Hey guys, this is my first ever fan fic and I'm gonna be slow on updating but I hope you all like it

It had been three weeks. He wasn't coming back, for that I was sure. But what was I going to do I couldn't live without him, he was my life. I continued to stare out of my bedroom window, the one he used to use frequently as a door. The one I longed him to climb through and hold me. Charlie was struggling, I hated him to see me like this but what was I going to do, I couldn't just pretend that the person that kept me alive wasn't gone, that it didn't hurt me like it does. I had spent the last three weeks in depression, never leaving my room, never talking, and never sleeping. Charlie didn't know what to do; I knew he was debating whether to send me back to phoenix. But I would never leave; I was closer to him here. I think I have the flu though; I've been throwing up every morning for the past week. It was driving me crazy. I couldn't keep a single thing down anymore, not that I was trying too. I sighed and climbed out the bed. I was going to have to leave my room soon, I'd only left to go to the bathroom, and Charlie bought me my meals. I walked into the bathroom and looked at the mirror. I grimaced, I had changed so much. My hair hung limply and I had bags under my eyes. My face looked lifeless, just a pale white, showing no emotion, my eyes were empty and red-rimmed from all the crying. I stripped down and climbed into the shower, I turned the water up so it was scalding my body. It calmed me. I washed my hair and my body and climbed out, my skin red raw from the heat. Suddenly I felt it again. I bolted to the toilet and emptied my guts into the bowl. I wiped my mouth and flushed the chain. I slowly got to my feet, slightly shaking. I walked over to my closet and pulled out my usual attire, jeans and a t-shirt, covered with a baggy hoodie. I put on my black converse and slipped out my bedroom door. I pulled the hood up round my face and silently crept downstairs. Charlie was out, that was good. I walked swiftly out the door and into the forest. I made my way to where I wanted to go and got here quickly. I lay down on the grass the flowers of the meadow around me. My head spun with the memories of him and the time we spent here. Our meadow. I curled up into a ball and began to cry, heart-wrenching sobs that echoed off the trees. I slowly fell asleep, my tear stained face buried into my knees. I dreamt of out last night together, the most magical night of my life. It was my best memory of him and me. It took so much effort, but I did it. I got what I wanted. I broke his barriers down.


"Edward please!" I begged. We were sitting on my bed in my small bedroom. It was dark out but the lamp lit the room, sending a soft glow of light bouncing off the walls. Edward sat across from me, a pained expression on his face.

"Bella, I could hurt you! Don't you get that?" He said slowly, the anger evident in his eyes.

"Edward every girls first time hurts, don't you get that. It doesn't matter, it's not like you're a vampire and your gonna kill me!"

"Bella…" he said.

"Edward, please. This is all I want, you're all I want" I whispered, taking his hand in mine.

Love replaced the anger in his eyes and I knew I had won, finally. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He deepened the kiss and pulled me onto his lap. I wrapped my hands around his neck and buried them in his luscious hair. I tugged on his little tufts of bronze and the base of his neck and he groaned. He traced the shape of my lip, asking for entrance. He never had to ask. I gave him permission and opened by mouth. His tongue slipped in and battled with mine for dominance. I bought my hands to the front of his shirt and began to unbutton it, scared he would stop me, and he never did. I threw his shirt to the ground and ran my hands over his perfectly chiselled chest. He let out a shaky moan as he began to pull my shirt over my head.

*End Flashback*

That night was when I lost my virginity to Edward Cullen. It was the best night of my life, and it was the biggest mistake I have ever made.

I walked swiftly down the stairs and out the front door into the cold morning air. Charlie was at work so I could do what I wanted. I jumped into my truck and drove towards the co-op. It was while walking down one of the aisles that I saw them. The things that made my heart stop. I picked up a box of tampons and just stared at them stupidly. It took me some time before I thought a coherent thought. My period is two weeks late. This can't be happening. I can't be pregnant! Can I? I dropped everything in my hands and ran out of the shop and to the nearest drug store. I grabbed the little box paid for it and left.

I ran my hands shakily through my hair, slowly counting down the seconds to the news that could possibly ruin my life.





The time just wasn't passing quick enough. What was I going to do if this thing told me I was pregnant? The child could only be Edwards! What was I going to do then? I would be a single mum with a new born child, who had no father.








I leapt up from the toilet seat and bolted to the windowsill on which I had placed the test. I glanced at it and felt myself go dizzy. The last thoughts that went through my head before I fainted were. What now?

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