Okay, this may be a one shot.. it may have more.. I dunno, it just started writing itself a couple of weeks ago and didn't lemme go till I was done. I was gonna put it in 'Slashy Fun', but I still would like to keep that one as.. (searches for word...fails) well, 'fun' as possible. Matt told Jeff his darkest secret, and Jeff broke his heart. Now all Matt has left is Adam to comfort him. Adam/Matt. Yes, Matt bottoms. But, it's really fluffy and sweet. (gasp) It's always someone taking care of Jeff.. I've yet again broke rules. This first scene is fluffy, sorta angsty, not rough or demented (which is weird for this pair w/ me-- b/c usually it's Matt maiming Adam) Sex, language, AU, OOC, and hurt/comfort so far.. if it does go any further.. possible Hardedge as usual :P Note; Matt/Amy/Adam did NOT happen here. So no Edge hate.
Chapter one/ 'Shattered'
Rated; M/ L, S (loads of kisses, oral, fingering, anal)
I wanna watch him break. Break into a million pieces. I wanna watch him hurt and ache all over. He's always the strong one, always so dominant. I wanna watch him just once be vulnerable. He's hurting inside, I can tell he is. I can see it in those beautiful brown eyes as they stare back at me. He's not looking at me though.. he sees right through me to him.. Matt was shattered today, and he doesn't know how to deal with it no more. Matt cracked today.. but, he refuses to completely break.. and he refuses to let me help him. So beautifully stubborn.
I want him to let go. He's always the one who holds everything together. It was his job for years to be the stronghold for his family.. for Jeff.. And now, what's the point? Matt made a huge decision. He told his brother the truth. He finally told Jeff how he felt.. how he's always felt. Spilled his heart. See, Matt fell in love with the ingrate. Started to have feelings for him that he couldn't explain. They're brothers, it should be wrong. It should warrant them being outcast, or at least in Matt's case.. But, I never saw it that way. Love is selfish and cupid doesn't care who he aims his arrow at, when you're hit.. you're hit and there's nothing you can do. Love is never wrong. It just hurts like a mother fucking bitch when it's not reciprocated.
I study him. His long dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, all messy from his match and he hasn't fixed it yet. His dark eyes staring longingly past me. Filled with desire and lust that he'll never satisfy. There's this look on face that tells the world he made a fool of himself. Jeff told Matt he was sick in the head. Jeff loved him but he didn't love him like that. The worst was Jeff said 'loved', as in past tense. Jeff told Matt that he needed help and he didn't feel comfortable being around Matt anymore, to leave him alone until he got help. Jeff walked out on him, after all Matt had did and sacrificed for the little shit.
Jeff makes me fucking angry, he really does. The shitty part is the little snot has been closer than a brother to me. He even made a move on me one night. He was drunk and horny and I knew how Matt felt, so I pushed him aside and let him eventually pass on out and forget all about it. Jeff will never know how fucking lucky he is to have the love and the loyalty of this man. I'd give anything if it was directed at me. Jeff makes me so fucking angry. It makes me wanna go find the little shit and drag his ass back here... I stop. Not going to finish that statement.
I look back at him, Matt closes his eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes. I want to see them break. I want them to flood for me. On the outside Matt looks like he's ready to take on the world. So dominating and brooding. No one wants to mess with Jeff's older brother because Matt will fucking hurt you... but, those eyes tell the truth. Matt's lips lie. Matt's face lies. Matt's body lies. Matt's mouth lies, and so does his heart at times. But, Matt's eyes never do. They're hurt and pained. They're needy and soulful. They want to be loved and they deserve it.
"Adam.. I screwed up.. I should'a nev'r told him, how I felt.. I knew he'd react that way.. Why shouldn't he react that way..? I'm his brother.. It's sick of me to feel that way about him.. It's wrong.." Matt trailed off.. and there it is.. Tears welling in the corners of those eyes. Let them fall, Matty.. let them break..
