Hello everyone! I am not new to fanfiction, for I'm currently working on rewriting Twilight, but I am new to Harry Potter fanfiction. I have been an avid fan for awhile, and this is my first attempt at a fanfiction in that world. I'm trying to capture as much of the british lingo as possible, so bear with me! Hope you enjoy and please review if you can- no flames.

Chapter 1. The First Conquest

Seventh year was going to be bloody amazing. Those were the first thoughts running through Sirius Black's mind as he got dressed in the morning to go back to Hogwarts, but more importantly, to his first day of being a seventh year, where he had access to the pick of the litter of all the girls Hogwarts had to offer. Yes, he'd had many girls before, but he had set his mind in the summer to only pick those that were unattainable. For he was easily one of the most sought after blokes in the entire school. He couldn't exactly blame the girls. He did have one of the most built physiques out of all the Gryffindor boys, he would even be gallant enough to say in his entire class, but the thing he believed attracted girls the most was his carefree, "I don't give a bloody shit attitude", and the fact that he ran away from home the year before. Ladies couldn't resist a "bad boy".

But this year he wanted a challenge. He told James the night before of his new little game, which he was thrilled about.

"You should try it too, mate," he offered, gazing at his reflection in the mirror. "You know you're only second to me in the sexiness department, but I see you're too hung up on Evans," he stated rather exasperatingly. He couldn't understand Prongs' fascination with a certain redhead. It was unhealthy. He needed to play the field a bit. This "going after one girl" finding your true love bullshit was very pansy-like of him.

"I'm gonna get her this year," James said confidently. "She wants me to be less arrogant and cocky, and that's what I'll be."

Sirius turned to look at James. "You're really going to do this, for a girl?" He was incredulous. He couldn't grasp the concept of changing who you were to please somebody. He thought James was a great guy already; he didn't need to sacrifice that for a woman. If this was the case, than maybe Evans wasn't worth it, but he would rather be swallowed whole by the giant squid than tell him that.

"You go ahead with this idea of yours," James said, breaking into Sirius' thoughts. "I'm sure you'll have no problem finding girls who will willingly want to shag you. It's the same every year."

Sirius shook his head, loving how his long black locks would swoop across the side of his face, making him look irresistible in the process, or so he thought. "It isn't because I'm not going to shag girls that are too willing; I'm going for those girls that need a little…prodding."

James laughed. "Don't think I don't know what you mean by 'prodding'"

Sirius chuckled. "That too mate, that too." He fixed the collar of one of the only muggle shirts he owned and headed for the door. "Come on, we'll be late."

They both bounded through the stairs of the Potter family home, Godric's Hollow, and almost raced to the kitchen, where Mrs. Potter was hovering over the kitchen table, where she was whipping up a stack full of pancakes and other assortments with her wand. James' mother looked exactly like him, minus the glasses. She had the same hazel eyes and same black hair, but whereas James' stood on all ends, Mrs. Potter's was pulled very neatly into a bun. Sirius felt as if she was his mother as well. She was welcoming, caring, and kind; she was everything that was lacking in his own mother, who, once he left the house, blew his name from the family tapestry and disowned him. It wasn't as if he cared, for his family was one of the darkest wizarding families known in the wizarding world, and Sirius wanted no part of it.

"I figured you boys would be really hungry," Mrs. Potter offered after glancing at the boys' astonished expressions over the gigantic banquet served for them.

"Mum, this is almost as huge as the Hogwarts feasts," James replied, astounded beyond belief.

"Well, I know you boys are always starving and I know nothing in the carts of the train will fill you up."

"Thank you, Mrs. Potter," Sirius replied, smiling. This was heaven in his mind, a mother who attended to your every need and was considerate. He sat down and dove into the big plate of pancakes, and James did the same. James was so used to his mother that he didn't appreciate the wonderfulness that was her. Sirius would bet a thousand galleons that if James spent a single day in Grimmauld Place with his cantankerous mother he would come back and kiss Mrs. Potter's feet. The boys finished everything pretty quickly and headed outside.

