Birds and Bees: The Original
Naruto Uzumaki, sixteen year old Jinchuuriki of Konohagakure no Sato laid on his bed, pondering about those Icha Icha books that Jiraiya the Gama Sannin always wanted him to read or edit. Jiraiya had told him that what was shown in the books was natural and that it showed how babies were made. Well, Naruto never read those books and now, he was curious as to how babies were made. I mean, they just didn't pop from out of nowhere like a Kage Bunshin, obviously, but they have to come from somewhere!
'Looks like it's time for some ramen!' And with that, Naruto banished away those thoughts almost as if they were never there to begin with. Of course, somewhere in the back of his mind he was still trying to figure it out.
Naruto pulled back the curtain in ramen stand and found to his astonishment that Sakura was there, eating ramen, without him trying to force her into a date.
"Hey Naruto." Sakura Greeted.
"Hey... Sakura... Ummm, what brings you here?" Naruto asked, thoroughly intrigued by the fact that Sakura actually seemed to enjoy eating ramen.
"Well, I was hungry and decided... why are you looking at me like that?" She said, noticing that Naruto was staring at her as if she was some sort of circus freak.
Naruto shook his head, trying to clear it, before replying, "Well... it's just that you don't eat ramen and now you're eating ramen. It's weird"
"Well, it's not as weird as a ninja who constantly wears orange." Sakura retorted.
"Hey! I'm not wearing ALL orange" and to emphasize his point, he tugged on the fabric of his jacket that was black, "See?"
Sakura shook her head, "All right, whatever."
Naruto resigned with a sigh and sat down next to Sakura. He then ordered some ramen to which Teuchi happily went to make. In the mean time, Naruto sat there quietly and began wondering if he should actually read those Icha Icha books to see how babies are made, or if he should ask someone. To Naruto, it made more sense to read the book since it would have pictures, but he thought he wouldn't understand the pictures. Then again, it's not like he even knew how the process started.
Naruto sighed, partly from frustration, and partly from his brain working too much. Sakura took note of this and became troubled to see the usually hyper Naruto acting... quiet. She decided to wait and take in more of this 'quiet' Naruto. Finally the bowl arrived and Naruto gratefully took it and the sparkle in his eye revived in an instant. Sakura couldn't help but roll her eyes at such insanity; but it was Naruto after all. Still, it looked like Naruto had something on his mind. So now she wondered if she should ask him or not.
Since it was getting kind of boring, she decided to ask, "So Naruto. What's on your mind?" She said before grabbing some chicken and noodles with her chopsticks. She blew on the food a bit to try and cool it down before eating it.
"Babies..." Naruto replied as he too decided to began his meal by breaking his chopsticks.
"Babies?" She said while covering up her mouth. She was still chewing her food and she didn't want to show it to the public, not like Naruto would care.
Naruto blew on the food he was holding before saying innocently, "Yea... how are they made?" Just as he was about to put the food in his mouth, he stopped since he suddenly heard some plates crash somewhere inside the ramen stand. Then he turned to look at Sakura who appeared to be turning blue...
"SAKURA-CHAN!" Naruto panicked and instead of doing to proper procedure for someone who is choking, he hit her on the back as hard as he could. Out flew a piece of chicken from Sakura's mouth and bounced on the counter before rolling to a stop. Naruto looked at the piece of chicken, then he turned to look at the gasping Sakura... who suddenly turned to him with angry eyes.
"You IDIOT!" Sakura screamed, "That is NOT how you deal with people who are choking!"
"S-Sorry Sakura-chan! I didn't know!" Naruto said as he raised his hands in defense. Then he cowered when he saw Sakura raise her fist.
"I'm sorry!" Naruto said as put his hands out in front of him to try and cushion the blow. But the blow didn't come and Naruto opened one eye cautiously and noticed that Sakura just sighed with resignation. Putting her fist down, she finally realized that she had stood—since she wanted more power in her punch before hitting Naruto—and she sat down.
"Sakura...chan?" Naruto cautiously asked, making sure that she wasn't still angry with him.
"So... you don't know how babies are made?" Naruto shook his head, "How the HELL do you not know! We went to the same academy right?" Naruto nodded, "Well?!" Sakura said, completely exasperated by Naruto's lack of knowledge.
She immediately regretted saying that. Naruto's aura suddenly changed to a somber tone and it sent a small chill down her spine. What surprised her is that the look of 'joy' on Naruto's face did not change at all. Why would Naruto need a mask to cover his emotions?