Matt choked back a sob.. This is what he needs.. to feel it.. to let it hurt. Whether he wants to or not. His chin is quivering a bit now.. and he brings his hands up to rub over his face to stop it.
"So stupid.. I shouldn't have.. Jeff will never forgive me.. I've lost him now forever.. I couldn't just be happy having him as a brother.. and now he's gone.." And there it is. Matt gasps and I hear him breaking.
I slowly move down into the floor. I feel like a predator, feeding off his pain.. but it's so tragic.. and so sad and alluring and I just want to taste it.. I am on my knees in front of the bed as he sits on the edge of the bottom of the bed. His head is buried in his hands as he cries.. softly at first.. then harder.. He's crumbling beautifully.. But, I can't see those eyes.
"Matt.. Matt, come on.. It was a big risk.. and maybe it didn't pay off.. but, it had to be done.. You couldn't go on forever not knowing." I calmly say, reaching up and gently taking his hands down from his face. There they are, there's my eyes.. so hurt and dark.. so longing.. wet with tears as they break..
Matt blinks, sending even more tears running down his wet cheeks. His eyes are turning a bit red now, clashing beautifully with the brown... so gorgeous..
"I fucked up.. Adam.. what do I do? I can't.. I can't live without him.." Matt sniffled, looking away from me and shaking his head as more tears impose their will through those eyes.
I reach up to him, softly tracing my thumb on his cheek and wiping away the tears. Love is always enough to break anyone. Love will make someone happy turn into a tragedy..
"Shh.. it's okay.." I coo, taking his head gently in my hands and caressing his cheeks with my thumbs. If Matt knows what I'm doing, he's ignoring it.
"It won't be okay." Matt snaps through clinched teeth, bursting into tears again. His eyes shut tightly.
"Oh, my Matty.. if Jeff doesn't want you.. it's his loss.." I say, reaching around to take that damn ponytail down and set his hair free.
"No.. Jeff's right.. I'm sick.. I need help.. who wants to be with their brother? Who wants to do things to their brother that I wanted to do to Jeff?" Matt lets out a strangled sob and re-clinches his teeth. "Only sick people, that's who."
I listen to him, shaking my head as my fingers file through his hair, petting him and just enjoying the feel of him. I want him. He'll be mine tonight. I'm tired of waiting. I waited because Matt loved Jeff.. and Jeff lost his chance.
"You're not sick, Matty.. Jeff.. he's the one who's sick.. He'd have to be to not want you.." I reply, leaning up to him.
Matt closes his eyes and turns his head from me. "No.. no.."
"Shh.. Let me take care of you. I'll always take care of you.." I whisper softly, shifting his legs apart and setting myself in between them better. I take his head in my hands, studying him over. Looking at those lips, so full and pouty. They look so good, blushed red and aroused from crying. They look so tempting. Lightly I run my thumb across them, tracing the shape of the top and then the bottom.
"Adam.. please, it hurts.. make it go away." The younger male murmurs.
I smile at him, those beautiful brown eyes open, wet and stained with tears. I'm so angry with Jeff right now. I want to make him pay for this. For what he's done.
"You have to let me, baby." I reply, gently caressing his cheeks with my thumbs. "Will you let me?"
Matt takes a deep breath and nods. I can feel his heart in his chest. Thumping wildly, his breathing is deep. I know how he feels. He feels like he's about to die. Love does that shit to people. Tears them down. Breaks them. Slowly I lean up to him. Up to those lips as I brush my own across them lightly. Pecking him ever so gently. Matt's eyes are half lidded. He remains still, not pulling away at least. I ghost my lips over his again, pecking him softly before parting my lips and letting the tip of my tongue lightly lick at them. Matt lets out a sharp breath and I resist the urge to smile. I peck him again and on the next time I linger. Pressing my lips to his and kissing him. Softly. Carefully. I feel Matt's lips slightly part. Opening for me to deepen it. Those lips. Those beautiful lips. They feel so good. And to finally have them.. that feels wonderful.