"Are you really sure you want to use that muggle car?" Mrs. Potter asked, looking outside the window hurriedly.

For the two maurauders had decided to drive in style to King's cross in a nineteen sixty-nine yellow Chevrolet caprice. It was vintage, or so Sirius was told, but not that old that it was undriveable. The boys let Mrs. Potter believe that by some miracle, Sirius was able to obtain a driver's license and was practicing all summer. This was a tremendous lie. The boys were planning to charm the car in order to fly it, something that was against the rules for a Hogwarts student, which made the idea even more appealing.

"Yes, Mum, really. Sirius is a good driver, actually, and it'll help us relate to muggles a bit more and we're also thinking of using this to benefit us in Muggle Studies," James said excitedly.

Sirius followed James' suit, an interested expression adorning his face. The two of them had told little white lies for years, and surprisingly, Mrs. Potter had believed them all. Sirius liked to think that Mrs. Potter really knew they were fibbing, but chose to look the other way, lest she should come to face the facts that her son and his best friend really weren't the little angels she believed them to be. Mrs. Potter flicked her wand, causing the two boys' luggage to appear at the front entrance.

"Bye, Mum," James said, already halfway across to the Chevrolet parked outside.

"Bye, Boys," she replied. "Have fun on your final year!"

"We will," James said, throwing his luggage onto the trunk of the car and climbing into the passenger seat.

"Thank you, Mrs. Potter," Sirius nearly yelled as he himself climbed into the driver's seat and started the car with his wand. It was easy for them to have charmed the thing.

"You're very welcome, Sirius. You are always welcome in our home," Mrs. Potter said, waving at the boys.

They sped off, making sure that Mrs. Potter was safely inside Godric's Hollow before using a flying charm James and Sirius had picked up and directed the car upwards, deciding to hide above the clouds, lest they are seen by muggles and get kicked out of school. Sirius felt free being up in the air, it was more liberating than merely going through the floo network, where the space was constricting and a tad bit uncomfortable. There was nothing like the feeling of being up in the air amongst the clouds, feeling the wind blowing through his hair. This was the life. It seemed as if merely minutes had past when they arrived at King's Cross Station. They slowly lowered themselves miles away, for they also charmed the vehicle to detect how many miles they were from the station so they can go in unnoticed. The rest of the way, Sirius tried to decide which side of the road to drive on, as well as which apparatus near his foot was to "stop" and which one was to "go."

"I have no bloody idea, mate," James said to Sirius' questions. "I think to go you hit the one on the right," James offered, shrugging.

"All right, let's try," Sirius said loudly, and hit the apparatus with his foot. The car began to speed up, with Sirius trying to maintain control of the wheel in front of him, almost crashing into the car in front of him in the process.

The muggle in the vehicle turned to stare at the two boys. "Learn to bloody drive, you fool."

"Oh, bugger off," James said, sticking his tongue out at him.

The man turned the other way, facing the road in front of him, fuming at the boys' audacity at responding rudely to their elders.

"That was bloody brilliant of you, telling off that muggle like that," Sirius said admiringly.

"He was being an arse," James said simply.

It was to the boys' relief that they finally arrived at Kings Cross, for they lost count at the possible body count they would develop in the were left to the road much longer. They parked the car rather badly in between the two white lines, for that's how they say the other vehicles parked, and decided to do the same. The boys had decided before that they would place a charm over the car that would protect it from being stolen and no muggle could break into it, for they definitely were going to drive it on the way back during Christmas break.

"It'll be fine," Sirius said, responding to the slight worry that appeared over James' face for a second, but it was only for a second.

"All right, then," James replied, grabbing his suitcase from the trunk and the two of them made their way inside King's Cross.

Once locating platform nine and three quarters, they went through the routine of making sure no muggles could see them as they ran the carts they located at the entrance of the station through the wall. They easily came out on the other side, which contained a world entirely different from the boring muggle infested station, to the thriving metropolis of the various students and their wizard parents saying goodbye to their children as they either started their career at Hogwarts or just starting another exciting year.

