Author's Note: emo poem (or song) I wrote about my feelings, especially about depression, because it's exactly what I feel. Has some hints of anorexia. I don't know if it's depression or not, though I have almost all symptoms. I've been feeling depressed because I feel really alone, people don't understand me and I miss SO BAD the guy I love, because he lives really far away. This may be seen as Ginny's thoughts, about her depression over Harry going to the the war (I know she didn't get depressed, but this is FICTION). In this poem, "You"are the people that don't understand me and make fun of me (or the people in Hogwarts, for Ginny), and "he"is the guy I love, OR, Harry.
You laugh at my pain
But you'll never understand,
How bad it feels to think,
You won't make it through the day.
Life sucks big time,
To me, it's no lie.
I know I've got no reason,
But I feel unhappy even though we're in the sunny season.
My mom wakes me up. She says:
Morning pretty princess, rise and shine.
Only she doesn't know I want to stay in bed and die,
She doesn't know I don't feel pretty, and all my smiles are a lie.
I don't know if I'm depressed,
But I couldn't care less.
One day I remember the sun shone,
But now I'm in the dark, all alone.
I feel tired all the time. Tired physically, and tired of this big bad mean world.
It doesn't matter how much sleep I get,
I'm always sleepy through the day.
And I can't see my way.
My headaches hurt too much,
and I get them everyday.
My mom was worried,
but all those exams I made, said it was nothing.
I'm famished right now,
But food doesn't not feel really appealing to me.
My mom tells me to eat,
I eat it all just so she won't see,
That I am sad. And it's not normal the way I feel.
I've always been that Grade A student,
but now I try to focus in my classes, but all I hear is babbling,
My focus is gone,
Along with the sun.
I don't know what's going on with me.
I laugh sometimes, but happiness doesn't last more than a minute.
And it hurts again.
Again. All this pain.
I feel so numb. I can't feel a thing.
All I feel is the never ending sadness and the sorrow. All a nightmare.
And the love I feel for him is something that won't pass away.
Not never. Not today.
I feel like everyday is made of pain.
Leave me alone. I don't wanna go shopping, please go away.
I don't wanna eat,
I have 110 lbs. I'm too fat for that.
I know it's not right,
But hell I don't care now.
And don't you pretend you care, cause you don't. I know.
You'll just laugh when you see the cuts in my arms.
You won't understand. You'll say I made it for attention.
But I didn't. After all, I don't want to be noticed. I don't want you to see me.
But I've done it just to know I'm still alive.
I just want to runaway,
Runaway of all this pain.
Destiny doesn't want me to be happy.
That's why it made me fall in love with a guy who is so far away.
I don't know if he's fine, if he's still alive. But my love won't die.
I makes me numb not to feel his lips as I felt some day.
It's a pain that comes as he goes,
And again I bleed.
I bleed so I know I still live.
But I won't end it tonight,
Cause I want to die in his arms.
I want to be with him through all my life.
And that's why we're trying to survive.
This sadness that strikes,
Is taking down my life.
And I can't save me from myself,
But I'll try.