I feel Matt's fingertips touch to my sleeve very cautiously. He wants to. I know he does. Finally I feel his hands rest on my shoulders. Lightly. Like they'll surely move if I do. I trace my tongue along the bottom of his lips. Trailing teasingly along the soft flesh before slipping just the tip inside. Matt whimpers. His body freezes up for a mere second before he melts for me. I need him to melt. I need him to crumble. I pull back, still caressing his face and looking him over. His breathing is slightly hitched in early arousal. His lips close slowly and that's when I peck him again.
"Ad..am.." He murmurs. And I smile.
"Shh.. you're gonna be okay.." I watch him as I let his face go, reaching down to undo his belt, setting the loose ends aside before popping the button. Matt stares forward. He's probably unsure. Timidly he looks down at me and our eyes meet. "I'm going to take care of you.. I promise.."
I get the zipper down and Matt tenses up again. He holds his breathe.. but releases it slowly before biting on his bottom lip. I slip my fingers down in the waist band of Matt's underwear, pulling on them and teasing to pull them down. Instead I stand up, watching those beautiful eyes curiously follow me as I discard my shirt. Matt takes a breath, it catches in his throat and he redirects those eyes. I almost feel as if I'm taking advantage of him tonight.. but, I don't care. He's mine tonight. I've waited too long. Sacrificed too much of my heart. I need him.. he needs me.
Matt slips out of his own shirt casually. There's still this unsureness to him.. But, after what he's been through, I wouldn't expect none less. I take a minute, taking him in. The dark tanned skin, the definition in his muscles. The scars his body has to show for a lifetime of hard work. A debt overpaid to this business of ours. I place my hands on his shoulders, letting them trail lightly down his arms and skipping over to his chest. Matt flinches just a bit as I graze across his nipples. They harden up at my touch as chill bumps become evident on his flesh. My hands travel back up to his shoulders and over to his back. His skin feels so good.. so warm and taut.. yet so soft. Matt's almost stone-like, his arms flinching in trying to decide to reach up and wrap around me or not. I answer for him by pulling away.
Matt swallows, gazing up at me. I answer again by picking him up under his back and legs, carrying him over to the bed so I can lay him down right. I want him comfortable. I want him to feel good. He's been hurt enough tonight. I finally have him. He's all mine now. I'll not do anything to make him run. I lean down to him, brushing my lips across his skin, stopping to peck him softly as he reaches up to me. Timidly at first, then slowly wrapping his arms loosely around my neck. I hear Matt groan softly as I kiss his neck and I couldn't help my cock twitching. Matt whimpers sweetly as my lips touch to his collarbone. It's the most beautiful sound I have ever heard in my life. I want more of those sounds, and I know just how to get them. Matt's hands relocate to my shoulders as I make my way down his chest, stopping to flick the tip of my tongue across his hardened nipple. Getting another whimper. So I brave it. I let my hand trail down his abdomen and to his crotch, pushing his unzipped jeans and underwear away from his skin and slipping my hand down inside. I hiss as Matt's nails dig into my shoulders when I find him. It doesn't bother me. I kind of like it. I want more of it. I press my lips to the other nipple, sucking gently as I take hold of his cock. Loving how it stiffens under my sudden touch. So quickly, so naturally.
"Oh, god, Adam.. uhm.." Matt murmurs as he arches up, trying to get more of my hand. But, I stroke him gently. Softly.
"That feel good.. you like that?" I pant, taking my lips of his nipple. I gaze up at him. Matt's eyes flutter, reopening as he swallows. I see him nod as he arches his hips again.
"Uh-huh.. please.. harder.."
