January 9, 2002

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~~~~~~~~~~Anywhere but Here... A Maho Tsukai Tai Shounen ai fic by Marin2x1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can remember how it happened. It seems so clear in my mind today. So much so that it's like it was only yesterday. Okay, so it was yesterday... and it isn't really all that clear. I silently curse myself this morning. Silently, because I wouldn't want to wake him up. That, and I'm not really sure of what happened last night. However it happened that I got so drunk last night, I don't know. But, damn, I'm going to pay for it when he wakes up. Or maybe he'll pay for it. I don't really even know who to be mad at, considering I don't remember much.

What I do remember, however, was the party at Sae's. Her birthday party. I remember I wore my best clothes, styled my hair just the way she liked it. I even considered going without my glasses on, but after running into a pole on the way there, I thought better of it. I met him on the way there, walking along the sidewalk. He carried a bright red package with an elaborate yellow ribbon tied on top. Stupid, careless, hair-brained me... I forgot to get Sae a gift. I silently scolded myself for being so thoughtless as I jogged to catch up to him, calling out his name just once to get his attention.

"Oh! Takeo-kun!" Aburatsubo said, surprised, as if he hadn't really walked out of his way, and a longer distance, to pass by my house on the way to the party. "You look very nice tonight..." He smiled at me, his cheeks turning just a slight shade of pink and his nose almost scrunching up as his eyes squinted. Damn... for someone who can't even remember what happened last night, I sure do have a pretty clear memory of Aburatsubo.

I blushed, scratching the back of my head nervously. He always makes me so nervous. I don't even know why. "Hehe... thanks. You, too... I guess."

He nodded and continued walking down the sidewalk, me following not far behind on his right. "So what did you get for Sae."

Aburatsubo stopped and looked around suspiciously. Then he leaned in close to me, sliding his face just a bit to the right to whisper into my ear. I could feel my face heating up in emberassment, but I just sat and waited. "Shh..." he whistled, blowing air across my ear and sending little shivers up my spine. "It's a secret."

I nodded stiffly.

"I got her..." he looked around once more, "a..." He pulled back suddenly and turned to walk off. "No, I can't tell you. It's a surprise."

I just stared after him a moment, my face still as red as a lobster and the chills still flowing up my spine at irregular intervals. I finally forced my legs to move again, and followed quite a bit behind him. I still don't know what he ever does or says that gets me acting that way. I mean, when I thought about it... everytime he came on to me... flirted with me, I shied away. I would just step back and laugh it off. Did I really think he was just teasing me? Yes, and no. Maybe he seriously did have feelings for me, but he acted on them so nonchalantly, as if it didn't actually matter that he cared. I kept thinking all these things as I walked behind him. In fact, I was so drawn into my own little world, mumbling to myself, I didn't notice him stop in front of me and I walked right into him, bumping my lowered head against his back in between his shoulder blades. He turned around and smiled at me as I rubbed the top of my head. "We're here." He pointed at the apartments that stretched up to the sky above us.

I nodded and made my way past him, opening the front door and immediately bounding up the steps toward her apartment as the excitement of the night began to build up inside me. I could barely hear his faint, slow steps coming up behind me as I finally reached her door and knocked loudly. I could already hear the party going on inside. It sounded as if it was going to be great. I barely heard anyone talking over the loud music. I doubt anyone heard me knock. I knocked again.

A limb snaked its way around my waist and I jumped in surprise, falling back into Aburatsubo's arms. He gave me a sideways smile and reached forward with one finger to ring the doorbell. The door flew open almost immediately and Sae smiled at us, faultering only for a moment at the sight of Aburatsubo with his arm around my waist. She wore a tight, bright red dress... it looked like crushed velvet, and it fit her form perfectly. I could see the curvature of the place where leg met hip, the deep concave area around the waist, and the outward jutting of the soft mounds that made up her breast. It took me a while to realize that Aburatsubo had released me and stepped inside, leaving me there, alone, staring at Sae, who stared back, asking me what was wrong.