"Eh heh... err... I must've fallen asleep or something when they taught us about babies..." Naruto grinned... but something was off in the way he smiled.
"So... can you teach me Sakura?" Naruto asked, hoping that she would be able to help.
"Huh?" Sakura said, astonished that Naruto said such a question.
"Can you teach me how babies are made?" Naruto said, with genuine curiosity. This relaxed Sakura a bit as since it made the somber tone in Naruto's aura change into a happier one. Then, her own mood changed as she realized what kind of question Naruto was asking.
"Naruto! You don't just go asking people how babies are made!" Sakura explained.
"I don't?" Naruto asked. He was confused as to why asking how babies were made could surprise anyone. Shouldn't everyone already know?
"No! You should ask a professional. Like a medic or something." Sakura said, until she realized the folly in her statement.
"Aren't you a medic Sakura?" She knew he was going to say that...
"Yes! But I mean, a real professional like Tsunade or Shizune!" She explained.
"Oh..." He turned in his seat and faced his ramen. He played with his ramen a bit, then looked at Sakura out of the corner of his eye. Sakura noticed this gesture and asked what he wanted.
"It's nothing. But..." He picked at his ramen nervously, trying to figure out how to say his next sentence, "I would like it better if Sakura-chan showed me how to make a baby!" Naruto said and smiled.
It so happened that Kakashi was walking by and overheard Naruto's proclamation. He walked calmly, perverted book in hand, and patted Naruto on the shoulder. "Make us proud Naruto... make us proud." and with that, he disappeared in a puff of smoke before Naruto could turn his head.
Struck with confusion, he turned to Sakura. "I don't get i—Sakura-chan?" He asked, noticing that Sakura had turned a shade of red that would make Hinata proud.
"You... you..." Sakura said, shaking in anger.
"Sa...ku...ra...-chan?" He suddenly gulped as he saw her stand up and loom over him. She cracked her knuckles—evil glint in eye and all, and gave him an uppercut that sent him soaring high into the skies!
"That moron..." Sakura said, still thoroughly embarrassed that Naruto said that to her, then having Kakashi—of all people—overhear such a thing! She sighed exacerbated and stormed off to her house... forgetting to pay the ramen and all.
"Hey... wait!" Ayame yelled, but it was too late. The raging pinky had stormed out of hearing range.
"Damn all this paperwork! Gah! I need some Sake..." Tsunade gave a tired sigh and started rubbing temples; she could feel the headache that was about to happen.
Naruto had broken through the rooftop and landed right in front of Tsunade's desk. It would appear that Tsunade's headache arrived right on time!
She couldn't help but see some irony in the situation. Usually it was Jiraiya who broke through the roof screaming. Like sensei like apprentice, she supposed. "Naruto!" She said, noticing Naruto struggling to get up, "I'm glad you decided to drop by!"
Naruto rubbed his jaw and immediately regretted it when he felt a sharp pain shoot into his brain. After it died down, he took time to notice his surroundings and realized that he had landed in front of Obaa-chan's office.
"Obaa-chan!" Naruto greeted, completely forgetting that he had just been punched, sent soaring into the sky, crashing into a roof, and landing face first on the floor.
Tsunade couldn't help but sweatdrop a little. "So... why are you here?" She asked, still busy with her paperwork. She was stamping away and yet, the paperwork never seemed to lessen.
"Why am I here?" Naruto asked. "Yes! But I mean, a real professional like Tsunade or Shizune!" Naruto suddenly remembered Sakura's words and proceeded to ask his question.
"How are babies made?" Tsunade stopped mid-stamp and turned to look at Naruto with a blank look on her face.
"You don't know how babies are made you say?" Naruto nodded. "You want me to teach you how babies are made then?" Naruto nodded. "I suppose that you also want me to show you how babies are made meaning the entire process?" Again, Naruto nodded.
Tsunade thought about it for a bit. She was going through her options. Obviously, she herself couldn't do it since she was the Godaime and really didn't have much time for anything. Kakashi couldn't do it since he would probably just laugh at her and walk off. Jiraiya...she suddenly shook in fear, thinking of the horrors that could happen if Jiraiya taught Naruto how to make babies. Anko ... was just as bad as Jiraiya. Kurenai was on a mission at the moment. Shizune...Shizune! That was it! The perfect person to teach Naruto would be none other than Shizune.
"Shizune!" Tsunade yelled. Not 3 seconds later, a panting Shizune opened the door.