I smirk at him, gaining a groan as I go back to kissing his chest, moving down his stomach and stopping to flick my tongue across his navel. I retract my hand. Raising up and grabbing hold of the jeans to yank them on off. Matt's hands grab at me, his eyes looking up at me lustfully. I have him needing. Wanting. I rub my hands up his thighs, using the right to paw at his erection through the thin material of his boxers. They are the next to go as I slowly peel them down, licking my lips as Matt's cock springs free of them. He's so fucking beautiful. And I find myself suddenly hungry even more for him. Especially with that little bit of precum that glistens just on the tip, taunting me. Matt watches me as I set myself between his legs, spreading them out some. He shudders as my fingertips dance up his inner thigh, right over to his cock, taking hold of him firmly. I lick across the tip very slowly. Folding my tongue back inside my mouth and tasting him. And he tastes like heaven. So sweet and delicious. Tormented and broken.. yet, strong and determined. He is of innocence and of youth.. yet of vengeance and of weary.
I resist the urge to raise my eyes to his as he moans. I can imagine the shape of his lips. Curled up at the corners in his pleasure. Fuck, it's tempting. But, I keep my eyes trained low. Sticking my tongue back out to lick across the tip again before dragging it along the head. Matt arches up, pleadingly. Needfully. I let him. He's so enticing when in want. His voice so desperate and strained by lust. My tongue swirls around his swollen head before I press my lips to the tip. Kissing it softly before letting my lips mold over just the head. Matt groans, his breathing labored and deep. And his fingers ever so cautiously going to my hair. I ignore the chill that goes down my spine as I feel him gently carding his fingers in my long locks. So soft. So naive.
Matt bucks, letting a guttural groan escape him as I begin to suck. My tongue lightly massaging the underside. He tastes amazing. So tantalizing. I want more and more and more. I want to taste more of him. I wanna drink him until there is nothing left.
"Uhm.. uhm.. Adam.. ohm.. please.. harder.. uhm.. so good.." He murmurs, getting brave enough to use words.
I take a little more of him in, sliding my lips a bit down his hard shaft, still suckling the brunette like he's the sweetest piece of fruit I have ever eaten. I let my hands and fingers dance along his thighs and legs. Making chill bumps pop up across his tanned flesh. My other hand still lightly holds the base of Matt's cock, stroking him softly every once and awhile. I stop and remove my lips, lightly breathing on his wet cock head. Matt shudders and whimpers so sweetly under the sensation. I wet my lips, tasting him on them before engulfing him as far as I could get him. Matt arches upward, impaling me. But, I don't mind. I like how his cock chokes me. I like how he gags me as he hits the back of my throat. I growl lustfully, relaxing my throat and swallowing around his dick before sucking as hard as I can. Matt yells out, his fingers tangling and twisting tighter in my hair as he yanks it. Matt is writhing. Moaning carelessly as he loses himself in sheer pleasure. I don't let up, still sucking him hungrily as I begin to mouth fuck him. His cock feels so fucking good as my lips slide up and down his shaft.
"Adam.. oh, god.. uhm.. shit.. Adam.. mhmmm.. fuck.." Matt gasps, yelling as he cums.
And I taste him as I start swallowing repeatedly. Greedily. Wanting to get every last drop of him. He's too fucking good to waste. I pull my lips off, licking up the side of his cock and across the head. Making sure I get all I've left behind. I take him back in, sucking a bit. I smile inwardly as I feel him getting stiff again under my tongue.
I raise up, licking my lips and looking down at him. My own pants have grown much tighter. I'm as hard as I've ever been in my life, and that's no exaggeration. But, I've ignored that. My Matty was first and foremost tonight. Matt is panting deeply, his dark, deep brown orbs staring up at me expectantly. Eagerly. There's this glimmer of lust and want that shines back from them that has me haunted.
"Adam.. please.. hurts.. make it go away.." He murmurs softly.
I take a deep breath, swallowing thickly as I scan him over.
"You sure, Matty..?" I ask, panting.
Matt nods, his chocolate eyes locked on me. I'm so trapped in them. And that's where I want to be. Where I want to stay forever.
"Just a second, love." I smile, pecking him gently on the tummy as I get up.
