think, Demyx of all people!
"I'll pass," Demyx said, trailing a finger down his face. Axel's heart stopped. If push came to shove, would he have to melt Demyx's face off? He clenched a fist, feeling the fire built up in it. Every man for their self, he'd said earlier. Well, now was the time to enact on that.
But before Demyx could release one of the buttons on his shirt that he'd been playing with, a ferocious growl was heard across the room. Axel tried to turn to see who it was, but they had moved. Again using unnatural speeds, the object bounded over to them.
Demyx was shoved off of him and smashed against the back glass wall. At least it was reinforced or else he would've shattered it and fallen from a height of about eight stories high.
With the man off of him, Axel could focus on his savior. Now, who was he to thank…Roxas!
"Hey lil' buddy," he greeted him. But Roxas wasn't listening. He grabbed his arm and pulled him off the chair, dragging him along multiple corridors until they reached what seemed a random room. Roxas shoved him in, did a quick glance around to make sure they hadn't been followed, then closed and locked the door behind them.
Axel was happy for the rescue only for a moment. His eyes took in the room with disbelief. He'd dragged him to his bedroom! No, not Roxas too!! The one person he could always count on!
"Sit," Roxas said, kicking out a chair from his desk. He himself sat on the bed at the headboard. He grabbed a pillow and put half his face in it. Without questioning his authority, Axel sat.
"Axel, what is it that you are wearing?" Roxas asked him in a muffled voice.
"Um…let's see, this black collared shirt…jeans…I forget what brand they are—"
"No, I mean outside of that. What soap, after shave, things like that."
"Heh, aftershave? How old do you think I am?! Anyways, I don't use anything too pricey I guess. Um…what does that have to do with anything?"
Roxas narrowed his eyes at him. "Whatever you have on you is the cause of the attacks."
"Well, besides the clothes, I didn't put on anything that I normally don't wear."
The boy actually snorted. "Pfft, you keep saying that! But you seem to have everyone you come across either wanting to bang your brains out or bash your brains out."
Eewww…Roxas! Watch the terminology! "Uh-huh…right." Axel pondered the question some more. "Well…I did accidently spray myself with a bit too much of this stuff here." He tossed the can to Roxas. He only looked at it, then chucked it across the room.
"I think we've found our problem then," he told his friend. "You have triggered…the Axe Effect."
Axel's face twitched. His mouth quirked up and before he could hold it back, he was doubled over with laughter. "Oh man, you've gotta be kidding me! The Axe Effect?! Like the commercials?! Ha! You know, I thought it was kinda funny to wear Axe since my name is Axel, but this is just too much!"
"I'm serious!" Roxas shouted. "Explain all the women that want to jump you and the guys that want to beat the living daylights out of you."
Axel sobered up a bit. "Alright, oh wise one, let's just say that that is the issue. What about Demyx? And I don't remember any other guys being in those commercials besides the one being attacked."
Roxas shoved his face in the pillow even further. Whether he was trying to not smell him or was about to say something embarrassing, Axel couldn't tell. "The effect works on a person however their orientation is. If they're not into the one that's wearing the spray, then they want to kill them for taking potential, er, suitors away from them. That's why most men were glaring at you. As for Demyx, well…in short, I don't think he's into girls."
This time when Axel's face twitched, it was out of agitation. This was some serious TMI but unfortunately it needed to be said to explain some things. Then an idea came to him. How many of the people in the Organization were in the closet? He snickered at the idea of finding out.
"Look, the solution to this is simple," Roxas said. "Just take another shower."
Axel's shoulders fell. "What? That's it? No cool potion to take, no spells, nothing? Just take a regular, everyday shower?!"
"Well, yeah. I mean, they're reacting to the cologne so just wash it off. Nothing to it."
Axel scoffed. "Well that just sucks! I thought I'd gained the power to control people or something! And here all along it was just the stupid spray! I want my money back!"
Grudgingly, Axel took another shower, which indeed did stop all the pandemonium from happening (at least the other Org members hadn't gotten a chance to attack him too, for whatever reasons they might've had). Demyx didn't remember anything that had happened after he woke back up from his concussion and neither did the other members in the room. Or maybe they were trying to put it behind them. Nice choice.
But Axel kept that can of Axe. Sure, wearing it would mean being tackled like a ragdoll by everyone he crossed paths with but once washed off, it erased memories of what happened in that time frame. Now that was a powerful weapon!
So who would be his first target? Decisions, decisions…
Hope you guys liked it, ^_^