"What! What!" Shizune said, looking around to see if anything was wrong.
"I have a mission for you, it's of utmost importance!" Tsunade said seriously.
"Yes Hokage-sama! What is it?" She replied promptly.
"I need you... to teach Naruto how to make a baby! Tsunade bluntly said. Shizune gave a blank stare at the Hokage... then she blushed.
"All right! Now that you have your mission, OUT OF MY OFFICE!" The force of her yell swept Naruto and Shizune off their feet and out the door. They lay in a tumbled heap, with Shizune the one on top. Immediately after noticing the awkward position they were in, she got up and dusted off her clothes, trying to take her mind off what just happened.
Naruto too got up and proceeded to ask, "So... you're going to show me how to make a baby?" For the second time that day, Kakashi walked by. Overhearing this, he took his eye off the book and turned to Naruto. "I'm proud Naruto. You work very fast." Then he entered the Hokage's door, leaving behind a confused Naruto and a cherry red Shizune. Her embarrassment wasn't from the fact that someone had overheard them, but by the fact that she felt a bit... turned on by the thought of being with Naruto. Sure the boy had grown taller, handsome, a slightly more muscular... but he was still a boy! Her libido, however, didn't care about the ethics; a male was male and to her libido, Naruto happened to be a very attractive male. All these thoughts, arguments, and feelings caused her brain to overload... she promptly fainted...
"Shizune..." She heard out in the distance.
"Shizune." The voice became louder and a bit clearer. She recognized it... but couldn't remember the person.
"Oi! Shizune!" She opened her eyes and was greeted by Naruto's eyes... who were mere inches from her face.
"Finally!" Naruto said as he pulled back and sat back in his own chair.
'His own chair?' Shizune sat up and noticed for the first time that she was in a bed... which probably belonged to Naruto... which probably meant that she was in his... bed...room. Shizune quickly checked under the covers to make sure her clothes were still on and sure enough, they were still there.
"Are you missing something Shizune?" Naruto asked.
"N-No! N-Nothing!" Shizune gave a nervous chuckle. Naruto just stared at her blankly, then he too started to chuckle. Shizune breathed in a sigh of relief... content that the tension in the air had disappeared.
"So umm... Shizune?" Naruto said, finally hoping to get some answers.
"Hmm?" Said the smiling Shizune which oddly caused Naruto's heart to skip a beat.
'That... was strange...' Naruto thought. His hand unconsciously made its way over his heart and gripped the jacket.
"Are you ok Naruto?" She said, noticing his hand's movement. Her medical skills kicked in and she got up, moved closer to Naruto, and removed his hand from over his heart. She activated a scanning jutsu and her hand became encased in a glowing green light. Chakra moved from her hand, went through the jacket, and infused itself into Naruto's skin.
Naruto himself was watching Shizune's every movement. The look of concentration on her face made her look... cute. Naruto couldn't help but blush a bit. He suddenly felt nervous for reasons he couldn't understand.
"Well... nothing seems to be wrong with you." Shizune said as she deactivated her jutsu. "But tell me if anything starts hurting, ok?" All Naruto could do was nod dumbly. Shizune then sat back on the bed, but was still facing Naruto.
"So... what was it you were gonna ask Naruto?" She said with a cute grin on her face.
"I-I-I..." Naruto suddenly felt his throat become dry, but he refused to give up, "I want to know how babies are made! Can you teach me?" After Naruto had finished saying those words, it seemed the Shizune's face was stuck in that smiling position. The only thing different was there was a tint of red on her cheeks.
"Y-You want me to teach you? Umm... right. Has anyone told you the story about the birds and the bees?"
Naruto scratched his head, trying to remember. "I don't think I have."
Shizune already knew that was going to be his answer... that didn't give her any relief, however. Taking a deep breath, she replied, "All right. I guess I'll have to tell you then."
Shizune then sat up straight, fixed her clothes a bit, then proceeded to say, "All right, here's the story of the bees. You see Naruto, when a man and a woman love each other they..."
(2 hours later)
Naruto nodded after everything Shizune said, soaking up the information. After Shizune had finished, he stood up in excitement. "So basically... when a woman and man get ready to have a baby, they go to the ninja mart and order a baby. Then the flying monkey king comes and delivers the baby to the parents 9 months later, right?" Shizune gave a feeble nod. "Yosh! Then I know everything then!"
