Confessions of a Teenage Porn Star (Or Why Puck Does Delinquent Shit
and The Righteous Brothers Are Total Pervs)
Word Count: 543
Summary: It's not like he likes her or anything
Disclaimer: Not mine
Spoilers through 1x08 So this just kinda popped in to my head. And demanded being written.
He doesn't care that Rachel Berry wants them to stay friends… He really, really doesn't.
Cause dude, She's Rachel Berry.
And when she helped him clean up after that slushy and sat down on his lap. That was totally not a hard on.
So yeah, Rachel Berry is a closed case. Or closet case. Whatever.
Cause he totally hated it when they were like together. Cause she talks like all the time, about this weird random stuff that no one cares about.
And he doesn't care. Not one bit.
And he's gonna prove it.
Tomorrow he's gonna throw the biggest fucking slushy in her face.
And if she like cries and shit he won't care.
Okay fine, so he didn't throw that slushy at her, but what the hell he was just thirsty.
So what if he doesn't like cherry. He was really fucking thirsty.
And he was totally not checking her out in history. It's not his fault that she sits right in front of him. He was only like resting his eyes and shit.
He doesn't like her. And they are not friends. Ever.
And that thing she did in glee when Mr. Shue gave her a new solo. That little happy skip.
Totally not cute.
And he's gonna delete her from his phone list and friends list as soon as he gets home. But than he might need her number and email for glee so he might not, but that doesn't mean anything.
Because he totally don't like her.
That comment on her MySpace video. Totally didn't mean anything.
He just liked the song.
Cause even though she is really fucking annoying she kinda good voice.
And who doesn't like "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'"?
And when she sang "I get down on my knees for you" its not like he pictured it in his head or anything.
And even if he did it was only for like a spit second and he's a teenage boy so its not like its his fault or anything.
Totally her fault, cause that's a really pervy line.
And she would probably suck at it anyway…
So he gave her a ride home. But dude, her car had a flat and his mom would be like totally pissed if he ever left a girl like stranded and shit.
And he might have said shit like we can still be friends. But that's just because their in glee together and shit. It's not like he actually wants to be her friend. Cause she is still totally annoying.
And when she told that totally boring story about her puppy he only laughed cause it was so lame. Cause she's not funny at all.
And that whole thing about offering to pick her up in the morning, that was just because they are kinda friendly now.
In a totally not friends only team mates kinda way.
And dude she had a fucking flat how was he to know he would be the only one left after practice just because he kinda moved her bag behind the door. It was totally in the way standing on the floor where he could trip over it.
And how could he have known she had a flat…