I snapped out of my perverted thinking and smiled nervously. "Oh nothing..." I said, as I took a few steps toward her. "Happy birthday, Sae." I gave her a genuine smile. Her eyes lit up and she smiled back. I turned red. Too close.. too close. If I looked down, I knew it, I'd be able to see down the front of her dress... Didn't want to look. Couldn't look. I silently wondered what color bra she woud be wearing. Or... or... maybe she wasn't wearing one!! I spasmed uncontrollably, my left hand's fingers twitching in a strange rhythm. Aburatsubo slid over next to my left, staring off at something to his right, and nudged me. I blinked a few times, then realized Sae had gone back inside, the door to my right had been closed, and Aburatsubo's hand was on my lower back. He gave me a slight shove to encourage me to move, and before long, I was on my way, walking again without any help.

They certainly had decorated her apartment nicely. There were streamers and lights and food trays galore. The largest, open area of her apartment had been cleared of the tables to provide more room for the hordes of guests that stood around talking, some of them dancing to the music that played from the large stereo system set up. Akane seemed to be the center of that group, with nothing but guys around her. I could see why... with what she was wearing, a thin white dress... you could almost see the outline of her panties. I knew almost immediately that she wasn't wearing a bra.

Aburatsubo stopped me from going too far with those thoughts by asking me if I wanted something to drink. I nodded and walked over to a small corner of the room for no reason. I've never really been comfortable at parties. There's just something about being in a large crowd of people. It makes me feel as if I'm being stared at. And there I was, all alone, standing in a corner. I felt lonely all of a sudden. I hadn't even been there for but a minute, and I wished Aburatsubo would hurry back. I slumped my shoulders down into my back and looked at the floor, scuffing my feet against the wood, just so that I was doing something. A cup of something red suddenly appeared in front of my face and I took it slowly, looking up to see Aburatsubo smiling at me, his nose still wanting to scrunch up a bit as his eyes squinted.

Then he winked at me.

I turned away and downed the punch quickly. It tasted funny. I should have known right then. I should have figured it out. Instead, I went into the kitchen and got myself some more. Then, I had a third cup. This continued on for a while, me hovering over the punch bowl, filling and refilling my cup and drinking it, just so that I'd have something to do, until I was finally so full of punch I felt as if I could throw up right then. It was a strange feeling.

The evening slowly gets hazy from there. I remember sitting on the couch next to Aburatsubo and leaning on his shoulder. God, was he surprised at that. He didn't know how to react at first. Then he reached up and patted my head. "Are you feeling okay?" he asked me quietly.

I nodded, smushing my cheek into his deltoid muscle. He patted my head again. There's some fuzzy memory of him saying something to me, but I don't remember what it was now. He pushed me off of him, setting me up straight, held my face in his hands and leaned in slightly, staring at me with concern in his eyes. He said something. I watched as his lips moved. Didn't hear the words. Just... watched. They formed the syllables so carefully, meticulously. Each word coming from his slightly wet lips with beautiful precision. I just stared. He finally gave up and smiled again, his nose scrunching up, his cheeks a light pink. I finally gave up ignoring the fact that he was absolutely adorable when he did that. I think I must have told him outloud, because he blushed an even brighter shade of pink and stopped smiling.

I once heard that alcohol and drugs can make you lose your inhibitions. I don't know what I was on last night, but it had to have been one or the other, because I leaned in towards him. I don't know what happened after that. I think I was going to kiss him. Did I actually do it? Oh, shit... what if I did??

There are a few more memories that suddenly pop back into my mind. Me dancing... with him.... slowly. Then later, me saying that I actually didn't feel well. "Would you like to leave?" he asked of me, helping me to sit up straight, still smiling. I'm guessing he didn't care if I was drunk or not. He was probably just happy that I was returning just a small fraction of the affection he's showed for me for so long now. I nodded in response... I think. "Where would you like to go?"

I smiled at him and leaned in closer, putting my chest against his and resting my head on his shoulder. He smelled faintly of lavender. "Anywhere but here..."

After that, it gets very fuzzy. I wish I could remember what happened... At least I'm at home, in my own bed, curled up under my thick blanket, staring at the side of Aburatsubo's face as he sleeps beside me. When I woke up, it had been quite a shock to see him there. I nearly freaked. Yet, for some reason, I didn't. I took a good look at him for once. I actually looked at him. Not just a superficial glance. Not just noticing what's on the outside. He's a wonderful person. He so easily shows his feelings, without a second thought. He doesn't care what anyone else thinks of him. His good at sports and attractive and popular, but none of that matters. It doesn't matter to him at all. He loves me. Strange, perverted, dorky, weird me. And he loves me for who I am. I don't understand it. He could have anyone he wanted, but he wants me. Just me.

