"MAX IS PREGNANT!" shouted three very surprised, very mortified bird kids.
"Shhhhhhh!" I said, trying to keep them from waking Max up. (She conked out after she ate her weird creation.) "She's not actually pregnant, she's just...Nudge, you read those journals, what exactly is going on?" I asked. Nudge has a tendency run her mouth, so we'd probably get all caught up in no time.
"Well, I don't really understand most of it, but it looks like Max is going to be acting just like if she really is pregnant. You know; weird cravings (or at least weirder than normal), mood swings, being tired a lot, stuff like that."
"So she'll be experiencing all the symptom without actually being pregnant," Iggy asked.
"Why would anybody want to do that?!" The Gasman gaped.
"Does it really matter right now?" I snapped. I turned back to Nudge, "Did it say anything about how long this thing last, or even if it goes away at all?"
"I'm not sure," she said uncertainly, "I think so. I don't really remember."
"Well, look into it," I delegated. "The rest of us are going to help Max in any way we can." I let out a huge sigh, "Something tells me this isn't going to get easier."
"So what so we do?" Angel asked.
"Faaaaaaaaang!" Max called.
I swear, she tries to give me another insane grocery list...
"Yeah," I said as I walked up to the tree she had now taken residence by, trying not to sound frustrated or annoyed.
"Could you sit with me for a while?"
It was getting harder.
"Sure, why note?" I said, seating myself down next to her. "Did you want to talk about something?"
"No," she said, "I just wanted to spend some time with you."
"Oh." Well, this was going to be exciting.
"It just seems like we're always doing something nowadays, like we never have time to just sit down and relax. I mean, we're always either trying to destroy Itex or are on the run from it. Don't you just feel like it would be great to pick someplace and just stay there?" Wait, did she mean...
"Max, didn't you say it was a bad idea to do that when I asked that?"
"I know, but a girl can change her mind, right?"
"I guess so," I said. "I guess you just never seemed that girly."
In retrospect, I really shouldn't have said that.
"Oh, so now I'm not a girl anymore?"
"Yeah. Wait, no!" I said, unsure of what I just did. "I didn't mean it like that."
"Really," she said incredulously, "then how did you mean it?"
Boy, was I in a rut.
"I'm not quite sure I should answer that," I said slowly.
"That's fine then," she began. "No, it's totally fine. I mean, why should you have to answer any of my questions? It's not like I save the world every frickin' day!" She stood up at this point. "I'm on the run from the supreme-est of the supreme weirdos, I fight freaking mutant wolf-men for crying out loud! Why should I have a simple courtesy like that?!"
Yeah, this was going well.
"Max, I didn't mean-" I said, trying to console her.
She slapped me.
She really slapped me, right across the face.
For a moment both of us just stood there; me looking stunned and Max looking angry.
"Just go," she said finally, tears falling down her cheeks, "leave me alone."
Then she took off through the forest, running as fast as she could.
"Max!" I shouted, but to no avail.
Suddenly I heard Nudge running up and shouting "Max, Fang!"
"What is it?" I asked as burst into the small clearing.
"Our worries are over! Apparently the serum (or whatever the stuff in the dart was) isn't permanent! Here, look," she held the laptop out of me to see, "it says right here it only lasts for about twenty-four hours, so Max should be all better by tomorrow! By the way," she looked around, "where is Max?"
"She just ran off in that direction," I said, pointing in the general direction Max went. I grinned sheepishly, "I think I might have made her made at me, but never mind that. Go get Iggy and tell him to meet me in the air right now." Max would probably be balling her eyes out by now, and Iggy had better ears than all of us. Even a bats'.
At least that's what he bragged all the time.
"OK," she said, folding the laptop under her arm and dashing off to where Iggy was, shouting his name.
One of these day either me or Max would have to have a talk with her about volumn.
A minute later me and Iggy were up in the air, frantically looking for the unstable (kind of) pregnant girl.
Later that night we were all sitting around a fire eating s'mores. I was telling everyone what had happened with Max earlier.
Actually, Iggy was doing most of the telling.
"...So then we flew over half the valley before we found her sitting underneath this little waterfall. And she was just sitting there, water pouring down on her!"
"Seriously?" Gazzy asked, wide-eyed.
"Yeah, and then Fang actually went underneath to try and get her out!"
"Anyways," I interrupted, "I apologized for whatever I might have done or said that might have offended her." Max glanced at me lovingly.
"And it was very sweet he did too," she said, taking a bite out of her salsa covered s'more.
We all gagged as she did, but then we put it out of mind and continued the conversation.
"I'm just glad that Max won't be pregnant for much longer," Nudge said, "my arms are like, super sore from carrying all those grocery bags."
Everyone laughed at that.
"I'm glad this won't last much longer either," Max said. "Now that I thing about it, it was awful to suddenly wake up and find out I was going to give birth. I don't think I could handle it just yet."
"That's to bad," Angel sighed, "I was really hoping I was going to have a new little sister." Her eyes lit up and with a straight face she asked, "Max could you get pregnant for real?"
We all fainted.
Hey there, everybody, Layman here! I bet you're all wondering when the next chapter is coming. Let me save you the trouble by saying that this is the last chapter of this story.
I know, sad but true.
Metallica reference aside, if you have any requests (i.e. subjects you would like me to write humorous little anecdotes about) feel free to P.M. me or say os in a review.
Also, I cannot stress nearly enough for you to read "Angel's Story". Don't let the size (it's the biggest story I've written for FFN so far) or the warning in the summery put you off. I worked hard on it and would appreciate if some people reviewed it, even if they aren't shining reviews singing my praises. Just tell me what you thought.
And if you think Max and the flock should visit Atlantis (SGA), jot down a review for that one too.