Naruto began to walk out of his room until he heard Shizune call out to him, "Wait Naruto! I... lied...to you. That's not how babies are made."
"They're not?" Naruto gave a question look to Shizune. Shizune squirmed a bit under his glance. Him staring at her made Shizune uncomfortable and yet, she liked being stared at. It gave her a warm pleasant feeling that started from her heart and extended into her...
"So how are they made then?" Naruto said as he walked back into the room and sat back down his chair. This is when Shizune finally realized that she was actually going to have to show him how babies are made. Shizune blushed, part from embarrassment, part from excitement. She had no idea where the excitement came from, but it gave her courage to do what she was about to do.
"Naruto... have you ever seen a naked woman before?" Shizune knew that he must've, how else could he do the Sexy Jutsu?
"Nope." Naruto said. Shizune was caught off guard by his answer and she blurted out, "Then how do you do the sexy jutsu?" The covered her mouth after the sudden outburst, but Naruto didn't seem fazed by it.
"Well... I saw a doll, you know, the ones they put in the department store?" Shizune nodded, "Well, it didn't have any clothes on and since it had a womanly figure... I copied it." Shizune was beginning to piece the clues together and she realized that it could only mean one thing.
"So... when you change Naruto, those clouds... there's nothing underneath them is there?"
"Bingo! Wow, you're smart Shizune!" Naruto grinned his foxy grin, causing Shizune to blush out of embarrassment. For some reason, the apartment seemed to be getting warmer by the minute. 'No! Get a hold of yourself Shizune! This is a mission! I can't get sidetracked by being turned on! Oh Kami... I admitted it, I'm turned on by Naruto!' Shizune shook her head in frustration causing Naruto to give her a confused look.
"It's nothing," she replied, "So there's nothing underneath them..." Shizune then started giggling, then it turned into outright laughter. Naruto couldn't help but grin, her laughter sounded so soft in his ears. He really wouldn't mind if that's all he heard ever again. That's when it hit him, she was laughing AT him!
"Hey!" Naruto said, quite vexed. But it didn't last long, he wasn't the type of person to be angry unless needed.
"Sorry... it's just... so funny!" Shizune giggled a bit longer before finally calming down. "It's just funny to imagine," She began, "that you've beaten opponents using a woman who was incomplete!"
Naruto scratched his back of his head, a gesture he used when he was slightly embarrassed. "Yea... so, what does a woman look like? I mean... underneath clothes and all?" This got Shizune's attention and she began to feel nervous. How was she going to show him? Was she going to show him pictures? She supposed that she could go home and get an anatomy book, she wasn't sure if she would come back since she would be too nervous. Even though it was a mission, it still unnerved her. So that left her with only one logical solution: She would have to get naked. The mere thought of being naked in front of Naruto caused her heart to flutter. It seemed that the problem here would be controlling her libido.
"Well, first off. Promise me that you won't tell anyone what happens from here on out." Shizune said.
"Err... why?" asked a confused Naruto.
"Because it would be embarrassing for me!" Shizune said, a bit exasperated.
Naruto was a bit taken back, but he agreed nonetheless. After making his promise, Shizune mentally prepared herself. She told herself that she wouldn't be turned on and that she would answer any question that Naruto had for her. Yosh! She was ready!
"All right Naruto." She said as she began to disrobe. Slowly, she peeled off the top part of her kimono, showing off an exposed shoulder. Then she did the same with the other side until that shoulder was exposed too. Slowly, the top of her kimono was going lower, and lower until it just stopped just right above where her breasts started. It was just as she was about to reveal her breasts that she noticed Naruto staring at her with an intense look. This caused her to blush out of embarrassment. She really didn't want Naruto ogling at her, even if she did like him a bit.
"Naruto..." Naruto's ears perked up at the sound of his name being called, "Please don't stare at me like that. This is the first time I'm doing such a thing and it makes me a bit uncomfortable."
Naruto nodded in understanding, which surprised Shizune a bit. For being a man, he had a surprising amount of self-control. This train of thought didn't help however and only added fuel to her increasing lust for Naruto. She gulped a bit, knowing that she still had a mission to do and it would be bad if she got sidetracked right now.
She couldn't do it. It was too much for her. She couldn't just undress on command! This wasn't her and she's not used to being in alone with another man. Her hands where frozen, grabbing the cloth of the kimono just above her breasts. She couldn't finish pulling it down and reveal to Naruto something so intimate of her. She just couldn't do it.
