Chapter: One - Hiding
Pairing: Caroline/Damon, with some Caroline/Other, Damon/other
Summary: "If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough" -Mario Andretti. A study in control; one who considers her life in control and one who does everything he can to control those around him.
She doesn't let him see her cry.
It could be a pride thing, but she doubts it. Somewhere between bending to his will and jumping into bed with him faster than he can ask or spending the mornings with a gallon of cover up, dressing like her grandma to cover the bite marks, she is certain her pride is gone. She is certain it bled out onto her pillow, and she's pretty certain he swallowed it for her.
It's not pride that has her face in her dress, huddled in the back corner of her closet, mascara making dark paths down her cheeks. He can't see her here-he left about an hour ago – but lately she can't escape him. He is everywhere, crawling under her skin, peeking out through the bite marks, her bedroom isn't safe, he's touched every surface, touched her on every surface, made her ache, made her scream, made her bleed on her bed, her dresser, her floor, against the door and there are flecks of red as a little reminder- he is everywhere. He hasn't found the closet yet, so it becomes her cocoon and in it when he is gone, and her body is crying out for his touch, she lets the tears roll down her cheeks where not even the memory of him can find her and see her like this.
He doesn't deserve the satisfaction of seeing her break, perhaps it is pride, or perhaps she is still holding onto the notion that he will grow to love her for more than the taste of her blood and the easiness of her sex.
It's not that she wants an easy love either, some part of her wants him to ache as she has, wants him to be completely and utterly consumed with her so much that it hurts. Some part her wants him to hurt, badly. She doesn't want the Elena and Stephen route, easy and beautiful and boring, and what stings the most is that she knows that it wouldn't be, she knows that Damon will never be boring and easy but part of her recognizes that it shouldn't be this hard either.
Her cheerleader outfit hangs close to her head and mocks her, like some twisted memory of a confidant girl who chewed through boys more than she bothered to chew her own food. This voracious, confidant girl is becoming scarily similar "post-parents-death" Elena and this pisses her off because she is not boring, she is not pathetic, and she is not this easy girl who lets a boy control her.
What scares her more is that she can't go back.
Those boys, easy, inexperienced – boring and infantile, she knows that each clumsy kiss will have her begging at Damon's door because he is smooth, because he is older and smarter and cruel and condescending and most of all he is dangerous and somewhere along the way she became a junkie for his drug. She had been controlling; she had been meticulous, manipulative and bored as fuck. He is dangerous, he is cruel and condescending and he is tearing away at her slowly, she doesn't want it to stop, even if it kills her.
He knows this, she's sure of it, but she can't- she won't give him the satisfaction of showing him how much she needs him. She will not be that girl, and even if she is, even if that girl is huddled up and shaking in the dark, she won't let him see it.
Maybe it is a pride thing, maybe pride is sitting in front of the mirror wiping off and reapplying, stripping down, buttoning up.
And when he comes back later on that night, maybe pride is feigning indifference when he asks "did you miss me?" a careless shrug, a smirk, toss of her hair and a "maybe".
Maybe pride is holding on to the last bits of control, her teeth again his skin, his sigh, his moan.
And then he kisses her neck with something close to tenderness and she crumbles.
Soooooo there have been quite a few of these damon/caroline drabbles popping up, so this chapter might not be anything too original however there is something really fascinating about Damons character and I'm really looking forward to exploring it. And as for Caroline, there is nothing more fun to write than a girl who is at the top of the social food chain and seemingly in control.
There will be more chapters popping up ( sporadically); I'm incredibly inconsistent in my style of writing and I like to play around with it each chapter.
Anyways enough rambling.
Hope you liked it. And if so, if not, review! =)