Matt watches me curiously as I rid myself of my jeans before going to my duffel bag. It takes me two seconds of shifting through it to find the lubrication and then the underwear goes and I am back to my desire in a heartbeat. I let my hands run up his chest, feeling it rise and fall under his breaths. So strong, yet so used. Mistreated and abandoned. It'd have to be a sin to hurt a man so damn beautiful. On the inside and out. I lean down, crashing out lips together, kissing him so passionately. So deeply and lovingly. I don't want to stop. I take this time to blindly pop the top on the tube. Still pecking Matt's soft lips lightly as I get a generous amount of the lube onto my fingers. I rub them together, warming it up before moving them down to his entrance. Spreading his legs apart some. Matt whimpers as my fingers touch to his entrance.
"Shh.. it's okay, I'll be careful. I'll take care of you, always." I purr, kissing him on the neck.
Matt groans softly, wincing as I push two fingers past his pucker. I find another spot and kiss there as I wait. Letting my lips graze his skin lightly.
"Shh.. that's it.. you're so beautiful.. so beautiful, Matty.." I coo, gazing into those soulful, lost and scared eyes. So curious and full of wonder. I press my lips to his again, swallowing his groans as I slip my fingers all the way inside of him. He gasps, almost losing his breath as he tightens up around my fingers. It's then I realize; this is his first. I'm his first. Those eyes look up at me, moistening a bit.. discomforted.
"I.. wa..was.. waiting.. wai.." He trails off as the words catch in his throat.
I shush him and kiss him softly. "You'll be okay.. I promise.. I won't hurt you.."
I keep kissing him, nibbling gently on his neck as I snake my hand between us, wrapping fingers around his cock and stroking him. Softly at first, then more firmly as he hardens up. Matt lets out a whimpered whine, panting softly. I feel his body relax completely. I slowly slide my fingers almost all the way out before pushing them back in, gently, tentatively at first, letting him adjust. Matt's kissing me back down, reaching up to hold to the back of my head as he arches a bit into my hand and fingers. I'm fingering him a little harder now. Moving the digits in and out of him with more ease. Matt's purring almost under my kisses. Matt turns his head, licking his lips as he stares back at me.
"Adam.. please.. want you.. uhm.. in me.. please.." He pants through short little gasps.
How long I have dreamed about him wanting me. About making love to him. I kiss him again as I withdraw my fingers and raise up, applying some of the lubrication to myself before maneuvering his legs on apart some. My left hand finds his cock again, rubbing him slowly to keep him relaxed as I position myself at his pucker. I push past slowly, feeling Matt tense up a bit.
"Loosen up, love.. It won't hurt as much if you relax.. Oh, you're going to feel so wonderful.." I purr rubbing across the head of his cock and back down the shaft as wait for him to relax. To melt.
Matt lets out a shaky breath, his muscles easing up. I trace my fingers along his cock as I push the rest of inside. Matt winces, groaning deeply in pain. I hold still, thinking I'm going to fucking explode. He's so tight and warm.. he feels as amazing as I always thought he would. I let out a breath as I scan his features. His face is twisted in discomfort, his lips curling up at the side with every moan. I release my own cock, placing my hand on Matt's stomach and rubbing across his tummy as I whisper little shushes to him. Matt lets out a breath followed by a strangled whimper. He locks his eyes on mine. Those brown eyes glistening with tears. I lean down to him, scooping him up and holding him as I place feather-light kisses on his neck and face.
"You're okay.. you're okay.. The pain will go away.. Just relax.. You feel so good, Matty.. so incredible.." I mold my lips to his, sliding my tongue past his lips and kissing him deeply.
Matt breaks the kiss. "Go.. go slow.. please.. move.."
I nod and let my lips go to his neck, feeling Matt bury his face in the crook of mine as I begin to thrust. Matt lets out a pained whimper, his arms wrapping around me and his nails digging into my back and shoulders. It sends a tingle through me that makes me want to pound him harder. But, I keep my pace. I aim at his prostate, missing once before I hit it. Matt arches up to me, his teeth sinking down into my neck hard. I wince, groaning as I feel him licking the place apologetically.