"Now, my dear Prongs, begins my mission," Sirius said proudly as he climbed up onto the train, his luggage at hand.

"I wish you the best of luck Padfoot, even though I doubt you need it. This will be easy, you can get any girl you want," James said, searching for the compartment containing the remaining two of their little group, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

"Oh, I hope it won't be easy, all the more fun for me," Sirius replied, completely sure that this challenge will be worthwhile.

He began to search the girls as they also searched for the compartment containing their two friends. He saw a couple of girls which matched his regular criteria- nice arse, big tits, pretty face…but what made them unique? What made these girls worth the catch?

All of a sudden, a petite girl with long, blonde hair pushed past Sirius and James, nearly causing the two boys to tumble over their luggage.

"Hey, watch it," James said, brushing off the dust accumulating on his clothes from the unclean floor.

"Sorry, just have to get to my friends," she said, nearly breathless.

"That's all right," Sirius said, giving the girl a look over, seeing if she matched his criteria. She had a pretty alright bum, not something to brag about, her face was pretty though, but her chest was somehow lacking- they weren't too small but didn't meet up to Sirius's standards.

"Are you staring at my breasts?" the girl asked all of a sudden, her mouth hanging open in shock.

A look of mock shock crossed Sirius's face. "No, of course not. Why would I be doing something so vile like that?" He heard James snickering in the background. What a way to give away his not so honorable intentions.

The girl noticed James' silent laughter, and turned her attention back to Sirius. "I'm not a bloody idiot. I know how you boys think and you checked me out, so it's my turn to give you the once over," she declared.

Sirius's eyes widened. Never in all his life had a girl dared to stand up to him, it was rather sexy.

"Your hair is too greasy, your nose is too long, you barely have a bum and you smell like a dog," she stated and walked away.

Sirius couldn't help but call out, " What's your name?" but either the girl heard and chose not to answer or she didn't hear his question, for she kept on walking without looking back once at Sirius, and entered a compartment a short distance away.

James whistled. "Mate, that was the single most brilliant thing I have ever seen."

"Oh, shut up," Sirius said, scowling but secretly impressed.

"I think we've found assignment number one," James suggested, grinning slyly.

Sirius pursed his lips. "Maybe."

James laughed again. "She was partially right, mate. You do smell like a dog. Probably from you nightly prowl as your little furry counterpart."

"Oh, as if you don't smell like the antlered little devil you turn into," Sirius retorted playfully.

"Touché," James said. "So, you going to pursue her?"

Sirius thought about it. "I probably am," he replied, knowing a challenge when he saw one.

They kept looking through compartments, checking for Remus and Peter, when one of the most beautiful girls Sirius had ever seen was leaning against the wall of a compartment to their left, heavily snogging a boy who Sirius recognized as Mark Pressly, a hufflepuff sixth year. The girl he was snogging was his girlfriend of two years, the formerly plain Matilda Vance. But this year she had filled out nicely- round, nice bum that was being caressed by her loser boyfriend, nicely sized breasts, and gorgeous black hair. Sirius could imagine all the possibilities- her protests because of Sirius' advances, saying how she couldn't possibly be with him because of her heavy commitment to her two year boyfriend. But then, Matilda's head turned, staring straight into Sirius's eyes. That was all the encouragement Sirius needed.

He whispered to his friend, "I have found assignment one."

James's eyes widened. "Matilda?"

"Oh, yes," Sirius replied. "She would be quite a challenge."

"But she's been dating Pressly for two years," James declared.

Sirius looked at his friend. "That's the point."

James rolled his eyes and continued down the corridor, passing the snogging couple. "Sorry," he said, as he nearly bumped into Mark Pressly. But the sixth year barely even noticed.

Matilda was the one who looked up, again staring at Sirius, "It's all right," she said.

Sirius winked at her, and sauntered off behind his friend. He would see her again. No reason to be too eager, being nonchalant was his specialty. Sirius then made a mental note: Conquest one- Matilda Vance. Now it was official.