"Are you alright Shizune?" Naruto asked with a worried look. He had felt her hesitation and he somewhat understood why. But now, he could feel a bit of desperation coming from her. Maybe it was fear? Whatever it was, he needed to comfort Shizune. "You know, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. I can always learn by myself."
Shizune looked up and was surprised to see that the look of worry on his face was directed toward her. He cared about her well-being and she supposed that he could feel her anxiety. She relaxed. She realized that Naruto wasn't like any other man. Naruto was a man whom people could trust and after all, he would be learning a valuable lesson about women and it would be thanks to her.
"It's ok Naruto. I guess I just needed a bit of reassurance and well... you reassured me." Shizune said with a smile.
Though feeling happy to see Shizune smile, Naruto didn't understand how he reassured her. It didn't matter much to him though, all he wanted to do was make Shizune feel better and that's what he did...even if he didn't know how he did it.
Shizune took took a deep breath and let the kimono fall to her lap which revealed her breasts in all their splendid glory. All Naruto could do was stare. Out of nowhere, he felt the need to touch them. 'They look soft...' Naruto thought dreamily. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. Shizune had told him earlier not to ogle and he wasn't about to start ogling now! Now matter how much he wanted to!
He opted to look at Shizune's face and was caught underneath the stare of Shizune. Naruto gulped. He was staring into the eyes of Shizune and the look she gave him made him feel... light. He looked away, though he had a hard time doing it. He calmed himself down a little, and turned back to Shizune who was waiting patiently... blush and all.
"Are you ready Naruto?" Shizune asked, trying remain professional about the entire situation.. The only response she got from the blonde was a small nod. This also made Shizune realize that although Naruto was different from most men, he was still in fact a man.
"All right Naruto, these are called breasts which you surely already know." Naruto nodded but then raised his hand and shook it as if he were a little kid. This made Shizune giggle a bit, causing her breasts to jiggle. This averted Naruto's eyes to her breasts and caused him to drool just a bit.
Shizune noticed this and covered her breasts with her arms before saying with a bit of a stutter, "Yes? W-What is it Naruto?" Naruto looked into her eyes and said, "Huh?"
Shizune's blush deepened in color before she repeated her statement, "W-What was your q-question Naruto?"
Naruto finally snapped out of his daze and asked his question, "How is this going to help me learn how babies are made?"
"Well Naruto, " She paused, unsure of what to say next. She wasn't sure if she should explain the whole deal, or just tell him how babies are made. But she had to decide quickly because every minute that went by made her more nervous... and more excited. "For one thing, babies feed from a woman's breast."
Naruto suddenly became alarmed and yelled out, "What! Babies eat women's breasts?!"
Shizune gave Naruto a blank look. She then shook her head, how could someone be so naive? "No Naruto. They suck on the nipple and drink the milk that comes from a woman's breast."
Naruto relaxed which made him realize that he had stood up. He sat back down and that's when a question came to mind, "What's a nipple?"
Shizune's eyes widened a bit, but she knew that she would have to explain. She slowly placed her arms to either side of her and revealed her breasts once again. With one finger, she pointed toward the protruding, darker area of her breasts. "This is a nipple Naruto. This is where babies put their mouths and suck on it. Milk comes from this area. Do you understand?"
Naruto nodded and said something that caused Shizune to nearly have a heart attack, "So if I were to suck on it, milk would come out?"
Shizune's blush surpassed even Hinata's blush in redness. She had never felt more embarrassed... or turned on. She was thankful that she didn't sense any perverse underlying tone. It seemed Naruto asked out of genuine curiosity. Still...
"Y-Yes Naruto. I-If you were to s-s-suck on it, milk would come out. D-Didn't I explain that already?" Shizune said, trying to change the conversation. Her blush was became more and more intense with each passing minute. She also remembered to cover her breasts with her arms once again.
Naruto couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed that Shizune had covered her breasts, which made him ponder why he feel disappointed. He shook his head to clear any wandering perverted thoughts he might have."Yea you did, but I always thought that milk came from cows." Naruto scratched his head in confusion, doesn't milk only come from cows? That's what he wondered and he was hoping to get his question answered.
Shizune sighed a bit, she finally got a break! "Yes well, ever single female of any species has to provide milk for young. For example, when a cow has a baby, the cow makes milk and sometimes there's an excess and farmers take milk from the cow for our own uses."
Naruto let out a soft 'oh' of understanding. Then another question came up, "So, how do they take out the milk?"