But, I don't care. He could burn me if he wanted to. Physical pain means shit to me. I know real pain, and he's laying under me. He's made my heart wrench, bleed, ache and pound at alarming rates. He means everything to me, and in our most intimate of times, I'd kill to be able to tell him. But, I keep silent. Just softly groaning and whispering to him. Kissing his neck and face and taking in the scent of his skin as our bodies come together in perfect harmony.
"Please.. Ad..am.. go a little.. uhmm.. a little harder.. please.." The brunette angel pleads.
I shift my legs apart plunging into him a little harder. He cries out, holding to me tighter. I stab at his prostate, hitting it a couple of times right in a row.
"Oh, god.. Ad..uhm.. Adam.. uhm.. oh, shit.. shit.. mhmm.." Matt bites his lip, trying to hold himself together.
"That's it, Matty.." I groan, taking his cock in my hand, rubbing him in time with my thrusts. "Just let go, baby.. Let me feel you.. Let me feel you let go for me.."
Matt closes his eyes tightly, small whimpers and whines escaping his lips. I get his hidden button again, stroking him harder. Matt yells as he cums for me. His body shuddering and quivering so beautifully as he rides out his climax. He's groaning so softly. Panting in sweet release. I use my free hand to pet his hair from his face, leaning down to nibble and gently suck on his neck. Loving the way he feels as he tightens and relaxes around my width.
"That's it.. so beautiful when you cum.. Uhm.. Matty.. Oh, Matt.." I moan as I cum deep inside him. Taking hold of his face as I kiss him softly everywhere I can. His lips, his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, his eyes.
Matt swallows thickly, collapsing back onto the pillows and resting. I give him one final thrust before stopping and resting on top of him as our bodies cool. I raise up and peck his lips again before slowly easing out of him. I help Matt roll to his side as I pull back the covers, laying behind him and spooning him comfortably as I cover us back up. My arms wrap protectively around Matt's waist as I hold to him. Feeling our heart beats and breathing as if it's one. I lay there for a moment. My head nuzzling in Matt's back.
All that matters to me is right in this room. I don't need no more as long as I have this.. but, it may not last. I listen to the silence. Hearing the soft sounds of breathing and light purring. I lean over my angel's shoulder. Matt's asleep soundly. Lost in the dream world. His lips curling into a sweet smile. I can only hope that he's dreaming about me. My heart breaks, wrenching tightly in my chest. I know this probably didn't change anything. I know Matt still loves Jeff. He can't change that. And he can't help how he feels. Just like neither can I. Matt lets out a tired whimper in his sleep. Grabbing onto my hand as he snuggles back into me. I smile down at my beautiful angel. Kissing him very softly on the temple.
"I love you, Matty." I whisper, nuzzling my head back against his shoulder blades as I follow him.
Damn, I've loved this one. Hey, I bottomed Matthew and it wasn't rape or maiming! It was sweet and loving. Did I do alright? (bites lip ) And sorry to make Jeff seem like a jackass. I love little Jeffy and Hardycest and I dunno where this came from. It just started writing itself and then it continued writing itself, so it must'a wanted to exist. Lovely little Matam hurt/comfort and (gasp) Adam didn't obsessively love Jeff! Matt/Amy/Adam-- didn't happen here. And they're buddies. Everyone else is as usually with me, gay.. or in the closet gay, lol.
And this isn't a Jeff Hate fic. Nope. Never. In fact, my Jeffy muse approves, and even though I have no clue if this will go anywhere, or very far if it does.. but, I think my Jeff muse has some evil intentions in that demented head of his (winces) He really loves torturing the two he lurvs most :P I'm also aware that Matt seemed OOC. Yeah, I dun care. I'm getting lured in by fics where the darker Hardy is in sweet turmoil.