He sighs and rolls over towards me, throwing an arm over the lump of blanket that covers me. I blink and look down. He's sleeping on top of the covers... and still wearing the same clothes from last night. Even his shoes.

My door suddenly bursts open and I sit bolt upright in bed. Takako stares at me, adjusting her glasses. I immediately make excuses as to why Aburatsubo is in my bed. "T-Takako! It's not what you think! I was just... erm..."

She gives me one of her stares and interrupts me, not caring at all to hear the excuses. "Mom said to hurry downstairs for breakfast. And to bring Aburatsubo." I stare after her as she closes the door behind her. The shifting of the matress infroms me that Aburatsubo is awake now, and the slight sigh tells me that he is stretching and yawning. I don't dare to turn around. I hadn't thought of this. It was fine to stare at him while he was sleeping, but to have to face him in the morning... with him awake. God, what did I do last night?? I finally turn around as nonchalantly as possible, placing a huge smile on my face and trying to look serious at the same time. I'm not even sure of the effect I'm aiming for. Whatever it is doesn't matter to him. He just winks at me and pats my back with his right hand softly. I'm not wearing my shirt. Skin contact. Oh, hell....

"What... what happened last night?"

"Don't you remember, Takeo-kun?" he smiles at me innocently, his nose not scrunching up so much as before. "You weren't feeling well, so I took you home. I stayed here with you to make sure that you'd be okay." He sits up, throwing his legs over the side of the bed, and stares down at the floor. He almost looks sad... disappointed, even.

"So we didn't... do anything?"

His head snaps up and he turns to glare at me, though the glare is very superficial. I can see the disappointment through it. "Of course not. You think I would take advantage of you in the state you were in?"

I smile at him, a genuine, warm smile. He doesn't seem to understand why. I slide closer to him and wrap my hands around his right arm. He stares at them, dumbfounded.

"I've been thinking, Aburatsubo..."

He nods, still staring at the hands as if he can't believe his own eyes.

"I've been thinking a lot this morning... about you."

He looks up at me, wide-eyed. I can't believe I'm saying it, either, but, hey... I've already started. I may as well finish.

"I know you wouldn't do anything like that."

My heart is beating so fast...

"That's because you're such a good person. That's the reason I like you."

His face is turning red.

I reach my left arm around him and hold him close from behind, resting my face against his back and the soft hair that falls down upon it.

"T-Takeo? Whatever you're on..."

I peer around his shoulder at him and wink. "I'm not on anything. Not anymore. This is the real me, telling the real you... that I like you, too."

He squints his eyes at me. He's actually beginning to cry. Hell.. what did I do wrong now?

"TAKEO-KUUUUUUN!!!" He turns around and jumps me, landing us both in a strange tangled heap of limbs and blanket, and in the center, his hands are on my face, and he's kissing me like I've never been kissed before. And believe me... I've never been kissed before.

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Okay, so maybe there was still something left from last night floating around in my system this morning, but it can't be all that bad. After all, the only thing it did to me was to make me lose my inhibitions. It's not like it put the ideas in my head. They were already there. I had just never noticed them before. It makes me happy to finally realize something that's been staring me in the face for so long now.

As I walk Aburatsubo home, holding his hand tightly to remind us both that it was not, in fact, a very strange intricate dream, I can't help but wonder if I kissed him last night, or if the kiss this morning was the first one, save for that small, accidental kiss on the beach that one time...

We're at his house now. No, it's too early to come inside. I have things to do at home. Tomorrow? Yeah. Of course. I'll see you before school, then. He kisses me again. He smells like lavender. I walk home in a daze, the birds flying overhead screeching at me annoyingly and trying to break up my little fantasy world. I only have one thing to say: Thank God for drugs and alcohol!

Owari...

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Ne, ne! My first Maho Tsukai Tai fic! ::dances joyfully:: I'm actually proud of myself. I mean, considering I haven't been able to write for SO long, and now I sit down, and write out this shibby piece in one sitting. Pretty good for someone with writer's block. ^_~